Yes! I finally got around to writing this episode! I had started it before I even wrote the Halloween episode but never had the time to finish it (Novel Writing Month and Finals and all). I'm hoping I can get ahead on chapters over the next couple of weeks though. Anyway, enjoy!
"Hey everybody! Welcome to The Daily Life of Organization XIII!" Roxas smiled at the camera. "I'm Roxas,"
"I'm Axel," Axel said while playfully elbowing his way into the shot.
"And I'm Xion," Xion flipped the camera to show her face.
"Got it memorized?"
"Today," Xion continued after readjusting the video camera, "We have a very special episode planned."
"Yup," Roxas interrupted, "Today we're going to have an Organization-wide cook-off!"
"Yes, they're actually serious…" Axel said under his breath.
"It took all week, but we were able to get everyone in the organization to agree to compete in a cook-off today!" Xion exclaimed excitedly.
"Except for Xemnas and Saïx, of course," Axel said. "You two do know this isn't going to end well, right?"
"Oh, stop worrying Axel! It'll be fun!" Xion laughed.
"No. No it won't. Do I really have to be a judge?"
"Anyway," Roxas said, ignoring Axel's question, "The cook-off will be held in the mission room-"
"Because that room's the only room in the house that has tile," Xion interrupted.
"Besides Vexen's room," Axel finished.
"Right. Me, Xion, and Axel will be the judges. And… who did you guys say was going to be the timer?"
"Moogle," Xion and Axel answered simultaneously.
"Oh, yeah. And the challenge is to make instant mac-and-cheese."
"Because Axel doesn't think anyone can screw that up."
"That's not what I said," Axel stated, already irritated. "I know for a fact they all can and probably will screw that up, I just think we have a better chance of not dying if we give them simpler foods to make."
At this, Moogle entered the room. "Kupo, kupo!"
"That's the signal, guys! Let's head over there." Xion opened the door and led the way down the hall. Axel complained about having to eat anything Demyx made until they reached the mission room door. Roxas pushed it open and Xion pushed Axel through. The mission room was already set up for the cook-off with portable cooking stations resting before each competing member's regular seat. The competitors: Xigbar, Xaldin, Vexen, Lexaeus, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene were already there. Zexion was there too; however, he sat high up in his regular seat reading from his lexicon.
Luxord leaned toward Xigbar, "Hey, I bet you five hundred munny I'll score higher than you."
"Pfft, yeah right."
"I'll bet you both one thousand munny that I'm going to win," Xaldin said.
Luxord cleared his throat nervously and Xigbar raised the eyebrow above his good eye. "Why? You never bet with us."
Xaldin shrugged, "I need more shaving cream and figure it shouldn't be too hard to make mac-and-cheese better than a blind old man and, well, Luxord."
Luxord and Xigbar exchanged a look. Luxord raised a fist and Xigbar bumped it. "You're on dreads, but we're working together," Xigbar said.
Xaldin shrugged again, "Suit yourselves. I doubt an alliance will raise your chances of defeating me."
Xion turned the camera away from the strange conversation and focused it up at Zexion. She zoomed in to see him clearly. "Hey, Zexion!"
Zexion lowered his book and looked down at Xion. "Yes," he sighed, almost too faintly to hear from the floor.
"Why don't you come and join the competition? It'll be fun!"
Zexion placed his lexicon on the armrest of his seat and stood to jump down. Halfway down he disappeared through the doors to darkness then reappeared through another behind Xion who spun to locate him just as he emerged with his arms crossed. "First off, I do not treat my time so uneconomically as to spend it on proceedings you three deem as 'fun', second, I do not recall an award being mentioned for the winner of this little competition and therefore feel no true motivation to compete in it, and finally, you are requesting that the contenders make instant macaroni and cheese. A dimwitted infant could make that, and honestly it is not even very good."
"You don't like mac-and-cheese?" Roxas must have walked up behind Xion at some point during the interview.
Zexion wrinkled his nose. "No. Are we done here? I was getting to a good part."
"Oh, yeah sorry," Xion mumbled as Zexion retreated through the doors to darkness and reappeared in his seat.
Roxas asked after he had gone, "Who doesn't like mac-and-cheese?"
"Zexion I guess. C'mon, we should go sit down."
