So, I apparently have a thing for ending chapters with mean cliffhangers. I guess you noticed, judging by the reviews I got for chapter 8. All that was missing were death threats. ;)
I hope putting up the next chapter relatively fast will make up for it. If not, the saccharine fluffiness of parts of it might do. And the fact that the end of this chapter isn't half as mean as the end of the last one.
Thanks for your continued support of this story and now enjoy the new chapter!
"It will be alright." Patrick reassures her on their way to the hospital, using the exact same words for the third time since she came out of the bathroom.
Unlike the two times before, Teresa's rising panic makes it impossible for her to share his fake optimism. She knows that he is as worried as she is, even though he tries his best to hide it for her sake. His pinched mouth and the way he clutches the steering wheel, his knuckles white from holding on too tightly, speak volumes.
"You don't know that." She whispers, both of her hands on her belly.
"No, but I feel it." He offers her a faint, genuine smile and she feels strangely calmed, more than a full-fledged smile would have been able to achieve. She is really glad to have him at her side in this very moment.
"It wasn't that much blood..." She says, an attempt to cheer herself and him up.
"See." He smiles at her again, encouragingly and tenderly. "And you feel the baby move."
"Not right now, but I did when I we sat at the kitchen table. And I don't feel any pain, so that's probably a good sign, right?"
He places his hand on hers when they have to stop at a red light and looks her straight in the eye. "It will be alright."
This time she doesn't argue. Maybe he is right. He probably is. He just must be right.
At the hospital, Patrick helps her out of the car and Teresa feels a little better when they enter the emergency room, hoping that all the doctors and fancy equipment in this place will be enough to help her and the baby. Her heart sinks though a little at the sight of the sour-faced woman behind the reception desk.
"Hi, my name is Teresa Lisbon. I called about 15 minutes ago."
The elderly nurse hardly even looks up from her apparently very fascinating paperwork, but at least she picks up the phone to call a doctor.
"Dr. Parker will be with you in a minute." She informs Teresa and then eyes Patrick suspiciously. "Is this the father?"
Teresa nods, wondering if the woman has an aversion for men in general or only for Patrick. Probably the first option, since her whole demeanor screams 'rancorous spinster'.
"Well, young men, make yourself useful and fill in those forms for me." She tells him, making it obvious that she deems him not very useful for anything else.
Teresa grabs Patrick's hand and squeezes it, sensing that he is on the edge of telling the nurse where she can stick those damn forms. Luckily at this moment another nurse and a young, female doctor approach them and Teresa is relieved to finally see some more friendly faces.
After a brief introduction and a quick exchange of pleasantries, Teresa is put into a wheelchair to bring her upstairs for a thorough checkup.
"He can come with me, right?" Teresa asks Dr. Parker with panic in her voice, pointing at Patrick who, under the stern look of Nurse Grumpy, fills in forms.
"Not before he is done here." The unkind nurse replies instead of the doctor.
Dr. Parker cringes at the harsh sound of the nurse's voice and Teresa notices that the doctor looks pretty intimidated. "It's hospital policy, sorry. He can join us later, okay?"
Teresa's eyes begin to fill with tears at the prospect of having to go through this alone. Patrick kneels down in front of her, taking her hands in his, and she immediately calms down.
"Can't you hypnotize her to be nicer, or something?" Teresa whispers.
"Impossible, I told you that people won't act against their true will when hypnotized. Besides, I'm afraid she's immune to any trick I could try. I hate leaving you alone, but I promise I'll escape as soon as possible to be with you. I guess it wouldn't help much to make a fuss and upset the old harridan even more, huh?" He conspiratorially tells her in a low voice, making her smile slightly.
As she is wheeled away, she looks over her shoulder back at him, trying to shake the feeling that everything might have changed for the worse when she sees him the next time.
She patiently endures endless tests, including a pelvic exam and a transvaginal ultrasound, and answers all the question the doctor asks her. The more time passes, the more anxious she gets. When she is finally lying alone in a room, plugged to a cardiotocograph to monitor the baby's heartbeat and to record uterine contractions, her patience runs out and the uncertainty almost makes her cry.
She desperately wants someone to tell her what is wrong with her baby, if anything is wrong at all. And she really, really needs Patrick to be with her. Seriously, how long does it take to fill in some stupid forms? When a nurse comes in to check on her, she can't take it any longer.
"My..."
Friend? Too platonic. Roomie? Geez, no. Child's father? Too impersonal. Oh, what the hell!
"... boyfriend..."
Much better.
"... is somewhere out there. Can you please find him for me? I really need him. His name is Patrick Jane. The last time I saw him he was held hostage by a nurse at the reception desk."
