VIII. I Had A Good Life
Evening wind was blowing from the east, carrying warm air. Funny, Kunga seemed to unwillingly facing that direction, sniffing, as if he tried to catch her scent. Rodi could swear he wasn't aware of that – after all talking to the lioness and curing his head with about forty five degrees had to be rather difficult, yet is didn't make greyfurred any difference.
"Continue." She said, when lion reached the climax of his sad story.
"Well… is there anything to add?" Asked Kunga.
"Hell yeah!" Noticed Rodi. "For instance, you even didn't tell me what happened right after… When she asked you to leave."
Muzzle features of the rogue narrowed in painful remembrance and lioness regretted her words. After all it was to be just a soothing talk, not a interrogations and she wanted to help him, not quench her curiosity. However it turned out to be stronger than he. She felt ashamed. She stood up and came to him.
"It's all right. It is gone." She said, nuzzling his muzzle. "Now it's all different. You're right. You don't want to tell, don't tell." They were silent for a while, when lioness was still cuddling him.
"No." Said Kunga, stepping back and sitting again. "I think I should somehow tame it. Listen, if you want."
Then he took a deeper breath and looked east, the direction where he suffered it all. There was actually a wind from there. Sun just had set behind horizon and it became cold. Only evening breeze from Pridelands kept its warm. As they were sitting on southern cliff of Sahel River, they felt every change in weather easily. It was just about thirty kilometres in straight line from Priderock, but that was completely different world. Not just another kingdom, but also another reality. Yet still Kunga tried to sense some keepsakes of old life.
"Technically, she exiled me." Said the rogue, continuing his story. "Well, maybe that was most charming exile sentence that any creature ever heard, but the result was the same. She asked me not let her fulfil the promise she made to Zari."
"And Ahadi?" Asked Rodi.
"What with him?" Asked greymaned, apparently unpleased that she reminded him the king of Pridelands.
"He was there… he heard it all." Noticed lioness. "I don't believe he just stood there, without any word."
"But he did." Assured her Kunga. "Ona and Shauri were like paralysed too… Damn! I keep wondering what it would be, if I ordered them to attack and disable Ahadi with or without Uru's permission. Perhaps, if I were more… decisive, that story would end with different ending. Not happy for all, but happy for many. But… again, she turned out to be head of your relationship. I can't blame her for it, however…"
"Go back to the story." Asked Rodi, trying that was stop his gloomy thoughts. She knew that it was like fighting fire with fire, because self-accusations were changed by hard memories, but she think that variation was a value at its own.
"So I kissed her for a goodbye and turned back." Said lion. "Just like that. Save for Uru I had nothing that kept me there, so after I learn that we can't be together, I decided to… reduce all temptations. I understood that she got a change then. Ahadi… always was a bastard, but not completely heartless. I saw him in fear… even not of us, not of Uru, but of himself. He was looking on dead body of Zari and wondering, if that was true, he was a killer. He didn't want it, of course, but knew that death was caused by his ruthlessness and that was just a stroke of luck he snapped with Zari, not with Uru. I believe that changed him. My queen had chance to appease him and force him to mend all he had broken. Ahadi made some great debts… and I hope he is paying them back up to date."
"It sounds a bit cynical." Noticed Rodi. "Life and office of the king, forgiveness for killing for being better mate and father."
"Sounds nasty indeed." Agreed Kunga. "But Uru took that deal, knowing that was what Zari hoped for. And she did it not because of herself, but mainly for Taka. But that's a price one should pay for a child."
"Funny." Noticed Rodi. "I hear full acceptance in your voice. You sound almost as if you were his father."
"In a way, I am." Replied Kunga, looking in her eyes. Of course that didn't stop him from sniffing the eastern wind.
"All right, so tell me now – do you regret it?"
"What?" Asked the rogue. "That I didn't ordered Ona and Shauri to take Ahadi down?"
"No, that… all." Explained lioness. "All right, you couldn't predict that you meet Uru. Then, when your father was sick, you also acted not according to your will. But after we met, when you decided to go back. Do you regret it?"
Kunga was silent for long minutes, most likely repeating in mind all the benefits and all the price he paid for last year of his life. Rodi understood him. He genuinely loved his queen, but it didn't meant he should praise the fate for every hit he received because of her. If Rodi was in his place…
"NO!" Growled Kunga suddenly. Then added with calmer voice. "I just revised all my actions for last month and if I was given with a chance to live it again, with all knowledge I have now… I would change nothing." Rodi was confused, she looked on him with questioning stare. "Maybe I would tell Uru few things earlier… Maybe… or surely I would do something to save Zari and to fix all things with Ahadi earlier. But after all… I assume that no new circumstances were given… I would go away as well. Uru is a queen to her pride and mother to her children. She has duties primary to ones to me."
