Finished writing chapter 10(it's hella short), but now I'm having trouble writing chapter 11! So, probs no chapters next week. Luckily, after that it's Horizon... and I have a pretty good idea of how to write chapters 12-35...
Thank you for reviewing guys! I'm just going to post up responses here.
FalcoSubbuteo: Teehee! A new reviewer~! 3 So happy~! Thanks so much Falco! And yeah, the guilt's still there. I love writing broken Kim... But still, I miss old Kim. So does Jeff.
Gizmo60: :') Thanks Giz! Yeah, I really pride myself in the amount of feels that seep through the words to you guys~!
EGGS(Guest): I'm very glad that Kim isn't a Mary Sue! Thanks for reviewing :)
64BitLemon: Man, I loved that part too. Any time I can subtly break the fourth wall? I will take it!
~*~
Drops of Jupiter
Chapter 9: Return to the Citadel
~*~
After my… breakdown, Chakwas had checked up on me. It was decided that my fainting was caused by stress and severe sleep deprivation. When the doctor had questioned me, I'd been evasive, but admitted to her that I'd been feeling a bit… lost.
Chakwas had been understanding though, knowing how important Garrus was to me. He was like… well, he wasn't just a friend. He was like a brother to me, I supposed. He'd protected me, and almost losing him… It would have torn me up. Not as much as Sabrina's had, but I… There was a high probability that if he'd died, I would have relapsed. My depression was getting better, my PTSD…
It was weird. Sabrina's death caused my PTSD, but now she was back and… It was still confusing. But Chakwas was hopeful that once I'd gotten used to everything, and gotten used to Sabrina being back that I'd recover.
No one had ever recovered from PTSD before. Treatments only helped so much, but unlike many I'd actually gotten rid of triggers. That was all because Sabrina was back.
"You need to stop pushing people away, and start pulling them in again Kim," Chakwas had told me back on the Normandy. It wasn't hard to guess who she was talking about.
Jeff.
Sure, I was getting along great with Garrus… but I'd been with him for some time while Sabrina was dead. The doctor was happy that I was making new friends on the Normandy… Kenn, for example. And she'd heard that I'd gone down to meet Kenneth and Gabby. She knew I'd never try and reach out for Kaidan. And as for Tali, she was on a mission. Obviously I was (mostly) getting along with Sabrina. Jeff… we used to be best friends. If she wasn't talking about him, I didn't know who she was talking about.
I glanced beside me in the Rapid Transit Skycar. Sabrina had brought Jeff and Garrus along for this outing. Apparently we were going to be meeting with a master thief, and then Sabrina wanted to visit Anderson. I didn't know what else she'd wanted to do, I was just going along with it. But the commander had been very decisive about the seating arrangement. The three humans would sit in the back (with me in the middle because I was the smallest) and Garrus would take the front seat.
It was a bit awkward. For me and Jeff at least.
…I was pretty sure that Sabrina had been planning to push us together since I'd mentioned that the two of us hadn't spoken since she died. Or maybe it was her teasing about the pilot quarter's single bed that tipped me off.
We'd stepped onto the Citadel's level twenty-seven dock, and I glanced around. The place had really changed since I'd left. "Hey Garrus, sorry about ditching your apartment," I realized, giving him a sheepish grin.
"It's fine," Garrus shrugged. "I'll just need to go through and dust everything off and it'll be good as new. No big deal."
"I didn't throw any parties when you were gone by the way," I added with a shrug. "So nothing's broken. And I was sure to clean up all of the dishes before me and Karin went to the Lazarus Station."
Jeff gave Garrus a grin. "Was she a good roommate, Vakarian?"
"The best," Garrus confirmed. "Barely left her room. She was very quiet. Almost didn't realize that she was there."
"Huh, didn't expect that," Jeff joked. "CP struck me as the kind of roommate who would hole herself in the kitchen half the time and only go into her room to sleep."
Sabrina tackled me with a hug. "Kimmy! You never told me you lived with Garrus! Were you dating, or something?" she whispered loudly. Garrus and I gave each other appalled looks at the suggestion.
I let out an awkward laugh. "Nope. Sorry Sabs, no cross species relationships here," I told her with a shrug. "He's too tall for me. Also, more brotherly. You know, the kind of guy who'd beat up anyone who broke my heart."
"Correction, I'd headshot them," the turian jested. "Never let anyone hurt my human little sister."
"And imagine what Uncle Wrex would do!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands against the sides of my face. "Truly, it would be better if I didn't date anyone, ever. I'd hate for anyone's life to be on the line should it not work out."
"I want nieces and nephews!" Sabrina whined, releasing me. The four of us laughed together, and I felt a small weight come off of my heart. This… it was nice.
