Falco: (Looking at the title) Nightmare? What's so bad about Hyrule that I wont like?
Ty: You'll see
Falco: Hopefully it wont be too bad
Ty: It wont be bad for Roy or Jake. You? Probably
Falco: That's REALLY great to know. Ill kill you one day
Ty: It didn't bother me when Samus said it, it wont bother me when you say it
Falco: Moron
Ty: Stick and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me
Falco: Really know? (Falco threw a paper ball, with the word "Moron" written on it, at Ty's eye)
Ty: Ow. That hurt
Falco: And you said words cant hurt you
Ty: Im gonna start the chapter before I have to seriously maim Falco
Falco: Like you could… (Falco stared at Ty who had just taken out a giant taser) AAAHHH
Ty: FRIED CHICKEN TIME (Note: Has Twilight Princess spoilers)
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE BATTERIES" Falco was pounding his head on the counter in Telma's bar.
"I told you before I don't even have a clue what a battery is. Is it some kind of drink?"
Jake patted Falco's back "Falco, I told you they don't have electronics in Hyrule. Sorry about my friend Miss Telma. Here's some money for three drinks"
"Comin right up, hun" Telma went to the back of the bar to get drinks for Jake, Falco, and Roy
"Man, Im thirsty. Thanks for getting us drinks Jake"
"You're welcome Roy. After we get our drinks we need to try to find info on the Orb of Renkin piece here"
"Orb of Renkin?" An elderly man walked up to the Smashers
Jake looked at the man in surprise "Do you know of it, sir?"
"I have heard tales of it. Im sorry, I haven't introduced myself yet. I am Auru."
"My name is Jake. The crying bird man is Falco, and the red haired teen is Roy"
"Nice to meet you three. The others are…"
"Here are your drinks boys" Telma walked to the counter and gave the Smashers their drinks "Sorry. Was I interrupting something?"
"Nothing to worry about Telma. As I was saying, the others sitting at the table are Ashei and Shad. We are members of the resistance"
"Resistance?"
"Yes. We are trying to restore peace Hyrule"
"What's happening here?"
"We aren't exactly sure ourselves. All we know is that there is an evil presence somewhere. But enough about us, why are you looking for the Orb of Renkin and why should we tell you where the piece probably is"
"We're looking for the Orb because one of our friends had something terrible happen to her and…"
"We know Link" Roy was the one who said that. It's a good thing to
"Link? You are friends with Link"
"We sure are. Not trying to brag but I've beaten him a few times in sword fighting"
"Really? How can we be sure you know Link"
"How about you ask us questions about him. If we answer them wrong we'll leave. If we get them right, you tell us what you know about the Orb of Renkin"
"Fine. What color is Link's tunic?"
"Green"
"Correct. Where was the fifth dungeon Link went to here?"
"Snowpeak Ruins"
"Correct again. One more question and then we'll tell you what we know. Too bad you wont be able to answer this question though. How many Heart Pieces in Twilight Princess does Link need to get a full Heart Container?"
"That's breaking the fourth wall. That's not fair. Uh…is it 5?"
"That's correct! How did you know?"
"Link told me…I think. I wasn't sure so I guessed"
"Well you got the questions right so we'll tell you what we know now…which isn't much"
Jake and Falco patted Roy on the back "Good job Roy…Wait a minute, what do you mean you don't know much about the orb piece we're looking for"
"I said we'd tell you how much we knew. I never said how much we knew"
"Darn. So what do you know about the orb?"
"We think it's in either one of three different places. It's either in Arbiter's Ground, Temple of Time, or The City In The Sky"
"Looks like we're splitting up again guys. How do we get to these places?"
"To get to Arbiter's Ground you must use the cannon run by Falbi at Lake Hylia, same for The City in the Sky. For the Temple of Time, you must go past mountains near the Forest Temple. When you get there you may find Skull Kid. Follow him and he should get you the Temple of Time"
"Thank you Auru. Now who's going to where?"
Falco raised his hand "Ill go to Arbiter's Ground"
"Ill go to Temple of Time"
"And that means Im going to The City in the Sky" The three Smashers headed outside and walked toward a merchant on the street "Excuse me sir but do you have a map we can have"
"Have, no. Buy, yes"
"How much?"
"Either 1000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 rupees or… $2"
"Uh…okay" Jake handed the merchant 2 dollars and walked away
"He he he""Did you guys hear that?"
"It was probably the wind. Let's keep going"
"Okay. According to the map we need to East to get to Lake Hylia and Roy, you already know where the Forest Temple is so I don't need to tell you where to go, okay"
"Yeah"
After an hour of walking they reached Kakariko Village "Im not exactly sure we went the right way but I think we did"
"Did you read the map?"
"Yes. Im just not very good at reading maps"
"Give it to me then" Falco snatched the map and started looking over it "Lucky you, we went the right way" Falco then smacked the back of Jake's head
"He he he""There's that laugh again"
"If we hear it again THEN we'll go crazy okay"
"Sure. Let's buy some stuff before we go" The three Smashers entered the bomb shop "Uh oh"
"What's wrong, Jake?"
"Roy"
Roy was looking around the bomb shop "Boooooombs. Must…set…one…off"
"NO!" But it was to late. Roy had unsheathed his sword and lit the fuses of twenty bombs
Barnes, the owner, started screaming like a little girl "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! RUN AWAY!" Barnes ran out the door leaving the three Smashers alone in a shop full of bombs and twenty of them were about to explode
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" The three Smashers ran out of the shop right as it exploded. Time slowed down as the explosion sent the three Smashers flying across Kakariko Village, past the Ordon Spring and right into the middle of Ordon Village. Jake, Falco, and Roy all put out a tiny flame that was burning on the top of their heads "Thanks a lot Roy"
"You're welcome" Roy smiled dumbly at the annoyed Smshers
"He he he""Can we go crazy now, Falco?"