"Oh, Kunga… You are… silly in very admirable way." Smiled Rodi with bitter smile. "Do you think she is happy?"
"I guess that from the very start she suffered much." Replied greymaned. "But in time, when her new joys and troubles wiped out part of our memories, she used to it. She has two children and a kingdom to take care for. Yes, I think she is happy. I'm praying to my ancestors for that every day." He looked up to sky, where first stars were already visible. "And anyway… I had a good life. In spite I lived through hard times, above all else I lived through happy days. I had a wonderful family… my parents are dead, but they give me years of wonderful cubhood and youth. Then Uru… I may feel sorrow now, but after measuring all what was good and bad I paid with some pain for unbelievable happiness. I loved and was loved. There is nothing, I'm sure of that, nothing to regret." Then he asked. "And you?"
"What 'me'?" Asked Rodi.
"Do you regret that I left you then? That we haven't cubs and you returned to the pride?"
"Me?" She laughed quietly to surprise of Kunga. "I'm sure that would be sweet if you stayed… I mean both the fun itself and everything other… So don't take it as any insult, but in my life happened very much and I'm even scared to think how it would came if you stayed."
"All right, you made me curious." Admitted Kunga.
"Remember as you told me about Uru's doubts?" Asked Rodi and nodded. "That she really regretted you didn't stay, but she also was very glad you went away, because Taka was born thanks to that. You got what I mean? So in my case is quite similar… with many details. Including the fact you are in very friendly terms with a second queen?"
"Excuse me?" Asked confused.
"Easy, you seem to be used to deal with royals…" Smiled Rodi. "Well, so listen to me. As I ran out from the pride, I had on mind that want to meet some handsome rogue and let him fathered my cub. But your disappearance somehow made me think and postpone that. I returned to our pride… and accidentally told it to my king, Neno. I guess then something started. The queen died just month after, it was a hunting accident. Dhara was loved and respected, what made me really sad. But it was Neno most hurt by that. Somehow it happened that I simply wanted to comfort him… Well, in few days we will be announced mates."
"You're kidding." Murmured Kunga.
"I'm serious." She replied. "And then I believe you, that one could love children not of his or her blood. I always treated princess Jua and prince Nugurumo as lovely cubs, but now, as I'm replacing their mother… Well, they are mine already."
"Darn!" Murmured greymaned, moving back to be on the range from the queen that could be describe as 'decent'.
"Oh, be cool." Smiled Rodi. "First of all, I believe you have no longer any… well… 'learning' intention with me, as well I don't plan to be a tutor anymore. And Neno is a reasonable lion, not making so much fuss about her queen's friends as some…" She regretted these words, as he understood that it might hurt Kunga, but the lions stayed calm. "All right, never mind. We would better talk about your future. What are you going to do now?"
Kunga was wondering a while, of course several times looking left in Pridelands direction. Most likely she was looking some trap in Rodi's question, so he tried to find a way for neutral answer. He failed, so he replied honestly.
"When I told you that I had a good life, that means my pleasant time is over, but I still have some duties. Most likely I will try to settle down somewhere near to Pridelands. No, no…" He added, seeing grimace on Rodi's face. "I dropped all ideas of riding Ahadi off. I just want to be close to her. You know, just in case. We cannot tell when I would be needed."
"So, does it make Sahel Plains a fine spot?"
"Huh?" Asked Kunga.
"Stay here, with our pride." Asked Rodi. "Don't worry, I'm not going to pick you up, assuming you are partial to queens of all sorts…" She laughed. "I just want to help you, as a friend. As you – although unintentionally – gave my life a right direction, I want at least partially amend your ways. Do you want to stay?"
"But how it could be? A rogue with the pride…"
"Just leave it to me, I will be a queen, after all." Replied Rodi. Then she added with gentle voice. "I don't know if you 'had' a good life. Perhaps it's not over. But you deserved for a break. Stay here as long as you want. We will see, what the Circle of Life prepared for you. That might be interesting."
"You think my story is not over?"
"More than sure." She assured him. "At least I think it deserves some happier ending."
\/\/\/
Uru was simply the one, great bleeding wound, at least she felt that. Of course that had nothing to do with any physical pain (or it was? Her hind-leg again started to kick in), but inside she was shattered. Almost three years of efforts and hopes finally turned out to be just an illusion. Ahadi did it again, but that time exceeded any limit that the queen suspected him to reach.