"So Shepard, what's the plan for today?" Jeff inquired. Sabrina looked up thoughtfully.
"Well, we're looking for a thief. She's supposed to be here…"
I leaned against a nearby advertisement, arms crossed. "What about after that, Sabs? Anderson sent you a message, right?"
"Right!" Sabrina nodded. "So I guess we'll visit him, then… why don't we get lunch? And Chef Gardner asked if I could get some better rations for the ship…"
My eyes sparkled slightly at Gardner's request. Better rations… Maybe real food. Sabrina wouldn't spare any expense for the rest of the crew, I knew how she was.
"…Could we get some ingredients for me to use…?" I asked the commander softly. It had been awhile since I'd last cooked. "Maybe I could make a few things in the kitchen, you know? If Chef Gardner doesn't mind…"
Sabrina's eyes lit up at my request and she nodded excitedly. "Of course!"
I glanced over at Garrus. On the last Normandy… Me, him, and Ashley had cooked together. It brought the three of us closer, and Chakwas did want me to stop pushing people away… I glanced at Jeff. Maybe I could ask him if he wanted to cook with me too…
But what if he didn't want to be pulled back? I… I hadn't really gotten better at interacting with him. He was better than me when it came to pretending nothing had happened though, being able to joke and tease… And I reacted better to that treatment, I liked to think.
At least until he joked about Garrus.
God, I should have handled that better. I just kept screwing up when it came to Jeff. When we first started working together again… It was almost normal. Flying with him, it just felt natural to me. And we both didn't like the AI (although now I was kind of uncertain about whether or not he actually didn't like it), so we were able to talk about that at first…
I bit my lip. Then he flew with it, instead of me. I… I knew why, we couldn't just stay docked in Omega if Sabrina wanted to go somewhere else, and I'd been busy.
So why did it bug me so much?
Jeff glanced over at me. "What's up CP?"
I averted my gaze, frowning. "Nothing," I answered coldly.
The advertisement I was leaning against suddenly changed colours, a hooded face appearing on it. "Commander Shepard," a female voice spoke. I let out a yelp of surprise, tripping over my feet and hitting the ground. "Oops, sorry," the woman on the advertisement apologised, giggling a bit. Garrus, Jeff, and Sabrina were all dying of laughter at my reaction. From the floor I stared at the image, flabbergasted. "I'll just come down and speak to all of you then."
"Looks like we found who we were looking for," Sabrina said between fits of giggles, Garrus chuckling and helping me up.
"Damn, I wish I'd taken a vid of that," Garrus chirped. I glared at him, punching his armor.
"Shut up!" I growled. "It was surprising, okay? I didn't expect it!" I explained, face burning red with embarrassment. Sabrina nuzzled me.
"Aw, you're so cute!" the commander gushed. "I'm so happy I got to see that!"
"Stop it!" I whined, shoving her off, moving to sit on a nearby crate. I hid my face in my hands and shut my eyes tightly. "I'm so embarrassed," I announced, voice muffled by my hands. Sabrina was laughing again, I could hear Jeff chuckling.
"Garrus, oh my god," Sabrina giggled. "That was too funny."
"Calm down Shepard," the turian chuckled in response.
Why wouldn't they stop laughing? I was mortified. Then, I sensed a presence to my right, a hat being pulled over my head. Hesitantly I lowered my hands, peeking beside me. Green eyes looked into mine fondly, warning bells going off in my head. My whole body stiffened up and I stared at him with wide eyes. My heart hammered in my chest, an uneasy feeling in my stomach. Too close, he was too close.
"You'll be fine, CP," Jeff assured, voice soft and kind, pushing the rim of the hat down to hide my face. I sat, frozen in place, barely able to see him limp past me. Letting out a breath I didn't even realize I'd been holding, I raised the rim of the hat so that my vision was no longer blocked. Sabrina and Garrus had moved to a doorway, close to a keeper that was tapping on a control pad by a wall. The woman who'd scared the shit out of me was standing with them, eyes hidden by her hood. Jeff was hanging back, leaning against the wall to my left with his arms crossed over his chest, his gaze directed at the chatting trio.
…He was trying to get along with me still.
Awkwardly I stood up, pulling the hat off my head and returning it to the pilot, leaning against the wall with him. He glanced over at me. "You recovered fast," he commented with a smirk. "Feeling better now?"
I crossed my arms and glared at the floor. "…Sorry for freaking out on you about the Garrus thing, before."
Jeff looked up, shrugging his shoulders. "Nah, don't worry about it."
We stood in silence, a tense awkwardness filling the space around us. Then, Sabrina's new companion looked over at me. I felt my stomach sink as she disappeared from my vision, jumping slightly when she reappeared in front of me with a cheeky grin.
