HOLY CRAP BOYS!

I'M BLACK FROM THE DEAD!

I know I'm absolutely trash at keeping up pace, but know that I am sorry.

And as always:

Enjoy!


"God DAMN IT WOMAN! Right now ain't the time to be doing this kind of stuff! Keep your composure and please make sure not to make such a commotion in the hall, please? Because, I... I of all people am tired of all the bullshit as of late..."

I said that to her face through gritted teeth, with her shirt collar in my right hand. I let go of her, and brushed myself off, seating myself once more.

"Anyways, please don't make such a commotion, other than that, please wait till the matches to duel me okay?"

She nodded swiftly and walked off, turning down her gaze as if she was already defeated. Thankfully, nobody heard what I said to her, as it was blatantly obvious that they were all in their own worlds. I stood up, took a breadstick or two, and up and left the dining hall, once again going through the seemingly endless maze towards my room. At about fifteen minutes, I finished the second breadstick that was just hanging from my mouth. I couldn't help that the tough fucking texture prevented me from eating it in a mere minute, but I decided to ignore it. Swallowing, I thought back on what I should do when I get back to the room.

Maybe when I get back, I should just eat the pork chop my pet pig gave me, or should I just grab out my laptop and listen to my playlist? Oh, what abou-

Just as I turned right, a figure tackled me straight to the floor and sent us both skidding across the seemingly over-polished floor. We skidded for a good 10 seconds or so until we hit a pillar further down the hallway. I looked down to the figure in my arms and found it was Val who had tackled me. I sighed and decided to confront her about the situation that we were in because obviously, she was up to something again.

"Val… Why did you tackle me?"

"Well… You refused to face me in a rematch and I decided the only way to convince you was to aggravate you towards doing so. Well… Did it work?"

"Well... You've managed to piss me off quite a bit, but not so much as to force my hand to take on your rematch or challenge you to a duel of my own. Oh, and also… Why would you bluntly tell someone your intentions? Like, that's the kind of thing that would dissuade an angry person from doing so."

"Aww…"

I couldn't help but sigh. I couldn't believe this was the woman who murdered everyone she encountered, endlessly teleporting to God knows where. She was so weird, like some kind of unattended nine-year-old… The more I thought on that subject, the more irritable I got. My eyebrow twitched in reaction as I simultaneously got up and tried to walk away before I punched her square in the jaw. I didn't want to hit a woman, because hitting a woman is unsightly and against human moral code, even though I've hit her before… Sorry, not sorry. This was the desired train of thought until she grabs on to my right leg like a four-year-old riding her father's leg. I looked down to meet her gaze, to see her failing to do puppy dog eyes.

"WHAT?"

"Well… Can we hang out?"

GOD DAMN THIS WOMAN IS BIPOLAR AS FUCK! My question is, of course, is why did THIS woman suddenly decide to ask me out all of a sudden? Like, please don't fucking make this a cliche fan fiction man… Do I need to cuss you out again Minecraftian gods? Because I will if I have to! I don't need this right now because right now I need to get the fuck out of your crappy ass world. God damn it man…

"Umm… Not right now, I'll think about it okay?"

"Okay!"

"Now would you please be as kind to release my leg this instant?"

As soon as I finished the sentence, her death vice grip released on my leg, and I didn't want to delay, so I sprinted towards my room in an instant. Not surprisingly, she tried to tackle me down once more so she could interrogate me, but I was a bit too quick for the titty girl over yonder. I can guess what y'all are thinking, 'Hey Jake! You ARE gay man!' or something along the lines of 'Damn man, he insists that he's not gay, but he sure has a mean dislike for women…' First of all, I didn't want to be associated with these mob princesses so I wouldn't start political tensions or some dumb shit like that. Secondly, that woman is just too immature for me, so… Well. Anyways, I started to write down some ground rules for myself, all the meanwhile jumping through the portal and I couldn't believe where I ended up. The room I ended up in was an exact copy of Cupa's room, and you could tell that it was because of all the fucking figurines lying about. I once again was caught in a trance as my body gasped for air from the shock of being in Cupa's room, the thought of dealing with all the princesses, and the excessive movement as of recent. I sat down on the bed and caught my breath, but as I came to, I realized I was STILL in Cupa's room. I tried to get out but as if by coincidence, the door spits out the one and only Cupa. I braced myself for what was about to come and guess what came? You guessed it! It was the look of a frightened and shocked woman, and I was not about to stay around and see how loud her screech is…

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT! GOTTA GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE MAN! GOTTA BE FAST AS FUCK BOY!

