A/N: Here's another chapter. Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter. It is really encouraging to get some feedback and know that there are people out there reading and enjoying this story. I'm having fun writing it. Please let me know what you think of this chapter. Thanks!

Disclaimer: Don't own. Never have, never will…

Chapter 9: Promises and Regrets

Sarah woke up the next morning to Hermione's persistent nudging, not a good way to be greeted in the morning if you asked her.

"Leave me alone" She mumbled and turned over to get away from the poking.

"Sarah, you are going to be late. You have to get up. It's already time for breakfast" Hermione insisted. "You can't miss breakfast, if you do, Snape will be…"

"Snape!" Sarah shot up, wide-eyed. She fell back on her pillow. "Arg. I'm in so much trouble. AGAIN"

Hermione sat down on her bed. "What did you do this time?" she asked incredulously. "you were asleep the whole night"

Sarah edged back up to rest her head against the headboard. "I…um…well, Harry and I kind of snuck out last night and Snape and Lupin caught us."

Hermione's eyes grew wide. "You didn't!" she gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth. "Why did you do that?"

"Harry saw Peter Pettigrew's name on the Map" Sarah stretched.

Hermione shook her head. "But Pettigrew is…"

"Dead. I know" Sarah groaned. "I have to move into Snape's quarters. He thinks I can't make good decisions on my own. He was angry, angrier that I have ever seen him and that is saying something. Well, maybe not angrier than the time I stole from his private potions store so we could brew the Polyjuice…or when I snuck out to Hogsmeade…yeah, that was worse, but this is still bad."

"Well" Hermione sighed. "You better get dressed. If you miss breakfast…."

"I know, I know" Sarah waved a hand. "Uncle Sev will be even madder. I just hope I don't fall asleep during double potions this afternoon."

"SARAH!" Hermione shuddered. "Don't even think like that!"

"I know, Snape would probably chop me up and use me in his potion if I fell asleep in his class" Sarah sighed, jumping out of bed, ready to get this horrible day over with.

Sarah didn't fall asleep in potions that afternoon, though by dinner she was in a sour mood, due to her sleep deficit. It didn't help when Snape approached her at the Gryffindor table and told her she had five minutes to finish her meal before he wanted her to report to his quarters. She had tons of work to do, and on top of that, she had detention in an hour with Lupin. She sighed, quickly ate and made her way to her uncle's quarters.

When Sarah entered, he nodded to her. "You have detention in an hour with Lupin. Get started on your work" He spoke to her in clipped tones and Sarah knew that he was still angry with her for sneaking out. She worked on her Transfiguration homework and then left for her detention with Lupin. The assignment turned out not to be so bad- simply lines though while doing them, she felt frustrated that she was there and not doing her work. She had so much to do and this seemed like a waste of time.

After her fifth hefty sigh, Lupin called her over to him. Harry looked up only briefly, before continuing with his lines.

"Come here, Sarah" Lupin spoke gently, but sternly as he pulled her over to his side. "I don't appreciate your attitude right now. I understand that you are tired, I can see that in your eyes, but that is not my fault."

"I know that, sir" Sarah rubbed her eyes, before groaning softly. "I just have so much to do". Her lip trembled and Remus had to remind himself to be stern for when he saw her lip quiver, his heart melted. These two children in the room were the children of his best friends from his childhood. He had held them as babies and watched them grow for a little over a year as their Uncle Moony. And now they were sitting before him, with no relationship more than professor and students. Yet, when Remus saw Sarah's expression, he couldn't help but flash back to those other times. But reminding himself to be strong, he forced himself to reply, "Still that is not my fault. Adjust your attitude or you will find yourself back here tomorrow night."

Sarah nodded her head and followed Remus's gesture to sit back down. Sure that Snape would murder her if she had detention because of her attitude; she struggled to keep it under control. When finally dismissed at 9:00 (with a stern reminder to both children to behave and a hug to know that all was forgiven), Sarah rushed back to Snape's quarters to start on her essay which was due tomorrow in Charms. Flitwick decided to assign the longest essay he had in their time at Hogwarts, and Sarah hadn't started it yet. She was about half way through, when Snape came in her room.

"Lights out Black" He went to where she was seated by her desk.

Sarah sighed in frustration, rubbing her eyes. "I need more time."

Snape's eyes narrowed and he stuck out his hand, palm up. Sarah frowned, but stuck her parchment in Snape's hand.

He sat down on her bed, reading her essay. "How much more do you have?" He asked in a quiet voice.