"Hello," she greeted cheerfully. "My name's Kasumi Goto, it's nice to meet you Officer Kogan."
I stared at her, crossing my arms. She was a few inches taller than me. Was I ever going to meet someone shorter than me that wasn't a child or a volus? "…Just call me Kim. I respond to it better," I told her coldly. Kasumi let out a giggle, smiling at me.
"Well, I certainly hope you aren't angry at me for scaring you before," the thief mused, inspecting me. My eyes narrowed at her and I pushed myself off the wall. Jeff watched the two of us with an eyebrow raised. "You have a very interesting look about you, Kim," Kasumi noted, nodding approvingly. "This cold, dark outer shell that you've put up? Very nice. If I hadn't seen your reaction when I spooked you-"
"Don't talk about it," I grumbled. Kasumi's smile softened and she placed a hand on my shoulder.
"No hard feelings, okay? I'll even delete the vid I managed to take," Kasumi declared, opening up her omni-tool and deleting it right in front of me. I glowered, cheeks reddening. "There, are we good now?"
"…I guess," I muttered. Sabrina and Garrus approached us, Sabrina looking ready to stop a fight.
"Everything good here?" the commander inquired. Kasumi nodded at her.
"We're fine Shep," the thief assured. "I'd love to learn more about Kim though, but I don't think she's all that eager to talk to me right now… Oh, I know how to make it up to her," Kasumi declared. "Shep, I'm taking you and Kim shopping."
Looking at Sabrina, I raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Really? Shopping?
Sabrina was all for it though, eyes sparkling with excitement. "Let's do it," Sabrina agreed. She then gave Kasumi a suspicious look. "…Legally shopping, right? You're not going to steal things?"
"Shep, please, have faith," Kasumi smirked. "I'm not going to steal from the shopkeepers here. I'm a master thief, not a petty thief."
"Okay," Sabrina shrugged sheepishly. "Well, I've still got to go see Anderson," a glint of mischief appeared in her eyes. "But well, I don't want Anderson to feel like I'm bringing an army with me… Kim, Joker, why don't the two of you explore Zakera Ward and find a restaurant for us to go to for lunch? We'll meet you there when we're done." I crossed my arms.
Really Sabrina?
"So, you're bringing someone Anderson doesn't even know and an ex C-sec officer with you?" I questioned the commander.
She shrugged at me innocently. "It's seems better than bringing the two ex-Alliance-now-Cerberus pilots with me, don't you think?"
…How does anyone argue against that?
"…Tell Anderson I say hello," I mumbled, turning on my heel and walking towards the security checkpoint. Jeff followed after me, and I slowed down slightly, being mindful of his limp. Once we'd gotten through the checkpoint I turned to look at the pilot. "Anything you'd like to eat, Joker?"
"Anything's better than rations," Jeff answered with a shrug. "Sure, Cerberus rations are a little bit better than Alliance rations… But I don't know, Gardner's the cook and the janitor. Makes me a bit nervous sometimes. What if he forgets to wash his hands?" I bit back a smile, Jeff smirking and shaking his head.
"Well, since Sabrina, Garrus, and Kasumi are going to join us," I looked up thoughtfully. "Let's see… there's this place Garrus took me a couple of times a few floors down. Want to head there?" I suggested, not really knowing where else we could go. The place I was thinking about, it was small, but a pretty decent sit down restaurant. Kind of had an old style pub feel to it. Garrus picked it out because of how fond I'd been of older places and things, he'd been… really considerate of me back then.
"You sure that you and Vakarian weren't dating?" Jeff asked me teasingly. "I mean, come on. Living together, taking you out to eat… Maybe Shepard's right."
"Come on Joker," I scoffed, making my way towards the elevator that would bring us down to the level where the restaurant was. "The only way I could think of Garrus as boyfriend material is if I was indoctrinated. He's dear to my heart, don't get me wrong. He ranks about…" I looked up thoughtfully. "Third on my list of favorite people in the universe. But I'm more of a Marvel fangirl, and he's Turian Batman, not Turian Ironman."
"Wait, you have a list?" the pilot questioned, amused. I nodded, looking around. Some new shops had sprung up since the last time I'd been here. "What's Tali's ranking? I mean, she's kind of like Ironman, they both wear a mask."
"I'm not telling you any of the other rankings," I stated bluntly, hitting the elevator's call button. It didn't take too long for it to arrive, and the two of us stepped inside.
"What floor's it on?" the older man asked me.
"Twenty-one," I answered, leaning against the side of the elevator car. Jeff pressed the button, the doors sealing shut. Then we started going down.