"Yes"
All together the three Smashers screamed. Luckily, all the villagers weren't around so they didn't hear them
"Who keeps laughing?"
"Why do you follow us?"
"Do you like pizza better than hamburgers?" Jake and Falco just stared at Roy
"Ill answer all three of your questions. Me, me, and yes." Roy's shadow started floating off the ground and taking a small shape
"We should a known this had something to do with Roy"
Roy's shadow now looked like a little girl demon wearing a broken helmet and having glowing orange hair, and her skin was black and white "It doesn't really have anything to do with your stupid friend here. It does have something to do with someone you three know though"
"And who would that be?"
"Link, of course. He helped me regain my throne in the Twilight Realm."
"Really now. What's your name?"
"The names Midna, Queen of the Twilight Realm"
"Shouldn't a queen be, you know, taller?"
Midna slapped Roy with her hair "I WAS taller there but here, Im short. Why, don't ask"
"Ow. Your hair turned into a hand and slapped me…YOUR HAIR TURNED INTO A HAND AND SLAPPED ME!"
"Yep. Why, once again, don't ask"
"So why are you here exactly?"
"For two reasons. One, there's an evil here Im gonna help you three take care of and two, the guy who stole my throne from me, came back after Link kinda killed him and escaped the Twilight Realm somehow, even though I sealed the entrance."
"How did you get here then and who took your throne from you?"
"The hole he escaped through was still open so I jumped through it. When I came out, I was short again, the rip hole disappeared, and he and the guy that escaped with him had disappeared. His name was Zant. Now enough about little old me, what about you three and how do you know Link?"
"Im Jake, the bird packed with heat is Falco, and the red headed idiotic pyromaniac is Roy. I don't know exactly know Link myself but they do"
"The three of us, Link, and many others, about 70 others, are in a group of super awesome people called the Smashers"
"Smashers, huh. Anyone else from Hyrule in your little group"
"There's Zelda, Ganondork, I mean Ganondorf, and…that's it actually"
"I know Zelda and Ganon. I hate Ganon, he's the one who helped Zant take over my kingdom, but he at least he's the one who killed Zant because when he died, so did Zant. He was the only way for Zant to die."
"Ganon isn't actually that bad once you get to know him. It's fun watching him go crazy when he loses to Kirby, a big pink marshmallow."
Midna laughed a bit "That helped my mood, thanks. Ill help you find that orb piece you need. Ill go with Jake to the Sky City. That place has a lot of hard enemies that you'll need my help with"
"Okay. Shall we go then?"
"Yeah"
"Bye Roy!" Falco and Jake pushed Roy the way he had to go
"Fine, dang. Don't have to be so pushy" Roy walked toward the Forest Temple so he could get to the Temple of Time
"Lucky him, he's so close to where he has to go. We have to walk another one or two hours till we get to Lake Hylia"
"Not with me you don't. Watch" Midna pointed her finger at a hole in the sky. Jake, Falco, and Midna all disappeared.
"Cannonball!" Jake did a, well, cannonball in to Lake Hylia while Falco fell on his stomach on a small island and Midna floated down "This lake is huge"
"Yep. There's where we're heading" Midna pointed to her right
"Ow" Midna's finger poked the eye of a small man that looked like he ran away from the circus "Why'd you poke me"
"Oops. Sorry about that"
"It's okay. But first, can you scrape that Rito that fell on my island off the ground"
"Hey, he's right. Falco does look like a Rito"
Falco peeled himself off the ground "Hey! What does that mean?"
"A Rito is a half bird half man race that lives in Hyrule"
"Oh"
Midna floated up to the man "Excuse me, sir, but don't you have a way for us to get to the Gerudo Desert and the Sky City"
"Yes I do, but please don't call me sir, just call me Falbi. Also, what are you exactly little lady"
"Me? Im a…9 year-old girl who painted her body black and white and her hair orange and likes to wear broken helmets"
"Hmm, okay then. That'll be 1047408291479128309735078277157124812043787093903275903579836498739847329847937498327834739827537 rupees or $5"
"I feel sorry for Link. Here you go Mr. Falbi" Jake handed Falbi five bucks
"You first, Rito" Falbi went over to his jack-in-the-box wind up panel while Falco walked up to the door
"Before you go Falco, I have to tell you something"
"What Jake?"
"You owe me 7 dollars"
"Ill pay you later" Falco entered past the door, which closed on his tail feathers "OW!" Falco then heard music and load clunking noises "WAIT! STOP!" It was too late. Falco was blasted out of the canon, losing half of his tail feathers, toward the Gerudo Desert
"Your turn boy"
"Wait. What about you Midna?"
"Don't worry about me" Midna dropped to the ground and became Jake's shadow
Jake, who turned on his Scanner eye, smiled at his shadow/Midna "That's a useful technique" Jake walked into the canon and got fired toward the sky
Ty: That was chapter nine, folks. Not much happened this chapter except reveal an ally and where the Smashers will be going during the next three chapters
Falco: Thanks for taking off my feathers idiot. I should sue y… momy (Falco was face to face with the taser from earlier. Ty pressed the taser against Falco's chest, causing all his feathers to burn and fall off)
Ty: Hey Bowser. Looked what I cooked for you
Bowser: What is it? (Bowser spotted Falco and he started drooling. What Bowser saw wasn't a naked Falco, it was a actually more like a chicken dinner) CHICKEN (Bowser charged at Falco)
Falco: AAAHHH! (Falco ran away from the food driven Bowser)
Ty: This has been fun but I must bid all you readers out there a fond farewell. Remember to review (You'll see why Hyrule is Falco's nightmare when we get to the Arbiter's Ground chapter)
