Sorry about not updating. I try to make these funny for you guys, and they are tough to write out. I should write some on my free time when I'm inspired so I have a couple pre-written.

Oh, and thanks so much for all the reviews guys. That meant a lot, Rebellegirl :'D And Soupsullyisepic, I picture them as cats that act and talk like people, but still walk on four paws, etc. They aren't actual people with cat ears or anything XD

Today: Lionblaze (Lion O'Brien)

Next: Ferncloud, from Fern & Dust + 7

EDIT: I lied. Today is Jadecrystal, and next Lion O'Brien.


-chapter nine-

Leafpool, intrigued by Feathertail's stunned silence, crept up to the door, still hiding behind her friend. She was shocked to see her current mortal enemy, Nightcloud, as well as an unfamiliar black she-cat. "Well, hello there," Feathertail finally croaked. She glanced at the stranger and meowed, "And who are you?"

"Jadecrystal," the she-cat responded. "Nightcloud brought me here for something about a show?"

Nightcloud cleared her throat.

"She knows that you two may not listen to anything she says, so she wants me to tell you that she's really sorry for burning down your studio."

Nightcloud kicked her shin.

"Oww... oh, yeah, um, don't want a seventeenth tranquilizer dart in my ass," she muttered, rubbing her butt. "Um, even though I personally would rather not, Nightcloud wants me to take her place on your show."

Leafpool finally stepped out from behind Nightcloud and crossed her arms. "What's the name of our show?"

Jadecrystal raised a kittybrow. "Does it really matter? I'll learn it eventually."

Leafpool frowned, unrelenting. "You gotta know it to be involved with it."

"Um, okay..." Jadecrystal muttered. She hesitated, trying to conjure up something in her head that could mildly be related to the name of Leafpool and Feathertail's apparent show that she had never heard of. Honestly, she only watched TV when something good was on, like her favorite violent classics. Or something involving bombs. She loved bombs. And besides, reading was way better than whatever crap talk show these two she-cats hosted. The thing that had drawn Jadecrystal in to the show when Nightcloud pleaded her to do it was the mention of being paid.

Before she could completely fail a guess, Nightcloud mumbled something. Jadecrystal glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, trying desperately to ignore the cold stares of Leafpool and Feathertail before them. "What?"

"Mmphs Talk Show."

"Mm-" Jadecrystal started, still not having heard Nightcloud correctly.

"No!" Nightcloud hissed. "Crow's mmph Talk Show."

"Crow's..." Jadecrystal started.

"Yessss?" Leafpool meowed.

Finally Jadecrystal got it. "Crow's Ladies Talk Show?"

Feathertail nodded. "Well... done." She rolled her eyes and scowled meaningfully at Nightcloud.

Nightcloud frowned and shrugged innocently.

"Okay, well, I guess we'll interview you for the job," Leafpool announced padding back over to the couch covered with popcorn and rejected popcorn kernels that had been spit out. The tabby glanced at the mess, then in one swift move brushed everything onto the floor. "Excuse the mess," she mewed before sitting down on the couch with a smile. "Sit down," she invited Jadecrystal.

Trying not to wrinkle her nose in disgust, Jadecrystal walked over and sat gingerly on the very edge of the couch. Nightcloud started to enter the house, but winced as if the floor was made of hot rocks, not crusty carpet, when she saw Leafpool glare at her.

Swiftly the black she-cat spun around and slammed the door. Feathertail, Leafpool, and Jadecrystal could hear her open and close the car door, then speed off. Jadecrystal glanced away from the door and at Leafpool. "... hey."

"Hello," Leafpool muttered stonily. She yelled towards the back room, "Feathertail, what's taking so long?"

"Sorry!" Feathertail sped into the room and threw a clipboard and pencil at Leafpool. The tabby caught the clipboard, but the pencil hit her nose and fell to the ground as she gazed at Feathertail.

"My lucky pencil?" she hissed.

o3o

After much preparation, the interview began. Leafpool decided to act like she was on the show, and Feathertail soon caught on too.

"So, Jadecrystal," Leafpool mused, tapping her chin with a pencil reading "AY" (formerly a HAPPY BIRTHDAY pencil that was worn down to the flattened eraser, almost). "Anyone special in your life?"

Jadecrystal scooted all way to the armrest opposite of the one Leafpool was perched up on. "Um, no."

Feathertail smirked. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not," the black she-cat insisted. "Look, this isn't even related to job-like stuff. Don't you need my resumé or-"

"If you know what our show is about," Leafpool said, "then you should know what you need to get this job."

Jadecrystal shrunk back, spooked by her tone. Then she got it, and rolled her eyes. "So, I need to have dated Crowfeather?"

Feathertail skipped over to the light switch and dimmed the lights a bit. At the same time, she and Leafpool slyly whispered, "Yes."

Jadecrystal groaned.

Very quickly, Leafpool added, "And, for it to really count, have kits with him-"

Feathertail cuffed her over the ear and turned to Jadecrystal, turning the lights back on all the way. "I just had a little affair with Crowy when we were younger, but then I died. He only had kits with Leafpool and Nightcloud, so they've always thought they're more important to him than me." She chuckled. "And yet, his name is Crowfeather."

"That means nothing," Leafpool growled.

"No, actually, he asked to be named after me, so," Feathertail smirked. She didn't have to say anything else.

There was silence. Then Jadecrystal asked, "Just one date?"

The two tabbies nodded. "Just one date," they confirmed in unison.


XD