…Were elevators always so slow? I thought it was only that way for Sabrina.
I glanced at Jeff, the pilot calmly inspecting the space around us. I fiddled with my hands anxiously, couldn't this elevator speed up a bit? I just… I felt awkward around him. And this was a confined space, too… not like the Normandy where I could just walk to another part of the ship. Then again, maybe being alone with him was a good thing… I could talk to him without fear of being overheard by the AI. We could… we could talk. I could find out if I was actually needed on the bride, and if I wasn't then…
My chest ached.
If I wasn't, then I'd be able to work with Mordin more, and I didn't mind that… I just wanted to fly still, that's all. The pilot glanced back at me, curiosity in his green eyes. Instantly my cheeks heated up and I averted my gaze.
Joker let out a low chuckle, a mischievous smirk appearing on his lips. "You just can't stop looking at me, can you CP?"
"Shut up," I huffed, crossing my arms. I bit my lip nervously, turning to face him completely. I couldn't keep pushing away, I needed to try.
I needed to talk to him.
As I opened my mouth to speak, the elevator doors slid open and I clamped my mouth shut, turning on my heel and stepping onto the twenty-first level.
"Wait CP, what was that?" Jeff demanded, limping after me. I would have walked faster, but I didn't want to just ditch him on the Citadel so I slowed down.
"Nothing," I shrugged, completely avoiding the conversation that I just didn't want to have. Old Kim would have blurted out everything. But I just… I couldn't. "Look, that's the place," I pointed to the small establishment, the sign outside of it reading 'The Smith and Comet'.
"Classic pub name," Jeff noted, limping with me towards the entrance. The hostess was a female turian, and I could see a few human girls walking around inside serving customers. "Hey, can we get a booth? We've got a group of five."
"Of course," the hostess nodded, turning to look at one of the other waitresses. "Hey Lynn, get booth three ready."
"Sure thing Paevea!" the human girl called back with a grin. Her blonde ponytail bounced behind her as she practically skipped towards the booth. She set down a few napkins and such before giving the hostess a thumbs up and rushing to help another customer. Paevea, the turian hostess looked at Jeff and I, mandibles fluttering.
"I'll escort you to your table," Paevea picked up a few menus from the hostess stand and gestured inside. We followed after her, and I gave her a polite smile before sitting down, Jeff sat across from me. "Today we have a discount on turian brandy and margaritas are half off."
Half off margaritas sounded pretty good.
…But Garrus wouldn't approve.
"Just water for me, thanks," I smiled. The turian glanced over at Jeff.
"You guys have sprite?" Jeff inquired. Paevea nodded. "I'll have a can of that please."
"I'll get those drinks ready for you then," Paevea announced. "Oh, and Lynn will be your waitress today. Flag her down if you need anything else."
The hostess left us, an awkward silence filling the booth. A few moments later she came back, placing our drinks in front of us. Music hummed in the background, old human music… I could tell, I just couldn't quite place the name of the song. Guitar… It was slow...
"So, Shepard said you were a badass on Omega, but I can't see it," Jeff spoke up, an awkward smile on his face. "Was she pulling my leg or did you actually open fire on some batarians?"
My head shot up at his question and I let out an awkward laugh. "Sorry, she wasn't pulling your leg," I admitted, rubbing the back of my head as my cheeks started to heat up. "…What else did Sabrina tell you?" I inquired cautiously.
"Nothing else really," he smiled at me weakly. I frowned. "Look, you don't need to worry about it CP."
"Well, you're worrying about it," I argued, glaring at him from across the table. The pilot shook his head, hiding his eyes with his hat.
"…I don't want to set you off," he mumbled.
I felt a stab go through my chest, and I averted my gaze. "…Sorry," I uttered, opening up my omni-tool. I'd just call Sabrina, see what was going on… try and avoid the awkwardness and guilt that came from being alone with Jeff. "Hey Sabs, me and Joker are at the, uh… Smith and Comet."
"Sounds fancy!" Sabrina cheered.
"It's really not," I remarked with a grin. "Ask Garrus about it… You guys done with Anderson now?"
"We're just about to walk into his office," Sabrina replied. "Don't worry, we'll head straight to you guys once we're done. Oh, and I already got the stuff that Chef Gardner wanted shipped to the Normandy… including a good mix of ingredients for you to use to make me something delicious. See you soon!"
She hung up on me and I sulked slightly. Yeah, looks like Jeff and I would be alone together for a little while longer.
I placed my elbows on the table, leaning my face against my right hand and inspecting the pub. It hadn't changed that much since I'd been there last. I figured that Sol was a new worker, not that I'd gone to the place often enough with Garrus to know all the employees. Paevea seemed a little familiar to me though… so I knew I'd probably seen her at least once before. A few songs played through, and then one started playing that I actually recognized. A gentle smile formed on my lips as I listened to the words, and I felt my eyes soften as the words poured out of the sound system.
"Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes. But it's the only thing that I know. When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes, it is the only thing that makes us feel alive."
The thing I loved most about old music…
"We keep this love in a photograph, we made these memories for ourselves. Where our eyes are never closing, hearts are never broken, and time's forever frozen still."
…Was how they singers just seemed to be able to say everything perfectly.
"So you can keep me inside the pocket of your ripped jeans," I sang softly, along to the music. "Holding me closer 'til our eyes meet… you won't ever be alone…"
"I never understood how you just knew songs," Jeff cut in. My eyes widened and I snapped out of my trance, face burning bright red. I couldn't believe that I'd just sung out loud. At my expression, the pilot grinned, rubbing the back of his head. "It's amazing, don't get me wrong. I just want to know how you do it."
I gaped at the pilot for a moment, moving my hands to my lap and staring down at them. "…I like music, especially old songs," I murmured.
The pilot gave me a cheeky grin. "Well, what was that song you were just singing along to? You seemed pretty out of it when it started playing."
"Photograph. It's Ed Sheeran," I grumbled, crossing my arms and slumping in my seat. "He's my favorite, okay?"
"Why?" Jeff pressed, green eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Was he your dream guy? Blonde hair, green eyes?" he teased.
"No!" I denied, giving the pilot a disapproving look. "I just… A lot of his songs for me it's like…" I sighed, staring down at my hands. "His songs… they always got his feelings across. It's like he always knew exactly what to say, you know? I wish I could be like that."
The older man opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by Sabrina shouting a greeting to us from the entrance of the pub. She, Garrus, and Kasumi approached our table, the commander scrutinizing the two of us.
"Joker, you're going to have to sit next to Kim," Sabrina decided with a nod. I raised an eyebrow at her, to which she shrugged. "Well, I want to sit with Garrus but his armor is huge, so Kasumi would have to sit next to you."
My expression darkened and Joker moved to stand up. "Yup, that's not a good idea. I'm moving Shep," Jeff chuckled, taking the spot next to me. "CP, you done imagining the end of the world?"
"Nope. It's still burning in my mind," I quipped. "Sabrina's standing on top of the dead body of a Reaper. Quite epic, I'll admit."
"Very epic," Sabrina agreed, sitting across from me. "Anderson says hello, but other than that we didn't really talk that much."
"Shepard's a Spectre again though," Garrus added. "Because apparently, your status is dropped when you die."
I pursed my lips.
"Anderson's my favorite part of the Council, you know," I stated simply. "Just saying… Thanks for not giving Udina the role."
"You're very welcome," Sabrina grinned. "Okay! Let's order, I'm starving."
All of us opened our menus, and I could tell Garrus was trying to see if my glass of water was water or not. It was nice that he was being cautious, I used to be very bad about it. "It's water," I told the turian bluntly. "Now focus on the menu Vakarian, I want to order soon."
I'd already decided on just getting a cheeseburger. One could never go wrong with a cheeseburger.
"Sorry," Garrus coughed. "You never know. Just wanted to be careful."
Sabrina glanced at the turian curiously. "What's so bad about Kimmy drinking something other than water?"
"Nothing," the two of us answered in unison.
"I'm just more embarrassing when I'm drunk," I lied easily. "And no, I'm not letting Garrus tell you anything. If he tells you a single embarrassing story, then I'm going to tell everyone on the Normandy about that time when we-"
"Nope, I won't pester anyone for details on the embarrassing things you've done," Sabrina promised, cutting me off. Kasumi giggled from the other side of Joker.
"They seem like they'd be such interesting stories though," Kasumi commented. "Kim, don't tell me you have no stories about yourself that you'd be willing to share."
"Karaoke is off the table," I stated bluntly. "As is anything from before I joined the Alliance."
"There was this one time when we were fighting against Saren and the Geth…" Sabrina started thoughtfully. "Kimmy crawled through these vents, and she hacked the security cameras to set on a loop so we could take the Normandy and chase after Saren without the Council knowing."
"And when she crawled out of the vents, she was covered in dust from head to toe," Garrus added, mandibles fluttering with amusement.
"Ah… so Kim's a bit of an infiltrator, then?" the master thief questioned. Sabrina and Garrus looked at each other for a moment.
"Yup," they decided.
I scowled, shaking my head. "No, I'm not an infiltrator. I'm a Flight Officer."
"But you're a Flight Officer with Infiltrator training," Sabrina argued logically.