"Two more feet" Sarah groaned. "I can get it done."

"Did you procrastinate for this essay, Black?" Snape continued to ask in a calm voice, but Sarah knew it was one of those times when he was deceptively calm.

"I'm good in charms" Sarah said defensively. "It's good so far."

"You didn't answer my question" Snape stood up.

"I didn't think I would have detention!" Sarah was growing angry. Maybe because she was exhausted, maybe because she knew that this would ruin her grade in Charms if she turned in her essay as is. "Just let me finish it."

"I think not" Snape shook his head. "But I see I need to be more involved in making sure you do your work. I have been too lax with you lately."

Sarah began to panic. "If I turn in my essay like this, I'm going to get a bad mark. You have to let me finish, please"

Severus shook his head. "No, this is not my fault, Sarah. You made the choice."

"But if I get a bad mark, then I will be in more trouble with you" Sarah argued, her voice raising a notch above normal.

"You will. That is correct. Again, that is not my fault. You made the choice"

"I hate when adults say that!" Sarah pouted stomping off to the bathroom, slamming the door hard. She couldn't fathom how Snape thought that he had been going easy on her lately. He was always quite strict with her. She took a minute to take a few breaths, trying not to break down into tears. Looking in the mirror, she realized that she could just finish the essay that night after Snape went to bed. Calmer now, she put on her pajamas and brushed her teeth. When she came out, Snape was sitting by her bed and Sarah got in and pulled the covers up. Still Snape just looked at her, measuring her up.

"You are still angry with me for sneaking out last night" Sarah said in a small voice.

"Yes" Snape responded simply before rising. "Goodnight, Black. I will see you in the morning" He gently shut the door behind him.

And Sarah realized for the first time since living with Snape, he didn't tuck her into bed. She was too old anyways, but she liked him doing it. It made her feel wanted. It was then she realized fully how angry Snape was with her.

She waited to be sure that Snape was in bed and then by the light of her wand finished her essay. It wasn't until she put the last word on the parchment that she realized that when she got her essay back that Snape would know that she finished it after he told her to go to bed. Groaning she smacked herself on the head. Why did she also have to be so stupid? Snape was already upset with her; she was unsure what this new development would do. She wished they could just scream at each other and get it over with. She would even take any punishment he wished to give out. But she couldn't take this cold shoulder Snape was giving her. It was worse than him smacking her or dissecting a thousand toads. And in that moment late at night, for the second time that year, she felt like she had lost her father.

--

"Come along, Sarah" Snape said urgency evident in his voce. "I have something I wish to show you. It is important."

Sarah nodded, fear sinking down into the pit of her stomach, but knowing still that as long as she was with Severus, she would be fine. "Alright, Dad, I'm coming."

"Take the portkey." Severus commanded and Sarah grabbed hold of it and down, down, down they went. Soon they arrived at their destination- an old, dilapidated abandoned house.

"It's in that room, Black. Go on in" Severus urged. Sarah turned to look at her adopted father. He had an encouraging look on his face as he gently pushed her inside the dark room.

Sarah rubbed her eyes as they tried to adjust to the dimness. She jumped when she heard a voice.

"Welcome, Sarah Black. I have been waiting for you." A man appeared out of the shadows, snake like eyes gleaming. "Lumos"

Sarah shirked back in fear. "No, No, No" she shook her head. "You can't be back."

"Indeed, I am and Severus, here, my most loyal servant was kind enough to bring you to me. We have a little matter to discuss of how you twice thwarted my attempts to come back to power. You are more loyal to Potter than you are me" Voldemort's voice was harsh. "But no matter, I will teach you, Sarah about loyalty" He drew out his wand.

Sarah turned to Severus. "Dad…" she pleaded with him to protect her, but Snape's eyes were hard.

He laughed. "Don't you see, Sarah? It was all an act. Me vowing to protect you from the Dark Lord, me adopting you, me calling you my little girl…"

Sarah whimpered. "But I thought you loved me"

"Love you?" Severus mocked. "Why would I love a thorn in my side? But the Dark Lord has been gracious enough to help me out here. Take you off my hands. You are his now"

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS! NO!" Sarah screamed. "NO! NO!"

