Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Title: Lessons in Love

Rating: R (in case there is some NC-17 scene somewhere in the story, send me an e-mail and I'll send the whole chapter to you without cuts!).

A/N: at the bottom of the page!

Ch09

James' behind was sore, not just a little, but a lot. It was all Lucius' fault. It was also Lucius' fault that they had overslept in the cabin of the Quidditch pitch and were almost caught in the act by Madam Hooch. No wonder he was quite pissed off.

It was true that after the pain was gone, the pleasure he felt more than compensated for the horrible beginning. But he didn't want Lucius to know that. He wanted Lucius to suffer like he did before reaching nirvana together; therefore, he would ignore Lucius' pleading voice for James to forgive his adolescent impulses for as long as he could. It was imperative that Lucius learned his lesson. He would think twice before attacking James the way he did the previous night without letting James get ready for the loving act properly.

"Oh, come on, James!" Lucius exclaimed, following James' quick and angry steps towards the castle. "Please, forgive me. I just couldn't hold myself... You're too tempting! It's all your fault for moaning like that! You were enjoying it!"

It sounded like an accusation. James clenched his teeth.

"That doesn't excuse you," he pointed out angrily. "I asked you to stop! It hurt, you idiot!"

"I'm sorry!" Lucius did seem very apologetic. "It's just that..."

"You were totally out of line, Lucius! Totally and completely!" James exclaimed, upset. "You didn't respect my pace! You told me you would!"

"I lost control!"

"And again, that doesn't excuse you! You acted as if you didn't know what you were doing at all!"

They both stopped and breathed hard. They stared at each other in mute challenge. Then Lucius crossed his arms, looked the other way and said something in such a feeble voice that James couldn't understand what he said.

"What?" James asked. When Lucius turned his head away it usually meant that he was embarrassed by something. James was more than a little curious to know what that was all about.

"It was my first time, too. So I'm sorry if it sucked..." Lucius repeated, slightly flushed.

To say that James was thunderstruck was an understatement. He opened his mouth a few times but nothing came out of it. He expected Lucius to be quite experienced in terms of sex. He had actually felt very jealous as he imagined Lucius doing it with that French boy from Beauxbatons.

"Oh…" was all he could say.

"Oh? What's with the oh?" Lucius asked defensively. That was also part of his act. At first he felt embarrassed. Then he acted all moody and defensive.

"I thought you and Eugene… Well… I thought you two had done it…"

Lucius blushed even more. Because that was such a rare sight, James' heart melted.

"Not really. I mean, Eugene and I fooled around a little bit… But we never… did… anything other than that," Lucius answered bashfully. "Look… I'm really sorry…"

"It did hurt at the beginning. But…" It was James time to blush. "I did… come. It wasn't so bad."

It was true. Now that he knew he was Lucius' first, the previous night seemed like paradise. Sure he had felt pain. But Lucius had also made him feel a new kind of pleasure he had never felt before.

'I'm Lucius' first,' he thought merrily. 'Holly cow! I'm Lucius' first!'

"You said it hurt," Lucius pointed out with suspicion.

"Well, it did! But it felt good. I guess… I just want you to be gentler next time."

They were both so embarrassed that they were avoiding each other's eyes.

"Does that mean you want us to try again? I thought you wouldn't allow me to touch you ever again," said Lucius, showing an insecurity that was new to James.

That new side of Lucius stunned James. He smiled softly. He was actually glad that he wasn't the only one who didn't seem to know what to do when it came to loving someone. Lucius wasn't as overconfident as he looked. He also had a soft side that was very cute.

Once he realised that, James' anger evaporated like magic. He got closer to Lucius, caught him by the hand and squeezed it. Then he looked into Lucius' blue eyes and smiled.

"Of course I want us to try again," he whispered. Lucius' eyes shone like diamonds. "But let's take things slowly, okay? We don't need to rush things."

Lucius cupped James' face and brought their noses together. "Did I hurt you badly?"

"I will have trouble sitting today…" James joked.

"I'm really sorry." Lucius felt bashful.