He exiled Taka.
For year, he said. Yeah, that could have some time-limit, but in the first place that was a death-sentence for wounded and exhausted lion. Taka set off north, literally bleeding – his path was marked with red spots. Uru knew much about injuries and feared that dirty cuts could catch some inflammation.
The queen simply couldn't believed what had happened. She was betrayed by her mate and her son. It was their made – Mufasa provoked Taka to start a fight. Of course, he didn't kill him, but Ahadi was on the best way to mend that 'error'. Exiling wounded son, he was hurting him in a way as substantial as Taka's brother. Uru had to act.
As soon as Taka disappeared beyond the hill, she went to side chamber where they stored food. She ate as much as she was able, feeling her way could be long. She couldn't afford for hunting, as her aching paw was slowing her down significantly. Of course, she would have to hunt to feed Taka, but it was a future detail. First of all she had to take care about his wounds. She ignored sound of incoming lion and kept eating.
"What are you doing, my dear?" Asked Ahadi with seemingly calm tone.
"None of your cracking business." She growled, swallowing another bite. "Where's Mufasa? Is he comforting Sarabi already?"
"Listen, my dear, you might read it as cruel, but what happened…"
"Was cruel." Interrupted him the queen. "And that means there is nothing wrong with my sight."
"No, Taka got what he deserved!" Said Ahadi with cold tone.
"How he possibly could ever commit so terrible sin to have so terrible father and brother?"
"Silence!" Growled Ahadi, standing just in front of his mate.
"Or what?" Asked the queen. "You will beat me down as Muffy beat Taka? I will be defending myself, so call him for help."
"What are you talking about!?" Yelled confused Ahadi. "You are his mother, you can't blame Mufasa, for…"
"I hate you!" She gasped. "Stars, if you knew my thoughts… if you only knew how I regret that I did swear to Zari… If Kunga only…"
"DON'T SPEAK THIS NAME IN MY CAVE!" Roared the king.
"Or what?" She asked.
They were looking on each other in silence. Ahadi stood in chamber doorstep, while Uru in the other corner. Between them was left over after meet that the queen had just eaten. They were silently trying to stand another's stare. But suddenly Uru realized that she was just losing her time. She made a step ahead.
"I hope you understand. I always wanted to do it." She said and hit him.
Just like that – she raised her front-right paw and made a wide arc that ended when tip of her limb reached lion's muzzle. Her claws were extended and they hit the cheek, bursting with four red cuts. The king was surprised and the blow was strong – he simply lost his balance and fell down to the ground.
"You… you…" Hissed Ahadi. His voice was shivering from pain. "You hit me!"
"Thanks for enlightening me!" Smiled Uru. "But take notice that I was ten times more animale than our older son. I didn't aim for the eye." She set off to the exit from chamber.
"Where are you going?" Yelled Ahadi after her.
"Where I should be!" She replied.
No one dared to stop her, as she left Priderock.
\/\/\/
In spite of her imparity, she managed to catch a mongoose, for a good start – just by a change, not even stepping out of her path. After all she was the best huntress on Priderock, save for late Zari. So she was walking the rocks of Elephant Graveyard with rodent's carcass and herbs in her mouth. she climbed on the cliff to easier locate her son. She froze, seeing a lion, looking down the valley. She put her cargo down.
"Excuse me…" She said. "Have you seen a young lion here? He…"
"His name is Taka, I remember that, my queen." Said…
"Kunga…" Whispered shocked lioness, looking on lion.
She came closer to the bluff, where greymaned was standing. For those three years he changed just a bit. On his muzzle showed some furrows, many hoary hair covered his mane. But that face, expressing calm and noble straightforwardness was all the same. He was looking on Uru with the same stare of love as three years ago.
"Don't worry, my queen." He said. "I hear about it earlier, as I was following him yesterday and I heard about the duel. I escorted him here, not showing myself of course. He fainted down, due to bloodloss and exhaustion. I was able to clear most of his wounds and leave him some meat."
"Meat?" Repeated shocked Uru. She didn't know what to say, about what ask.
"Not directly." Explained lion. "I knocked down few mongooses nearby and crippled one antelope in a way it won't be able to leave this valley. Taka will hunt it."
"But you stayed hidden…"
"I decided that would be better." Replied Kunga. "Maybe he doesn't need to even know about my existence."
"You saved him." Whispered Uru. "You saved my son."
"I always thought about him as my son as well." Replied the rogue. "Or at least the son of lioness I love. That was all I needed."
