Will

You know how you think you know someone and then they go and surprise you? That realization that what you thought was so backwards and turned around that it can never be associated with anything else without you thinking of the time you were wrong.

Yeah, that just happened to me.

I can hardly believe who it came from, too. I never expected in a million years for Hector Barbossa to defend my ex-fiancée. He asked to speak to me, and I told him sure. Then we stepped into his cabin, and I really couldn't believe the reaction I received from him. It truly shocked me. He told me that if I hurt her once more that he swore on the pain of birth that he'd kill me.

I tried to deny that I'd hurt her, but the look on her face has scarred me. I'll never be able to look at either of them with the same feelings. She watched through the window, but not at Barbossa- not between the two of us.

She stared right at me. Right at me, and our eyes connected because I was too stubborn to look away. And I tell you now, that I couldn't withstand that much pain again. I could feel what she was feeling, and it felt as if my heart was being forcedly ripped from my chest.

I actually have some nonviolent questions now.

Was she telling the truth? Is that really how she was feeling? How huge of a mistake have I made? Have I made one at all? Is it really that all she wants is me? Or is there something more? Did she send Barbossa to talk to me? Or is he feeling paternal because of how hurt she seems? Are those real tears welling up in her eyes? Is she just faking it? Is my life turned upside down? Or is this the way it was destined to be? Will I ever be able to understand her? Am I just making this whole thing a bigger mystery than it actually is? What if I did make a mistake? What if she really is hurting that badly? What if her tears are real? What if I never love again? What if I stay a pirate? What if I don't? What if I change? What if my soul darkens and I become as bitter as Barbossa- who has very little feeling, or does he have more than he lets on? What if I change my name and disappear so I never have to deal with these people again? What if I let myself get eaten by the Kraken? Will it take away my pain? Or will it make it worse? What if the sky turns to fire and my nose falls off?

Okay, a little exaggeration there; but still. I have certainly grown to hate What-Ifs. They haunt my mind every day and night, and I lose quite a bit of sleep over them. Especially a chosen few of the above. I just know that somehow I am wrong about something, or even a whole bunch of things, and the rest of them will never let me forget it if I'm wrong and later start doubting something.

I look back in my journal now, and see how already my words were traced with bitterness and a unique hatred. Not hatred of a person, as I tried to make it seem. But it is a hatred of the situation; this being trapped here and not being sure of things. That's what it truly is. And I was finally able to admit that. OH! Wow, remember this? "The sun that you believe is now setting, is only just beginning to rise." I wonder if I could find meaning in it now?

Will

Hector

Alright. So, the yelling at the whelp helped extremely, except for the fact that now Miss Swann has been taken by our "friends" who were "helping" us search for the Kraken. They stole her during the night, and we've no idea where they are, for their ships are as silent as Death, and quick as it also.

So, Miss Swann has disappeared. That is wonderful.

NOT.

And we're OFF! On an extra adventure, that all of us wish would have never happened. But we're catching up to the Flying Dutchman, and I'm not sure whether to abandon this cause for the sake of another.

The decisions of a captain… Sorry for the short entry, but my heart is quite troubled at this, and I should think rather than write, and consult the other members on the crew instead of making this decision like I normally do by myself; it just makes more sense to do so.

H. Barbossa