This chapter was harder to write then I thought. I kept changing it. I hope it makes sense to you all. Let me know via the review fairies??
DISCLAIMER: What I wouldn't give for just an hour to play….but sadly, no.
TIMING - Chapter 9
The next morning found Grace tangled up in Wayne's arms and legs. Being held close in Wayne's arms against his chest made her feel warm, safe and loved. She smiled inwardly as she though how thoroughly and often she had been loved that night.
Grace had awoken to find herself wrapped around him during the night. The small light in his bathroom had been just enough for her to see him. While he lay sleeping, she drank him in. His face was in repose and he looked so much younger somehow with out the cares of the day upon him. With the lightest of touches, she traced his eyebrows, nose, and strong jaw line. As women in love had done for years, she examined every little detail and delighted in them. She forced herself to not touch those lips that were very slightly curved in a smile. This quiet moment was hers, too precious to disturb. Thankfully, the sheet and blanket had slipped down his long torso, allowing her to enjoy that view as well. Standing, Wayne was a big man, an imposing presence, covering a gentle soul. Even in sleep, he took up so much of the bed. But considering that she wrapped herself around him, it didn't matter much. His wide shoulders and muscled chest and arms had gotten larger with all that working out. Just as she was debating whether to continue her view to some more interesting terrain, she found her self flipped underneath him.
Those sweet lips were curved in that happy grin she had come to expect from him.
"If you are going to watch me sleep, you need to deal with the consequences of waking me like that," he growled at her.
"Consequences? There are consequences just for looking? What would you do if I had done more than look? Are they worse as the offense worsens?
He held himself over her, resting up on his forearms next to her head. He had always been a light sleeper, even after their ferocious love making, Wayne had felt her shift and waited for her to settle back down. He could feel when she pulled herself up and prayed she was not going to leave the bed. Wayne forced himself to remain still as she ghosted touches over his face and upper body. But when he felt her hand begin to slowly pull the sheet away from him, he knew his wakefulness would show. As she had done with him, he admired the view. However, that lasted only a moment.
"Well, that's it, then. Here they are!"
Grace felt the heat and welcome weight of his body over hers even as he held himself a little away to keep from crushing her. The smile on his face turned serious as he looked into her eyes for a long moment. Just as she felt like her heart was rushing up to meet his, he swooped down and captured her lips. There was nothing sweet or gentle here. It was raw, unfiltered passion. In a flash, she was caught up in the heat. She felt buffeted by the strength of it all and gladly allowed herself to be swept away in his lips, hands and hard muscles. He took, she gave. He demanded more and she gave every part of herself. Within moments, she was crying out her release. But still, he wanted more. Every part of her body was kissed and caressed, sometimes gently, mostly with an ardor that women dream about. By the time his passion spilled hotly into her, she was a quivering mass fluid sensations. She had no idea her body was even capable of feeling that way.
The intensity of her body's response to him should have frightened her. He could make her body hum with just a touch. He held back nothing of himself, giving his all to her each time. The raw honesty of his love pulled an answering response from her. It was trust. She trusted him completely as he trusted her. It was love. He had not battered those walls around her heart, he had undermined them. His love was like a steady strong tide that pulled that careful fortress down. She should be panicked. She should be frantically piling it back up. She knew her defenses were unneeded. The pure strength of his love would protect her. She thought she was not ready for this. It was too soon. Her heart laughed at her head and its silly timetable.
He finally pulled her back into his chest and wrapped his arms around her, holding her close into himself. As he pulled the sheet back over their rapidly cooling bodies, he murmured, "How about those consequences?"
She barely had enough energy to laugh. Instead, she let her body fall back against his heat and strength. Grace smiled and managed a throaty sigh instead. It seemed to get her point across because he dropped a kiss on her shoulder and heard him whisper, "That's a good girl"
They had slept soundly after that. It seemed to Grace that they had even moved closer as their legs tangled up into each other. Even in sleep, each part of their bodies had sought the other; know somehow they belonged forever connected. She could feel him stirring behind her, each and every delicious part of him.
