Chapter 9: An Unexpected Escape
-Philip Masterson-
"So, Hi-Tech, how did you manage to convince this kid to come peacefully?" the blond leader with a buzz gelled stiff enough to pop a balloon asked, talking as though I wasn't there. Quite possibly the thing I hate most in life. People who act like you don't exist. It bugs me. A lot. Gritting my teeth, I tried to ignore him and continued staring straight ahead.
"He kind of looks… Hi-Tech, are you sure he's okay? He looks like he's asleep with his eyes open," said the African-American elephant who had poked his head in to talk to Hi-Tech. I still didn't know anyone else's codenames. Well, besides the two ninja, Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow. The guys who had turned me in.
"Um, well, I kind of talked him into it," Hi-Tech said weakly. I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes.
"Talked him into it?" Came the dubious reply from a female redhead with a southern accent.
"Uh… yeah," Hi-Tech answered. "But, um…"
"We don't have all day," blond hair-gel-man snapped.
"Can we just put him in the brig and be done with it?" Hi-Tech said weakly.
I resisted the urge to cackle, but not by much.
"How did Hi-Tech convince you?" balloon-popper asked me slowly, leaning down so we were face to face. "Can you tell me?"
Oh, so now we've moved on from idle threats to belittlement and unfounded condescension. Great. "Only if you have a more amusing offer than he does," I replied.
"How can I know if it's more amusing if you won't tell me?" he replied, rubbing his gelled spikes of doom.
"That's for me to know, and for you to find out," I answered, smirking.
"Can we please just take him to the brig?" Hi-Tech tried again. "Please, Duke?"
Spiky balloon killer glanced up. "Sure," he said reluctantly, stepping back.
"So you're Duke, eh?" I murmured, glancing around. "Fascinating."
"This kid's giving me the creeps!" Tyrannosaurus Rex the African-American exclaimed.
"I haven't been a kid since freshman year," I snorted.
"According to your files, that was just last year," Calamity Jane (as I was calling the southern accented redhead) said, glancing at a computer monitor.
"A lot can happen in a year," I replied, shrugging.
"Can we just put him in the brig now?" Hi-Tech asked nervously.
"How many times are you going to ask that?" I demanded.
"As many as it takes before they do it," he replied defensively.
"Yeah, yeah, Hi-Tech, we get it. Okay, Heavy Duty, take him to the brig," said Duke-the-spiky, waving a hand dismissively in my direction.
"Okay," Heavy Duty (the name made more sense than anything I was thinking of) agreed, not moving.
I stood. "Don't worry, I'll go quietly. I can be a good boy, if I try," I said, giving spike-man-Duke a disgusted look. Some people. I mean, it's not as if I'm stupid or anything… In fact, I'm a genius. And not self-proclaimed, either. I know when to make a fuss, and when to wait for the time to strike. Not only was everyone expecting me to attack, we were underwater, in their submarine base thing. What had they called it, the Grand Titan? Sea Triton? Something like that. Either way, now was most definitely not a prime time to attempt an escape, unless one enjoys obtaining the bends.
"Okay, um, the brig is this way," Hi-Tech said quickly, still not moving anything besides his head and hands, which were still shaking. Maybe he was on caffeine, or maybe he was just really hyperactive normally. Either way, he couldn't seem to stay still. "I'll lead, Heavy Duty follows," he finished.
"Better get a move on," Calamity Jane suggested after a long moment of no one moving.
Hi-Tech dashed for the door, and I dutifully followed, Heavy-Duty falling in behind me. I had to say, I was rather eager to get locked away-- the sooner I was locked up, the sooner I could get out. I hate the suspense of waiting. Better to get it over with. Though there are some things in life I'd rather avoid altogether…
-Storm Shadow-
I was trying to get a decent nap in before we met up with Hawk when klaxons began wailing and there were more flashing red lights than you see on a Christmas tree gone haywire. After dragging myself off of my board-like bunk, I scrambled down the narrow hall. I glanced down at my sigma suit communicator when I realized someone was yelling from it.
"--attack! Repeat, we are under attack! Report to your battle stations!" Hi-Tech shrilled like an opera singer.
This was perfect. Who was attacking us now, a sea turtle with shark teeth, or maybe a mutant killer anemone? Seriously! I figured my theory made about as much sense as a toothpick-sized kid throwing cars and cracking my ribs.
"Hi-Tech, stop yodeling and tell me who's attacking," I said, crawling up an access ladder to speed my ascent to the deck of the Sea Titan, which had surfaced moments before.
"It's COBRA," Hi-Tech said. "You're not going to believe this!"
"What?" I grumbled, sure I knew where this was going. Darn, I'm going to kill Snake Eyes if he's right even one more time…
"They want the Kid," Hi-Tech said.
"How did I know?" I exclaimed rhetorically, glancing at the pipes lining the access chute, as if they could answer me.
"That is not acceptable," Duke said, cutting in on Hi-Tech.
"I don't think Cobra's going to like that answer," Hi-Tech said nervously.
"Bad news," Heavy Duty said, breaking into Hi-Tech and Duke's conversation.
