A/N: That was faster than I thought it would be. I'm trying to watch the Olympics, but for some reason, can't get into them. I think I like the winter ones better. Soccer is the only Olympic sport I like watching and all they're showing is gymnastics and swimming. I woke up at 5am to watch a soccer game...which is why I'm so tired now. Enjoy. Goodnight.
Chapter 9
Patience and Patients
Gi and the others decided to wait outside of Wheeler's room for Linka to come out. They saw Wheeler being taken down the hallway, but there was no sign of Linka. After a few minutes, her friends went back into Wheeler's room looking for her. They found her sitting in a chair, slumped over.
"LINKA!?" They yell as they rush to her side.
She is startled by their sudden exclamation and bolts upright in the chair, a little too quickly, giving herself a head rush and grabbing her head.
"Are you ok?" Gi asks.
"Nyet. I was feeling faint so I sat down and put my head between my knees, and then when I sat up suddenly, I got a head rush."
"Sorry. Are you still feeling faint?" Kwame asks.
"I will be fine. I just need to sit for a while."
"Here," Ma-Ti says as he hands her a glass of water.
"Thank you." Linka takes a drink, closes her eyes, and pinches the bridge of her nose, trying to relieve the pressure that is building behind her eyes.
A nurse walks in pushing a new bed and stops when she sees the room is still occupied.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were still here. They won't be bringing your husband back here after the surgery. He'll be in a different room. We'll be needing this room for a new patient. If you'd like, I can show you were the waiting room is…"
"I know where it is. Thank you. I just…"
"She's not feeling very well and needed a minute. We'll leave as soon as she's feeling up to it," Gi says protectively.
"Oh, of course. Take your time. Is that nausea medication helping?" the nurse asks.
"I think so. I was feeling faint just now."
"This is a hospital you know. It's crawling with doctors if you think you need to see one…" the nurse offers.
"No, but thank you. I will be fine."
"You have been saying that for days Linka. Maybe you should take advantage of being in a hospital and get checked out. If you are coming down with something, it could be dangerous for you to be around Wheeler..."
"I KNOW! Bozhe moy! Why do people have to keep reminding me that I may not be able to see my husband when he comes out of surgery because if I am sick, it could kill him?! IT IS ONLY NERVES! Nothing more," she cries.
Her friends and the nurse stand in shocked silence after Linka's emotional outburst.
"Calm down Linka," Gi soothes. "We just want you to take care of yourself…and we want what's best for Wheeler…if you're sick…you shouldn't…"
"I KNOW! I know…Fine. I will see a doctor," she relents.
"I can have one come to this room if you'd like?" the nurse offers.
"Yes, that would be nice. Thank you."
"Look at it this way, it will give you something to do to pass the time while Wheeler is in surgery," Ma-Ti suggests.
"Do you want me to wait with you?" Gi asks.
"Nyet. I will meet you back in the waiting room when I am finished," she says coolly.
Later...
When Linka gets back to the waiting room, she hesitates about whether or not to go in. She doesn't want to see or talk to anyone. The only person she wants to be around right now is Wheeler. She needs to see him. The diagnosis she had gotten from the doctor was shocking. She was not expecting her minor symptoms to be something so serious. She cannot get through it alone. She needs Wheeler now more than ever. She wishes she had seen the doctor sooner. If she had found out sooner, she could have told Wheeler. Would he have still gone through with the surgery had he known about her condition? This news changes everything. Just thinking about it makes her stomach flip. She turns and rushes towards the bathroom.
She splashes some water on her face and wipes it off with a paper towel. She takes in a deep breath and slowly lets it out, thankful that the nausea has passed.
As she is leaving the restroom, Gi is entering.
"Oh, excu-- Linka!? Is everything alright? Did the doctor see you yet? What did they say?"
"Slow down Gi. Yes, I saw a doctor, but I just want to focus on Wheeler right now, not me. I am going crazy just waiting for news. I need something to take my mind off everything."
"That's probably all it is then…nerves. That would explain the nausea and fatigue. I'm sure you haven't been sleeping that well lately, with all the wedding planning, and then worrying about the surgery."
"Da. Nerves."
"Well, I've been waiting for you to come back to the waiting room. While you were gone, a nurse came into the waiting room looking for you."
"What did she want? Is it Wheeler? He cannot be done with the surgery yet, it is too soon…it has only been…" she checks her watch "…an hour and forty five minutes. It is supposed to take around five hours…"
"Linka!" Gi says as she grabs Linka's arms. "Now who needs to slow down? Just listen to me…she came in shortly after we left you to come to the waiting room. She had something for you from Wheeler. Here," Gi says as she hands Linka an envelope. "She said that he told her to tell you that he wrote it a few days ago and wanted you to have it while he was in surgery, that way it was like he was here talking to you."
Linka examines it and smiles as she runs her thumb across her name, "Mrs. Linka Wheeler," neatly printed in Wheeler's handwriting.
"I am going to go outside for some fresh air and to read this."
"Do you want company?"
"Nyet. I would like to be alone,"
"Ok, sure."
"But thank you...for everything. I know I am being difficult..."
