N: Happy Holidays! It's a short update, a little drama but nothing too crazy. It will all right itself soon, i had a hell of a time writing this due to a injury to my left hand. Yeah 2016 has been a greaaaattt year. Anyways, read on, and this starts with Bo POV and switches...so yeah.
I woke up with one thought in my head, cough medicine is a godsend. I felt immensely better than I had hobbling around my house, and the last coughing fit I had in Lauren's kitchen, was now a distant memory. I had wanted to spend more time with her, but that episode had her escorting me to the guest bedroom, loading me up on cough syrup and tucking me into the fluffiest bed I'd ever met.
I was now laying on my back, staring at the exposed wooden beams in the ceiling. I could already tell I was in a very old, yet well taken care of home. I wanted to get up, but was testing my lungs to see if they were ready to rebel the second I exerted an ounce of energy. After fifteen minutes of laying very still, I took a chance, and rolled to sit up on the edge of the bed. I took one deep breath in, relieved when I only coughed a tiny bit. I still felt like a truck ran over me, backed up, and ran over me again, but I was much better than yesterday. I smiled sheepishly, maybe being in Lauren's house had something to do with the giddy, warm feeling hovering around the bottom of my stomach. I shook it off and looked around the room I was in. It was huge, almost the size of the living room and kitchen in the studio house, and it echoed old English style. Dark woods, light colored walls, and built in bookshelves lining the walls. The only interruption were the huge lead glass windows that brought in warm, yellow light to touch the end of the massive bed I was in. The room was bare from decoration, aside from stacks of boxes in one corner. "This is what it's like to be really successful." I whispered the words. I had once come very close to this kind of success, and pissed it all away driven by exhaustion and ego. Now sitting in this room, it left me thinking what if. A lot of what if's. But I quickly shook them off when every what if lead me away from this moment, these moments, that had me in Lauren's house. Had me in her house and hopefully finding her soon and re-doing that first kiss.
I grinned out of nowhere, feeling my cheeks burn with embarrassment. That kiss, it was pretty great. Even though I was a walking ground zero for the plague and had certainly infected Lauren, it was better than all of the kisses I had in my life. Leaving me definitely wanting more.
Letting out a slow breath, testing the plague once more before I got to my feet and walked across the cool wooden floors, huddling up in a thick sweatshirt that wasn't mine, and went to the windows. Even the view was spectacular. The lush greenery dotted with a brushing of snow, painted a picture exactly like those fancy puzzles my grandmother used to work on during the winter. I sighed, this felt like a hazy dream, everything was so perfect. And I had learned through the years, nothing that looked perfect was ever perfect.
I pressed my forehead against the cool glass, enjoying the way it felt against my warm skin. I knew I had to be careful, careful with Lauren and careful with whatever this was growing between us. I could see the skittishness in her eyes, the fear, and the doubt when I spoke about my feelings for her. All of it was the truth, deep truths I had been sitting on for years, but I had to be careful. Lauren was precious to me and I didn't want to lose her out of haste, or being too comfortable.
I lifted my head from the window, looking towards the large wooden door, hearing Lauren's voice muted behind it. I then recognized Effy's voice as the two talked about work, filming schedules and upcoming press. I stood frozen, wondering if Effy knew I was here, if anyone knew I was in this house with Lauren. As it stood, everyone thought Lauren hated me, so it would be interesting gossip to find me bundled up in her bed, and probably her clothes. I sighed again, closing my eyes. Then there was Wynn. The sweetest man I'd met in ages, and I was about to destroy his hear. Lauren had been right, he was in love with me. I could see it in his eyes as he begged for me to let him take care of me. Begged me to talk to him, and answer his request to take me out to dinner on break and then meet his parents. I had been terrible in regards to paying attention to Wynn when he fawned over me, too busy staring past him at Lauren and Gillian, or just Lauren. He was a shadow, a shield for me to hide behind as I dealt with the feelings growing for my director. Maybe I enjoyed the safety he provided me, keeping me confident, and that I could actually play this role of a lifetime. Whatever it was, I had made a new mess and it was going to destroy him when I finally sat him down and told him I wasn't interested. I would have to do that soon, more so if things progressed with Lauren.
