Chapter Nine – Time To Think

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WARNING: This is what drinking alcopops while depressed and listening to Point Break (THE best band ever...) over and over produces.

A/N – Don't hit me! I know I left this a tad too long before updating, but I'm here now. I've just read the whole story again, and wow its dramatic! This chapter is the thoughts of different people waiting to see if they'd live or die. With a bit of drama… ^_^ I'm an action addict, you see.

"Dreaming of a beautiful end, these wounds don't heal easy... but I'm trying to mend..." Point Break - You

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Cid

That f%*#ing Meteor crash is still going on, and everything seems to be holding up. Everyone's safe here with us... except for Cloud and Tifa. We couldn't find them anywhere. Damn I hope they're safe; I can't see it though. Huddled around me are the remaining members of Avalanche. They all have their heads bowed and sit in silence, because they are missing their loveable if headstrong leader and their most bubbly, likeable member. The gods be with them; they are out there somewhere. We all pray that they are safe, but the fact is that they are probably not alright. We have to hold Vincent and Yuffie back from going to look for them. Later on we will. Planet, be with them until we can be with them. If anything happens, I dunno what I'll do.

Tifa

When my grandchildren ask me what I was doing when Meteor hit, I'll tell them that I was lying in an earthy pit with the love of my life. Pah. There's hope, but who knows whether we'll live to have grandchildren? And the bigger question is… who knows whether Cloud will live to start a family with me?

He's lying with an arm around me, my head resting on his chest so that I can hear if he stops breathing. He's already done that once. He's broken his legs, his arm and lots of ribs and cracked his head off the floor, he tells me. Add to this the fact that we are laid in a deep hole with no way out, practically buried where nobody knows where we are and nobody could see us even if they were to pass by; I think we're in a good position. A good position to die unnoticed, that is...

I can't believe that this is all my fault. I wont ever forgive myself, even if we are all fine in the end. It's my fault Cloud has to go through so much agony; it's my fault that we will probably never be found. I am so pathetic; I deserved to die in Meteor. It isn't over yet; the shaking of the ground is terrifying. The heat takes your breath away. I don't care though. All I care about is this person lying underneath me, gasping for breath. I am in terrible pain; but I have only half the injuries that Cloud has. I feel guilty feeling pain, even though I know that's stupid. Poor Cloud. My hand is cupped over his mouth to make sure he can breathe despite the falling shower of dusty soil. I can hardly see him now. His eyes are not glowing as brightly as normal. It's not the dirt that's causing that, because he is shielding his face with his own hand. No, it just seems to me that he's fading, fast. I can hear what a struggle it is for him to keep breathing. But even if I have to breathe for him, I will keep him alive as long as I possibly can.

I don't even want to think about him dying. He tells me that I'd have to go on, but I know fine well that I couldn't even take one step. I'd sooner die here. A person cant live without a heart and soul. My heart and soul are with Cloud always. He dies, I die. Simple as that, really. Every so often he looks up at me and gives me a wink or a smile, anything to show he's still conscious. We aren't talking now. The mud is still falling and the ground is still shaking as violently as ever; at a time like this the whole planet will be silent, hoping to discover its fate soon. I know it will be a while longer till we discover ours.

Cloud gives a little giggle; a sound that brings tears to my eyes because I know how much energy it will have taken to make just that little comforting sound. He lifts his head slightly and looks directly into my eyes with a look that has made my heart melt and my legs go weak, or at least the leg that wasn't numb from the pain. A look of love, of dependence. Please don't let this be his goodbye, I pray to whoever might be listening. Aeris; don't let him die. We all need him more than you could imagine... Cloud lays his head back down and for the first time in what seems like ages he speaks, gasping while he does so, but his voice is like the sweetest chocobo song.

"You know, normally I'd get a bit excited with you in this position..." he chuckles, his personality shining through perfectly with that one sentence. Looking down our bodies, I realise what he means. He's right; in normal conditions I wouldn't have been able to stay calm in this position for very long, with my hips placed right above his, one leg on each side. I laugh along with him. I didn't even notice I was sat like that until he pointed it out. Mmm... when this was all over I was gonna get him as excited as he wanted... just thinking about it sent shivers up my spine. I think I shivered visibly, because Cloud gave me this knowing look, as if to say 'I know what you're thinking about...' I stop thinking about it because I know I'm blushing. Besides, the impact is over, I realise...

The ground has stopped shaking almost, with just the occasional shudder. The noise and heat has about died out, back to normal levels. The dust has stopped falling. Meteor has done its worst, I believe. And it seems like we are alright...