"Okay. That's enough. I forgive you. I can't stand to see such a proud guy like you turning into this mushy person… It is kind of cute. But it can also be annoying…"

Lucius smiled and kissed James softly. "I promise I will treat you nice next time. I'll be more prepared. I hadn't planned to attack you like that, I swear! I had just planned to make out a little, then eat something and watch the fireworks as we cuddle. Things got out of hand. You make me lose control with this cute face of yours."

James made a face. "You did seem to know how to use the Lubricant spell!"

Lucius smiled mischievously. "Well, a bloke has to learn one or two things when it comes to sex... I like to be prepared."

"I know." James made a face, but he smiled almost immediately. He could never resist Lucius' mischievous smile.

They kissed again, taking their time to savour each other's lips. Lucius pulled James into a tight hug and felt him up. The redhead's feeble protests were muffled by more kisses. He moaned as he felt Lucius' hardness press against his. They were just outside the doors of Hogwarts. Anyone could see them from the castle. Still, James reciprocated Lucius' urgency with the same intensity. When they finally pulled apart, they were both out of breath.

"I want you," Lucius said without thinking.

James smiled. His eyes seemed to be lost in a daze. "Me too. But we can't. I need time to recover. And you did promise to take things slow!"

"I did. But what can I do if I can't control myself when I'm with you? I desire you too much." Lucius kissed James deeply again. After an intense exchange of kisses and tender touches, Lucius changed the subject by asking, "Did you like my second present?"

James grinned. He felt as if he was walking on clouds. "Yes, very much."

Lucius had given him one of the most extraordinary orchids on the planet, one that he knew James had been dying to have. The blue orchid was only born in certain areas of the Himalayas, and it cost a small fortune. Since James was an Herbology fanatic, he knew that the blue orchid was not only very rare, but also had amazing magical powers when combined with the right ingredients. It was everything he had dreamt of, and Lucius had given it to him. He had even forgotten a little about the pain when he had seen the orchid that morning right after he woke up. He got so paranoid about carrying it around that he decided to send it straight to his room with a flick of his wand – after all, he trusted his charms abilities more than anything.

"Truth or dare," said James. Lucius made a face as if predicting what was to come. "Did your father buy it for you?"

Lucius bit his lower lip. "Dare."

James laughed. "Coward!"

"Hey, don't ask a hero his secrets!"

"Then I dare you to get yourself a detention with Miss Hallowell!"

"That's low! How can I do that? The woman is infatuated with me! Even if I blow up the classroom she'll probably find a way to blame it on you! And she wouldn't be wrong if you think about it," Lucius teased.

James giggled. Lucius kissed his neck and made him shiver with desire. They were so into each other that they didn't even care if other students saw them. But James wasn't so relaxed that he didn't notice the presence of someone who made him very nervous on a daily basis: his father. And he did care if his father saw him with Lucius.

He pushed Lucius away immediately, making the blond complain.

"What's the matter?" Lucius asked.

He noticed that James' complexion was awfully pale. He turned around to see what had caused his boyfriend to panic, and he saw Harry Potter walking towards the castle coming from the path to Hagrid's cabin. Luckily, Harry couldn't see them from where he was.

Lucius sighed in relief. Then he turned to James and said, "Breathe. He didn't see us. He seems to be deep in thought, which means he's distracted. So it's ok."

James shook his head. "No, it's not ok! What's he doing here? What does he want?"

"It's your birthday, James. He probably came here to congratulate you," pointed out Lucius, trying to calm down his boyfriend.

"No, he probably came here to yell at me for not joining the Quidditch team... And while at it, he'll give me a present... that is most likely a new broomstick or something."

James closed his eyes as he felt the world swirl around him. Lucius caught him before he could reach the ground.

"James!" Lucius cupped James' face firmly and made him look straight into his eyes. "Look, remember that he is your father and he loves you. So try to give him a chance before freaking out. And if he disappoints your expectations, tell him what you really feel."

"Like that's easy!"