"Good morning my love. How is my little sex goddess this morning?" This was accompanied by a series of tiny nibbling kisses up and down her neck. His hand swept the heavy mane of her hair aside. His other hand was slowly caressing her stomach, working its way back up toward her breasts.
Grace could feel her bones doing that slow melt his touch always produced. She knew she could spend the whole day in bed with him. She also suddenly knew she could spend her life in his arms, being woken up just like this. Well, maybe down the road, being woken by red haired boys and blue eyes girls. Where the hell did that come from?
The thought was endearing and sobering all at the same times. She pulled herself up and looked at him. Wayne laid back, on hand under his head, with a small smile lighting up his eyes. "What's up, baby?"
"Wayne, we can't just stay in bed and not talk. I want to be with you, but we have to figure this all out."
"Ok. You are right. Let me grab a fast shower and dress. I will go get your muffins for you and we will talk over breakfast. He sat up and kissed her hard, holding her face between his large hands. "As long as I know that you do want me, just know that I will do whatever needs."
He kissed her again and stood up, not seeming to notice that he was still nude. Grace noticed. She watched as the muscles played under the warm skin that she had spent most of last night worshipping. He was like classic Greek statue come to life. The art lover in her appreciated the aesthetics of his well formed body. The woman in her warmed to the strength of those muscles, width of his shoulders and power in his legs. The lover in her just wanted to explore and taste each delicious inch. The sensible part of her kept them all from dragging him back to bed, regretfully.
2 showers, 2 muffins, coffee and a tea later, they both finally looked at each other and knew the moment had come. Each knew this would be a crucial conversation. Wayne was aching to just kiss, hold and love her into wanting what he did. Knowing that she needed to make this decision made that ache another crack in his heart. But he had promised her his strength, in whatever form she needed. He waited and let her begin.
"Wayne, this last month has been…a revelation. I have learned so much about myself and what really matters. I know I don't want to be without you. Being at work with you only was just not enough. But if we are together, the secrecy at work would kill me. Although it seems Cho already knows it all?"
"Cho has known how I felt about you from the beginning."
"And he never said anything"
"Well, he's not a big fan of discussing feelings. But he didn't care much. As long as we acted professionally, it really didn't matter to him"
"What about Jane?"
"C'mon Grace, he always knows this kind of thing. You know that. He has been after me to tell you how I felt from the beginning. He has always been putting us together. I never really knew why. I am kind of surprised he hadn't said anything to Lisbon."
"Oh God! Lisbon! Do you think she knows?"
"I don't know, we have been careful at work. She might. Hell, she's usually so busy dealing with the mess Jane creates that I am not sure she even cares that much."
"That's just it. It's so difficult to keep up the pretence at work. I feel like it's hard enough to prove that I belong there without trying to hide a relationship."
"I know you think so, but you have more than earned your spot."
"But I had a really interesting conversation with an A.A.G. named Jack Elliot yesterday…"
"Oh, hell no! That plastic jerk?"
"Wayne, stop. He really is very nice."
"I'll bet he was very nice to you. I can't stand that asshole."
"Really? I thought he had a good rep with the agents."
"Yeah, he might be a decent AAG, but he's just too smooth for my taste"
"Really Wayne?" Grace tried not to laugh at the jealous pout on this big warrior's face. It was almost too funny. He looked for all the world like a little boy at that moment. She could just picture her sons looking……whoa! Kids again. Why did Wayne always make her think of children? She had to stop this now.
"That's not the point. What he said to me was that there are a lot of agents and people within the CBI and AG's office who aren't supposed to date, but do all the time. It's kind of an open secret."
"Well, I know there are people who ignore the rules, but we aren't those kinds of people, Grace. We're the kind who get caught and fired."
"Well, from what Jack said…"
"Jack again?"