Roxas and Xion made their way through the room to a long judging table set up in the center of the room. Axel already sat in the rightmost seat with his chair leaned precariously back and only stabilized by its two hind legs. "Finally you two get here." His chair smacked down as he sat up. "Are we ready to start or what?"
"Sure," Xion said and took her seat beside Roxas who sat in the center. "Moogle?"
"Kupo… Kupo!"
There was a moment of silence before Demyx asked, "Is that supposed to mean go?"
"Uh… probably," Roxas said.
Axel sighed. "Yes, now ready, set, go!"
Everyone turned on their stoves and grabbed for their boxes of mac-and cheese. Xigbar squinted at the instructions while Luxord grabbed a pan.
Xaldin chuckled as he grabbed a pot and filled it with the necessary amount of water.
Across the room, Demyx kept shouting at his stove for refusing to light, but when Xion zoomed in she noticed that the whole thing was doused in water from an overflowing pot.
Vexen was doing something weird with his already boiling, strangely-tinted water. He kept reaching for vials and beakers with his lab coat and tipped them into the pot. After a few miniature explosions he whipped out a pair of goggles and put them on. Xion caught Axel on camera fixated on Vexen's concoction and tapping his fingers nervously. After a few more seconds of staring he covered his eyes and muttered a few choice words about the web show.
Xion turned the camera to face Marluxia and Larxene. They were working separately but near each other. Marluxia hummed happily while he cooked and Larxene slammed things in frustration. An occasional spark flew from her fingers as she searched for who-knew-what and growled.
Xion turned the camera back to Xaldin who was adding the macaroni noodles to his pot and smiling victoriously over at Xigbar and Luxord. Xion focused the camera's attention at them and saw them arguing with each other over seasonings.
"We're not even there yet, it's not like we have to decide right now!"
"All I'm saying is that I don't think making such a gamble is the wisest way to victory."
"What happened to, 'you never know unless you choose to play the game'?"
"I think pepper is a stupid way to lose the game."
"Pepper is good, Luxord!"
"It's fine the way it is!"
"The water hasn't even started boiling yet. Can we just talk about this after we make the stupid thing?"
"I regret my alliance with you. I see now that you were merely another gamble in this competition and will only cost me more munny."
"Fine, then go back to your station."
"Fine, but I'm taking this with me," Luxord reached for the pot.
Xigbar swatted him away. "Nu-uh! This is my pot from my station. If you want to be your own team, then go start over!"
"I have done the majority of the work so far. It's only fair that I get the pot."
"Since when is gambling fair?"
"If it weren't for me you would never have made it past the directions!"
"Then here!" Xigbar threw a noodle at Luxord. "Now, go away!"
Xion turned the camera away before an all-out food fight broke out. She noticed Lexaeus for the first time placing something into the oven and setting a timer. His expression gave away nothing about what he was doing. He started cleaning up his station while he waited.
Xion turned the camera back to Demyx who was sneaking his soaked, malfunctioning station over towards Luxord and Xigbar. He swapped it with Luxord's unused one and hurried back to his spot to try again. The camera caught howls of frustration from Luxord over his sabotaged station at almost the exact same time Demyx flooded his new one.
Axel had his head down on the table at this point and kept muttering, "I knew it," to himself. After another few minutes of total chaos the camera was repositioned to show what Zexion was doing. He was perched in his seat, surveying the scene before him with his book lying untouched on the armrest. He shook his head in astonished superiority at what several of the other members were doing and eventually spotted Xion watching him. He frowned and disappeared through the suddenly appearing doors to darkness and reappeared before Xion. She had to zoom out to see him normally.
"I wish to join this endeavor after all. Someone needs to show them how to make proper macaroni and cheese."
"Oh, okay. Roxas?" The camera turned to look at Roxas who handed Zexion a box of macaroni and powdered cheese.
Axel looked up from his folded arms to say, "Better hurry. I don't think there's a lot of time left. Also, you probably want to get to your station before Demyx ruins it."
Zexion made a face at the ingredients in his hands. "Indeed." He left in the direction of his station and smacked Demyx away before he could swap his with it. Demyx whimpered and returned to his spot in defeat.
"Kupo!"
"Five minutes left," Axel translated unenthusiastically.
