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UNTIL I FIND A BETTER PART OF ME
Chapter Eight
Usually, Charlie would enjoy the holidays at the Burrow. Having such a big family meant the entire place would be bustling with people. Conversations would be flying about like crazy. It was the Burrow. It felt like his childhood – it felt like home. However, it didn't really feel like a wonderful Christmas when he watched Ron leer and grope at Hermione when he thought nobody was looking. He had caught Ron feeling up Hermione in the kitchen when he had walked in with a stack of dirty dishes. He watched Hermione attempt to fight off Ron's hands as he came in. They had split apart quickly at the intrusion and Ron just smirked as he left the kitchen leaving Hermione and himself alone. When he handed her the stack of dishes, she blushed taking them from him. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. He wanted grab her up in his arms and show again how a real man treated a woman.
He sighed, realizing this was probably his fault. When he had taken the hangover potion Hermione brewed, the memories of the night before had flooded through him. He should have addressed it then, but he hadn't. He regretted it now, because there was slight strain now in his friendship with Hermione. He remembered what Saraya had said. The more Hermione slipped away, the more he felt it within himself. He walked back into the living room and sat back down across from Bill and Fleur. He was so deep in thought that he hadn't realized both Bill and Fleur were looking straight at him expectantly.
"Sorry, mate, you're in deep," Bill told him, with a chuckle as he put an arm around Fleur.
Confused, Charlie looked from Bill to Fleur. "I'm in deep?"
"Ah, l'amour," Fleur said dreamily.
"Um, what're you two on about now?"
"You're in love, Charlie."
Charlie's eyes widened in surprise at Bill's response. He was about to protest, but he paused a moment then looked down at his hands. He began to nod his head in agreement at their observations. There was no point in denying it. He looked up when the door to kitchen opened, revealing Hermione walking through. Her eyes automatically met his instinctively and he held her gaze. He enjoyed the blush that delightfully crossed her cheeks. She glanced over at Bill and Fleur who had also turned to see who came in. Both of them were smiling knowingly. He watched Hermione give them a little way before she headed upstairs.
Fleur caught Charlie's attention when she leaned forward and patted his knee.
"Go for it, Charlie."
"I wouldn't wait," Bill told him, taking a gulp of his eggnog. "You'll be heading back to Romania soon. You don't want to waste anymore time."
"I know. It's just very complicated with Hermione and myself at the moment..." he trailed off, pausing a moment as he wondered if he should confide in them about his situation.
He took a deep breath then began to explain the entire situation with Hermione, leaving nothing out. They were all in the midst of discussing it when he heard raised voices arguing upstairs. All of them frowned, looking up the steps. It sounded like Hermione and Ron. Without another thought, they all got up and slowly climbed the steps upstairs.
The moment Hermione set foot upstairs and started towards walk to Bill and Charlie's old room, she should've known Ron would be waiting for her. He was leaning up against the wall nearby the room. It was too late to pretend that she hadn't seen him and turn back around to head back downstairs. Ever since that night with Charlie, she had been avoiding Ron. When he sent owls, she would respond back with an evasive note stating she was preoccupied. Every note of Ron's had become even more explicit with details of what he would do with her when he saw her next. Now at the Burrow together, they were put in a position that they would have to face each other.
She nervously approached Ron, wondering what he had planned. From the way he had been looking at her and his case of the grabby hands, she was not at all looking forward to this confrontation. She was trying to put it off the best she could, but unfortunately, it was time to face the music. Ron smirked, grabbing her about the waist. He pressed his mouth against hers. She tensed at the sudden movement. All she could think of was Charlie and the way he had kissed her thoroughly and intensely. The man had ruined her without knowing he had.
She pushed her hands against Ron's chest, forcing distance between them. When his body gave away, she quickly took some steps back.
"Ron, please, I think it's time we truly go our separate ways."
He frowned at her words. "What're you on about, Hermione? I think we have a good arrangement here. Why jeopardize a good thing?"
"Because we need to move on, Ron. We broke up for a reason."
"We broke up, because you had an infatuation with my bloody brother."
Hermione took a deep breath, preparing for a fight. "I broke up with you, because we want different things." She took a step back when Ron began to approach her with a dark scowl on his face. "I can't give you what you need, Ron. I can't even be what you want."
"Oh, but Charlie is what you want and need though, isn't he?" Ron snarled, trapping her against the wall. He had placed his hands on either side of her head. "Hermione, you'll never be what he wants and needs. Haven't you realized if you're not a bloody dragon you won't ever have a future with him? He'll be going back to Romania and where will that leave you? Alone. Is that what you truly want?"
"Leave me alone, Ron."
When she tried to duck under his arm, he pushed back up against the wall. "We're not finished talking!"
"Yes, we are!"
She straightened up her shoulders and fixed her steely gaze upon him. She wanted him to know she was absolutely serious about this. Yes, Charlie was a catalyst in this, because he wasn't the main reason. She had took the steps to break away from the norm to pursue something and she sacrificed her reputation for it. She still had her dignity left. For the first time, she felt a flare of her old self that was filled with a hunger to learn, to research, and to experience.
Ron stared down into her face, glaring into her eyes. He finally relented though as he lifted his arms that were trapping her against the wall. She quickly shoved him away and started to head back down the hallway. She realized that an audience had been forming near the staircase, but she didn't get a clear look at their faces. She felt a hand grab her arm and turn her around.
"He's never going to want you, Hermione," he told her. "Why can't you see that?"