They looked on each other in silence. After minute, maybe even longer Uru lowered her stare and said with crying voice.
"Kunga… You know I love you. When you were away there was no day I didn't remind you… miss you but also recalled all those good days."
"Same for me, my queen."
"Do you hate me?" She asked, sobbing.
"I love you, Uru."
"But I ordered you to leave."
"You had your reasons." Replied the rogue. "And in time I understood that you showed nothing but a spirit and a wisdom, making decision you made. I'm simply glad that you made me happy… because you did it. Whatever it finished, it was worth that time and much, much more. Thank you, my queen."
"Kunga… I failed it all…" She cried. She pointed on Taka, lying in the valley. "Look! All our sacrifices were taken in vain. Ahadi didn't change… I tamed him, controlled him, made him behave… but I never forced him to love our son."
"Our? Your and his?" Asked greymaned with light smile.
"After what I saw today, I prefer to say: our. Mine and yours. Is that all right with you?" Asked the queen.
"More than just right." Replied the rogue. "Perfect for me."
They stepped closer to each other, but Uru stopped. Kunga froze the same, seeing her indecisiveness. Her eyes were pleading him to stay where he was. Greymaned knew that if he would done another step, she would ran to him and kissed him passionately. She wanted, but she couldn't – her eyes told that. So Kunga backed a bit, smiling again.
"No, my queen, I won't demand from you things you can't give."
"I love you, Kunga." She reminded.
"I love you too, Uru." He replied. "And for that time there was no single lioness who could even try to dim your memory in my heart. But I understand that is the past. Sweet, but finished. However…" He added carefully. "You know, I'm living nearby, in Sahel Plains since almost two years. I'm close, if you decide that my help would be needed. Just send a message there."
"Thanks you."
"And of course, for incoming days I will stay here and make sure that Taka will make it." Assured her greymaned. "You can go back home, while I take care of him." His stare came down to her back-left thigh. "You shouldn't tire yourself too much. Is that…"
"Yeah, the same paw I stretched the day we met." Nodded Uru. "It never healed perfectly and up to date it is very sensitive to all injuries and even weather changes. But it's a sweet keepsake, whatever pain it brings." He understood.
"So take care, my beautiful." Replied.
"Am I still beautiful for you?" Asked Uru with half-ironic smile.
"It's very incorrect question." Explained Kunga. "Since the day I met you, I compare any lioness to you. What I call beauty, is simply resemblance to you. Or maybe you are what the beauty really is." Then added with quieter voice. "But now – go. Not make them worry in home. I promise to keep our son safe."
"Thank you, my mate." Said Uru. "I will always love you."
She turned back and started to go down. She should have been sad, but somehow she wasn't. The queen kept smiling, although in the same time tears were flowing down from her eyes. She realized that being happy could hurt. But it still was wonderful – she had everything she could ask Stars, with a perfect and loving mate above all else. Kunga was her forever, the rest was just a minor detail.
And greymaned was looking after his love, until he disappeared beyond Border River cliff. He considered to go after her and make sure she pass the river safely, but the level of water was low, due to hot weather. "She will be fine." Thought the rogue. "She is a queen of this land and I should remember that." So he just set off down the path to the bed of valley.
He went to Taka and checked him once again. The prince was heavily beaten, one could say 'mutilated', but his life was no longer in danger. "I see." Thought Kunga. "I'm taking care for him, as my dad took once after me. Then he taught me how to treat ones they need it. The Circle goes on, from father to son. The way it should be." He bended down and once again licked the worse wound on face of Taka. With relief he noticed that there were no inflammation. Eye hadn't been damaged in fight, but cut eyelid brought possibility of infection and running the eye in that way. Fortunately quick intervention of wise rogue prevented that. In fact if not help of Kunga, Taka would have been dead already.
"But don't worry." Said greymaned. "Your father is here to help."
The prince didn't hear that – he even didn't woke up from his unconscious state, but in his forced sleep he seemed to sense some friendly presence. He moaned, but not due to pain – due to relief. Kunga smiled – he turned out to be useful anyway.
However that still wasn't a 'happy ending'.
\/\/\/
That was very hard time for Uru. She lost her family – at least in some way. All of her beloved ones were alive, but not there. She sent Kunga away again, Taka was still on the exile. Mufasa and Ahadi were close, but it was very special kind of presence – the fake one. The queen loved her mate and son, but she just couldn't forget what they had done to Taka. Mufasa found his own way out of family conflict – he simply focused on Sarabi so much, that he learnt to ignore cold stare of his mother. However in time Ahadi become more and more aware of all wrongs he had done. Well, that sound fine, but changed nothing.