I pushed away from the windows, walking towards the closet next to the bathroom. I needed to find some fresh clothes to change into after I took a very hot shower, I couldn't remember if any of mine was packed into that torn grocery bag Lauren had in her hand as she buttoned me up, and swept me into her car. I had glimpsed a few old shirts on a shelf when I got out of the bed, maybe one would fit.
As I walked past the pile of boxes, something caught my eye, drawing my attention to look inside. In the box closest to me, there was a stack of notebooks, sketchbooks and on top was a picture of my younger self. My youthful eyes staring back at me as I was covered in the heavy makeup Samira wore on my silly science fiction show. I smiled, reaching in and lifting up the framed photograph. It was three lifetimes ago when I did this head shot for the promotional department. I ran my hand over my face, stopping right at my own horrible handwriting. "To Lauren, I wish only the best for you. With love, Bo Dennis."
I felt my stomach drop as flashes of that day I met Lauren, struck like lightning. "What I wouldn't give to go back in time."
"I think if you did, we both would've had very different lives." Lauren's voice was soft as she entered the room.
I spun around, clutching the frame to my chest, my face a bright red from being caught. "Maybe, but I'd still like to go back and apologize."
Lauren smiled softly, walking towards the bed with her arms full of black clothing boxes. She set them down on the bed, placing her hands on her hips. "I think if you did apologize to me, I would've never built the driving work ethic I did." She looked over at me. "I wouldn't have the success I have now, and I'm pretty sure you and I wouldn't have worked out for very long." She shrugged, smiling. "You know the whole nobody dating a super star stigma? We'd have divorced in a few years and probably still end up where we both are now."
I gave her a look. "Divorced? Are you suggesting we would've married?"
Lauren tilted her head down, nodding as she pointed towards the boxes. "I had Effy get you some new clothes. I forgot a critical item when I whisked you away. Clean underwear."
Lauren was avoiding the question I brought up. I avoided it to, for now, I didn't want to press. Careful. I had to be careful. "Clean underwear is a critical detail." I coughed lightly, making the frame in my arms creak.
Lauren took a few steps towards me, concern all over her face. "How are you feeling?"
I waved her off. "Better. Good. The drugs are doing their job." I waved at the bed. "I just woke up, went to try and find you, when I heard you and Effy outside. So, I." I held up the frame, setting it back into the box. "Decided to snoop on the way to the bathroom." I smiled softly. "I'm not going to lie in your house."
Lauren smiled, taking the last few steps between us. "You should feel better, you've been asleep for the entire day, it's almost dinner time." Lauren winked at me. "All of my deep secrets are locked in my bedroom. This is just old stuff my mother shipped out of her basement when I told her I bought this house." Lauren leaned over, looking in the box. "She figured now that I have two houses, I have more than enough room to keep my junk, and free up her basement."
"It doesn't look like junk to me."
"It's junk. Trust me. All of my terrible stories, first screenplays, set drawings, and all that garbage." She glanced at me, reaching down and picking up the frame I had set back. "This, this was a prized possession of mine for a very long time. It sat above my writing desk, my inspiration, my admittedly angry inspiration, to write. Write and write until I could stand I front of you and say, ha! I beat you!" Lauren's face scrunched up. "I'm sorry Bo, I shouldn't be telling you this."
I shook my head, grabbing her wrist and pulling her closer to me. "Yes, you should. Because it's a part of you, parts of you that I want to know about. Learn, cherish and love." I tipped my head down. "I need to stop telling you I love you like a love-struck teen."
Lauren's hand fell to the side of my face, gently lifting it to force me to look at her. "Don't stop. Every time you say it, I can see you mean it more than the last time you said it." She smiled, running her thumb across my skin. "It gives me confidence. More confidence than you can ever imagine."
I leaned forward to kiss her when a nagging cough squeaked out, forcing me to take a step back. I was still very sick and didn't want to kiss Lauren and not feel it, taste it. "I should shower." I stepped out of her touch. "You mentioned dinner?"