"Really, Wayne. Stop. Let me finish."
"Ok. I just don't like you quoting him like that"
"Oh, Wayne, just listen! I have no interest in Jack Elliot. That's the point. He asked me for coffee, we chatted a little; he was going to ask me out. But he didn't because he saw me watching you. YOU, Wayne. For crying out loud, there he was a perfectly nice, good-looking guy who understands my job. I should be all over this. All I could think was he wasn't you. OK? But what really matters is what he told me about dating a co worker."
"You wouldn't have gone out with him?" The pout was gone, but it was replaced by that endearing puppy look. Really, it was amazing a man his size could look like a 6 year old. How cute would their children…again, children. Grace gave herself another mental shake to focus.
"No. Listen, to me Wayne. People in the CBI and AG's office date each other all the time. The real problem is that we are in the same unit. That is the problem we have to solve."
"Do you want to solve this? I know how I feel. I love you. But I don't know what you want. The point behind us not being together was so you could figure this out. I told you I wouldn't pressure you. This is all up to you. I am not going anywhere."
"Oh Wayne. That's just it. I thought this would all be so simple. I could separate my feelings for you and my work. Crap! Why can't we have it both? When we are together, it's so good, it's almost perfect. But then I feel like I am letting the agent I want to be down. When we weren't together, I did great at work. But I was miserable without you. I had my life planned. I thought I would be an agent and maybe down the road, when I was secure, maybe then meet a guy, you know the guy"
She stood up and started pacing up and back in the kitchen as she spoke, pulling at her hair and nervously braiding it as she spoke.
"It was all going to make sense. I plan things. I would be doing well. Well enough that when I met someone, it wouldn't seem like I was tossing it all aside for a guy. My dad wouldn't be able to say I only became a cop to meet a guy, you know? That letting me be an agent was a waste of a spot. You met him, you heard what he thinks of women, me. Not much, you know?"
"Grace, your dad is a bit of a fool. You are a valuable agent and have been from the time you made it through the academy. He has no understanding of you and what you do here. Cho tried to explain it to him. I don't think he would ever appreciate it."
"I know. I saw that when he was here. I kind of hoped that case with USC would have opened his eyes. But anyway, I had a plan. But then I met you. From my first week, you blew my plan apart. I knew you were interested. I tried to ignore it. I tried to pretend you were just interested in some convenient, well, that I was convenient."
"No, Grace, it was never that!"
She stopped pacing long enough to smile at him. He was about to jump up, she could tell. His large hands were spread out on the table. She could see the muscles in his arms tensing under the faded CBI t-shirt. She held her hand up.
"Wayne I know that. I guess I always knew that. It would have been easier for me if you were just a jerk hitting on a pretty face. But you weren't. It was bad enough that you were so good looking, but you were sweet and kind and funny and brave and gentle. I tried to resist you I didn't want to be the girl who slept with the gorgeous guy in my unit. I wanted to be better than that, you know tougher. And I knew they would transfer me first. But then you were drugged and told me you loved me."
"What? When did I do drugs?"
"When you burned your arm in that fire. You were high as a kite and told me how much you loved me. I started to answer you and you fell asleep. I was hoping it was the drugs talking, but then that thing with Dan, and everyone commenting you were in love with me. It was hard to ignore."
"I thought I dreamed saying it to you. I used to have that dream a lot", he admitted sheepishly. She stopped her pacing again and smiled. Could he be any cuter? The man admitted to dreaming about her.
"And then that kiss."
"I felt bad that I never apologized. But I really wasn't sorry about kissing you, just that I did it in public. Since you never mentioned it, I decided not to say anything. It must have been really bad for you"
"No, it was amazing. That was the problem. As soon as you touched me, I melted. I knew I would, but not how badly. I wasn't hypnotized. I had no excuse. Honestly, if they hadn't all been there, I probably wouldn't have walked away from you."
"Really? I thought you were really mad about that."