"IM SO SORRY!"

I shoved Cupa aside and opened the door as quickly as I could, and ran into the light it emitted as swiftly as humanly possible. I looked at the portal number and realized I over shot by three, as I was in room 108. Before I had even managed to realize my mistake, I had decided to hide in my room. I strode towards my room and jumped in the portal. Once I was spat out, I locked the door as to ensure I don't get hunted down with a curious or angry princess or group of princesses because there was nobody like me in the universe who hated social situations with a passion like I did. The struggle and stress went into my head, and I gave myself a good hour or so to think about things before I put myself to sleep.

Fucking Christ man…


Cupa's POV

I was so shocked to see Shadow, the man who everyone was talking about, inside my room, standing there seemingly getting ready to leave. As soon as my face started to turn red, Shadow pushed me aside and shouted out, "IM SO SORRY!" and darted out the door with supersonic speeds. I helped myself off the floor using the wall, and my face started to get hot wondering what he was doing in my room. But I had to hurry back, so I grabbed the spare shirt for Skelly and headed back towards the dining hall. I returned, and the whole room was staring at me because I had opened the doors a bit too loudly. Then they started to lean in closer as I soon realized I hadn't stopped blushing. I rushed to my seat and sat freely next to my group. The fact that the whole room was staring at me didn't help me stop blushing, in fact, it made me blush even harder. I looked around the room and could already see the dumb grins on a majority of my curious friends' faces. The first to break the silence in my group was Skelly. The fact that the life of the party was ironically indeed, the skeleton princess.

"So, what's up Cupa? Something the matter?"

"O-oh… Nothing really! Nothing!"

"So?"

"So?"

"The shirt?"

"Oh…"

I handed the spare shirt to Skelly, and she put it over her small gray vest. She then put her arms under her shirt and undid the zipper without looking down whatsoever. She then takes off the vest without revealing her you-know-what…

"What did you need that shirt for Skelly?"

"Umm…"

She blushes as she turns away, I couldn't tell what she was thinking because social cues weren't my forte. Once again, my friends picked up the hint and started teasing Skelly about something that I would probably care less about. I, in turn, was too preoccupied in my head thinking about Shadow in my room. Why was he there? When did he get in? What did he see? All the questions that could be asked flowed through my head, until I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned to see Hera and Val standing there, and one could assume that Hera read my mind. Despite that, Val decided to speak up first.

"Seems like you're thinking of Shadow."

Even though I knew it was coming, I still felt embarrassed, blood flowing into my cheeks at quite the rapid rate. I heard a chuckle from someone in my group, and I turned back to Val.

"Calm down… We haven't read your mind… Yet. Because the only reason you would be blushing is because of a boy, and we all know Rot and Talon aren't in our interests."

"Well… I-"

"So what happened with Shadow for you to be this shade of red?"

Thinking back on it made me even more embarrassed, even though I knew it wasn't that extravagant or embarrassing of an event. Shadow being in my room by accident wasn't embarrassing in the least, but the sheer THOUGHT of him being in the room embarrassed me. I just wanted to stop thinking, as my thoughts seemed to dig my grave just a bit deeper each time they came. Val once again snapped me out of my internal struggle as she spoke once again.

"Well… To be truthful, I may have accidentally spoken my mind a bit too quickly in front of shadow, and sort of asked him out."

Unluckily for her, she said that a tad bit too loud and you could feel the jaws drop from all the girls present except for a select few. I felt that it was my chance to leave, so I slipped through the commotion and headed back to my room. Once I made it into my room once again, I saw a little slip of paper on the floor and picked it up. I started to read it, soon realizing it was Shadow's.