Uru stood that time only thanks to memory of Kunga. Her real, although never official mate was supporting her, even not being there. Even his recall let the queen strength to carry on her duties. Ahadi most likely knew that, but since the day when Taka was exiled, he never went back to that issue.
The queen also felt much weaker. Her old injure on leg started to interrupt firstly, then ache and finally made her really impaired. She couldn't run anymore and she even walk with clear effort. Rafiki (he just had replaced in office of shaman late Rastarian) simply couldn't believed that his monarchess stood these pains with so calm attitude. Mufasa seems to ignore mother's illness. Ahadi saw it, but he couldn't help.
"Does it hurt?" He asked one morning.
"Guess." Murmured Uru, standing up with clear effort.
"Uru…" Said the king. Suddenly his voice trailed to whisper. "I'm so sorry…"
"It doesn't hurt because of you." Noticed lioness.
"But you were in pain, because of me." Replied the ruler. "Uru, will you ever forgive me?"
"I have already forgiven what you did to me." She said after moment of thinking. "But you know, that there are some deeds that I can't forgive, as not I was hurt in the first place."
"I know… I will talk about it with Mufasa." Said Ahadi. "I love you, Uru. More than anyone on this word."
"Thank you, my king." Replied lioness and smiled.
But she didn't say she loved him – she had a inborn despise towards lying. Ahadi clenched his jaws, almost biting his tongue off. The worst thing was that he deserved for that… Or no – he even didn't deserve for so loyal and helpful mate, to say nothing about being love. And it was all his fault.
He made his decision. He stood up and exited the cave. With every step he felt lighter and lighter, so he started to run finally. He was speeding due north with one, clear thought in his mind. "I don't have to talk with Mufasa, I am the king and I can do whatever…" He stopped, shocked by own blindness. "No, I can't. I have to do what I should, as a king and father. But I must calm down. I will go there, find Taka and ask him to forgive me. Whatever he decide, I will change my sentence. Stars, help me!"
He set off to further run, lighter with unspeakable burden that disappeared from his heart. But as spiritual masses ceased, the physical ones were still there. When he tripped, he lost his balance and fall down on small cliff of one of Gorge River tributary ravines. He hit the rocky bottom, yelling out of pain. He drifted out.
When he regained his senses, he realized he was dead, namely was sent to hell and started to receive a punishment from paws of creatures he once hurt. Kunga was looking on him with angry grimace, apparently thinking how to make his enemy suffer more. The king could understand him. He whispered.
"Go on… I deserved to be damned like that."
"Crap!" Snorted the rogue. "He is delirious."
And then Ahadi understood that what he had taken as an expression of anger, was just a grimace of anxiety. Greymaned wanted to help him! The king was alive and Kunga brought there some herbs to kill the pain and then was examining in search for wounds and fractures. Pridelands monarch didn't understand that.
"Why?" He asked.
"I should know?" Yelled greymaned. "You fell, not me."
"Why are you helping me?"
"Oh, you mean that." Smiled the rogue. "I don't know actually. Maybe because Uru once loved you? Maybe, because you are Taka's father… Please, don't make me look for a motif, because I might find none." Then he stepped back and added with physician's tone. "You are in terrible shape, but I think that carrying you home is necessary. That might move some bone shards, but by giving you professional care, they could…"
And then he stopped. Lion looked back to see a lone silhouette, entering the ravine, apparently looking for something. Or someone. Ahadi was drifting away, but then he looked on Kunga. Their stares met and they exchanged similar thoughts. It was Taka, searching for his biological father. The king had more than one guardian angel.
"I will leave you to him." Said greymaned to fainting lion. "I prefer not to be seen. But he will do anything to save you. I'm sure of that."
"Wait…" Wanted to call Ahadi. He wished to stop the rogue, make him help to reconcile with son. But greymaned already hid in the crack of ravine and the monarch of Pridelands lost all his awareness.
"My king…" Said Taka, noticing Ahadi. "Damn it!"
\/\/\/
Ahadi was taken to Priderock, but Taka haven't even entered the cave. As soon he met Sarafina, he let his king to her and ran back to the border. He was obeying the royal sentence, at least in a way he could. So he never learned that his biological father tried to reconciled with him. I hope that spirits of our ancestors did, and Ahadi is among them now.
Uru discovered it few days after. She saw tracks of two lions she loved, so close to place where Ahadi fell. Seeing that she cried even more than seeing her royal mate dead.
