A/N: I just noticed how horribly short and kind of boring my last chapter was, so I've written this one too

IS THIS REAL LIFE?

Chapter Nine

Butters' P.O.V

"Hello?"

"H-Hey, Kenni."

"Oh, hey Butters babe. Hold on one sec..."

I waited patiently and heard Kenni say something that sounded suspiciously like 'Shush Craig', but I couldn't be sure. I must have been mistaken though, because Kenni was totally dedicated to Kenny, and he liked her very much.

"What's up, hon?" Kenni asked after a few giggles. There were some masculine chuckles from her end too, but I'm sure she and Craig were just friends. Of course, it was midnight...A sleepover between a boy and a girl was unusual...

"I-I gotta ask you something" I mumbled.

"Hmm?" She nudged verbally.

"Wh-what does it mean i-if a boy kinda sorta likes another boy?"

Kenni drew in breath sharply and whispered "It's Kenny isn't it? Oh, Butters it is!"

I nodded. Then I realized she couldn't see me and cleared my throat. "Y-Yes."

"Ooooh!" Kenny squealed. "Listen, baby, I'm a little busy right now-Oh, Craig! Mmm...Stop that!-So I'll call you in the morning. But you have to promise to give me every detail!"

"I p-promise Kenni."

"Oh sweet Jesus!" Came Tweek's familiar shriek.

Kenni's next reply was muffled, like she was talking with her mouth full. "Great! Goodnight, baby!"

"G'night"

"Oh, Craig!" Kenni yelled. Then the line went dead.

Kenny's P.O.V

It was dark, Butters was asleep, and I had a boner.

I tried and tried to just ignore it and get some sleep, but Kenni's book, and the computer in the living room, were calling to me. Eventually, with a growl, I pushed myself up and opened the drawer of my bedside table. I grabbed the book and headed into the narrow hallway.

My foot came down on a creaky floorboard, and I drew in breath through my teeth, statue still. Butters, I could see, was not disturbed. I listened, hearing Cartman's snores and Kyle and Stan muttering away to eachother, whether in their sleep or not I didn't care.

I continued to the computer.

I stood in the dark, airy living room, staring at the machine. There was a tent pitching in my thin cotton boxers, a huge T-shirt hanging from my upper body.

This was so wrong in so many ways.

Sitting, I slouched into a comfortable position and waited for the computer to load up. When it did, I flipped to my favourite picture in Kenni's album, and typed in the familiar web adress. So much to choose from, anyone I wanted, there to play with. But I only had one boy in mind.

Yeah, you got that right.

One boy.

Clicking tentatively, I typed in the words Butters and I hadn't dared type on our recent investigations.

Kenny x Butters

Butters' P.O.V

It was my phone that woke me up. I reached out and flipped it open before it could disturb Kenny, who was sleeping beside me with a small smile on his face.

"H-Hello?"

"Hey Butters, it's Kenni."

"Oh, h-hey Kenni!" Butterflies erupted in my stomach. I threw back the blankets and got into our closet, hoping Kenny wouldn't wake up and hear me.

"Okay, hon, is it okay if I put you on loudspeaker so the girls can hear?"

"W-well I g-guess..." She'd probably tell them anyway. If I knew anything about girls it was that they talked a lot. Usually spilling everyone else's secrets.

"Hi Butters!" Chorused the girls.

"Hey guys!"

"So...Kenny, huh?" Mary strained, and the girls collapsed into giggles.

I got a little indignant. "Well, if you th-think it's so funny I...I don't s-see why I should tell you!"

"No! No, Butters!" Nadine rushed to assure me. "We don't think it's funny it's just...we're excited."

"Excited?"

"Of course!" Sarah chimed in. "We read fanfiction y'know!"

I blushed.

"So, tell us all about it." Nadine ordered.

"W-well...I always liked Kenny the best."

"Why?" Lizzie asked.

"W-well, just 'cause he never bullied me like-like the others did. He always used to t-turn around and say 'Butters, one day they'll be g-gone and you can do whatever you want'."

There were several 'aww's and a small squeal from their end of the line.

"That's adorable!" Gushed Kenni. "So how do you know you like-like him?"

I thought about it for a moment, and I could see them gathered around a table at the other end, heads bent over the phone, breathing heavily.

"I-I guess it's because we found some fanfiction too." I told them confidently.

"Oh, you did? Did you read any of mine?" Sarah yelled excitedly.

"I-I don't think so. B-but you can tell me yours sometime if you like..." I trailed off. "Anyways, we found it and read some of it. Then Kenny thought it'd be a good idea to see who the most p-popular couple was..."

"...And?" Nadine prompted.

"And it was us."

Applause, cheers.

"Of course it's you!" Lizzie cried.

"But-but why?"

"Well..." Lizzie began.

"I suppose it's because you're always portrayed as...innocent." Sarah mused.

"And cutesy. Lovey-dovey." Nadine concluded.

"And Kenny's just so..." Mary searched for words.

"Whore-ish." Nadine laughed.

"Big brotherly, and hot!" Kenni finished.

"You're the perfect couple. Just like Craig and Tweek are popular because Tweek's a mess, and Craig's so down to earth."

"Or Stan and Kyle, because Kyle's always stressed about work and life in general, and Stan's a dizzy dreamer who just about manages to get by!"

I interrupted to ask an important question. "So why are Eric's pairs popular?"

There was a pause. Kenni began tentatively.

"Well, see, Eric's always been so mean and manipulative, especially towards Kyle. Some girls like to think that it's all a show because he was jealous of Stan and Kyle's super-best-friendship. And with you, well..." She trailed off.

"Whuh...What?" I asked, feeling nervous.

"No offence Butters, but you always did seem to have a crush on Eric. Having you two paired is people's wishes that he'd return the favour..."

I reddened. Shaking my head, I got back on subject.

"So, girls...What do I do about K-Kenny?"

"Now you're talking!" Lizzie sighed.

"We'll talk to him."

"Soon."

"And then we'll call you."

"Then you tell him."

"B-but I don't think I can tell him!" I panicked. What if we couldn't be friends anymore because of it?

"You have to, Butters. It's the only way."

And with that, the girls said their goodbyes, and hung up.