Sarah jolted up in her bed, trembling. She felt for her wand. "Lumos" Her voice was shaky and she shivered in fear. Twisting the fabric of her sheets, she lowered her head and tried to calm herself down. But the more she tried, the more panicked she became as she relived her dream. Sarah was panting trying to get her breath. It was so quiet- eerily so, much like the house before Voldemort showed himself. Sarah bit her lip. She knew that her uncle was asleep, but the dream it was so real. Wrapping a blanket around her, she quietly made her way to her uncle's room. The lights were out, she didn't even know what time it was, but still she knew that she wouldn't be able to fall asleep without seeing him. She tapped on his door and then poked her head inside.

"Dad?" her voice croaked from dryness. Her hand that lit up her wand was shaking so the light was bouncing every which way in the dark room.

Severus stirred and groaned.

Sarah sighed and tried again. "Dad…I need you" she croaked.

"Sarah?" He sat up in his bed, at the distress he heard in her voice. He reached for his wand sitting on his nightstand. "Sarah, what's wrong?"

"Lumos" Severus lit up his room, studying his niece. "Sarah?" He was startled at how pale she looked. There was no color to her face and she looked like she might faint. He rubbed his eyes, as he got out of bed to take away her wand that she couldn't seem to hold still. "Are you sick?" Severus reached out to feel her head. "You are shaking so much."

Sarah shook her head and Severus frowned and grasped her elbow, leading her over to his bed to sit on his bed. Sarah laid her head down on his bed, her head suddenly feeling very heavy…or was it light? She wasn't sure, but she made sure to lay down before it decided to do so for her. "Accio thermometer" she vaguely heard Severus say. The thermometer came soaring from the other room.

Snape shook it and instructed her to open her mouth. Severus was startled when she shirked away from him. His eyes grew wide. Was the fear he sensed radiating from her? Fear of him? Surely, he had the capacity to evoke fear in all children, his niece included. But it was usually over some discipline situation and was resolved later. But this was different somehow. "child, what is it?"

"Dream" she murmured.

Severus sat next to her and put a tentative hand on her hip, shaking her a bit, prompting her. "You had a bad dream?

Sarah nodded.

"Was it the one with the Dark Lord?" Severus asked, hand still on her side.

Sarah remained silent.

"Sarah" Severus sighed exasperated. "It is late. I'm about to lose my patience. What was your dream about?" Still, she stayed quiet and Severus shook her harder this time.

"Sarah Grace!"

Sarah shot up. "STOP IT!" She glared at him. "Don't touch me!"

"What is your problem?" Severus grew irritable, removing his hand from her. "It is four fifteen in the morning. Either you tell me what the matter is or go back to your own room."

"You! You betrayed me to Voldemort!" Sarah screamed and grabbed one of his pillows to throw it at him. "You…I trusted you and he was there and you said that he was taking me off your hands and that you never loved and" Sarah stopped, panting for breath. "I'm scared Dad. It was so real"

"Sarah!" Severus sputtered, taken aback. For a moment, he simply stared at her lost in thought and then nodded in understanding.

"I can't breathe" Sarah put a hand on her chest, which felt incredibly tight and Snape instantly moved to her and hand on her back, rubbing soothing circles as Sarah leaned over. Severus allowed her to rest head against him as she focused on taking shuddering breaths.

"Did you make sure you were calm before bed?" Snape asked sharply.

"No" Sarah took a deep breath and then another as Snape patted her back rhythmically, soothingly.

"We have talked about its importance, Sarah" Severus said with a sigh. "It helps you with your nightmares. You haven't had one in so long. What was your last thought before bed?"

Sarah groaned and tensed against Snape. "Don't make me tell you"

Severus frowned. "Something must have prompted this dream, Sarah. If we talk about and bring it out into the open, then we can deal with it."

"Can't we talk about it in the morning? Please?" Sarah begged. "Can't you give me dreamless sleep? I just needed to see you- I was scared, but I'm better. In fact, we never have to talk about it. It was just a stupid dream because I was just being stupid…"

Severus shook his head. "It's not going to be that easy, Sarah. But we can wait until the morning, when I think you can put two coherent thoughts together. I'll get the potion. You can eat breakfast here, so you can sleep in later. Then we will talk. I'll talk to Professor McGonagall about you missing Transfiguration tomorrow morning. I'll catch you up, but regardless, Sarah, this conversation is far from over, understood?"

Sarah nodded her head and Severus went to retrieve the potion from the other room. She plopped back down on the bed, suddenly feeling very tired. She crawled to where she could put her head on the pillow and snuggled down on the bed. Snape could carry her to the other room, but right now all she wanted to do was give in to the sleep and forget this night ever happened.