Lauren smiled, finally, and I soaked it up. It was rare to see the blonde smile like she was, but when she did, I memorized it. "I did. Effy is arranging that right now. I wanted to drop off the clothes, see how you were doing and then maybe ask you to have dinner with me?"
I grinned, Lauren was such a awkward romantic, but a true romantic. "Of course I will have dinner with you."
Lauren's smile turned into a huge grin, her cheeks pinking up. "Perfect. I hope you like whatever take out Effy decided on. I'm a hopeless and lazy chef." Lauren tucked her hands into her jean pockets. "I'll see you in my den in say a half hour?"
I nodded, then paused as Lauren went to leave the room. "Where is your den?"
Lauren chuckled. "Take the first left out of this room, go to the end of the hall, turn right, go down the stairs and it will be the first room on the left." She winked at me. "I can draw you a map if you'd like."
I shook my head, enjoying this silly side of Lauren. "I think I got. Left, end of hall, right, down the stairs and first room on the left?"
Lauren laughed, nodding her head as she walked out of the room. "You've got it, Bo. I'll see you soon."
I let out a slow breath when the door shut behind her, and walked to the black boxes. Opening them up, I found a variety of clothing all in my size. That's when I smiled, Effy had been to my trailer and pulled some of my extra clothes out of it. The only thing that was brand new was the box full of underwear. A note on top in Effy's handwriting.
-Every gal needs new underwear when taking on a new adventure. Don't tell Lauren, she thinks I rummaged through your unmentionables. Good luck, Bo. Lauren is worth the fight, the hassle, the headache, the stomach aches, and the never ending heartburn. Xox Effy. –
I laughed out loud in the empty room, I knew Effy would know about Lauren and I. She was observant and I knew she was hiding around the corner that day in the barn. I didn't care that she knew, she was a very trusted friend of Lauren's and would never betray that loyalty. I smiled as I grabbed the new underwear, my old shirts and sweatpants, and shuffled off to the bathroom, where another surprised awaited me. One of those giant, multi shower head showers the size of a small car. I grinned with excitement, coughing as I turned the shower on and let the steam fill the room and ease the ache in my lungs.
Today might just be a good day.
XXX
"Is this pacing thing new? Or what, Lauren." Effy stood against the kitchen island, watching me pace back and forth. "I've never seen you so visibly…mobile with distress."
I ran both of my hands through my hair. "It's not new, I just never do it in front of anyone." I closed my eyes as I circled back, pacing the length of the island. "I'm nervous. Beyond first day of school, first red carpet, and first everything nervous." I glanced at the woman, watching with her eyes and giving me a look. "I never act on spontaneity and yet, I've kidnapped Bo. She's wearing my sweatshirt." I pointed at Effy. "Which I think is your doing, when I asked you to check on her."
"She was shivering, it was close by." Effy held her hands up in defense. "Did you want me to let the poor girl shiver to death?" A tiny smirk covered her face.
I paused, swinging around to face my assistant. "You could have turned on the heated blanket I laid over her." I let out a sigh. "She found my box of Boston crap. The autographed picture of her that I stupidly explained became my totem of hate motivation."
"Well done." She smiled as I shot her a dirty look. "Relax Lauren. The girl would probably take a sucker punch from you and stand there with a smile, anything as long as she was next to you." She slid a cold bottle of cherry coke my way. "Everything is fine. I saw nothing out of place when I collected her things from the trailer. No one was around, just the other crews for that science fiction flick filming next to us."
I snatched the bottle up, taking a large sip. "What about Gillian?"
"She's also heard nothing. She said the cast only brought up Bo in pure care and concern. Wynn showed up late to the cast outing, happy but concerned his lady was at home alone. And no one said a negative, or suspicious word about you. All is very well in the village, so relax, and focus on being with Bo." Effy walked around the island and patted my shoulder. "I'm going to pop off and grab dinner for you two, in the meantime, relax. Relax and relax a little more after that."
I sighed, shaking my head as if it was the impossible, waving Effy off as she trotted out of the back door. "Relax, how can I relax around Bo?"
"I can tell a few bad dad jokes? That usually cuts the tension."
