Author's notes: We think that we are nearing the end of the story but may be persuaded to write more by people reviewing?
Disclaimer: still got nothing *goes off in huff*
Through the Darkness Chapter Nine
Emily jumped out the vehicle as soon as it was outside Hotch's apartment. She had tried phoning him on her way over multiple times but each time it had rung out. It had been almost 3 hours since Hotch had overheard the conversation, since he had been left thinking that she had cheated on him. She couldn't even begin to imagine what was going through Hotch's mind at that time. She knew it might be hard convincing Hotch that she hasn't and never would cheat on him without telling him the truth. However she was also unsure of which she would rather have him deal with; her cheating on him, or the loss of his unborn child, of which he had no idea existed.
She ran into the apartment building and straight to his door. She knocked on the door, however heard no movement on the other side. She knew he had made it here ok, his SUV was parked out the front. She knocked louder, but still no reply.
"Aaron... I know you're in there, please let me in." It was returned by silence. "Aaron, come on please."
A few seconds later she heard movement coming from inside the apartment. The door was then unlocked and opened. Hotch stood at the other side, not even looking at Emily, just walking away, leaving her to enter herself and close the door.
Hotch stood at one end of the living room, with Emily at the other. Emily tried to read him, tried to see if there was anything in his eyes that would let her know what he was thinking, let her know how she should approach him, but she couldn't. As usual, Hotch had put his mask on and was letting no-one through. They stood in silence both unsure of what to say.
Unable to contain herself anymore, Emily broke the silence. "Aaron, what you heard... or rather... what you ... erm, think you heard it's... it's not true. I wouldn't, I couldn't do that to you, to us."
"And what was it you believe that I THOUGHT I heard?" Hotch relied, his voice stern and calm, revealing nothing of his emotions.
Emily stared at her feet, trying to find the right words. "JJ said that you think that I am... that I've been seeing another guy." She looked back up at Hotch, meeting only a stare she normally saw him give Strauss. "I haven't. You've got to believe me. You've completely misunder-"
"Misunderstood have I! What's not to understand? What other 'event' could the three of you have been referring to? What is it that you can't tell me because it would tip me over the edge?" His voice was rising as his anger grew.
"Just believe me when I tell you that I never cheated on you." Emily closed the gap between her and Hotch, standing in front of him. She raised her hand to meet his cheek. "I've never lied to you before, I'm not going to start now. Trust me, please."
Hotch pulled away and moved towards the chair, sitting on it with his head in his hands. He ran his hand through his hair before looking up to find Emily sitting on the sofa next to him.
Hotch took a breath in, calming himself down before talking. "If you haven't slept with someone else, then what is it that you felt you couldn't talk to me about? Why did you turn to JJ and Penelope instead of turning to me for help?"
"Because I couldn't face you. I still can't. The thought of telling you what happened scares me, because it makes it all the more real and I don't want it to be." Her eye's began to well up, one tear sliding down her cheek.
Seeing the look in Emily's eyes, the pain she was going through and the fear of what she knew was to come, Hotch knew she had to be telling the truth. Hotch let his mask slip, and met Emily eyes. "Face me about what? Emily, please, just tell me. What is it?"
Emily drew a breath. She knew there was only one way to tell him. "When you took me to the hospital, and they tried to stop the internal bleeding...." Hotch nodded moving his hand onto her lap "they found something else, or rather... I lost something else..." Her voice was barely audible, Hotch was unable to catch her last few words. The tears came freely to Emily now. She was shaking uncontrollably. Hotch moved to her side, wrapping his arm around her back, hoping that he would be able to hear her.
Emily looked up at Hotch, "I was pregnant Aaron." She whispered, her voice wavering.
Hotch's eyes widened as the realisation set it as to what she said. She was pregnant. "Did... did you know?"
Breaking eye contact, Emily put her head in her hands. She shook her head. This was the thing that was tearing her up the most. Sure she was heartbroken that the lost her child, but what hurt more was that she didn't know it had existed.
Hotch didn't know what to say. He felt guilty for even thinking that she could have cheated on him. He should have known. He pushed her away, just when she needs him most. He moved and closed the gap between them pulling her close to him so her head rested on his shoulder "I'm so sorry." He whispered in her ear. "Emily…"
They sat on the couch in each others arms, both crying over their lost child for what seemed like hours. Eventually they were both exhausted from the tears that fell before. They just curled up and feel asleep tangled together both realising that something was missing, and it was lost forever.
Author's note: Again not a happy chapter sorry about that but there is still more...