I slowly lift myself off Cloud, trying not to hurt him. I guess I didn't. He gives me this little disappointed sound as I flop onto the ground next to him. We turn our heads at the same time. Cloud gives me this little wink and a cute, little boy smile. I smile back. I can't help it. He's so cute... I leant over and kissed him as tenderly as I could without using a hand to support his head. Once again he starts using his tongue to explore my mouth. Damn, he can kiss. It makes me melt into a little puddle of Tifa; and he's not on top form at the moment either! I don't know why I get so weak over a simple kiss... its what he always does to me. Chemistry, I guess. Well, the sex should be good then... I giggle in my throat as I think about that. Cloud doesn't seem to mind. He's running his fingers through my hair now. Better stop, I guess... need to get him out of here. Just how, I don't know; seeing as we have a sum total of one good leg between us, and two good arms. I kneel up and support the other side of my body with my arm. Somehow, I manage to move myself into a sitting position without hurting myself too much. I can then lean over and brush all the soil from around us away. Cloud catches my hand as I finish and entwines my fingers with his. I lean over. He's in as good a condition as he has been for a bit. Better than before he spoke; then I was just waiting for him to say goodbye. I thought he was gone for sure... maybe there is someone looking over us somewhere.

I look into the eyes of the only man I have truly loved. He's full of hope, I can see... and he's bearing so much pain. I know his too well for him to hide that. I feel so guilty... "Cloud... I'm so sorry... I caused this to happen to you..." I bowed my head, fresh tears spilling out as I thought how close he must have been to giving up and dying right here in my arms. My life meant nothing at all without him here beside me to hold, to cry with, laugh with, and start a family with. I knew that was for sure; I had given up on life myself, and in doing so I had hurt the only thing that gave my life meaning. The one who had given me a new chance at life. How cruel fate was...

Cloud was watching me as I looked up again. There was a different kind of hurt in his eyes; an emotional one. "You think I could ever blame you for this? I love you more than anything... this is nothing to have to go through if it results in me having you..." He let go of my hand and wiped the tears away gently, his fingers resting softly on my bottom lip. I kissed them tenderly. I understood what he was saying. I, too, would have gone through all this for him. But that would never clear my guilt at seeing him twisted and broken because I tried to take the coward's way out. "Besides..." he carried on, "I love you more than myself... I got these injuries but you didn't, and I'm happy because of that." He smiled at me. "And it's not just me that this happened to... we're in this together. That's all I'll ever need; you by my side..." That did it. I burst into tears and ignored the pain; I rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed my neck so gently he hardly touched me, but it was heaven. I never thought love could be so powerful... so powerful it didn't matter what happened now. We'd be together through it all.

Cloud

I nearly gave into the darkness.

I hate myself for even thinking that I wasn't strong enough to do it, for even thinking it was all over.

The colours swirling around my head were blinding. The pain was getting worse with every minute I lay on that bouncing earth. I cried and cried, but silently. I never gave out so much as a sob. I vowed two things; that I would never let Tifa hear me cry out in pain, and that I would never EVER let myself become as weak as I was that time when I gave it all up.

Both vows tested me so much... my body ached with every breath I took in and every beat of my heart. My legs hurt the most; a beam had somehow fallen in with us and was cutting into them. The Meteor was bouncing us up and down and so the beam kept up a steady assault on my smashed limbs. My chest was completly caved in, I could feel it was destroyed. I dont know how I managed to keep breathing, and whatever the odds were on me not having a punctured lung and pierced heart were I dont know, but I didn't have either. I think I'm the luckiest person just to be alive at the moment. My arm was hurting, but not as much as the rest. It became somewhat overshadowed... My head was painful but the most painful part of my head was inside of it... I'm not looking forward to the hours of surgery I'm gonna have to go through after this is over either!

I think it was the pain sending me crazy. I wouldn't let myself fall unconscious, no way; I would probably die from choking on either soil or the contents of my own stomach. I was sick many times, during which Tifa held my head and made sure I was alright. It's not a question of whether I'd be alright without her beside me. Id have curled up and died as soon as I hit the floor. She kept me alive. After she'd saved me from my own death, I lay there in her arms and tried to keep myself conscious. The waves of sickness washed over me, as did the waves of pain in my head.

I tried and tried to keep myself there, concentrating on Tifa and how I felt about her. I could have cried because she loved me, I could have cried because I hurt her when I pulled her in; but none of these thoughts managed to keep me sane. The only though that stuck in my mind was of how I felt when she was slashed at during the Nibelheim incident. I concentrated on every little detail of that; over and over. Eventually my mind faded out, as did my strength. I felt that I was dying; I couldn't even raise the strength to say goodbye to Tifa. I couldn't even look at her. It was like something was controlling my body. My mind screamed out to do these things, but my body just wouldn't cooperate.

I almost gave up.