Larxene started shouting at her station while Marluxia added the finishing touches to his meal. Luxord and Xigbar were working together once again and bickering over who got to add the pepper. Xaldin looked finished as his macaroni was already on a plate. Demyx also looked finished and had a bowl sitting before him. Vexen was off at his station shouting, "It's alive!" and cackling. Lexaeus's timer rang and he donned a pair of organization-emblem oven mitts to retrieve his creation from the oven. Zexion was hurriedly stirring the macaroni into the still-heating water.
"Do I reserve the right to judge solely by appearance?" Axel looked at the camera.
"Of course not," Xion answered. "You're a judge, you have to taste all of the foods."
"But we should have some sort of bonus thing for presentation, right? What if I'm in charge of that while you two judge."
"Us two?" Xion sounded almost scared when she said it. "Oh, I thought I told you guys I was only the camera person this episode. I'm not eating any of that stuff…"
"That's not fair!"
"Wait a second," Roxas said, "You mean I'm the only one eating any of this stuff?!"
"No-"
Axel started laughing, "Looks like it!"
"But… wait…"
"You'll be fine, Roxas!" Axel clapped him on the back, "I believe in you, buddy."
"No-"
"Be strong, Roxas," Xion said.
"What am I? Some sort of guinea pig?!"
"Kupo!"
"Time!"
The members presented their dishes in the order of their organization number, making Xigbar first.
He and Luxord stepped forward and placed a plate of speckled macaroni and cheese in front of Roxas. Moogle handed Roxas a fork and floated off.
"Uhh…" Roxas grabbed the fork, "What are all the little spots?"
"Pepper," Xigbar answered.
"That much?" Axel leaned in and examined the plate while Luxord shot Xigbar a look.
"Yeah," Xigbar said nervously.
Axel shrugged and sat back. "Pretty. You get bonus points or whatever."
Xigbar smiled at Luxord and they both turned to smirk at Xaldin who pretended not to see.
Roxas took a bite. He coughed. "That's," he continued to cough for a while, "Really spicy."
"I knew it!" Luxord shoved Xigbar, "I told you it was a bad gamble."
"Next!" Axel cut off their argument early and Xaldin stepped forward.
"Try mine."
Axel and Roxas examined the plate. It looked like regular macaroni and cheese. Axel grabbed Roxas's fork and poked at a noodle. "Kind of boring, don't you think?"
Xaldin huffed, "Taste it before you judge it."
Roxas did.
"Well?"
"It's… alright."
"Aright?" Xaldin looked offended and Xigbar started laughing.
"Well, it's…"
"Hard as a rock," Axel spoke through a mouthful. He swallowed. "What? The kid was at a loss for words. Anyway, yeah this is pretty crunchy for mac-and-cheese. Sorry, Xaldin"
Xigbar and Luxord high-fived and Xaldin grit his teeth. "Wait! Who's was better? Mine was still better than theirs wasn't it?"
"Well…" Roxas looked between the two plates. "I guess by a little…"
"Ha!" Xaldin spun to look at the open-mouthed Luxord and Xigbar. "I win!"
"No!" Xigbar scrambled for words. "No, wait! You said you would bet us a thousand munny that you would win, not just beat us, but win! Unless you beat everyone else here, you still have to pay up, Crunchy!"
Xaldin growled and stood off to the side. "Fine, but I will win."
"Anyway," Axel shouted, "Next!"
Vexen gingerly placed a plate of fluorescent green macaroni in front of Roxas. He smiled creepily, "Try mine."
"Guys…"
"Interesting," Axel remarked with a nod. "Bonus points."
"Guys…!"
"Oh come now, Roxas. I assure you it's perfectly edible," Vexen said and nudged the plate forward with gloved hands. "Taste it."
Xion asked, "If it's safe then why are you wearing gloves?"
Vexen frowned and placed his hands behind his back. "They're my cooking gloves. Now try it!"
Axel crossed his arms, "Nu-uh. We want to see you try it first."
Vexen growled, "Fine!" He reached inside his coat and produced a scalpel. He dipped the tip of it into the 'cheese' and quickly touched his tongue to it, barely eating any. "There, see? Safe."
Roxas was staring uncertainly at the 'food' in front of him when Vexen's shoulder's suddenly slumped forward. Vexen gasped a few times and clawed at the air before he started shrinking.