"It's ok. You have every reason to be. Everything will work out fine though." Gi reassures her friend.
"If there is news about Wheeler, will you have Ma-Ti contact me?"
"Of course…and if you change your mind and want company, you know where to find me," Gi says as she gives her friend's hand a squeeze.
"Da."
Linka walks out the sliding automatic doors and finds a bench to sit on. She carefully slides her finger along the top of the envelope to rip it open. She pulls out the folded pages and unfolds them. In it, she finds his wedding ring attached to the necklace that also holds the Sacred Heart medal she had gotten him when they first started their relationship. It was meant to remind him of her flaming hearts tattoo that she had gotten in college because it reminded her of him. Why is he giving these things back? She looks down at the letter in her trembling hands and begins to read it:
Dear Linka,
I'm giving you my wedding ring and sacred heart medal that you gave me because I was told not to wear any jewelry into the operating room. I hate having to take either one of them off because as long as I have them, I feel like a part of you is always with me. Just hang onto these for me for a few hours and give 'em back when you come to see me afterwards.
Well, today's the big day. As you're reading this, I'm alone in a sterile room surrounded by doctors, nurses, and other medical personnel that are ready to jump in and do their thing. They don't know me. They don't care about me. To me, I'm just another patient. Of course, they don't want me to die, but death is a part of their profession and they're used to it. I think they call it "clinical detachment." They don't know about my personal life, that the guy they're dissecting is giving over half his liver to his ex-alcoholic father, who made his life miserable as a kid. But you know.
You know how hard it was for me to forgive my dad. I can't just forget what happened in the past, but I can make sure there's nothing but good memories in the future. The people who are about to operate on me don't know that I am the luckiest man in the world. They don't know that I'm married to the only girl who could ever make me happy. But you know…or at least, I hope you know that. I mean it Babe, all those years I spent trying to get your attention, then all those years I spent trying to forget you, as painful as that was, I'd do it all again if I knew we would end up together like we did. When we left the Planeteers and went our separate ways, the whole flight to New York, I tried to picture what my life would be like without you…I couldn't do it. Even though I knew it was impossible, or at least highly unlikely that we'd have a future together, I still held out hope. I'm so glad I did. I couldn't move on...not without you. Something inside me told me that you were the one I was meant to be with. You were my first and only true love. These last few months together have been everything I'd ever hoped for and more.
When they put me under today, I want you to know that you'll be the last thing I think of. Your face is the image that I will see when I close my eyes. And I know when I wake up after the surgery, yours will be the first face that I see. Your voice will be the first that I hear. Your hand brushing the hair off my forehead while your other hand holds mine will be the first thing I feel. I know that you'll be at my side the second they say, "Mrs. Wheeler, you can go in to see your husband now," and I know you won't leave until after visiting hours have ended and the nurses have forced you out!
I can't wait to get started on spending the rest of my life with you; starting a family with you; raising our kids and watching them start their own families. Things might not always be easy, like right now, I know you're having a hard time watching me do this, and I'm so sorry that I'm putting you through all this worry. I wish there was another way. Just look at it this way, if I will go this far for someone that I spent many years trying not to hate, just think of what I'd do for someone that I love as much as I love you. I'm only giving up half a liver for my dad, but I'd give my life for you. From the time we first met, there was never a time when I wasn't in love with you. Even when I had started to give up hope that we'd be together, tried to resign myself to the fact that you'd probably moved on and I should too, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I never stopped loving you. When we were younger and we'd have our little fights over the stupidest little things, I'd try to stay mad at you and avoid you, but I couldn't. I couldn't stand not being around you, or not talking to you, and when I'd look at you, I had a hard time remembering I was supposed to be mad at you. I thought you might like to know that for future reference! You will win every argument because I will ALWAYS be the one that caves. I can accept that. You know why? Because as much as I hate arguing with you, I LOOOOOOVE making up with you! ; )
I'm so happy you're my wife. I don't know if I can ever find the words to express to you exactly how happy I am…I don't even know if there is a word strong enough to describe how I feel. I will be the best husband I can be to you. You are everything to me, and I'm nothing without you. I need you…always. And I am forever yours.
See you when I wake up!
Love,
me
Linka wipes away the tears that have been falling and places his chain with the sacred heart pendant and his wedding ring around her neck for safe keeping. She knew Wheeler was capable of being sweet…he was the king of sweet-talking, especially when he was trying to impress her. She knew that this was much more than that. He sat down and put these thoughts together for her and wrote them down so that she would always have proof of how he felt. Sometimes, it's easy to forget the kind things that people say, but when it's written down, it can be read over and over again, which is exactly what Linka is doing.
A few hours have passed when Linka decides to go inside. Wheeler has been in surgery for almost five hours and if things are on schedule, according to Dr. Richardson, the surgery should be over soon and they should be getting ready to transfer Wheeler's partial liver to Joe.
She enters the waiting room and sees her friends sitting on a couch in the corner, watching TV and playing a card game.
"Hey Linka. How are you feeling?" Ma-Ti asks as he looks up from his hand of cards.
"I have been better…but thank you for asking. Where is Kathy?"