All I could do was keep my eyes open, even though they had rolled back in my head somewhat. I tried and tried to move, but couldn't. I felt the spinning sensation in my head, and heard the buzzing noise again. I knew that this time, Teef wouldn't notice quick enough to bring me back. It was all over…

And then, Tifa shifted her body, well her hips… and part of me reacted. The part of my brain that lusts for her. I realised the position that she was laid on me in. And somehow… this thought calmed the waves of death that were so close to drowning me. I concentrated frantically. On her beautiful long silky hair, her expressive eyes that held so much love, her creamy coloured skin, her perfect figure. On how much I wanted her.

And this may sound shallow, but the physical side of her brought me back. I guess its because I was prompted by her moving on me; if she had told me she loved me at that moment I would have concentrated on that. Why am I making excuses? I love her body almost as much as her… Mmm, I am so gonna have her when I get better. Heehee. Hm… Better stop thinking of that, or she'll notice…hahaha!

Well, now we're lying here still… nothings changed. I'm completely better now; its subsided, the death that so nearly claimed me. Tifa seems to have got over the thought that she was to blame. She's not. I'm happy that this happened. If it hadn't, I'd still be grieving for Aeris and not realising how much I loved Tifa. This is the best thing that happened to me.

Even so, we have to get out quickly; the walls could collapse in. I wonder if there's any way to get in touch with the others? The PHS might get a signal here, because the transmitter is right above us at Corel. Lets see… Barrett hadn't got his PHS, and neither had Cid or Yuffie. I don't think anyone had them… hang on, Vincent had his still strapped to his belt beside his gun. He always keeps it by him.

"Teef… do you have your PHS on ya?" She looks at me, surprised. "No, why?… Do you think…" I nodded. "Get mine out will ya? Its in my right pocket…" She reaches across my body to reach the pocket. I'm trying to control these waves of lust that once saved my life, but now would do no good at all… Well, that was difficult. Phew… Ok, my PHS only has one point of signal out of ten. That's bad. Well, if I can just ring Vincent's PHS he'll know it was me. He'll know we are alright; well ok then, we aren't exactly alright but we're alive. Fingers crossed… it could be our only chance. Hopefully old Vinnie has some signal on his PHS…

Vincent

I can't believe we haven't gone for Cloud and Tifa yet. Barrett is trying to tell me they're dead. He's crying, and so are all the other Avalanchers. But I wont believe that Cloud and Tifa have died until I see it. They are the strongest two characters I have seen for so long. They wouldn't just give up. If they are together, they'll be alright for sure, because those two help each other through everything that's in their way. I'm not standing for this anymore. Right, I've found a torch. Bye bye. I'm going. Hmm hang on, is that my PHS? Oh my Planet, it's Cloud. He only managed one single ring of the tone. His PHS isn't responding to my returns. But that means he's alright, if he managed to ring out. Hold on friend, I'm coming.

Well, I've just walked out and the only person who has come to help me is Yuffie. Cid wanted to but couldn't because he had to take care of Shera, who isn't well. So it's just Yuffie and me. That's alright, I like Yuffie; she's a great person under the materia fetish.

We walked around the surroundings of the refuge cave, hoping that they were there, but I couldn't see them at all. Yuffie was crying still, I realised. I uncomfortably put an arm around her. "They'll be alright…" She nodded and nuzzled into me. It was strange, but it didn't feel at all awkward.

We walked around the entrance to the higher up, first refuge cave; thinking they might be near. We searched all over, and then Yuffie pointed out the collapsed corridor. "Do you think they…" I looked at it, then at her. "Could be an easy mistake to make, that turn… ok, let's check it out…" We dug in silence, Yuffie with her shruiken and me with my claw. It didn't take long to break through into the actual uncollapsed corridor.

I saw Yuffie take an huge breath, and then she screamed louder than I have ever heard anyone scream. "CLOOUD!! TEEEEFFF!! ARE YOU HERE? CLOOOUDDD!!!!!" I winced. Ow. She gasped for breath. I walked a bit further down. My hearing was excellent; always had been since Hojo altered me somehow. I heard a very faint cry. I grabbed Yuffie's arm and pulled her along. "Come on, they're down here…"

I'm not squeamish, but Yuffie is. So when we found the hole in the wall, and looked down on Tifa and more significantly Cloud, I had to hold on to Yuffie to prevent her falling in. Because she passed out straight away. And I must admit, for the first time in my life my head spun and I was nearly sick. What pain Cloud must be feeling yet he was still conscious… His love for Tifa was about as strong as mine for Lucrecia was. It got us through anything…but Cloud and Tifa needed my help now. I laid Yuffie down on the floor and consoled Tifa and Cloud. I'd be back, I promised. I ran to get Barrett and Cid, and anyone strong enough to help.