"It isn't! But if you don't start telling him exactly what you think and want from him, he will never know! So how can he try to improve his relationship to you if he doesn't even know he's doing something wrong? How can you improve your relationship to him if you don't give him a chance to get near you?"

"I don't know how!" James exclaimed, his body trembling.

Lucius hugged him tightly, which only made James panic more.

"He'll see us!" James exclaimed, trying to push Lucius away. Lucius didn't let go of him, though. He kept hugging him tightly and whispering that everything was going to be ok until James calmed down a little bit.

He couldn't stand to see such an intelligent and mature person like James behave as if he was a scared three-year-old kid who didn't know the ways of the world just because Harry Potter was there. It was insane.

"Breathe, James. Breathe and face him. I'm sure he won't let you down on your birthday."

James smiled bitterly and a little nervously. "You don't know him..."

"He doesn't beat you up and treat you bad, does he?"

James shook his head and Lucius went on, "So he isn't so bad. Maybe he has a little problem showing his love for you. My dad has it too. And besides, the only reason you're so distressed is because you don't want him to see us together. Don't worry. I won't let him see me. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you need me. You're not alone anymore, ok?"

James sighed, and his tension diminished a little. He took a deep breath and pulled himself together. Lucius kissed him one last time and said, "Come see me after he leaves. And remember to breathe, ok?"

James nodded obediently. Lucius winked at him before vanishing inside the castle. Only a minute afterwards, Harry appeared in front of James and widened his eyes in surprise when he saw him.

"James? What are you doing here?"

"I go here," James answered with a sneer. Harry frowned at that. He wasn't used to having his son speak to him like that. "What about you?"

"What do you mean? I've come because it's your birthday."

"Oh." James' heartbeat quickened. He was actually happy that Harry had come to see him. The only problem was that he couldn't trust his father's motives. He knew Harry would nag him about his lack of interest for Quidditch at some point.

"And the only reason I asked you what you're doing here is because it's too soon for you to be up already. Actually, this is why I didn't go straight to the Gryffindor Common Room and went to see Hagrid instead. I didn't want to wake you up."

"Oh." Again, James was at a loss of words. It was very awkward to have his father in front of him after having spent the night with Lucius. He felt his cheeks getting hot, and he wondered if his face looked guilty.

It probably did because Harry soon asked, "James... Did you spend the night out? You're wearing rather formal clothes for a Sunday morning. You also look tired, like you didn't have a good night of sleep." Harry added mentally that there was something different about James. He just couldn't quite place what it was. "James... Did you spend the night with..."

James froze.

"... a girl?" Harry finished.

James felt like laughing his heart out. He flushed thinking of something to say. "Well, I..."

Harry smiled, amused. Because it was so rare to see his father smile at him, James just let him go on with his wrong assumptions.

"Well, well, well. You've just beaten your old man! Congratulations! That's something I never did in Hogwarts. Your mother and I did have our moments, but we never slept..." Harry stopped and blushed. "Well... never mind that... But way to go, son!"

James smiled feebly. He did want to deny what his father was saying, but he didn't have the courage to do so. It took only one look at his father's eyes for him to realise that he still wasn't ready to stand up to him. He feared Harry's reaction to the truth. Besides, how odd was it to discuss his love life with his father?

"So, who's the girl? A Gryffindor?" Harry asked, amused.

James flushed from head to toe. "No..." he muttered feebly.

"Oh. Is she a Ravenclaw?"

"No. I don't really feel like talking about it," James mumbled. Any other time he would love to bond with his father because truthfully they had never talked about things related to love before. In fact, James could count in one hand how many times Harry had told him that he loved him.

Wouldn't it be great if James could boast about spending the night out with his girlfriend, and then they could go to Hogsmeade and have a nice chat about Harry's experiences with girls while he was a Hogwarts' student?

For a moment, James wished it were true. He wished he hadn't fallen in love with Lucius so he could make his father proud of him at least once in his life. The first thing that bonded men together was sport. The second thing was their experience with women. James liked neither sports nor women. Well, he did like them both, but not in the same way that his father did.

