Hey guysssss! Please enjoy. I know this sort of idea has been done before but I couldn't resist so please read and review! Much love, sweeties!

Obviously, I don't own River, The Doctor, Alex, Matt, the Tardis or anything DW related. Well, I have a pillow with some Weeping Angels on it. But yeah. Actually, I own a character in this one! *does happy dance* I named her after my best mate. But she's a bitch. The character, not my best friend. Anyway…..

'Run! Come on!' the Doctor shouted for at least the trillionth time that day as he held out his hand to the young brunette standing stock still next to him 'Alicia, we don't have time for this! Come on!' Seeing no movement was coming from his latest companion he grabbed her hand and forcefully dragged her along with him, diving inside the Tardis just as the bomb at the other end of the corridor exploded. Slamming the door shut, he adjusted his bowtie and sighed. Alicia was great, a lot of fun but she wasn't quite an expert at the whole saving the world yet. He tried not to get impatient with her, it wasn't her fault that no-one could really live up to the Ponds. But he couldn't help missing Amy Pond and her long-suffering, eternally brave husband.

'I'm sorry. Really, I am, I just froze. I didn't know what to do, I was scared' Alicia was close to tears, looking much younger than her twenty three years. He walked over to her and kissed her on the forehead, like always.

'Alicia, its fine. I understand. This is all new to you, you're coping really well, actually. It takes people time to get used to the way I live. There's nothing wrong with being scared, it doesn't make you weak' he smiled kindly at her, trying to put reassurance into his voice and take any irritation out. She looked up at him with complete and utter trust and faith and it made his smile falter a little. He hated it when people looked at him like that; sooner or later it meant trouble.

About half an hour later, when Alicia was all cleaned up and calmed down, the Doctor felt a burning in his pocket and quickly flipped his psychic paper out. The message on it made him blush until his ears turn red.

'The things I do for that woman' he muttered, quickly pressing switches and flipping levers on the controls. Alicia looked up sharply.

'What woman? Where are we going?' she eyed him suspiciously. What woman was he talking about? He didn't have other women in his life surely… Maybe a clingy ex-girlfriend or something, she consoled herself. People couldn't help loving the Doctor.

'What? I didn't say anything about a woman' the Doctor smiled innocently at her as he continued to set the controls 'We're going for a very quick trip, just need to sort something out. You won't even have to step outside the Tardis, it'll all be very boring' not bloody likely, he thought to himself. His certain damsel in distress was definitely never boring. As he landed, he grinned excitedly to himself, leaping towards the doors. Alicia noticed his happy expression and quickly followed him. As he flung the doors open, he tripped over Alicia's feet and landed in a heap on the floor.

'Falling at my feet already, sweetie? We're not going to get very far today then, are we?' the Doctor looked up to see a very familiar smirk in place on a very familiar face. He scrambled to his feet, half ecstatic to see her, half embarrassed that he had indeed, fallen at her feet.

'Yeah well, believe me it wasn't intentional. Now, Doctor we should be going to find this thing you need to sort out' Alicia jumped to her feet, looking at River suspiciously. This strange woman was far too forward, flirting with a man she'd only just met. Besides, wasn't it obvious that she and the Doctor were together? Just in case this woman hadn't got the message, Alicia took his hand and tried to drag him away.

'Right, yes. River, this is Alicia. Alicia, this is River Song, also known as 'that thing I need to sort out' he shrugged awkwardly as River shook hands with a rather unwilling Alicia.

'What a charming introduction, sweetie' River rolled her eyes at the Doctor 'Honestly, he's so rude sometimes' she flashed Alicia a patronising smile.

'No, I don't think so, actually. I think he's pretty great. And I'm sorry, but who exactly are you?' Alicia glared back in response to the older woman's smile.

'River Song. He won't have mentioned me, he never does' she turned to the Doctor 'Actually honey, we sort of need to get going. There's some bullets going to be fired this way really rather soon and if my dress gets torn there'll be hell to pay' she made to enter the Tardis but Alicia blocked her way.

'Sorry, what do you think you're doing? You can't just come in here, you know. There are things in here that would absolutely blow your mind' she smirked at River, glad to have the upper hand over this know-it-all woman who treated the Doctor like a puppy. River rolled her eyes.

'You know sweetie, if you did mention me from time to time, it would save a lot of complications. Now dear' she directed her attention back to Alicia 'Don't you worry about my mind being blown because that hasn't happened in a long time. So if you'd be so kind as to let me in so I can go to my room and change and shower and get out of this hell hole, there won't be any trouble' she smiled dangerously sweetly at Alicia and forced her way past easily. Alicia was left gaping after her as the Doctor followed in tow, glancing apologetically at her.

River took her shoes off and hung them up above the console, typing co-ordinates into the controls. She flashed a smile at the Doctor.

'I'm going to change, sweetie' she blew him a kiss and slunk out of the room, swinging her hips. Alicia turned to the Doctor, glaring furiously.

'Who the hell is she? She just waltzed in here like she owns the place! You've never mentioned her before! And what was with the flirting? Just what the hell?' her voice raised til it was so loud he thought the ceiling would collapse. Backing away slightly, he raised his arms defensively.

'You know who it is, it's River, I introduced her' he tried to smile innocently but her glare became even fiercer.

'No. Why does she think she has the right to flirt and hang her shoes up on the console and use your bathroom and have clothes here, Doctor?' she took a step towards him.

'Oh well, she's my wife, so you know. Anyway, what do you want to do now? We'll have to drop River back off to prison and then we can do something exciting!' he paused, wondering if he'd slipped his marital status in subtly enough Alicia hadn't noticed. Judging from the look on her face and the way she was clenching her fists, he guessed not.

'Your what? Your wife? No, that can't be true Doctor, because you've made it clear that…. Doctor, I thought you loved me?' she looked like she was going to swing at him and he jumped back.

'Look, I'll just go and make you a nice cup of tea…' he ran out of the room towards the kitchen and exhaled with relief. Oh, thank god he'd got out of that awkward situati- oh no. He'd left Alicia and River alone together. Continuing his walk to the kitchen he decided that being grown women they could solve their disputes calmly. Or maybe have a bitch fight in the console room. Either way, it didn't take a genius like him to work out who was going to win.