The young woman snickers. "Ah, Nurse Tanner. Poor guy. I'm transferring to another hospital by the end of the week, so I'm not afraid to stir her wrath." She winks at Teresa before leaving to room. "He'll be with you in a minute."
After what seems like an eternity, Patrick sticks his head in at the door. "Finally!"
"I'm sorry. She picked a fight because I forgot a dot over an i. This women is insane!" He exclaims, sitting down at the edge of the bed.
"How do you feel?" He places a gentle kiss on her forehead.
"Okay, I guess. Only going crazy from all the waiting."
"Did the doctor say anything yet?"
Before Teresa can reply, Dr. Parker enters the room. Her facial expression doesn't give away at all if she has good or bad news for them and Teresa nervously reaches for Patrick's hand.
"Let me have a quick look at the display screen and the printout and then we can talk." The doctor tells them.
Teresa and Patrick watch the doctor analyzing the data and taking notes, anxiously waiting for any sign to tell them what to expect.
"And?" Teresa finally blurts out, unable to bear the silence for one more second.
Finally the doctor looks up from her charts and papers. "This looks all very good."
"Really?" Teresa inquires, not yet ready to allow herself to hope.
"Yes. The heart rate of your baby is stable. You have some slight contractions, but that's not unusual at this point in your pregnancy."
"What about the bleeding?" Patrick chimes in.
The doctor smiles at both of them. "We can rule out any serious problem that can cause bleeding this late in the pregnancy. Especially, the placenta is intact and the cervix is still tightly closed. Those are always my main concerns when a woman comes here with bleeding during the third trimester. You really have no reason to worry."
"But something must have caused the bleeding, right?" Teresa still doesn't feel reassured completely.
"Did you recently have sexual intercourse?"
"No!" Patrick immediately answers for her, causing Teresa to look at him with raised eyebrows.
"No, right?" He asks, apparently waiting with bated breath for her reply.
She is very amused by his sudden display of insecurity. Seriously, how can he even think for a second that she's secretly sleeping with other guys while being pregnant with his baby? Besides, when would she do that since he is around her all the time? She rolls her eyes at him and notices a slight grin on Dr. Parker's lips when she turns to her to confirm that she indeed didn't have sex lately.
"Okay. When was your last vaginal exam, apart from the one I did today?" The doctor continues, still trying unsuccessfully to hide her grin.
"Just this morning. It was pretty unpleasant."
"It's not uncommon to experience slight bleeding after such an exam during pregnancy. Your cervix is very sensitive right now."
Teresa heaves a sigh of relief. "So that is it? I guess I overreacted a little then."
"No, it was absolutely right that you came here." The doctor reassures her. "Bleeding should always be taken seriously during pregnancy."
"So what happens next? Do we need to take any precautions? Does Teresa need bed rest for a while or anything?" Patrick asks, already in full overprotective mode again.
Teresa frowns. "I certainly don't need bed rest."
Luckily the doctor supports her protest. "No, she really doesn't. What do you work?"
"I do mainly desk work. Coordinating things and working at the computer."
"Okay, you can still do that. Just make sure to take a lot of breaks, eat and drink regularly and put your feet up once in a while. Don't overstrain yourself."
"We work together, I'll make sure she behaves." Patrick announces, making Teresa flinch and the doctor laugh.
"When is your next regular doctor's appointment?" Dr. Parker asks Teresa.
"In two weeks."
"Maybe you should make an earlier appointment. You will feel safer when you don't have to wait two weeks for the next checkup." The doctor suggests. "Also, I think it's best to refrain from sexual intercourse, at least for a while."
"No danger for that to happen anyway." Patrick mumbles under his breath, holding up his hands in defense when both Teresa and the doctor stare at him. "Just thinking out loud, don't mind me."
"Now, if you don't have any more questions, let me disconnect you from the monitor and then we'll do another ultrasound before you can go home. You'll feel more reassured by a visual of your healthy baby than any of my words can achieve."
A couple of minutes later, Teresa and Patrick excitedly watch their baby sticking his or her thumb into his or her mouth. Well, 'his' according to Patrick, while Teresa doesn't choose a preference.
"You don't know the sex of your baby yet?" Dr. Parker asks, after listening to their banter for a while.
They both shake their heads.
"I can tell you now, if you want."
"No."
"Yes."
Patrick incredulously studies Teresa's face for signs that she's joking. "You don't want to know?"
"I'm not really sure." She shrugs her shoulders. "I think I rather want to be surprised. In six weeks we'll know anyway."
"Really? You're not curious at all?"
Dr. Parker clears her throat. "Ehm, I'll be outside for a couple of minutes, telling the nurse to prepare your discharge papers and a report for your doctor."
"If you want, you can ask Dr. Parker to tell you confidentially." Teresa suggests when they are alone.