Note to self:

Don't screw up monumentally in this world,

Don't die in this world

Don't try to hit on girls to prevent social tension

So Shadow's more on his guard than we thought… Well, I hope he is okay at least…

And with that, I drifted to sleep, with thoughts once again dancing in my head.


I woke up and boy, did I feel exposed not wearing Shadow's clothing, even though I was in my room all alone. I was wearing my casual clothing because I had never used pajamas in my life, so the question was: Why start now? I got up and looked at the copy of my room.

It looks like home, but it doesn't feel like home. Bruh, I wonder if I could start speaking a bit like the locals down back home? Nah, this ain't Hawaii, they'll probably think I'm dumb.

Once again, I sidetracked myself as I subconsciously started to put my clothes on. Today was the first event, and boy did I hope its capture the flag because your boy doesn't want to engage in death matches any day. I grabbed my shit and go the hell out of there. I looked at my watch and saw that it was around breakfast time, and headed down to the dining hall. As one would expect, everyone was already there, earlier than the human of course… I sat down by myself on a table and looked at the menu in my hands. There were your usual vanilla foods, and boy did that seem dull. I then decided to walk into the kitchen to see what it was all like, and boy was it weird. The kitchen was just full of shadows and floating kitchenware. I decided to grab some kitchenware for myself and started to occupy a spare table. Slapped down an iron pressure plate, which one would assume is like a frying pan, I then proceeded to put a point into Ember just to heat up this thing. I heat it up, and I cracked an egg, hoping it would give me a fry-able egg. And thankfully, God was on my side as an egg popped out onto the 'pan.' I cracked two more eggs, and just chilled for a bit as my sunny side up eggs cooked. I decided to grab a pork chop my pig pet made, and cut it into thin slices of bacon.

Holy shit, I'm SUPER thankful God was on my side because if I couldn't eat something different from the fucking usual vanilla foods, I would hang myself. Just one thought, however, I want spices and shit so I can up the flavor of my food. Damn, garlic salt and pepper sound good right about now.

I put the eggs onto a plate, still thankful the phantom chefs haven't seen me yet or approached me, and proceeded to put my bacon slices onto my pan. By the end of it, I walked out the kitchen with a plate full of bacon and eggs, eggs both scrambled and sunny side up. Once again, I took a seat at my booth and realized I had unconsciously grabbed my bag even though I only needed my staff for the competition. I decided that I could at least use the contents inside of my bag. There were still snacks, MREs, manga, and my laptop. I grabbed my laptop and untangled the black headphone cord wrapped around it. After I placed the headphones on my head, duh, and then I pressed shuffle on my Basics playlist. I ended up listening to Lovesong by The Cure, and I ate the eggs and bacon with the salt and pepper from my left over MRE condiments. As the guitar's final chord struck, and the three-minute song was fading into the next, I looked around the room to see everyone staring in my direction.


Present Day

"Wait… I've totally forgotten to tell everyone how the characters I meet sound like! Are you sure you're okay with that or like?"

"It's okay man, we may have a deal but we all make mistakes sometimes. Calm down, they already know what they sound like because they've lived together for quite a bit."

"But, what if there's like some weird divine being reading my story through one of their technological advancements?"

"Bruh, are you delusional? Just get on with the story, or I'll blow the place man."

"Oh… Okay…"

"Oh and also, should I keep doing conversations? Like, I'm not the best when it comes to doing so…"

"I don't give a shit, just go."

I shuffled myself into a better position even though I was tied up, and my captor was being somewhat friendly, which was really suspicious. But it was all whatever and such and decided to continue on with the story.


Le Past

I was confused until I saw a woman with a bit too big of a chest walking towards me with a white shirt which refused to touch her hips because guess what, her chest was preventing it from doing its job. Then she wore a gray short skirt, gray stockings, and a gray skeleton hat. From my memory, it was safe to assume that this was Skelly, and from the reasoning that she was wearing skeleton stuff, so… Coincidentally, my laptop started to play Skeletons by Stevie Wonder at that exact moment, and with it came bad memories.

