Chapter Twelve

Aang looked over his armies, and was proud. They would soon be unstoppable! He didn't know why no one ever thought to make an army out of Kung Fu masters. Or rather, make masters out of an army. He watched and waited. And waited. And waited. Finally, he grew tired of this. Where were they? He would have to look for them, and they were probably dawdling AGAIN.

He stormed towards the door, and reached towards the handle to throw it open- SLAM!
The door opened in his face!

"Hey boss, we're done!" the bat looked around, "Boss?"
A mumbling was heard behind the door. The bat looks , and sees Aang flattened against the wall behind the door. The bat closes the door, releasing Aang.

"Say boss, what were you doing behind the door?"

Aang was furious. He struck the bat across the face, sending him staggering back.

"When I rule China, all doors will be outlawed! Stupid things, always causing trouble!" Aang tiraded for fifteen minutes, then remembered the other bat.

Turning to him, he asked, "Well? Are they open?"

the henchbat replied, "Yes boss, and they were really tight! My fingers are all sore, and Jerry's-"

"ENOUGH!" Aang screeched, silencing his subordinate.

"Tell me, can we start reading them?"

The henchbat answered, "yeah, but-..."

"Yes, yess! The secrets of Kung Fu will be mine! Tell the troops to start reading them!"

"But boss-..."

Aang struck the bat in the face again, "I don't want to hear about your pathetic excuse, minion. Make them READ the SCROLLS!"

"But boss, the scrolls need to be read in the correct order, it says so on the box."

*Aang imagines*

"Lord Aang, the first bat has mastered all of Kung Fu."

"very good, how many bats are left?"

"5,471."

"Oh..."

*Aang finishes imagining*

Aang hesitates a moment, then finds a solution, "Let every bat, while reading the scroll, also write it down, then hand on the copy. That should speed things up."

"But boss-..."

"What now, minion?"

"The bats can't write."

*Aang imagines*

"Lord Aang, we have spent 30000000 years teaching the armies how to write. They are ready to write the next book of art!"

Aang turns around, completely old and wrinkled, and mumbles.

"V-very g-good! Now t-to work! Wait, what was the plan again? I have forgotten...

*Aang finishes imagining*

Aang, however, had another solution. "It doesn't matter, just tell them to copy down what they are reading on the paper." he thought he was pretty clever to come up with that.

"But boss-..."

Aang was reaching the end of his rope. "what NOW? The light isnt strong enough? Or the sun isn't in the right angle? Or have the stars aligned themselves incorrectly? What NOW!?"

The bat minion gulped. "L-lord Aang, th-the bats c-can't read..."

Aang collapsed.

*Aang imagines*

All the bats are aligned in a circle, in the center of which is Aang. He is sitting in a rocking chair, holding a scroll and reading out loud.

"Then flip your wings up and go kaboom."

"The final scroll! Hah, now we will dominate!"

Aang tries to get out of his chair.

CRACK!

"Oh, my back! I'll go and sit down, and maybe knit a scarf..."

*Aang finishes imagining*

Aang was dumfounded. He was locked in thought for over half an hour. "They can't read! What kind of buffoons can't read!" Aang knew that this was a serious problem to his plans.

He eventually hit upon a plan. He went out to his Captains. They would have to be quick, or else the five will discover their hiding place and attempt to recover the stolen scrolls. Time was not on his side. He flew through the intricate tunnels and mazes of the cave, avoiding stalagmites and other bats, until he came to a large ram's horn, mounted in the stone. Putting his lips to it, he blew several times, a pre-prepared signal to call the Captains.

In seconds, Aang was surrounded by several of his most trusted operatives. He outlined the plan.

"You must kidnap some teacher, or a grandma or something," he said, "someone who can read to a lot of people, and teach them something."

The captains nodded in agreement. Inside, however, they were wondering what on earth Aang was thinking. Them and teachers and/or grannies had never got along too well, usually ending them getting beaten up by a cane/purse, and a dead teacher was useless. Aang knew EXACTLY what they were thinking.

"Don't even THINK of failing this mission. And whoever you choose to pick, must NOT be harmed."

The captains grumbled. This was demeaning, and probably meant that they would end up begging some old lady to do the job for them. They sighed, bowed, and left the cave.

Once out, they let out the most terrifying screech imaginable, and hurtled down into the valley. Soaring over the streets, they spotted their prey. An old lady goat, just getting out of a carriage. Swooping down, they made their move.

The captains flew elsewhere, discomfited and angry. The old lady had beaten them on sight. One down, several hundred left to try.

Finally, they found a lady which looked like she might work. They were going to use a new technique this time; cute faces! They swooped down again, baring their cutesy faces...

Apparently, this lady was immune to their incredible cuteness. She ignored them until one went right up to her, then she swung her purse right into their toothy, grinning, faces. The generals were not pleased. They searched again.

They tried, several things; fitness, cuteness, force, subtlety, and even handsomeness. Finally, they decided to do the unthinkable; ask the person nicely. They flew up to an old, nearly blind lady. This was going to be demeaning. They gritted their teeth.

"Hello bunnies!" the old lady said cheerily. Bunnies!

"Er...hey..." they weren't good at this, "Say, lady, we want-..."

"It's Bei Jai Mei, just so you know!"

"well... Say Bei, how would you like-..."

"I'm just going to see my cousin, she's been feeling poorly you know..."

This old lady was so annoying! Why did she keep interrupting? They tried again. No chance. Finally they persuaded her to come with them, and took her to the cave, quickly as possible so their job will be over. The old lady kept talking. Finally they had had enough.

"Look lady, can you, Uh...sorta...be quiet?"

"I was just being conversationall!" the old lady seemed insulted. The bats had to come up with something quickly, or else she might not read, and then Aang would have their heads!

"Oh, well," they said "Uh...ah! We suffer from...tofuolesagia...yeah, tofuolesagia, and if we hear too much, we could die!" *Grin!*

The old lady seemed to accept this, and apologized. The bats thought they were pretty clever!

Aang, after being with the lady for five minutes, strongly disagreed. He had already been giving a strong talking-to about manners, a whack on the head, and quite a few cheesy idioms. He could put up with it, however, because she was doing a fine job reading the scrolls. The bats were learning well, and he hoped they would learn quickly.

Time was running short, the five had already found out about the theft, and were frantically searching everywhere for the missing scrolls. Hopefully, the bats would know enough of Kung Fu to fight them off when they came. Aang grinned to himself. He peeked into the "training room" where the old lady was reading. The bats were sprawled out on the floor like children, listening to a story. Aang didn't mind, they were learning something useful for once.

"Learn all you can, children, before the school closes! AHAAHAHA,...ahhaha...haha... that's a terrible line."

With that, Aang flew back to his quarters. He knew that soon, they would be tested. He hoped they would be ready.


Authors note: Sorry for the long wait, the updates are probably going to be farther apart now, as my Mom doesn't like me being on the computer so much. :(

Anyway, to all my readers, thanks for reading! And to those who review, an extra-special thanks!

OH, and about the last chapter, that was NOT wolf boss who joked aboout Shen. Just to get that straight.