"I know that, Ron! I know he'll bloody never want me! You've told me countless times! I still remember perfectly well. How many bloody times have you told me I'm not his type? How many times have you spat in my face that he thought I was trash? Bloody hell, Ron! How many bloody times are you going to tell me how I'm such a fool?"
Tears began to fall down her cheeks as she stared at her childhood best friend. Where had they gone wrong? They had been so close – all three of them. They were the bloody 'The Golden Trio', who stood by each other through thick and thin. They would've died for one another. Their friendship was an epic tale. And now, they were divided. One friend struggling to be a shoulder for both; the other two destroying one another.
For a moment, she saw the old Ron break through his icy mask. She saw the concerned best friend that had been a bit dimwitted when it came to her, but he was still her guardian angel. He just shook his head, glaring into her face. Then, she knew, it was going to come. The flames of their bridge of their friendship burning when that darkness gleamed in his eyes.
"Well, at least, I was honest enough to tell you the truth. He'll never go after my sloppy, messy seconds-"
"He already has!" Hermione cried out, snapping completely. "He already fucked me, Ron! Do you want to hear that? One night Charlie in his drunken stupor rocked my entire world and effectively ruined me for all men. You know what the kicker is? He was too bloody drunk to remember what he had done. So, you were right, Ron! He is the reason why I'm ending it now, because I can't pretend that I'm happy living like this. But before, when I ended our engagement, I was the reason why I ended it!"
Ron shook his head, shoving her hard against the wall. Hermione gasped when he reared back his arm. She watched in horror when he punched the wall beside her head repeatedly until he broke down sobbing. He crumbled before her, breaking open the wounds she was certain her never wanted to show. Hermione watched him as her own heart broke. She tentatively reached forward, touching his cheek and brushing his tears away with her fingertips.
"I'm sorry, Ron. I'm so sorry," she whispered, wrapping her arms around Ron. She kept repeating her apologies as she began to cry into his shoulder.
After few moments, he gently eased her away. His heart was shattering in his eyes. "It's not enough, Hermione."
He stormed down the hallway towards their formed audience on and about the steps leading downstairs. Hermione watched him leave then she pressed her back against the wall. She slid down the wall until she was seated on the ground. She wrapped her arms around her knees just crying. She felt Ginny wrap an arm around her whispering words of comfort. She looked up at Ron's sister and she curled into her.
"It's okay, Hermione," Ginny soothed, rocking her back and forth.
Charlie eyed Hermione. His heart was torn, but he was thankful that Ginny and Fleur had immediately rushed to Hermione's aid. Harry and him exchanged looks before they started following his other brothers down the stairs to go after Ron. He had just entered the kitchen, when he saw the back door slam shut. Bill quickly opened it and rushed outside, followed by George, and then himself and Harry. They all saw Ron stalking away from the Burrow. When Bill caught up to him, he tried to pull Ron into a hug, but Ron shoved him back.
"Ron, stop," Bill pleaded, grabbing at Ron.
Ron shook his head, breaking into another round of tears. Charlie's heart constricted at the sight of so much pain. He wanted to reach out to him. He wanted to ease the pain, even if he was partially to blame for it. He couldn't help how he felt about Hermione and neither could Ron. He never wanted Ron to suffer. He was his youngest brother. He was supposed to be there for him for moments like this.
"Mate, come back to the Burrow," Harry urged.
Ron spun around to face Harry. Charlie watched as Ron's face transformed into anger at the sight of him. He began to walk over to him swinging. Charlie ducked and dodged Ron's intended blows while his brothers and Harry held Ron back. They managed to push him back away from Charlie. A confined Ron glared at Charlie with so much hurt and so much pain.
"You were supposed to be my brother!" he roared, struggling against Bill's arms. "You weren't supposed to take the love of life from me!"
"Ron-"
"She was mine, Charlie! I had a bloody ring on her finger! I saw her first! Yet you still swooped in and took what wasn't yours!"
"Ron, you need to calm down," George gasped, standing in between them, in case Ron managed to escape Bill's grip.
Then he managed to escape from Bill's grip. He almost made it past George if he hadn't grabbed his shirt. Although, George had grabbed him, Ron got one good hit. Charlie stumbled back at the impact of Ron's fist against his jaw. He didn't even get angry. He didn't even try to attack Ron. So, when Ron overthrew George, Charlie was ready for Ron's blows as he punched him repeatedly. He took it well, letting him strike him with all his anger and all his pain.
"Why?" Ron shouted, grabbing Charlie's shirt. He reared back his arm, preparing to punch him. "Tell me why, Charlie!"
"Because I love her too, Ron."
Charlie's words were soft, but Ron heard them. His little brother stopped, staring at him in shock. He stumbled back from him. Harry and George secured Ron, just in case he changed his mind. Bill stood in between them, anticipating the next action. Instead, Ron just broke into tears, falling to his knees. Charlie approached him and sank to his knees, looking into Ron's eyes.
"I never meant to hurt you, Ron," he said. "And you know I didn't take her from you. She has a mind of her own."
Ron kept staring at Charlie. What happened next, Charlie wasn't expecting. Ron crumbled, bowing into him. Charlie wrapped his arms around his younger brother. His heart throbbed, holding him tightly against him. He never wanted to break Ron. This was never what he wanted to happen. He was his big brother. He was supposed to be protecting him and giving him advice.
Then, Ron withdrew from Charlie's embrace and slowly got to his feet. Charlie followed suit cautiously. Ron's eyes searched his.
"I swear, if you hurt her," he told him, pausing as he took a deep breath. "I'll kill you myself."
Charlie nodded, watching his younger brother then turn from him and started to walk away. Harry tried to approach him, but Ron quickly apparated. And he was gone.