Fucking great, are you going to start doing this again, my good sir? Are you going to start trolling me like that one time you started to play Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye when I was talking to that one hot girl? YOU caused a shit ton of badly timed coincidences as my headphones came unplugged, and you started to play the next song played on my playlist, as I had hopelessly forgotten to mute you which I usually did just in case YOU entered internal speaker mode. In turn, I'm going to do this to you, just in case…

I completely paused my music, checked that no other tabs were open, and unplugged my headphones, then proceeding to hold down the volume decrease button. After I was sure there was no way that it could blast music when the gods decide to unplug my headphones, I plugged the headphones back in and wrapped the headphones around my neck. Oh, and did I mention that I had to put the headphones under my hoodie? So, it was kind of weird doing so because, well, let's just say that trying to put on headphones properly without revealing the contents under your hood is hard and awkward. Kind of like sex, BINGO BANGO. Nah jk jk, but anyways, she approached my table and I could guess what was about to come next.

"Hi, may I sit next to you? My na-"

Yep, I knew it…

"Skelly, princess of the skeleton kingdom, a relative of the wither skeletons and one of the undead princesses. You wield a bow and arrow and are one of the classic mobs. You prefer to wear small gray clothing as it allows the wind to touch your skin, as it's one of the feelings you have left. You are wearing a white shirt because you want something from me, and I guess it's probably loaned from one of your friends since your closet is probably filled with gray clothing. I assume you want to say something to me, or are you just trying to eat my flesh?"

Absolutely fucking savage…

I felt a bit of pride as the whole room sat quiet, as mouths fell agape at my knowledge. Was I savage or was I not savage? I left Skelly speechless as I gestured her into my booth, she nodded quickly and took a seat across from me. I started to finish up my meal with bacon as she was unable to conjoin her fumbling words once more.

"Umm… I. Uh. What I meant was… The thing is…"

Shit, I was a bit TOO savage there boys, fine… Time to plaster on a smile, a cute one, please be the friendly smile, not the rapist one… Wait, why do I need to smile? I'm wearing my bandana mask...

"Hey, calm down, no need to be intimidated. Don't be so serious, come on, talk to me."

That seemed to calm her down some, and she was finally able to speak again. I only calmed her down so I knew if she was approaching me with bad intentions or not. I could've cared more or less about what she told me about herself, because I already know her from the mob talker series, even though the only thing she said last time I played was "Crack." Finally, what I wanted to hear came, and I braced myself for the absurdity.

"Umm… Would you like to be friends with me? It's not like I like you or anything, but will you just hang out with me. "

Once again, a sigh escaped me, and I was left to pinch the bridge of my nose in exasperation.

Why the fuck am I being placed as the main character in this fucking harem anime Herobrine and the Minecraftian gods worked together to make me suffer through. I'm a closet pervert, and I would prefer a woman that doesn't have such high standing and is simultaneously a fucking monster. I say this because I don't want them to overshadow or undermine me, or even worse... Kill, rape, or eat me. Ugh...

My eyes seemed to telegraph my thoughts as they seemed to tell her I was in deep thought, so she tried to be ever so polite, but to me, it seemed like she Blitzcrank pulled me out of my trance. My heart rate started to sky rocket and that was something nobody would want to have, especially if your heart was in horrible shape. I perked up as I saw that she was still in my booth, and recomposed myself.

"I'll tell you what I've said many a time, I have things to think about, and now you've given me something new to think about as well. I'll tell you my answer in a short while, so excuse me for my lack of response."

"It's okay."

She seemed to flash me a sympathetic smile, as she turned to walk back to her group. I decided to leave the hall and enter the waiting room. The room was white... Yep... Just white... The only thing that was there was a fountain with benches around it. I sat at one and waited.

This is going to be one hell of a ride ain't it?


YAY IT'S BEEN A LONG WHILE THAT I'VE THROWN IN SOMETHING FROM MY MULTIPLE DRAFTS OF DIFFERENT STORY LINES!

I'm having issues on how this story should go, but I do have a select end in mind. But, they always say it's about the journey, not the end.

I'm open to any suggestions, so feel free to contact me as you do so!

And as always:

Ciao!