"Shackles" by Nick Martin - RAI Remix


Santana's POV

She doesn't know if it's the third or the fifth shot she just swallowed down. She lost count. Because it's hard to concentrate. It's freaking hot in this place and Brittany's freaking hot, too. She's wearing that buttoned up shirt and her hair is up in a tight ponytail and she's just… driving Santana insane! Does she want her or not? Is she interested at all?

Because half an hour ago they were freakin' making out downstairs, their hands all over everywhere and now Brittany's not even looking at her anymore. She's once again standing at the bar with her tall friend Dom and they're obviously having lots of fun all by themselves, drinking their cute little sodas…

Santana and Kurt are sitting in some more comfortable chairs across the room where they joined some of Kurt's friends a while ago.

She can't help it. She keeps throwing looks over to where Brittany's standing at the counter. She's not even really following the conversation that is happening at her table because her mind keeps going back to when she was attached to Brittany's lips and hands. How come she can't think of anything else? Ever since their first kiss?

She wonders what Brittany thinks about it. It's not like she's an open book or something. No she's been the complete opposite. She's a big fucking mystery to Santana. What the hell does she want? How can she go from throwing those intent looks at Santana when they were downstairs to dancing closely, to kissing in a dark corner and then to not even paying attention?

It's Kurt who pays attention to her eventually by holding another drink in front of Santana's eyes. She groans. She's had way too much to drink tonight. Still she takes the glass from Kurt's hand to take a sip.

She shouldn't drink a wild mix. She'll regret it tomorrow.

After a few sips she puts the drink onto the small table between their chairs. Kurt gives her a worried look when she tells him that she ordered an Uber a few minutes ago and wants to go home. She doesn't feel like explaining. But she stopped having fun when she once again got ignored by the blonde over there.

So she gets up on her feet, says goodbye to Kurt by giving him a kiss on the cheek and assures him that she's fine. Because she is. She's not hurt. She's not upset. She's just drunk and needs a ride home.

Kurt makes her promise to text him as soon as she gets home safe. Then she grabs her purse and makes her way. Over to the bar. Why? She doesn't know. She was actually heading towards the exit. But the way Brittany's leaning against the counter, laughing at something her friend says, annoys Santana. It simply annoys her and she needs the blonde to understand.

She approaches them and when she gets really close, she's got some words ready but then Dom smiles at Santana and pokes Brittany's shoulder to make her turn her head.

The blonde's lips curl into a smile, too when their eyes lock. It's sweet but Santana doesn't feel like sweet. She feels like doing things they did forty minutes ago but it's too late now. She's mad at Brittany.

"I'm leaving" Is everything she says to the blonde, then she looks at Dom. "It was nice meeting you."

Dom reciprocates the same with another friendly smile before looking back and forth between Brittany and Santana.

Santana takes the decision from Brittany whether to say goodbye or not. Brittany's probably physically incapable to do so anyway. Just like she's incapable of giving answers. Or speaking in general. Like simple words.

Santana walks off before the other woman gets the chance to say anything.

It's not easy to walk completely straight though. The amount of alcohol she consumed tonight is making its presence felt when she steps outside into the dark night. Luckily some fresh air hits her face as soon as she distances herself from The Surface.

She finds herself once again standing outside in the darkness of the night on a weekend, alone, about to head home. Going out sucks so much sometimes.

The Uber is going to pick her up any minute, so she steps close to the street, ready to just stand there and wait. She's trembling. Because it's getting cold and because she's upset. Yes, she's upset. She was making a fool of herself when she thought that Brittany's behavior wasn't making her feel upset or confused.

When Santana closes her eyes to make the dizziness more bearable, she can hear steps coming closer. She feels the presence of somebody coming to a halt next to her. Santana doesn't need to open her eyes to know who it is. She's not ready to face her.

So she stays quiet.

"Are you alright?" Brittany asks somewhat carefully and somewhat challenging. And it's a somewhat dumb question in Santana's opinion. She opens her eyes but doesn't turn her head. She lets several cars drive by before she speaks because she needs to make sure that Brittany will hear and understand.

"No, I'm not alright" She starts. This is probably the most drunk she has been in a long time. Brittany shouldn't see her like this. She doesn't usually get this drunk but tonight was more than eventful and it's not ok. It's not ok to act this way and then just stop. "You know Brittany, maybe you do this all the time and maybe it's easy for you to just have fun every now and then but I have to disappoint you. This…" That's when Santana turns to her side to face Brittany.

Brittany is already looking at her. There's something in her face that is so hard to read. Insecurity and also a bad conscience or something. Like she knows exactly what Santana wants to say because she has been told many times before. From all kinds of people.