"I don't want to know," I sighed, throwing open an access hatch and jumping out onto the deck of the Sea Titan. Sloughs of Sky B.A.T.s stood out in the open, all facing the traditional entrance. Jeez. Who would be dumb enough to run out there when every B.A.T. had its guns targeted there? Even a non-Ninja would know better than to do something stupid like that. Then the double doors burst open, and out ran… The Freak. Of course.
I felt my jaw drop as he careened head-first into the front line of B.A.T.s… and smashed right through them. Literally. Next, he spun to his right and dove over the side of the Sea Titan. It took a moment before my brain registered exactly what I'd just seen. What?! That was the Freak! He escaped?! How? Arrrg!!
"This is so stupid! I hate that freak! I hate Cobra!" I howled, smashing a B.A.T. with every word. For the next few minutes, I took my frustration out on the hapless robots. Before long, the B.A.T.s were demolished thanks to myself, Snake Eyes, Heavy Duty, and the big gun that he totes everywhere.
That was the easy part of the job. As for debriefing…? That was painful.
-Snake Eyes-
"He escaped," Duke said blandly, a helpless look in his eye.
"We noticed," Thomas grumbled, stalking around the room like a caged tiger. "Or at least I did, when he busted his way through a line of B.A.T,s and dove over the edge of the Sea Titan."
"You could have tried to stop him," Heavy Duty said, whirling on Thomas.
"Before or after the billion B.A.T.s that The Freak didn't destroy blew me to kingdom come?" Thomas replied snipingly. Poor, poor fellow. He was obviously missing his sleep dreadfully.
"That kid is smarter than we gave him credit for," Heavy Duty said.
"And stronger!" Hi-Tech agreed. "He tore part of the ceiling out and escaped through the metal ductwork. He swiped fifty bucks from my lab desk, and… and…" Hi-Tech looked frantic. "He locked me out of the computers!"
"I should have known," Duke mused, stroking his chin. "He won all those awards… I guess he must be smart. I guess I just didn't realize that his scientific knowledge was so…advantageous, considering his situation."
"Science, not advantageous?" Hi-Tech snapped. "Hello, I'm here, aren't I? That's why I'm around, is because SCIENCE IS IMPORTANT!" he screeched the last part.
"Oh yes, your science skills seem to be doing a great deal of good," Thomas quipped, whirling on the blonde geek. "Especially since The Freak locked you out of your own computers."
Hi-Tech glared at Thomas for a second. "He just changed the password."
"What is it?" Thomas asked, intrigued.
"Pi to the hundredth decimal," Hi-Tech said miserably. "I think I hit a wrong number or two."
Duke sighed. "You might as well try again. We need to get back into the computers soon; we're sitting ducks out here. Fortunately, Cobra took off as soon as the kid got away."
"Guess I should be counting my blessings, but I'm too busy counting my bruises," Thomas snarled. "We need to get that kid before Cobra does, and we can't do it sitting on our butts!"
"I'm aware of this," Duke snapped, sounding irritated. "Hi-Tech, get back on that computer!"
Hi-Tech moaned. "I'll try," he said, sinking into a computer chair and poising his finger above the keyboard. "Three. Point. One. Four." With every word, he jabbed his finger down decisively. "One. Five. Nine. Two. Six. Five. Three. Five. Eight--"
"Oh, please," Thomas snapped. "He's messing with you. The password is not Pi to the…" he paused, and a gleeful, sadistic look crossed his face. "Oh, this is delicious," he said suddenly.
"Nine," Hi-Tech said firmly, jamming his finger down on the number. "Seven. Nine--"
"You don't use the numbers!" Thomas said suddenly.
"What, write it out manually?!" Hi-Tech screeched. He placed his hands on the keyboard and began typing quickly. "Threepointonefouronefiveninetwosixfivethree--"
"No!" Thomas snapped, pushing Hi-Tech aside. "Here. 'Pi to the hundredth decimal'." Thomas typed the phrase and leaned back. "What am I bet?"
"Just hit the button," Hi-Tech snorted. "It won't work."
"What am I bet?" Thomas insisted.
"I already lost my fifty dollars," Hi-Tech moaned.
"I bet ten," Heavy Duty said. "I don't think a science nerd would do--"
"But he's not just a science nerd. He's also cunning. He'd probably make a good ninja," Thomas mused, then glanced around the room. "Anyone else in on the bet?"
"No," Hi-Tech grumped. "Now just hit enter, already!" Thomas grinned, and with a flourish, pressed a key with over-the top dramatics. The screen returned to Hi-Tech's access page, and the Techie blanched in shock. "No… way…" he said quietly. "That's not funny!" he shouted. "Why would 'Pi to the hundredth decimal' be the password?"
"Because you guys over-analyze everything. This is his practical joke reply to your over-the-top security that didn't manage to hold him," I said.
"Precisely," Thomas said, folding his arms and grinning victoriously.
Heavy Duty scowled. "I should know better than to bet with a ninja," he grumbled, pulling out his wallet.
A/N: Yessss, HD, you should know better. Anyway, I went back and looked at my reviews, and I actually have quite a few, so thanks to everyone who did so! I have more being written, so I should update this soon. Stick around for more madness!
