Several days had passed since Sasuke had issued his request to Tsunade. If there has been one thing Uchiha Sasuke learned in the last few months, it would be clarity. To be able to think on his unhindered own.
Such a folly he learned the truth only on the tip of a blade.
A folly still he felt so unwaveringly dedicated to his family. While true, his brother did end their clan he didn't of his own volition, even above family, Itachi had loved his village.
A marionette still takes a moment to learn to walk once freed from strings.
The rain must've stopped a few hours ago as the ambient dripping sounds had ceased, leaving Sasuke laying on the bare cot staring at the ceiling in complete silence.
He firmly believes he grows stronger with every minute he spends in silence. He hasn't had a voice whispering in his ear or his mind since his entry into this cell, and it was rather comforting to be able to distinguish your thoughts from those ideas planted and cultivated by others.
He laughed to himself when he compared his mind to a garden simply because of how many people attempted to grow ideas there. A brief mental image of Orochimaru clad in modest farmer attire made him audibly laugh.
He forgot he knew how to do that.
As quick as the laugh onset, it was gone. Replaced again with the oddly welcoming silence.
His thoughts wandered again, taking him on a journey from Orochimaru farming straight to his child hood home bathed in blood. If he hadn't been alone, he would have hid the flex in his jawbone at the recollection that has haunted him for nearly a decade.
A familiar feeling took hold of him as the film of memory played out behind his eyelids. That feeling, was unadulterated anger. All over again, the same anger he'd felt since that night but over time had evolved into malice. That hint of malice, took him to all the unsavory memories created by that feeling alone.
He had tried to kill his best friend.
He had tried to kill his team mate.
He bargained his very self for a slice of power he didn't already have.
He killed his brother.
He aided Madara in his desire to simply know, to not be lead or conditioned but to know irrefutably the great flaw that was his family and the truth of his brother, who'd martyred himself to spare Sasuke.
Those few facts, weighed greater on him than anyone would know. Decisions he'd made in rash anger standing in the middle of his mind like they were etched onto the side of a great mountain.
He realized then, these were things to never forget.
Never forget the Hell he'd ushered into his life. He would never forgive himself for that and countless other decisions and events.
He is sitting in an ANBU cell, within the village he once called his home and for the first time in his life, he doesn't try to blame anyone but himself.
Clarity. The realization that your life is exactly how you make it.
The image of Orochimaru farming in his mind returns, but it's only changed. Orochimaru is now sitting far away from the garden holding something above him that catches the light in such a way it shines golden, and Sasuke realizes that he's been the one tending the garden for all those people the entire time.
The realization saddens him and he tries to find something, anything to take his mind off the track it's traveling but finds nothing. Nothing in this cell but silence.
The downside of clarity. You can't escape yourself.
AN: Brief I know but I needed to get back in the flow of things. I know, I know, it's slow but honestly it's nice to write something that doesn't feel rushed J Thank you for your patience and personal note: 3 weeks a non-smoker! Yay me. If you don't smoke now, don't ever start.