If only he could have a normal relationship with Harry. But Quidditch and women would not improve their relationship. No matter how hard James tried, Harry would always demand more of him. Besides, did he really want to be someone else in order to win his father's love and admiration? Did he regret spending the night with Lucius? Of course not. He did not regret falling in love with Lucius, either. He was quite happy with himself thanks to Lucius.

His trail of thoughts made him mad at Harry again.

"Don't tell me she's from Slytherin!" Harry exclaimed, taking James by surprise. He knew Harry meant it as a joke, but James' guilty conscience made him flush violently. Seeing that, Harry knew he had hit the nail on the head. "She's actually a Slytherin?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?" James blurted out. Harry was already getting on his nerves with that inquiring. He figured it wouldn't be too much trouble to tell Harry part of the truth.

"Well..." Harry looked thoughtful. "I suppose not. I mean, as long as her family doesn't worship dark magic, I'm ok. I trust your judgement. If you like this girl, she must be special. Besides, McGonagall is always telling me about how much inter-house relations have changed over the years. Things are not as bad as they used to be."

James was impressed by his father's words. He was even more stunned to hear him say that he trusted James, and that Harry would let him date someone from Slytherin. Too bad that wouldn't be the case if James said that she was actually he, and that he was Lucius Malfoy. Even so, he felt a little happy. He even smiled.

Seeing that his son put down his defences a little, Harry smiled too.

For Harry, it was really hard to read his son. James was awfully quiet. He always seemed to be in deep thought, and that made Harry quite insecure about his actions as a father. He knew he wasn't the perfect father. No one needed to tell him that, not even Hermione with her annoying daily scolding.

Harry admitted – to himself at least – that ever since Ginny had died he had been alienating himself little by little from the world around him. He had been so afraid of losing his son as well that he had distanced himself from him without even noticing. It was a lot easier to focus on the business world where everything was cold and rational.

He had made plans to be a wonderful father thus avoiding having his son going through the same childhood he had lived. He had failed. He was distant. He had been so scared of not being loved by his son that he had probably achieved the opposite by only concentrating on work. He had only noticed his mistake when it was too late and James was already out of his reach. He wanted to get closer to his son but didn't know how.

He did notice how strange James had looked over the summer. He also noticed how he had seemed gloomier than usual. Hermione thought it was because Harry pushed James too hard into playing Quidditch, but Harry didn't think that was the problem. He didn't push James that hard. He just knew his son could be a great Quidditch player and wanted him to believe in that himself.

He had come to Hogwarts on his son's birthday expecting to redeem himself a little, and also to give him the brand new Jetx, his company latest creation, a broomstick so fast that it could help any talented Seeker catch the Snitch in a few seconds once sighted – or so he hoped.

And now he discovered that James had a girlfriend. Suddenly, his son's strange behaviour during summer made sense to him. It wasn't Harry that was causing his son's misery. James was in love. He had even spent the night out, something that Harry had never done while at school. He smiled broadly. Finally something they could talk about. He wondered why Hagrid hadn't said anything to him. In fact, when Harry had asked about James, Hagrid had just given him a strange look and then had changed the subject quite abruptly to his brother Grope, who was now a gamekeeper of Hogwarts, too.

"Are you in love?" Harry asked, hoping that the subject would bring them together.

"Yes."

Harry smiled. "You should bring her to spend Christmas with us," Harry suggested, trying desperately to create a bond with his son. He thought he was going in the right direction, so he said excitedly, "I think your grandma will love to meet her. What's her name, by the way?"

James looked at him as if he were a deer caught in the headlights of a car. Then he bit his lower lip as if he was angry about something.

"I don't think she can make it. Can we talk about something else?" James asked.

Harry frowned. What had he done wrong this time? Was it so weird for him to ask about James' girlfriend? Didn't he have the right to know her name at least? Unless the girl was no good, and James knew that Harry would be upset to hear that he was in love with a girl like that.

"Is she related to a Death Eater?" Harry asked with suspicion.

