The Therapist

"Hello there," the mabu said as he seated himself on a chair with a notebook. "I am Jed, and I will be your therapist today."

They were in a cosy, yet somewhat gloomy room that was overstocked with jars of blueberries.

Jed noticed that his patient was eyeing them.

"Oh, them? I enjoy the squishy noise they make when I squeeze them. Wanna try?" he offered the skylander a blueberry.

"I'll pass," Wash Buckler said.

"More for me," Jed shrugged. "Anyway, what seems to be the problem, pal?"

"Well, my team forced me to come here because I thought that one of them was my son," Wash Buckler explained, realising how stupid it sounded out loud.

"Hmm, I see," Jed wrote something quickly in his note book, then questioned formally, "And what is this teammate's name?"

"Freeze Blade."

"Ah, yes. Freeze Blade…" he continued writing in his notebook, then looked up at Wash Buckler, who seemed uncomfortable. "Something the matter?"

"Well, I can't seem to not take notice that I am tied to a chair," the mermasquid said, an unamused expression on his face.

"Oh, my apologies for that, Wash Buckler," said Jed. "But we have had past experiences with patients who have tried to escape. So now we are always on guard."

"I also noticed that all my friends are tied to chairs too," Wash Buckler motioned to the six other skylanders surrounding him. "Yet they don't need therapy."

"Ah, well," Jed started to explain. "We do things just a tad differently than the other therapists here in Skylands. You see, everyone in the universe other than me is imperfect, therefore, we believe that you all need therapy."

"What makes you think you're so great?" Dr Krankcase snapped at the therapist.

"Well that's not very nice," Jed remarked, checking something off on his notebook. "Anyway, let's start with you, Wash Buckler. Tell me more about this 'Freeze Blade as your son' situation."

"Anything to get this over with as soon as possible," the mermasquid muttered almost to himself. "Well, it all began a few days ago, when Freeze Blade had revealed to me that he was sadly an orphan. So then I adopted him."

There was a silent pause, before Jed asked, "So, uhh, that's all there is to it?"

"Basically."

"Hm, well you're boring. NEXT!"

One of Jed's workers shoved Wash Buckler's chair aside roughly and brought in Chompy Mage's.

Chompy Mage glanced around, blinking rapidly, "This is weird. Why am I here? You're all creeps."

Jed wrote something down in his notebook and muttered, "You lot are just full of insults aren't you?" He looked up to realise that one of the chairs had no one on it. "Where is your friend, Rattle Shake?"

"He managed to escape and crashed through the window saying something about abandoning us," Knight Light explained briefly.

"I see," the therapist sighed dryly. "Then the rest of you will have to do."
"What do you mean?" King Pen asked. "What do you mean 'we'll have to do'? Doesn't that mean less work for you?"

"Oh, well you see, being a therapist isn't my job. I just wanted to do it because I want to point out the flaws in everyone in Skylands, resulting in everyone feeling like they're a horrible person and that I am, in every way, perfect."

The skylanders blinked, slightly confused.

"That is wrong on so many levels," Dr Krankcase said.

"Yeah, I'm starting to wonder if you need therapy yourself, Jed," Freeze Blade said in a mocking voice.

"I DO NOT NEED THERAPY FOR I AM BEAUTIFUL UNLIKE YOU GROSS MORTALS!" Jed shrieked at the ice cat. "Ahem. Anyway, Chompy Mage, is it?"

"And Chompy Puppet!" Chompy Mage said, hugging his puppet protectively.

Jed rolled his eyes, "Uhh, I see." He wrote something down, then looked back up at the mage. "Do you… really believe that this puppet is alive?"

"I'm alive as can be!" The Chompy Puppet said. "Why? Do you doubt my existence?"

"I have to admit, I do."

"YOU DARE INSULT THE MAGE'S PUPPET?!" the puppet screeched at the therapist.

"Hush! There, there puppet," Chompy Mage said comfortingly, then scowled at Jed. "I believe in you."

"We don't have time for this," Jed muttered. "Goodbye." He motioned to his guards, who yanked Chompy Mage out of the way. "NEXT!"

"I doubt you are going to find any imperfect traits about me," King Pen said calmy as the therapist examined him.

"I already have - your ego. You think you're so wise and so smart, but you're really just a dumb penguin!"

"Honestly, you can't really say anything," King Pen remained tranquil.

"GAH! Yes I can! Because I am your therapist!"

"I think you're only being like this because you have your very own insecurities."

"What? NO, OF COURSE I DON'T!" Jed yelled. He paused, then wailed, "WHO AM I KIDDING? I'M A FAILURE! A FAILURE I SAY!"

"Heh, just kidding," King Pen's attitude changed quickly.

"W-what?"

"I think you're like this just because you're gross and no one likes you-"

"NEXT!"

"Ouch," King Pen said as the guards hurled him into the wall.

They shoved Dr Krankcase in front of the therapist.

Jed asked harshly, "Now, what's wrong with you?"

"Why don't you decide since you seem to be so good at pointing out our flaws?" Krankcase spat aggressively.

"Alright," Jed said harshly. "Obviously your biggest flaw is your disrespectful manner."