"I was only mad at my lack of self-control and that everyone saw me lose control. There you were, messing up my plan. You were so shy around me normally, that the kiss was unexpected and great. But I was still afraid of letting go, letting you in. When you finally told me in the wine cellar, I knew it was coming. But I was so hung up on my plan that I completely blanked. If Jane hadn't interrupted us, you were going to really kiss me and I was going to let you. I was terrified. I had a plan."
"You keep talking about a plan. What's the status of that plan now?" Wayne wasn't sure he even wanted to know.
"That's just it. It's been blown away." She stopped and stood in front of him. She wasn't going to run away from this anymore. He had always been honest and direct and bared his soul from the beginning.
"I didn't plan on falling in love with you, but you see, I have…"
He stood so suddenly that the chair flipped over. She was always surprised at the speed a man his size moved. He was like a huge tiger, able to burst into a blur of action at a moments notice, all those muscles moving in concert. Before she could finish the sentence, he had his arms around her and his lips claiming her. After one heart stopping kiss he pulled back and looked into her eyes.
"Tell me again"
The honest raw joy in his eyes demanded no less from her. This moment would stay with them both forever.
"I love you. It seems natural and real now. I don't know why I was afraid of saying it. I love you, Wayne"
"YES!" He shouted it and lifting her, swung her around in a circle, "she loves me!"
"Put me down, you sweet, silly man!"
He stopped and kissed her softly and slowly. Lifting his head, he whispered, "I love you, Grace"
"I love you too, Wayne." She laid her head against his large chest and sighed as his arms tightened around her. She wanted this moment to last forever. But she knew reality had to come and they needed to be prepared for it. Lifting her head, she pushed a little at him.
"Sit down. We still need to solve this"
Kissing her one last time on the head, he picked up the kitchen chair. Turning it around, he straddled it and folded his arms against the back. She tried not to notice how his sitting this way made his biceps stand out.
"Grace, we will figure this out. I will transfer out. Simple. I drop the letter on Lisbon's desk on Monday."
"No, Wayne, you can't! The only logical place for someone with your experience would be to head up your own unit. Why would you say you wanted to go?"
"I dunno. I could say I can't deal with Jane anymore. Everyone would believe that"
"And you would look like you can't handle it and it would count against you. You would never advance."
"Grace, I like what I do. I never really wanted to be a boss. Look at all the paperwork it entails. Doing the detective work, kicking ass, taking names, getting the bad guys. I like being the big guy, the enforcer who can run down a perp. This isn't a sacrifice."
Could he get any sweeter? He was willing to tank any chance of career advancement if it meant being with her. And she had spent months worrying about her career path. She didn't deserve him.
"No, Wayne. That's not the answer. Leaving a major unit like this will be a mark against you. Jack Elliot told me that…"
"Oh shit! Are you going to keep quoting him?"
"Stop it! Listen to me. He told me a lot I didn't really know. He pointed out that I started out in this unit, which was really unusual. I got offers to go to a task force investigating the UC recruiting mess. It would be seen as a step up. I could do this and still be in the CBI. This thing is going to go on for at least a year or so. By then, I could go anywhere. Who knows? By then you might have your own unit."
"But you are so proud of being in this unit. I have heard you on the phone with your parents."
"You know, at one point I was stupid enough to think that was all that mattered. I really believed I could plan out my life that much. Isn't it amazing how falling in love changes you?"
He stood again suddenly. "I want you to think this over carefully. You are making a big change. I want you to be sure. We are not talking about this for the rest of the weekend. And you are not doing anything official until next Friday at the earliest."
Cupping her face into his hands, he traced her features. "Right now, I want you to relax and enjoy the weekend. Let's go back to bed. I want to hear you say it over and over again."
His kiss was gentle and soft, with all the love and promise of future love he could convey.
Ok, the smut and fluff bunnies were really duking it out here, I know. This conversation was really hard to write. One more chapter I think. You all still with me??