"No, either we both know or neither of us. I'm good at keeping secrets, but I couldn't guarantee to not accidentally reveal that one. You really don't want to know?" He looks at her with puppy dog eyes and Teresa feels her resolve crumble.
"Things will be much easier when we know if we get a boy or a girl." Patrick then tries to decoy her.
"How so?"
"Well, we then only have to agree on a name for a girl or boy, instead of both. Imagine how much time this will save." He does have a point there, Teresa has to admit. "And it will be much easier to choose a color for the baby's room. Plus, you can admire or mock me already today, depending on whether my hunch was correct or not."
She can't help smiling and his grin gets wider when he knows that he convinced her.
"So, who won?" Dr. Parker asks with a smirk when she comes back.
"Fine, tell us." Teresa says, trying her best to ignore Patrick's triumphant behavior.
She holds her breath while the doctor moves the probe over her belly and pelvis area, suddenly feeling very nervous. Patrick obviously experiences the same emotion as his hand covering hers starts feeling clammy.
"Here." Dr. Parker points at a spot on the screen." This is your baby's penis."
Patrick is grinning happily all the time when Dr. Parker removes the transmission gel from Teresa's belly, when she wishes them all the best for the remaining six weeks of the pregnancy and the time afterwards and when he and Teresa walk to the car. She lets him, enjoying his excitement about getting a son and about guessing correctly.
But then, on the drive home, she can't hold back any longer. It would contradict the essence of their relationship to not respond at all to Patrick's victory.
"Lucky guess." She murmurs. "You had a fifty-fifty chance, so it's not that impressive."
For the rest of the way they are both grinning.
When they arrive at home, the sun is just setting. Teresa feels exhausted and, after eating some fruits, goes up to her room. Leaving the door ajar to be able to wish Patrick good night when he comes upstairs, she settles down on her bed. Once alone, her hands stroking her belly, she starts thinking about the events of the day, about how scared she was to lose the baby. When her son avidly kicks against her palm, she loses it.
All the emotions she kept on the inside while spending endless hours at the hospital erupt at once. The anxiousness while waiting for clarity. The confusion when she discovered that she needs Patrick more than she so far realized. The immense relief after understanding that everything is fine. The tenderness after learning that she'll have a son.
She is unable to stop crying once she begins and it isn't until two arms wrap around her and Patrick's calm voice sinks in, that she even wants to stop.
"What happened? Are you in pain?" He scans her body for obvious, physical damage and still doesn't seem even a little bit relieved when he comes up empty.
"Teresa. Talk to me. Please." His voice is soft and she finally finds the strength to breath deeply and to wipe the tears from her eyes.
"It... it was just a little too much today." She admits. "One moment everything is fine and the next I'm so scared to lose our baby that I can't think of anything else. I don't know what I would do if anything would have happened to him."
He tenderly strokes her hair. "I know. I was scared, too."
"If I already am so worried before he's even born, how will it be later? I'll be the most overprotective mother ever. He'll hate me when he grows up."
"He won't hate you. You'll be a great mother." He reassures her, gently rubbing her back.
"How can you be so sure of that?" She sobs.
"Well, alone the fact that you're crying right now because you're afraid you won't be a good mother, is enough proof for me that you will be."
She knits her brows. "What kind of logic is that?"
"The famous Jane logic. It's always accurate." She can't help responding to his smile with one of her own.
"I think I'll be a little overprotective myself, after..." Patrick's voice trails off, but she knows that he is thinking about Anna and his inability to protect her.
"We need to find the right balance together." She gives his hand a quick squeeze. "We will love him, but we'll stop each other from being too overprotective."
Patrick eyes light up. "We need a signal."
"A signal?"
"Yes, a secret signal to stop each other from being too overprotective. We could pinch each other!"
She laughs. "Our skin will be studded with bruises in no time."
"Who cares, at least our son will be fine." Getting serious again, he puts his hands on her stomach. "Now that I made you laugh, do you think you can sleep? You need some rest."
The thought of him leaving her alone now doesn't sound that appealing for Teresa. She feels very close to him today and she also feels that she needs this closeness to calm down enough to actually fall asleep.
"Can you... maybe... sleep here tonight? I don't want to be alone." She reluctantly asks, biting her lower lip.
If he is surprised by her request, he doesn't show it. "Sure. I can get the mattress from my bed and place it on the floor right next to your bed, okay?"
This suggestion and his obvious consideration for her feelings behind it, touches her immensely. Apparently, all the months of keeping him at arm's length made him pretty cautious in dealing with her.
"That's not necessary, I think. You can sleep in my bed." She nonchalantly tells him, her heart skipping a beat when he smilingly slips under the covers next to her.
She should probably tell him that letting him sleep in her bed doesn't mean he'll never need his own bed anymore. But she keeps her mouth shut, discovering that at this point she isn't sure herself how their sleeping arrangements will be after tonight.