When Snape walked back into his room, he found his niece sound asleep, head on his pillow. Shaking his head in disbelief, he set down the potion on the nightstand just in case they needed it tonight. He tucked her legs underneath his covers and then reached to gently brush away the hair that was plastered to her face from the tears. He put his hand on her head, resting it there.

"Don't you know what I would do for you, child?" Severus wondered out loud. "Don't you understand how I completely need you perhaps even more than you need me?"

--

Sarah woke up the next morning to Snape's shaking her shoulder. Groaning she turned over, disappointed to be woken up like this two days in a row. "Five more minutes…" she moaned.

"You have slept well into the morning. Wake up now, Sarah" Severus commanded sternly. "Unless you want a repeat of the water dousing I gave you this summer"

Sarah sat up abruptly. "No!" She could still feel the icy cold water from the summer. That was certainly not something she wanted this morning.

Looking around, she realized she wasn't in her room. "Did I fall asleep in your room?"

"You did, you little brat" Severus teased. "Imagine my surprise to come back with the dreamless sleep potion to find you already asleep on my pillow"

"You could have carried me back to my bed" Sarah said smartly. "That's what I thought you were going to do when I fell asleep"

Snape rolled his eyes. "You were sleeping so peacefully, I didn't want to disturb you…but enough of this." He reached to grab her arm and pull her out of bed. "Rise and shine Black…you need a shower and then you and I will have our conversation."

Sarah wrinkled her nose. "Are you saying I smell?"

Severus simply grinned and gave her a playful shove towards the door.

Sarah went back to her room and took a shower, getting dressed. She frowned looking at the mirror. She was unsure she wanted to have this conversation, especially since she knew she would be forced to confess her late night mistake.

She turned as she heard a knock on the door. "Are you dressed?"

"Yeah, come in, Uncle Sev" Sarah came out of the bathroom carrying her pajamas and tucked them underneath her pillow. "I'm ready…"

"Are you going to dry your hair or walk around all day with it wet?" Severus asked. Sarah turned to study his expression. The question was serious.

"I don't feel like drying it" Sarah said.

"You mean you don't feel like casting a simple spell to dry your hair" Severus looked at her incredulously.

"Well, but then I would have to comb my hair and it's all tangly. If it just dries, it would be fine" Sarah explained.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Accio comb" He grabbed the comb and instructed her to sit on the bed, before gently combing her hair, making sure to take care of the tangles. He finished by drying her hair. "There you go. Stop being so lazy" he commanded, with a swat as Sarah rose to jump off the bed.

"Now then, let's talk" Severus said. "Let's go into the other room"

Sarah nodded. "Can you give me five minutes?"

"Five minutes Black and then we are having this conversation" Severus rose off the bed and left her alone. Sarah spent the time gathering her thoughts and figuring out her best course of action. Sighing she grabbed the parchment off of her desk and carried into the next room, where Severus was sitting on the couch, reading his potions journal. He looked up when Sarah dropped the parchment in his lap.

Frowning, Severus read the parchment all the way through, before looking up to meet Sarah's eyes. "Sit down, Sarah" he commanded. She sat next to him, shifting uneasily on the couch. She felt sick and she bit her lip, her face creasing in a frown.

Severus sat next to her, not saying a word, only continuing to look at his niece steadily. The silence was unnerving, an art that Severus had perfected.

"I'm sorry" Sarah had to break the silence, she couldn't stand it.

"I don't doubt that, Sarah" Severus stated. "Tell me your thinking."

Sarah took a deep breath. "I couldn't stand not to get a good grade in Charms, Uncle Sev. I didn't mean to disobey…well, I did mean to disobey…but I didn't think you would find out…or I didn't think about…but then when I thought about it…I'm so stupid" she moaned.

"No you aren't" Severus responded quietly. "Strong willed, careless, and stubborn, maybe, but never stupid."

Sarah squirmed some more and Severus continued in the same quiet voice, "Tell me your last thought before bed, Sarah."

"You are going to be angry with me!"

He shook his head. "I'm not. I promise"

"I thought that I lost you just like I lost my other dad!" Sarah cried. "Because you were so mad at me- you didn't even tuck me into bed and then I finished my essay and I knew you would find out and be even angrier"

"You were upset I didn't tuck you into bed?" Severus asked, his eyes widening in shock. "I'm sorry Sarah, I never thought that would upset you so much. You were angry at me. I thought you didn't want me to, otherwise, I certainly would have."

"I know I'm too old anyways, but…" Sarah wiped the tears from her face.