I turned to see Bo entering the kitchen, wearing sweatpants and a very old World's Unknown cast zip up hoody. I smiled awkwardly. "Sorry, I tend to talk out loud when I think I'm alone." I also took noticed she was fresh out of the shower, and her natural beauty was incredible, making me swallow hard. "I'm nervous, because I realized I might have kidnapped you."
Bo shrugged, walking towards me. "It's not kidnapping if you go willingly." She smiled, reaching out to find my hand. "Now, why can't you relax around me? Is it because I'm a walking disease? Or what? I want you to be honest Lauren."
I stared in her big brown eyes, begging for me to be truthful, that she was as nervous as I was. I waited a moment before speaking. "I guess it's because my past feelings for you creep up at the worst moments, or in the middle of the perfect moments and my stupid speaks for me." I looked down at her hand. "What I said in the bedroom, I didn't mean it, Bo. I care for you deeply, I want you here, and I want to see what comes next, but."
"But it's hard, because I hurt you so deeply." Bo squeezed my hand, sniffling before wiping her nose with a tissue. "I don't, and won't take anything to heart in regards to your past. I want you to get it out, tell me the truth."
I frowned slightly. "Bo."
She shook her head, grinning. "A woman who still hated me wouldn't have shown up at my door with soup, take care of me, then kidnap me to her majestic castle, and be here." She reached up, running her hand down the side of my face. "And I see it in your eyes, the true way you feel about me. It will always betray the words you speak." Bo leaned forward, kissing me softly on the cheek. "Now, tell me something about yourself. Something no one else would know, Bea Arthur me up."
I rolled my eyes, smiling as I pulled Bo closer, wrapping her up in a warm hug. "Effy will be back in a few minutes with our dinner, I only have time for a quick embarrassing story."
Bo pressed her hands against my back before leaning out of my arms. "Let's start with one, then maybe I'll tell you about the time I fell down the backstage stairs at the Emmy's, ripping the arm off of George Clooney's tux."
I grinned. "That was you? I remember him telling me that story a few years ago, but. That was you?" I laughed as Bo nodded sheepishly. "Well, I need to hear your side, so I guess I'll share a story. My first Academy awards, I ditched all of the after parties to take a cab to the library I spent all of my life in when I moved to Los Angeles. It was the only place I could have quiet and write, with working internet. I took the Oscar statue and hid it up on a shelf in the reference section, and taped a note on the bottom. Telling whoever found this, could keep it, and use it as inspiration knowing if the chubby kid from Boston could do it, anyone can do it."
Bo smiled, tilted her head. "You left your first academy award in an old library? Like if we went back, would it still be there?"
I nodded. "Probably." I then held up a finger as Bo went to say something about how ridiculous it was to leave such a precious award in a public place. "It was the fake one they give everyone before they engrave and send you the real one. But, the point of the story is still real. I wanted to inspire someone like I had been inspired." I looked down into Bo's eyes. "Like you inspired me."
Bo's eyes welled up, reaching up to hold the sides of my face. "Lauren, that story is amazing." She rolled her eyes softly. "Not as great as my Bea Arthur story, but pretty good."
I frowned, pinching her side playfully, making her laugh. "I love the sound of your laugh, Bo." I leaned forward, kissing her soundly on the lips without giving her a chance to back away. I could give two shits about her being sick, I honestly never got sick, and I had been craving to kiss her since I spotted her in the guest bedroom.
Bo responded, pressing against my mouth, grabbing my hips and pulling me deeper into her body, causing me to moan at the sensation of being so close. This hum between Bo and I was so much stronger than anything I had with Gillian, or anyone else. It was consuming and made me feel alive, alive like the young me. It was like Bo was time traveling and giving me back all the things I thought I lost when she broke my heart seven years ago.
I pushed Bo back until the island stopped us, and the gentle kiss started to grow in passion, need, and we were on the verge of unabashedly making out when I heard the very familiar sound of Gillian clearing her throat. Bo broke from me, covering her face with her hands and turning away as I scowled at the red head. "Do you knock?"
Gillian shook her head, not at all amused. "I did, then Effy let me in after I showed her this."