"She has been sitting with Mr. Wheeler in his room this whole time. The nurse said that even though he is in ICU and should not have visitors for more than a few minutes, she could stay with him until it was time to take him back for the transplant," Kwame explained.
"That is good. She should be with him and spend as much time with him as she can before the surgery. I am glad I was able to spend as much time as possible with Wheeler before they took him back," she checks her watch for the millionth time that day, "he should be out of surgery soon."
Just then, Kathy walks into the room and makes her way over to the group. They do not notice until she approaches Linka and puts her hand on her back.
"The others told me you aren't feeling well and were going to see a doctor. Everything ok?"
"Nothing will be ok until our husbands are out of this horrible place and recovering comfortably at home," Linka says, expertly avoiding Kathy's question. "Have they taken Joe back yet?"
"Yes, just now. I'm assuming that means that Jason is done or close to it. Haven't you heard anything?" Kathy asks.
Linka shakes her head as both women take a seat on the couch with the others.
Gi returns from the vending machine and approaches Linka,
"Here," she says as she hands Linka a bottle of ginger ale. "Is your stomach still upset?"
"A little. It comes and goes," Linka says. "Thank you."
"Have you eaten anything?" Ma-Ti asks.
"Nyet, but I probably should."
"Good, I also bought you a pack of peanut butter crackers," Gi says offering Linka the package.
"You thought of everything didn't you?! Thank you," Linka says as she accepts the package of crackers and opens them. She takes a small bite and tries to swallow, but feels like there is a huge lump in her throat that is preventing her from doing so.
"Mrs. Wheeler?" a voice calls from across the room.
Linka and Kathy both stand up. Once the doctor sees them, he makes his way over towards them with a medical chart in hand. "I'm sorry, I'm looking for the wife of Jason Wheeler?"
"That is me."
"I'm Dr. Brown. I assisted on your husband's surgery. He is out of surgery and has been moved to recovery…"
"When can I see him?" Linka interrupts.
"Once he wakes up in the recovery room, we will move him into a regular room. He'll be very groggy and out of it for a while…probably the rest of the day. But once he's settled in his room, you can go in there and sit with him. Someone will come get you when he's been moved to a room."
"Thank you doctor," she says as she breathes a sigh of relief.
A long time had passed and still, no one had come to get Linka. She was getting impatient and once again nauseous. She was pacing when she suddenly grabbed the arm of one of the chairs and sat down in it.
"Are you ok?" Gi asks as she rushes to Linka's side.
"I am just feeling a little dizzy, that is all."
"I do not blame you. All that pacing you were doing was making me dizzy too," Kwame teases.
"Are you going to be alright?" Ma-Ti asks.
"I do not know. I feel faint again," Linka says.
"Perhaps you should lie down," Gi says as she helps Linka up and leads her to the couch.
"I need to find out what is taking so long. Why have they not come to get me?"
"Maybe they forgot? I am sure it is busy there and they lose track of who is supposed to be informing the family," Kwame suggests.
"I will go up to the desk and ask them if they can call up to the recovery room and find out what is going on," Ma-Ti offers.
"Thank you Ma-Ti."
A few minutes later, Ma-Ti motions for Kwame to join him at the desk. Kwame leaves the girls and walks up to Ma-Ti.
"What did you find out?" Kwame asks.
"Nothing. They will not tell me anything since I am not family. I tried to explain that I was asking on behalf of Linka because she was not feeling well enough to do it herself, but that was still not good enough. I do not understand. They see I have been here all day with Wheeler's family, and yet they will not tell me anything, as if I am a complete stranger. I even told them that we are like brothers, but still, it is not good enough."
"It is ok. We will just ask Kathy to come over and do the asking. She's his mother, surely they can tell her."
"The only thing they would tell me is that a doctor would be down soon to speak with us...but a doctor was already here and told us it would only be a few minutes until Linka could go see Wheeler and that was...an hour and fifteen minutes ago!"
Just then, a doctor walks past them and over to the couch where Gi and Kathy were tending to Linka. It was Dr. Richardson, the doctor who had performed the surgery on Wheeler and was now supposed to be doing the surgery on Joe. He has a grim look on his face. Kwame and Ma-Ti do not like what they see. They look at each other with concern and then rush over to where the doctor stands before Kathy and Linka.
Once Linka sees the doctor approaching, she sits up on the couch and then stands to face him.
"It is about time!" she admonishes. "Can I see him now?"
"We were starting to get worried," Kathy says as she stands to join Linka, trying to calm her daughter in law by taking her hand.
"I'm sorry to keep you both waiting," Dr. Richardson apologizes. "Mrs. Wheeler...I'm afraid I've got some bad news..."
To be continued...but WHICH "Mrs. Wheeler" was he talking to?! I'm thinking maybe I just have one more chapter left to go...I have the last three paragraphs of it written. Now I just have to write the rest of it. Good news...I'm off work tomorrow...bad news...I tend to sleep all day, then I'm going to see Mamma Mia and go hang out with my friend and her baby...I might get some writing done tomorrow night. At the first sign of a cranky baby or dirty diaper, I'm outta there!