"No, she isn't! Just drop it, all right? I don't want to talk about it. Besides, I've got to run! I have something in my room that needs extra care. I don't have time to waste here!" James exploded, the stress of that sudden meeting finally making him lose his temper.

"You don't have time to waste on your father, who came all the way here to see you just to give you your present in person?" Harry asked not so pleased with James' odd reaction. "How interesting. And what could be more important than my visit?"

James sighed. He knew he had done the wrong thing by upsetting his father. He had to admit that for Harry to be there just for his birthday was quite a miracle. Harry had never done that before.

He was too nervous, though. It was difficult for him to hide his love for Lucius when he wanted to shout it to the whole world.

"It's a very rare flower. It's a blue orchid and it's really delicate. I need to check her temperature, otherwise she might die, and I really don't want that." Especially because Lucius had given it to him. He wanted to cherish it forever.

If Harry thought it was odd for a boy to care so much for an orchid, he didn't say. He didn't look any less annoyed, though.

"Could you at least take a look at my present first?" Harry asked, taking out his wand and conjuring a big package.

James pulled on a face as he stared at it. He knew what it was without unwrapping it. He counted to ten not to scream and beat Harry up with it. He did unwrap the gift, revealing one of the most beautiful broomstick models he had ever seen. He was surprised for a minute. Harry saw it and took it as a great sign, a sign that no blue orchid could beat the new Jetx.

But Harry couldn't be more wrong. It was very beautiful indeed, but James hated it. He hated what that broom represented. He had been right all along. His father had come all the way to Hogwarts not because of his birthday, but because he wanted to nag James about Quidditch.

"Thanks," James said unemotionally.

Harry raised an eyebrow at James' lack of enthusiasm. Any kid would be thrilled to receive such a present.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked.

"Nothing. Why?"

"You don't seem very happy. Don't you like it?"

James shrugged. "It's nice. Thank you."

"Nice?" Harry sniggered. "Nice? A picnic in the park is nice. This is a top of the line broomstick! I haven't even launched it in the wizarding market yet! Do you know how many kids would die to possess one of these? How can you say it's just nice?"

That was the father James was more familiar with. James wanted to laugh bitterly, but he held himself in check.

"Well, I'm not any ordinary kid. I think it's nice."

"It's bloody brilliant, not nice." Harry felt his pressure rising. "Why aren't you happy?"

"I am happy!" James lied, already forgetting to pretend that he was ok with it. "I'm ecstatic! It is the best gift ever, never mind that I have a blue orchid in my room that is only found at the Himalayas, and that it costs a small fortune! I have it! It's mine! I've always dreamt of having it. It's a miracle of nature! It has a tremendous magical power! But of course it doesn't even compare to your top of the line broomstick that hasn't been launched in the market yet!"

Harry reddened all over from anger, and so did James.

"And would you mind terribly telling me how, exactly, you have such a miracle of nature in your room?"

"Someone gave it to me obviously!" James let it out without thinking. He was too furious to care.

"Who the hell would give you something like this?"

James opened his mouth but closed it instantly. He couldn't say it. No matter how bad it was it would be ten times worse if he let out the news about his relationship with Lucius.

"It was an anonymous gift," he answered, just because he didn't know what else to say.

Harry was beside himself. "AN ANONYMOUS GIFT? For Merlin's sake, James! You're sixteen already! How the hell can you accept an anonymous gift like it's the most natural thing in the world? You know there are a lot of people out there who still want my head on a silver platter! They would want nothing more than to take you away from me!"

James felt his usual panic rising. He tried to remember to breathe, but it was too hard when his body seemed to be frozen. Why couldn't he say that the gift was from Professor Neville or something? Why did he even have to bring up the subject in the first place?

But he knew exactly why. He wanted to state the fact that his father had no idea who he was. By giving him a broomstick, it didn't matter how beautiful it was, Harry had declared how little he knew his own son's wishes.

The problem was that if there was something that irritated Harry more than James' indifference for Quidditch, it was his carelessness for his own safety. Harry was paranoid when it came to that. He had even hired a bodyguard to keep an eye on James for the first two years of school, something that Hermione had put a stop to as she saw how embarrassed James was having the man following him 24/7. And Harry only had listened to her after Hagrid had guaranteed that nothing would happen to James in Hogwarts while he was at school.