Effy appeared on cue, holding bags of carry out and a panicked look on her face. "Sorry Lauren, I told her to wait for me to introduce her, then she showed me the tabloids."
I furrowed my brow. "The tabloids? What do you mean?"
Gillian tossed the magazine on to the counter, the hearty slap startling me. She pointed at the cover. "You have rat in the midst of the crew, or Wynn the wonder boy is blabbing. But this is a morning away from being all over the entertainment sites."
I picked up the magazine, my jaw clenching at the bold headline reading WYNN EDGAR AND HIS MYSTERIOUS NEW LOVE CAUGHT ON SET. RUMORS HAVE IT, MARRIAGE IS ON THE HORIZON!
There was a picture of Bo and Wynn walking arm and arm around the set trailers, Bo was looking up at Wynn in a way that would provide plenty of fodder for paparazzi. The picture was taken two days before she confronted me in the barn. I threw the magazine down. "It's a picture, big deal."
Gillian snatched it up, flipping open the cover and jabbing her finger at the article. "The big deal is the exclusive interview of a anonymous crew member. Saying they've never seen Wynn so smitten, and Bo equally as smitten. They also mention your shitty attitude towards Bo, spiking interest that you have a crush on Bo and you're determined to sabotage their relationship." She jabbed at another article. "This is a picture of you standing outside of Bo's door yesterday, you're resting angry face giving them reason that this set is a hotbed of drama." Gillian folded her arms across her chest. "Never mind the fact I have Wynn the wonder blowing up my phone, asking me where Bo is and what I know about you and her." She glanced at Bo who was pale faced, still covering her mouth with a hand. "This is about to get dirty, Lauren. I've already had to chase paps away from my front door, questioning me about all this mess."
"Shit." I clenched my jaw. "Shit." I looked back over at Bo. "Did you know anything about this? What did you and Wynn talk about when he came to your door yesterday? Are you and him in on this? A little career boost at my benefit?" I had a sinking feeling, and couldn't resist asking. I hated the paparazzi and hated when my life was splashed around for the world to see.
Bo's face dropped, her eyes filling with anger. "You really think that I'd do anything like this? Leak bullshit gossip about a relationship that doesn't exist? He's my friend, Lauren. Nothing more. And what I told him at my door yesterday was that I had fallen in love with someone else, and that I would tell him all about it when I felt better." She glared at me with blurry eyes. "He was hurt, but understood, saying he had seen it in my eyes that I was in love." She backed up away from me. "I told you I would never hurt you again, Lauren, no matter what. Even when I heard shitty rumors you were the one who said no to me at that Spielberg audition. That I had it, but you were the final decision and you said no." She shook her head as Effy gasped in awe and Gillian raised her eyebrows at me. Bo walked over to the magazine, grabbing it and tearing it in half. "This is all lies, more lies to keep us apart and if you want to believe this, fine. But I think it's just another excuse for you to keep more distance between us. I love you, Lauren." She sniffled, throwing her hands up in defeat. "I love you and I would never do anything to ruin this last chance I have."
Bo spun around and ran out of the kitchen, crying. I didn't follow, frozen in my own stupidity, until I felt Gillian's hand on my arm, turning me to face her. Green eyes piercing mine. "Before I shove you off to chase after your girl, did you real muck up her chance for that Spielberg film?"
I shook my head, tears running down my eyes. "No, never. I actually put her in the top five choices, and he went with number three. As much as I hated her then, I still…loved her too much to hurt her." I bent my head down, tears rushing down my cheeks as Gillian patted my shoulder. "I'm never going to get this right."
"Yes, you are." Gillian shoved me gently. "You have to trust that woman, and stop caring about the world around you." She glanced at Effy. "We will take care of the tabloids, go apologize to Bo and figure out how to love her like you do. I think she ran off in the direction of your bedroom, probably lost and tangled up in the maze of hallways this house holds."
I sighed closing my eyes as Gillian physically turned me around, kicking me in the ass to send me after Bo. I swallowed hard, I was making mistake after mistake, always searching for a reason not to love Bo, only to find that I loved her more than I could talk myself out of.
Now I just had to finally tell her that, before I did lose her.