"Well when you say it like that, throw in the fact that I have medical training too," I sassed back. "But no, I'm not an Infiltrator. Sure, I can sneak and I can use a sniper rifle but if you look at the skillset most infiltrators have, it's clear that I'm not one. I've never actually finished my training for anything other than being a pilot."
"What is your skillset?" Kasumi inquired. "Just out of curiosity."
"I can unlock doors, hack into simple to moderate systems," I started mechanically. "On the field I can't AI hack, the best I can do is overload their systems with junk files. But in comparison to Sabrina, I'm a tech genius."
"Which I'll admit is pretty sad considering the fact that I'm a Sentinal," Sabrina sighed. "But can you really blame me? Before all I needed to do was slap some Omni-gel on it and then it was fine…"
"Yeah, that security upgrade ruined a lot of people in my business," Kasumi admitted. "Is everyone ready to order?"
Since we were all ready, I flagged down our waitress. Once we'd all given her our orders, we continued the previous conversation
"Military ranked Infiltrators are all trained in specific things," I continued. "Tactical cloaks are given to all of them, they all learn how to use high-explosive plasma rounds, and they're trained to use various ammo types. The only ammo I know how to use is regular ammo. When I took infiltrator training the only parts I did well in was hacking and sneaking. Got average scores on the shooting range too. Luckily Garrus got me up to an above average."
Kasumi shrugged, leaning forward on the table so she could look at me better. "In my business you'd be labelled as an infiltrator. "
"But I'm not a thief," I took a sip of my water.
Our food arrived quickly, and the conversation died while we ate. I really didn't know why Kasumi was so interested in me, but for some reason she was and I wasn't sure how I should feel about that.
"So Shep, how's your food?" Kasumi piped up, Sabrina happily gobbling down the last of her food.
"Delicious!" Sabrina declared, chugging a glass of water that our waitress had brought over for her. "Ah, this place is great. Kimmy, good choice."
"Thank Garrus," I shrugged, taking a small bite of my burger. I'd eaten a good half of it now, and was already full. "Want the rest of my food Sabs? I'm full."
The commander drooled a bit at my offer, reaching forward. Man, was she ever hungry. I pushed my plate towards her with a smile, glancing over to Jeff. He'd already finished his meal, as had Garrus and Kasumi.
"So, what's the plan after this?" Jeff inquired. Sabrina nodded towards Kasumi, too enthralled by my food to bother speaking to us. Garrus let out a light chuckle at Sabrina, shaking his head before focusing on Kasumi.
"There's a few stores one level up that I want to take Kim and Shep to," Kasumi answered. "I'm thinking that Kim would look very attractive in a dress."
Sabrina finished her last bite, stopping me from refusing. "I've been dreaming of this day for years. She needs something with a semi-sweetheart neckline to accent her boobs. Straps because she'd refuse to wear a strapless dress."
I stared at Sabrina, a little bit dumbfounded. Garrus let out an awkward cough, Jeff adjusting his cap and staring at Kasumi with confusion.
"Just how long have you been thinking about this?" the turian questioned the commander incredulously.
Kasumi let out a giggle, she and Sabrina completely ignoring the boys. "Sounds good so far; what about the silhouette? I was thinking an A-Line."
Sabrina nodded her approval. "A-Line would look nice, but we'd need to make it a high-low hem so that Kim doesn't trip."
"Layered skirt to make it more elegant… it is going to be a formal event after all," Kasumi added. I stared at the thief, a blank expression on my face. "Color?"
"Emerald green," Sabrina decided. "Or do you think white would be better? It would have a nice contrast with her skin tone."
Kasumi stepped out of the booth. "Joker, please let Kim out."
Awkwardly, the two of us shuffled out. I was completely confused by what was going on. The thief walked around me, shaking her head. "Dark green would be better, maybe emerald. Kim kind of gives off this innocent, lost puppy aura sometimes. If she wore white, then it would make that more noticeable."
"What are you guys even talking about?" I blurted unhappily, crossing my arms and scowling.
Sabrina beamed at me. "It's for a mission Kimmy," she explained, she and Garrus shuffling out of the booth. "I'm going to go pay."
I stared at Kasumi, crossing my arms and narrowing my eyes. "…A mission where I need to wear a dress?" Yeah, right.
"Believe me, it's legit," Kasumi assured. "You're going to be helping me pull off a heist. Originally I was going to get Shepard to play the part… but she's pretty recognizable, you have to admit. Better if she just takes the role of bodyguard."
"Makes sense," Garrus shrugged. "Although I don't quite understand why you're taking them dress shopping.
Sabrina came back, poking Garrus's non-damaged side of his face. "Don't ruin this for me Vakarian. I get to help Kasumi pretty up my baby girl."