Santana points somewhere at the space between them. "This" She repeats but suddenly she's not so sure anymore. She kind of wants to hold Brittany.

"It's just so confusing when someone kisses you and then doesn't even look at you anymore." Santana tries to explain with a softer voice but it comes out rather desperate. "I get that you're not much of a talker. That's fine. We don't even know each other really. But I'm still a person. I like to know who's lips I kiss and who I might take home."

Brittany looks at her wordlessly. She's lost. Santana can tell that much.

"I mean that's what you're looking for, right?" Santana asks. Brittany frowns. "Fun?" She explains.

The blonde quickly looks to the ground before facing Santana again. She opens her mouth to finally say something.

Then a car stops right next to them. It's Santana's ride and she exhales a short laugh. Perfect timing.

"Look… I'm going home now. This is way too complicated for me." Santana wasn't actually finished with her sentence. She wants to say something else but when she steps forward to open the door to the backseat of the car, she stumbles. She stumbles and loses balance because maybe the fresh air makes her feel like she's sobered up but of course that's not the case. She's still drunk and Brittany catches her, preventing an ugly fall.

Ugh why does she have to feel so good? When she wraps an arm around Santana's middle and easily opens the door with her free hand?

Somehow Santana gets guided into the backseat of the car. The driver greets her. Then they're already driving off. Did she even close the door? Everything's happening so fast when your body feels so slow and heavy.

When she turns to check, she finds Brittany sitting next to her.

"What do you think you're doing?" Santana wants to know. She's truly surprised. The blonde looks at her with a shrug.

"If you think I'll let you get into a stranger's car alone in that state then you're wrong." She simply explains still looking at Santana.

Santana hisses. She shakes her head at the silliness. She doesn't need this.

"You don't have to be my protector. You didn't have to be before on the dance floor and you don't have to be now."

She's not sure but she might have just slurred a little bit during that sentence. Brittany doesn't give the impression that she'll make the driver stop the car to let her out anytime soon.

Santana leans back in her seat, deciding to ignore Brittany for a change. The drive will take another ten minutes. She closes her eyes as the nausea is kicking in.

She doesn't know what the blonde thinks is going to happen when they arrive at her place.

It's Brittany's problem. Santana told her that she doesn't need her.


Brittany's POV

Her eyes haven't left the brunette's face since they got into the car long minutes ago. They're going to pull into Santana's drive way any time soon which will hopefully wake her up. Because Santana is either ignoring her by having her eyes closed or she actually fell asleep.

She looks weary and like she's cold. She must be cold in that short dress. But Brittany knows better than to put an arm around the woman. It's clear that she's upset.

She's not going to blame her for getting upset. Well… Brittany isn't sure what happened back at the club that upset her so much actually. They went back upstairs to get a drink after they had kissed in that dark corner. At the bar they started talking to Dom and Kurt who were already waiting there. At one point it was just Brittany and Dom. Sometimes they get lost in their conversations and forget about everyone around them. It's a bad habit, she knows it.

Brittany wonders what she's going to do next. Santana wasn't happy about Brittany joining her but what was she going to do? This Uber driver could be anyone. She couldn't possibly watch Santana getting into a car with such clouded judgment. She'll make sure that Santana gets inside her house safely and then she can either call a cab or ask the driver to wait for her.

She just needs to know that she's safe. That's all.

They come to a halt a minute later. Apparently Santana hasn't been ignoring Brittany on purpose. She's completely knocked out. She doesn't respond when Brittany calls her name for the second time while also nudging her shoulder.

Brittany takes a moment to think. Then she talks to the driver to find out that Santana has already paid for the ride with her credit card. Quickly she jumps out of the car to get around it and to open the door on Santana's side. The driver just shrugs when Brittany apologizes for the wait they're causing.

The brunette mumbles something in her sleep when Brittany tells her to put an arm around Brittany's neck. Somehow she manages to even grab Santana's purse before reaching underneath the brunette's thighs.

She's carried so many things. She's used to picking up heavy items when working in gardens. She's used to having sore arms in the evenings because she lifted stuff that was probably too heavy. Santana isn't heavy at all. She's making it easy for Brittany when she wraps her arms around Brittany's neck and holds on.

This way Brittany can shut the car door with her foot and then make her way over to the front door of Santana's house. It's just a short distance. Every step she takes, she wonders if Santana will be fine. And she thinks that it's nice to have her close and to make Santana feel that she's taken care of. Because the way she's hiding her face in Brittany's neck, holding on tightly, tells her that she's not so angry anymore.