"I'm polite to people that deserve it," the doctor said. "So you might as well get used to it."

"I AM YOUR THERAPIST YOU MUST LOVE ME!" Jed screeched in his face.

"I honestly don't think any of us are going to 'love you' after this," Krankcase remarked. "In fact, I think you have more flaws than all of us combined - well that's pushing it - but still, you're nowhere near perfection."

"Excuse me? Who is the therapist here?" Jed raised his voice, clearly on the verge of exploding into madness.

"You should really rethink your life choices."

"I AM SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE WHO INSULTS YOU!" Jed erupted.

"You should also get that temper under control," Dr Krankcase said with a humorous tone.

"UGH JUST GO AWAY!" Jed shouted at him, not thinking.

The doctor motioned to the ropes that secured him, "That's going to be a bit difficult."

"Fine then!" Jed barked. "NEXT PATIENT, GUARDS!"

Immediately the guards replaced Krankcase with Knight Light.

"Yay, I finally get a turn!" the trap master cheered.

"Well, you're naïve, aren't you?"

"Naïve? What's naïve?"

Jed sighed and carried on, "Tell me, Knight Light. What do you usually spend your free time doing?"

"Usually baking muffins for Spy Rise," Knight Light replied. "It takes up a lot of my time."

"Wait, so you waste most of your day serving your friends?" Jed questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"You could put it that way. But I am the only one who can cook, so that automatically makes me responsible for breakfast, dinner and lunch."

"So let me get this straight," the therapist said seriously. "You're a slave to your friends and you don't get to do anything other than cook for them?"

Knight Light turned to the others behind him, whose expressions all said, that's not true! DON'T ADMIT IT! It'll just give him a way to put you down! He turned back to the therapist and said simply, "Yup."

The others groaned.

"My, I like you already," Jed remarked. "You're upfront about your many issues unlike your unprofessional friends here."

"Oh, I have no problems," Knight Light told him politely. "In fact, I love cooking for all my friends."

"But what about all the other stuff you enjoy? There isn't any time for those!" said Jed, trying to come up with an excuse for why the light skylander should feel miserable.

"My real talents are baking and blinding people with my constant luminosity."

"That is one hundred percent true," Chompy Mage backed him up. "I am still blind from yesterday!"

Knight Light gave him an apologetic look, then turned back to the therapist.

"Ugh, why are you so happy?" Jed asked him impatiently.

"There's nothing to really be sad about," Knight Light replied.

Jed told him, clearly irritated, "Well then, I don't have time for people who don't realise that they have issues. NEXT!"

The guards placed the last team member in the room in front of Jed - Spy Rise. He scowled at the therapist edgily. Dark shadows seemed to lurk in the spyder's presence.

"Spy Rise, my last patient for the day," Jed said professionally. "What can I help you with?"

Spy Rise stayed silent.

"Can you please speak up?

Nothing.

"You can't tell me what's wrong with you?"

He didn't say a word, just stared at him edgily.

His teammates were clearly enjoying this.

"Alright…" Jed said in thought as he noted something down in his notebook. "Anti-social…" he looked back to the spyder. "You know, you're really creepy right?"

He kept staring.

"What are you looking at exactly?" Jed stammered. "Are you deep in thought, or are you actually trying to freak me out?"

After another brief pause, Jed started writing something else in his notebook. He looked up back at the spyder, only to realise that he wasn't there.

"Huh?" he said, confused.

"Boo," an edgy voice rang in his ear.

He jumped, startled to see Spy Rise on the back of the couch where he was sitting.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK?!" he screamed at the spyder. "You people are WEIRD!"

"That's the point," Dr Krankcase told him.

"Well, it seems that we're all done here," said Wash Buckler hopefully. "So I'm assuming we can all leave now-"

"No," Jed said, fury rising up inside him. "You're not going anywhere."

"And why is that?" Freeze Blade questioned.

"Because you don't deserve getting away after you all disrespected me as a therapist!"

"Too late," a voice said.

The therapist turned to see Rattle Shake, alongside his teammates, who were now free.

"HOW DID I NOT SEE YOU?!" Jed bellowed furiously. "GUARDS, GET THEM SO I CAN MAKE THEM FEEL BAD ABOUT THEMSELVES!"

The two guards immediately sprang into action, but so did the skylanders.

"This is child's play," King Pen said as he trapped them under an iceberg.

"Yup," Freeze Blade agreed. "Could he have not made us fight ten of them or something?"

"The important thing is that we can get back to the base now."

"NOT YET SKYLANDERS!" Jed rose from his chair dramatically and stood in a fighting position. "You have to get through me first!"

Dr Krankcase walked towards him until he was standing in front of him. "You do realise you pose no threat to us, right?"

Jed growled and kicked one of the doctor's wooden legs, only to immediately regret it. "OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

The others burst out laughing behind them.

Dr Krankcase gently pushed him backwards, sending the pathetic mabu crashing onto the floor.

"Come on guys," Wash Buckler said, leading the way to the door. "Let's get back home."

"Gladly," Freeze Blade said gratefully.

As they exited the building, Jed the therapist was still lying on the floor like a ragdoll.

The End.

Written by Uni.