Next thing I knew, all of us were sitting in a dress shop. Well, the boys were sitting. Sabrina and Kasumi were forcing me to try on dresses that they'd chosen and model them for their amusement. They'd quickly found something for Sabrina… It was a nice, flowy dress that stopped a few inches above her knees. At the top of it, it was a pale blue that had an ombre effect, turning black at the bottom. I didn't really know how else to explain it, but it looked nice on her.
But they'd made me try on at least ten dresses, and it felt like they'd never find one that they approved of. It was either too long at the front and hid my 'gorgeous legs' (Kasumi's words) or too long at the back, or the neckline made my boobs look non-existent, or the waist was too shiny and brought the attention away from my eyes. Geez, and I thought tripping over my own feet and crashing to the floor was embarrassing.
This was worse. Far worse.
"It's difficult to find dresses for you because you're so short," Sabrina teased. I scowled from inside the changing room, taking yet another dress from her. All of them looked the same to me, all with high-low skirts and flowyness and emerald greens. "I have a good feeling about this one. It's simpler than the other ones."
"If this one doesn't work we can just get me a giant paper bag to wear for the mission," I stated, feeling sour. I hated this.
"No," Sabrina denied. "I love this too much. Kasumi! Go find Kim a nice pair of heels to go with this one."
"I'm thinking black ones," Kasumi called back, heading towards another part of the shop. I let out a long sigh, pulling the dress over my head. I stared at myself in the mirror. This dress seemed to fit all the requirements Sabrina had decided on. At the front the skirt was cut pretty short, the back of it stopping just above my ankles. The waist was simple, it just looked like a wrapped piece of material and the skirt was quite flowy, with only three light layers instead of twenty so I didn't look like a high school girl going to prom. And it had straps.
"Zipper," I grumbled, Sabrina entering the changing room and zipping it up. I crossed my arms and turned to look at the commander. "Well, how's this one?"
Sabrina's eyes sparkled happily, a smile plastered on her face. "It's perfect!" Kasumi walked in next, a pair of simple strapped black heels in her hands. The thief whistled at me.
"You look great. Just one thing…" she approached me, taking my braid in her hand and pulling out the tie. "There. Beautiful. No one will be able to keep their eyes off you."
"Try on the heels!" Sabrina gushed, handing them to me. I scoffed and rolled my eyes but complied. Then, they dragged me out to get a second opinion. "Guys! Isn't she gorgeous?"
Garrus simply nodded, but he looked kind of uncertain. "It looks… better than the other ones."
"What do you think, Joker?" Kasumi pressed. I scowled and placed my hands on my hips.
"My opinion's the same as Vakarian's," Jeff shrugged. Sabrina pouted, hugging me from behind.
"Well, I think Kim looks absolutely amazing," the commander announced, nuzzling me. "For the mission we'll add some make-up, and Kim's going to look stunning. Then I might actually get some nieces and nephews!"
I rolled my eyes. "Sabrina, I'm going to be helping with a heist. Not getting laid."
"Well, you could do both," Kasumi shrugged. "Like I said before, you have a good look about you. Even if everyone you'll be dealing with is going to be smugglers, mercenaries, and just overall bad guys… I'm not going to judge."
"I'm going to get changed," I announced, stopping the conversation. "Sabs, zipper." Sabrina pulled the zipper down, and I walked back into the changing room.
"So Joker, how long have you known Kim?" Kasumi asked. I began unstrapping the heels.
"We went to flight school together," the pilot answered nonchalantly.
"Well, how much sexier has Kim gotten since then?" the thief prodded. My cheeks burned brightly and I pulled the dress off and onto its hanger. "I mean come on, I doubt her legs were that nice when she was… what, fifteen? That's when she started, right Shep?"
"Yup!" Sabrina confirmed.
"No offense Kasumi, but your interest in CP is kind of creepy," Jeff told the thief bluntly. I smirked from inside the changing room, pulling on my trousers and picking up the photo's I'd hidden beneath them before the dresses had been forced on me.
"You're just avoiding the question," Kasumi huffed. "I'll bet that it's because you find her extremely attractive. Especially in that dress."
"Nah, CP's just… CP. She looks the same whatever she's wearing," the pilot answered. I rolled my eyes, pulling on my shirt and tucking the photos into it.
Kasumi sighed. "That's not very nice."
"You realize that I can hear all of you, right?" I grumbled, stepping out of the changing room with a sour expression on my face. "Can we just go now? I'm sick of the Citadel."
"I'll go pay for the dresses and your shoes," Kasumi smiled, picking up the items and heading towards the sales clerk. A few moments later, Kasumi returned to us and handed me and Sabrina bag's that held our dresses and new shoes. The five of us then returned to the Normandy, the thief turning invisible as soon as we stepped inside.