She shifts to lie on her left side to be able to look at him and he soon mirrors her position. His eyes sparkle in the dim light of the bedside lamp and she has trouble tearing her look away from them.
"Well, good night." She finally stammers. "I sleep on my right side, it's more comfortable for me lately. So don't be offended that I now turn my back on you."
He chuckles when she gets in her sleeping position and switches off the light. "No offense taken. Good night, Teresa."
She soon realizes that his presence doesn't help her to fall asleep at all. The contrary is the case. She listens to his breathing, trying to find out if he is still awake. Just as she contemplates if she should say something to him, he beats her to it. Typical. Of course he knows that she isn't asleep.
"Teresa?"
"Mmh?"
"How about Sullivan?"
"Sullivan?" She asks, confused by his choice of topic for a nightly chat.
"As a name, for our son."
She puts on the light again and turns around to face him. "Is there actually one of your ancestors whose name was not Patrick?"
"Unfortunately not." He laughs. "But there's a story behind the name. Are you too tired to hear it? It can wait until tomorrow if you are."
There's no way that she'll miss this now. "I'm all ears."
"It was a rainy autumn night." He begins, in a storyteller voice. "An extremely handsome blond man and a babelicious dark-haired woman arrived at her house after work."
She rolls her eyes. He can't be serious! "Babelicious?"
"Believe me, she was. Where was I?"
"The hunk and the babe, aka you and me, arrive at my house." She sarcastically reminds him.
"Right. It wasn't really surprising that she invited him up to her apartment, it's not the first time she did that. I mean, seriously, which woman could resist this extremely handsome blond man?"
Her hand playfully hits his upper arm. "Will you just tell the story?"
"Okay, okay. The rain was falling down on them as she looked for her keys to open the front door, but they didn't care. In fact, instead of just opening the door, she started kissing him..."
"You mean, he started kissing her without a warning and startled her enough to drop the keys."
"They started kissing each other before entering the building." He partly gives in. "They were drenched when they finally made it up to her apartment and she immediately began taking off her wet clothes, a view he thoroughly enjoyed."
"There is no Sullivan in this story, is there?" She asks, yawning.
"There is. My dear, you really need to improve your patience before that kid is born." He mockingly scolds her, grinning from ear to ear. "Before she got naked and turned him on in the process, she turned on the radio. Only for a few seconds, because she rather wanted to make out with the drop-dead gorgeous blond guy instead of listening to music."
"I did not!" Teresa protests. "The radio stopped working because of a power outage."
"Whatever. The song, however, was a song by Gilbert O'Sullivan." He triumphantly exclaims.
She meets his announcement with disbelief. "It was? It never ceases to amaze me how much capacity for useless information your brain has."
"I remember everything about that night, not only the useless stuff. I like to believe that this was the night when you got pregnant." His voice is tender now and she can feel that not only the tone between them is about to change.
"Why this one?" She asks, genuinely curious what makes this night stand out compared to the others they spent together.
"Because it was perfect. The sound of the rain against the window. Your face illuminated by the light of the candles that you set up after the power outage." His palm tenderly caresses her cheek. "Somehow it felt like we were the only people in the world, stranded on a deserted island. I watched you sleep for most of the night and by dawn I realized that I was able to love again."
Suddenly her heart is pounding in her chest and her mind is working on overdrive, trying to understand that he just - kind of, indirectly - told her that he loves her. She feels nervous, excited, scared and happy all at once. A lump forms in her throat and when she tries to say something, all she can produce is a weak croak. Not that she really knows how to put what she wants to tell him into words anyway, but she knows that she has to try.
"You should get some sleep. It's been a long day." Patrick suddenly tells her, seemingly oblivious to her inner struggle. As if. She knows that he must have noticed her weak attempt to respond to his confession, but he apparently decided for both of them that now is not the right time to continue that particular conversation.
Maybe he is right. She should probably sleep it over and polish her speech before speaking up. She turns off the light and rolls over to lie on her right side again. Unlike before, he now snuggles up to her and puts his arm around her. At least her body language sent the right message, even if her words failed her.
"I like the name Sullivan." She whispers in the dark.
She can feel him smile against her shoulder. "Me too."
"I'm glad you didn't choose Gilbert, I'd have to kick a guy with such bad taste in names out of my bed."
His laugh vibrates through her body when he embraces her even tighter. "You wouldn't dare."
No, she thinks that she probably wouldn't. His hand strokes her stomach in slow, lazy circles and this, in combination with the sound of his breathing, finally lulls her to sleep. The last thing she notices is his hand slipping under her shirt to rest directly on the skin of her belly for the night.
She doesn't mind, it feels like it belongs there.