"Nooo!" A high-pitched Vexen called out right before transforming into a goldfish and flopping about on the floor.
"I'll get it!" Demyx ran up and grabbed the tiny Vexen and dropped him into his bowl. "I've always wanted a pet!"
"Uh, Dem, are you sure that's safe?" Axel tried to peer over the lip of the bowl to see Fish-Vexen.
"Totally, all I made was water anyway." Demyx tilted the bowl down so the camera could look inside. It was a plastic cereal bowl filled with water and a few random pieces of plain macaroni.
"Alright then," Axel shrugged. "As long as nobody tells Saïx."
"Agreed," everyone said simultaneously.
"Awesome. Next!"
Roxas poked the strange plate away with his fork so Lexaeus could place his tray down. Inside sat a fancy, slightly breaded, hot and gooey pan of macaroni and cheese.
"Wow," Xion said.
"Bonus points," Axel nodded.
"This was instant?!" Roxas grabbed a forkful and ate it, fanning his mouth because of the heat before smiling. "Awesome!"
Xaldin cursed and handed Luxord and Xigbar a number of bills before storming out of the room. Lexaeus nodded once at the praise and stepped off to the side. Axel reached for Roxas's fork who turned towards Xion to block him with his shoulders. "I thought you weren't judging!"
"I changed my mind! Share!"
Zexion stepped up and cleared his throat to get the judges' attention. "Instant macaroni and cheese." He placed a plate of standard instant macaroni and cheese in front of Roxas.
Roxas looked sad to turn away from Lexaeus's dish, but did. He sampled Zexion's plate. "Mmm, tastes like-"
"Like it's supposed to," Zexion interrupted and shot a look at the members around him. "Now, if you'll excuse me I am going to resume my reading elsewhere." Zexion stepped through the doors to darkness and retrieved his book before stepping through again and disappearing.
"Yeah, it tastes like it usually does," Roxas agreed.
"Great. Skipping Saïx, skipping me, skipping Demyx, skipping Luxord, Marluxia? You're up."
Marluxia smiled and moved Zexion's plate aside to place his decorative platter of cold, rose petal-covered, cheese-less macaroni before Roxas. "Here, try my mac-and-cheese. Isn't it beautiful?"
"Where's the cheese?" Axel raised an eyebrow at the plate.
"Just macaroni then. Whatever. Try it."
"Well, you do get bonus points…" Axel muttered.
"Is this even edible?" Roxas had speared a piece of macaroni with his fork but was trying to shake off the petal that stuck with it.
"Of course. I cook with rose petals all the time."
Roxas shrugged and took a bite. He made an unpleasant expression while he chewed then swallowed. "Um, thanks Marluxia. That was really-"
"Terrible," Axel finished for him despite having not tasted any. "Next!"
Larxene passed the hysterical Marluxia and dropped her charred bowl of macaroni in front of Roxas. The contents did not even jolt with the movement.
Axel started cracking up. "Wow! Even I don't burn things that bad!"
Larxene snarled and grabbed the bowl. "Well then next time why don't you make it!" Axel anticipated the attack in time to jump up from his seat and dash around the table. He was almost to the door when he slipped in one of Demy's pools of water and fell to the floor right behind Marluxia. Larxene threw the rock-hard bowl of burnt macaroni and nailed Marluxia in the back of the head. He went down.
"Oh, Marluxia!" Larxene clapped her hands in front of her mouth, no longer angry. "I'm sorry!"
"PWND! Somebody add a tally to Marluxia's count!" Axel shouted and jumped up.
"Shut up, Hot-Head!" Larxene shoved past Axel to help up Marluxia and Xion turned the camera to look at Roxas. His head was against the table.
"Roxas? Hey, are you okay?"
"Don't… feel… good."
"Um…" The camera spun, quickly showing all the chaos in the room from the ill Roxas to the soaked floors, burning food, fish-Vexen, now-unconscious Marluxia, and strangely-colored vapors floating off from Vexen's station. It came to rest showing Xion's bewildered face. "That's all for this episode. I'm pretty sure Lexaeus won. Now I got to go help Roxas! Bye!"
It's been so long since I've written an episode! I hope this one turned out alright. (I still don't know how Axel became the moogle whisperer.) Anyway, please review!