"Oh, guys," Sabrina realized, turning towards Jeff and I. "Can you two take us to the Amada System? Hackett asked me to check something out."
"Sure thing Commander," Jeff responded with a salute, she laughed lightly, nodding towards Garrus and heading towards the Galaxy map. The turian followed after her.
"I'll just… put this stuff away," I decided after a moment, taking a step towards the pilot's quarters. A hand grasped my arm and I winced, spinning around to face the pilot. He released me quickly, an awkward expression on his face. I tilted my head to the side questioningly, Jeff fixing his hat and averting his gaze.
"I just… I was thinking about what you said earlier in the restaurant," he told me seriously. "And… I think that we really need to talk."
I felt my heart speed up a bit, and I nodded. "Yeah, we do. Can I put this stuff away first, though?" I requested calmly, even though inside I was panicking.
"Yeah, sure," Jeff approved, leaning against the wall. "I'll just wait here."
I hurried into the other room, placing the bags down next to my locker before hugging myself. What was he going to talk to me about, what was I going to say? I let out a heavy breath, placing my hand over my heart. I could feel the photo paper against my skin.
We couldn't avoid it any more, I guessed. Not if we were supposed to work together. If I was even going to keep working with him, that is.
Hesitantly, I peeked out of the room. Jeff was still leaning against the wall, patient. Shyly, I walked over to, standing about a meter away from him. Neither of us spoke for a few moments, and I guessed that while I was in the other room, he'd hit the mute button on EDI or something.
"…I don't always know what to say either," he finally spoke up, his green eyes gentle. I looked away, and he opened up his omni-tool. A moment later, guitar played over the cockpit's sound system. I glanced at him with a bit of confusion and he rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. "Just ignore the romantic stuff. It was the closest one I could find to what I wanted to say."
"When I look into your eyes it's like watching the night sky, or a beautiful sunrise… Well, there's so much they hold. And just like them old stars I see that you've come so far to be right where you are. How old is your soul?"
A gentle smile appeared on my lips at the last part, and I giggled a bit. Jeff grinned back at me and shrugged. "I figured it was fitting." I rolled my eyes, leaning on the wall across from him now. Everyone always brought up my soul and its age.
"Well, I won't give up on us, even if the skies get rough. I'm giving you all my love, I'm still looking up."
My eyes widened slightly, the words of the song clicking in my brain. "'Cause even the stars they burn! Some even fall to the earth. We've got a lot to learn, God knows we're worth it."
We were worth it.
"No, I won't give up."
He wasn't giving up on us, and there I was… just ready to let him go. Tears pooled in my eyes, a small laugh bursting from my throat. Unlike me, he was really trying. Without a word, I turned off the sound system from my omni-tool, shaking my head at the irony.
"So, what do you think?" he asked me awkwardly. I stepped forward, reaching out and taking his hand.
"... If you're not giving up, then I'm not going to either," I stated decisively, smiling up at him. The sound of a click caused me to pull my hand away, head snapping in the direction of the noise. Kasumi uncloaked, grinning at the two of us.
"Shep was right, you two are pretty cute together," the thief commented. Jeff crossed his arms and gave the woman a disapproving glare.
"Pretty creepy, Kasumi," he grumbled. Kasumi giggled, disappearing from our sight. "Sorry about that," the pilot sighed, shaking his head.
"It's fine," I responded stiffly, turning on my heel and taking my usual seat and activating the control panel. "Sabrina wanted us to head to the Amada System, right? I'll start plotting a course."
"Yeah," Jeff agreed, taking his seat and preparing for takeoff. We worked in silence, EDI soon unmuting herself.
"Miss Kogan, Commander Shepard wanted me to let you know to get your gear ready before we land," the AI informed.
"Thanks EDI," I replied softly, no longer feeling all that threatened by the artificial intelligence. "How's our fuel supply? Will we need to refuel?"
"No Miss Kogan, we have more than enough fuel to get to the Omega Nebula and back," EDI answered almost instantly.
I nodded, keeping my eyes on my screen. "Good, thanks."
"It's a lot nicer to you than it is to me," Jeff grumbled. "Quieter too."
"I've always been the more likable one of the two of us," I shrugged with a small smile. "Makes sense that the AI likes me more too. I'm just so charming, even if I'm talking about dismantling it," I boasted.
"You know, I missed your cockiness," Jeff snickered.
I smirked. "Yeah. I've always been just as cocky as you. Kept you in line."
"It's why we're-" the pilot caught himself, coughing and looking out the window. "…It's why we were best friends."
I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning back into my seat. "Yeah, we were best friends."