"But it makes you feel like I want to be your dad. I would never have you feel differently. I was angry with you, but I would never want you to feel unwanted or unloved. Believe me, your mother and I felt that growing up more times than naught. I would never want that for you, child" Severus pulled her closer to him and began to gently stroke her hair.

"So, you won't hand me over to Voldemort?" Sarah sniffed.

"Never" Severus's voice was adamant. "Never, Sarah. As long as I am living, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. He will never lay a hand on you, while I am around, that I can promise you."

Sarah sighed deeply. "Thanks Dad"

Severus continued stroking her hair, wondering if he could ever keep such a promise.

--

Sirius Black tried to warm his hands. The weather was cool and in the cave he was hiding, living off people's scraps, did little to warm him. He had found an old blanket and the fire he created was giving him some warmth all be it only a little.

He had gone out as Padfoot to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch cup final. He was gleeful when Harry helped defeat Slytherin to capture the Quidditch cup final. Harry could fly remarkably well, even better than James, which was not an easy feat. He looked for Sarah in the stands, but even though it was hard to see faces, he did not see one child that could resemble her. Harry was painfully easy to recognize, even if Sirius did not know he was a Gryffindor seeker. But Sarah, he wondered how she looked. For a horrific moment, Sirius turned away from the Gryffindor stands, to cast his gaze towards the Slytherins. Gracie didn't mention which house Sarah was sorted in and since she was a Black, she could have just been as easily in Slytherin than in Gryffindor. Sirius reflected that he would still love her just as much, even though he would have hated to see her in his rival house, the house of his family. Alas, Sarah wasn't there either. Maybe she was a Ravenclaw- it wasn't such a stretch to think his and Gracie's child could be brilliant OR loyal, Hufflepuff, maybe?

Sighing, Sirius rubbed his hands together. He should know what house his own daughter had been sorted in, instead of forced to speculate. How much time he had missed! He let his mind wander, immersed in his memories.

"Do you want more pancakes, Siri?" Gracie laughed at her husband, who had devoured his entire plate.

"No, thank you, though they were delicious." Sirius gazed at his wife appreciatively. "Why do I get such a treat this morning?"

"Sirius Black!" Gracie's eyes danced. "Are you saying I don't cook this well for you every morning?"

Sirius laughed. "Well….usually, I have to fend for myself before you get your coffee." He gave Grace a grin. Her shoulder length black hair was pulled back in a ponytail and though she was wearing sweats and a t-shirt, she looked as stunning as if she was in a ballroom dress, at least to Sirius. Grace went around and put her arms around her husband, hugging him from behind.

"You better watch it…or I'll hex you when you are not looking." Grace raised an eyebrow and Sirius pulled her around and down onto his lap, kissing her gently on the lips.

Grace's chocolate eyes met his grey ones and her mouth quivered slightly.

"Sirius" Her eyes held his. "I'm late."

"Late for what?" Sirius asked innocently. "Do you have an appointment that I forgot about? You can miss it, you know, and stay here with me. I'm sure we could keep ourselves busy." He kissed her again, this time harder.

"No Sirius" Grace laughed, rolling her eyes. "Be a grown up for a second. I'm late."

Sirius stared at her blankly for another moment, and then Grace's meaning finally registered. "Oh, Merlin help us…you're that late." Sirius's eyes grew wide.

Grace traced his face with her fingers. "I took the test, you know."

Sirius felt like his heart was about to explode, he could hardly breathe. "Gracie, are you saying…"

Grace smiled. "Well, I thought that since James and Lily had already asked you to be their baby's godfather, that we should return the favor."

"I'm going to be a dad?" Sirius voice was low, and his grey eyes contained immeasurable joy.

"That's what I have been trying to tell you." Gracie laughed as Sirius gently lifted her from his lap to rise, and grab her, swinging her around the middle of their kitchen floor.

"Sirius!" She squealed, her brown eyes dancing.

"Oh, Gracie, she is going to be just like you, with my brains for trouble of course." Sirius grinned at her, squeezing her hand.

"What makes you think that the baby is going to be a girl?" Grace asked.

"It could be a boy too…or we could have twins…or triplets, what do you think Gracie?" Sirius exclaimed.

"Sirius Orion Black, if you dared to get me pregnant with triplets, I will murder you." Grace growled but Sirius just laughed and picked her up again and swung her around, laughing.

Sirius chuckled at the memory. He missed his wife. "Why was I so stupid?" Sirius groaned, wrapping the blanket, tight and closing his eyes to fall into a restless sleep.