When they get to the doorstep, Brittany carefully puts Santana down on her feet after telling her that they have reached her house and that she needs Santana's help to open the door.

The brunette stands on unsteady legs when she goes through her purse to find the keys. After a lousy attempt to unlock the door, she hands the keys to Brittany without comment.

Brittany takes them but won't let Santana go when she puts the key into the lock with one hand. The other one is still holding the purse and steading Santana's middle.

"You don't have to do this" Santana mumbles when they step inside the dark entry hall. Brittany wants to say something but catches Santana once again from stumbling. She grabs Santana's arm and guides it around her shoulder before they walk into the living room together. On their way Brittany manages to turn on a lamp on a small table so they'll find their way to the couch without further almost accidents.

She guides Santana to sit down on the couch but when the brunette's arm is still lying heavily around her shoulders, Brittany gets pulled with her.

She doesn't fall onto Santana's body though. Because unlike the other woman, Brittany isn't drunk and can push her own weight up when Santana slumps into the cushions. She's lying on her back, underneath Brittany, heavy eyelids hardly open. Brittany swallows when she watches how Santana tiredly gazes up at her.

It would be an incredibly intimate position if it weren't for the circumstances.

Santana's arm is still somewhere resting on Brittany's, weak fingers spreading warmth on her skin.

"You make my head swim, Brittany" Santana mumbles. For a moment she's completely there. "Physically and emotionally."

Brittany's lips part. Her breath not daring to escape. When did her own thumb find rest on Santana's temple?

It is an intimate position. Despite the circumstances.

"Maybe you could… get me a glass of water? Please." Santana whispers when her eyes are falling close. Brittany's eyes roam over Santana's face.

"Sure" She mumbles in response before pushing herself up.

She feels her own cheeks burning when she quickly heads to the kitchen in order to get Santana what she needs. It takes her a moment to find the cupboard with the glasses and when she returns to the living room with the water in her hand, she can tell that the brunette has probably fallen asleep.

Her body is curled to the side, one arm tiredly hanging off the couch. Brittany puts the glass onto the small table next to it. Then she grabs a blanket from a chair and covers Santana's body up to her shoulders.

"Are you going to be ok?" Brittany asks with a calm voice. She doesn't know if Santana registers her words or if she's deeply asleep. So she asks her again when she gets no answer.

This time Santana mumbles a 'yes' which is enough for Brittany to feel a tiny bit relieved.

"On Monday I'll come to work and… maybe we can… talk." Brittany says more likely to herself than to a sleeping Santana. Still she gets a confirming hum in return. With that and another look at the brunette, Brittany decides that she should leave now.

She whispers a goodbye to Santana before making her way to the front door. Once she's outside she starts walking to think of her options to get home. The Uber driver has long gone and Brittany doesn't remember the last time she ordered a cab somewhere and why she should start now.

She wonders what she'll say to Santana when they get to see each other on Monday. I don't do relationships but thanks?

Santana wasn't wrong when she asked Brittany if she's looking for fun. This is how she's been living her life in the past couple years and she likes it. Ok maybe this is how she's always lived her life. She likes it simple. It's easy. She doesn't know how people do it when they jump into relationships. Sure, dating can be nice. Not that she has done lots of it. But with the right person it could be nice. Not that she has met the right person. What is the right person anyway…

She doesn't know what Santana wants. She doesn't seem like the person who has several flings going on or something. Brittany even assumed she was married when she first got to know her.

She has no idea if Santana is looking for something serious or well, fun, too. Because Brittany isn't good at serious things. That's why she hasn't had them. Relationships. She's way too comfortable with herself.

It's true… and keeping things real has always been the best way to cope. She's not going to change her habits now that she's started this thing with Santana. She'll tell her what the deal is when they see each other on Monday.

When Brittany takes a look at her watch, she can't believe that she's been walking for thirty minutes.

It's a beautiful and quiet night. She could go on like this forever. Spontaneously she decides to walk all the way home. It'll definitely take her another hour but her mind does need more of that fresh air to make those thoughts clearer. And also… to forget about Santana's lips or her body. Or the way she said that Brittany makes her head swim.

Brittany doesn't know the sensation that's bubbling inside her right at this moment. Well, she does. She knows it from when she was younger and sitting on a swing in her grandmother's garden. She always screamed at her Dad to not push her higher. But she also didn't want him to stop. She was overwhelmed at the adrenalin. It's something like that. Back then she didn't think about why it scared her to swing higher, yet she couldn't quite get enough.

It's something like that… and she can't quite get enough.