Emmett's a Peach

Special Edition: Parallel universes!

Chapter 9

The love triangle will never look the same again

A/N: This is set during Eclipse. Bella and Edward's lives have been switched, whereas Jacob is still Jacob. Edward and Jacob are still fighting over Bella.

(Edward has entered.)

(Bella has entered.)

Bella: Hi!

Edward: Hello, love.

Edward: About those marriage plans...

Bella: It's decided. Marriage, transformation, and then sex.

Edward: Good. Let's not have sex until I'm a vampire. I wouldn't want every bone in my body to be crushed.

(Jacob has entered.)

Edward: Oh, wonderful.

Jacob: Hi, Bella!

Bella: Oh, hi, Jake! What's up?

Jacob: Not much, just hanging out.

Jacob: Dumped Edward yet?

Edward: That's her decision, not yours.

Jacob: Are you telling me what to do?

Edward: (gulps) No...

Jacob: Good.

Bella: Jake, you're scaring him.

Jacob: Well, why shouldn't I? He's getting in the way of our beautiful relationship.

Bella: What beautiful relationship? I'm having a beautiful relationship with him.

Jacob: Sweetie, you could be doing much better. That's what I've been trying to say.

Bella: If you keep this up, I'm going to kick you out of this chatroom.

Jacob: All right. Later.

(Jacob has left.)

Edward: Thank God he left. He scares me.

Edward: What I wouldn't give to become a vampire and kill him...

Bella: Well, our relationship is already set in stone, and there's nothing he can do.

Bella: The funny thing? He always referred to vampires as "goddamned leeches" before he met me.

Edward: You have that charming effect on people.

Bella: Yeah. He tried to force a kiss on me under threat of suicide.

Edward: !

Edward: What did you do?!

Bella: I punched him in the face and told him, "If our love matters that little to you, then go right ahead!"

Edward: (is awed) Good... good for you. Wow.

Edward: I wonder what it would be like if that happened... and you were the human and I was the vampire.

Bella: Well, for starters, I think I'd exhibit common sense and skip the country.

Edward: Well, love, when I become a vampire, I won't need to skip the country.

Bella: Unless you get caught.

Edward: No, I don't think so. Your family hasn't been caught yet.

Bella: Actually, we have. Several times. But we have escaped without a problem. It's all about the connections.

Edward: Oh. I didn't know that.

Bella: Now you do.

Edward: Well, I think it'll be fine. You're just... what's the word for it... overdramatizing it.

Bella: Immortality is a curse. You get to see your friends die... your loved ones die... your relatives' grandchildren die...

Bella: I think I've gone insane. It's a miracle that other people in my family haven't.

Edward: I'm ready for it.

Bella: Do you know what you're doing?

Edward: Yes.

Bella: Okay.

Bella: I'm going hunting. Enjoy life.

Edward: I will. Goodbye.

Bella: Bye.

(Bella has left.)

(Edward has left.)