The damage was done, though. Harry wouldn't calm down no matter what James said. So he just decided to be honest, even if a little, for the first time in his life.

James took a deep breath before saying, "It wasn't anonymous."

Harry breathed hard. "There's no way around it anymore! You've just stated that it was! We're going to your room right now to get the bloody thing so we can destroy it immediately. God knows what might happen to you because of this! Honestly, James! How can you be so careless?"

"You won't do that! It's my gift! You can't take it away from me for a stupid reason!" James shouted.

"A STUPID REASON? Your safety isn't a stupid reason! Not for me!"

"There's nothing wrong with the orchid!"

"How can you tell? Why the hell would someone send you such an expensive gift out of the blue?"

"You're not taking the orchid away from me! It's the best present I've ever received! Much better than this crappy broomstick!" James shouted, throwing the broomstick on the ground in an act of rebellion, the first after his detention with Miss Hallowell.

Harry went so red he thought he would explode. His son had never defied him like this before. If the orchid were in front of him, he would have destroyed it in a thousand pieces with the blink of an eye.

"How could you? Do you have idea of how much this piece of crap costs? I swear, I'll..." Harry was at a loss for words. His anger was such that he feared he would hurt his son. He was horribly jealous of the person who had given James the orchid. A stranger had touched his son more than he did. Worse. A stranger knew his son more than he did. He saw James' angry tears and his heart constricted. He wanted to hug his son, but he couldn't. Even if he tried, he had the feeling that James would push him away. He groaned, frustrated with his own failure as a parent. If Ginny could see him she would be so mad at him.

"Dammit, James! I'll get the orchid and have it checked for dark spells. If there isn't anything wrong with it, I'll give it back to you, ok?"

"But there isn't anything wrong with it!" James stated, wiping his tears away feeling angry with himself and with Harry.

"How can you be so damn careless, knowing that your mother died for you?" It was Harry that was trying to choke back his tears now. He felt like crying for many reasons. Mostly, he was angry with himself as well. Because he was unable to reach his son, he had to appeal to that sort of low retort. He had to bring up Ginny and her death. "She gave her life for you, and you don't even care. You're such an ungrateful brat! I've given you everything in my power to make you happy! This is how you repay me? By throwing away my present and accepting something that a stranger gave you just to spite me?"

James didn't bother to wipe his tears anymore. He let them flow freely. His father was too cruel to say something like that. He did care. They both cared. That was the reason why they couldn't get along in the first place. They cared so much for each other that they ended up hurting each other.

"I hate you... I hate you so much..." James muttered, turning his back on Harry and running away.

James' words were like a blow on Harry's face. He felt paralysed for a moment. Then he shouted, "James! Wait! Come back here!"

He tried to follow him, but a tall boy with incredibly light blond hair and piercing blue eyes stepped in front of him and made him stop suddenly. Harry stared at the boy as if he had been swept away to the past. Perhaps the body was too well developed for a teenager, but the eyes... He knew those eyes pretty well. It was like seeing a ghost in the muggle sense. No, it was worse. It was like facing one. He was so thunderstruck that he even forgot to breathe.

"You..." Harry said, and before he could finish whatever he was going to say, a powerful voice cut across him.

"Oi, Harry! There you are!" shouted Hagrid, running towards them panting. "I need to tell you something!"

Harry ignored him and focused his attention on the boy. "Who are you?" he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

The blond threw him a hideous familiar sneer before introducing himself, "Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy. Nice to meet you."

TBC…

A/N: Ok. Let the massacre begin. I know a lot of you are really going to hate Harry, and I mean really hate him. He gets worse so he can get better. I promise he will become a better person in the future. But for now, all you'll see will be a bitter and angry-with-the-world Harry Potter. Tell me what your thoughts are about Harry and Lucius' meeting. What do you think will happen next?

Thank you all for reviewing! And a big thanks to Alice, my beta!