"It's No Good"
by Beth Gulla
/.../ represents thoughts
~...~ represents telepathy
8
Somehow they made it in. Despite Aya's reckless behavior and Omi's accident in the artillery room, they made it to the heart of the building and defeated two of the three members of Este. The third escaped to where Aya-chan was more than likely hidden below, but Yohji was impressed they had made it this far. The worst was probably still to come, especially since they had seen no sign of Schwarz yet. He had to smile, though, when Ken got flustered by Sakura's gratitude after giving her his sweatshirt. It was a shame the girl was so hung up on Aya; she had no idea how far out of her league he was. He hoped that for all her brave words, she was prepared to see the truth behind their florists' facade.
Finding a stairwell down was easier than they had expected and they soon found themselves standing on a balcony in a huge, high-ceilinged room. The members of Schwarz were easily spotted in their crisp white suits and Farfarello was just raising his arm to eliminate the last of Este's elite three when they arrived. Sakura gasped and looked away as the body crumpled but Yohji wondered grimly if that would be the last death she witnessed that night.
"Give me back my sister!" Aya shouted, pushing Sakura behind him.
"We can't do that, Schuldich drawled. "We need her too."
"In other words, come and get her, right?" Yohji returned, drawing out his wire.
"That's right," the German replied coolly.
The teams quickly split off into pairs and Yohji headed for that shock of red hair, knowing who his enemy was. But before he had reached Schuldich, a gun shot rang out and Yohji's stomach bottomed out. Why did they always forget Crawford's gun? He spun to see who was down but was surprised to find the precog himself cradling a bleeding hand.
"Manx!" Omi explained. The buxom redhead was standing on the same platform they had entered from.
"I finally got in contact with Birman," she said with a smile and Yohji had never been so glad to see her.
~Careless, Kudou.~ It was the only warning he had before Schuldich's double-handed blow from behind sent him sprawling. Yohji shook off his surprise and dizziness to roll out of the way just in time for Schuldich's foot to come down on the floor where Yohji's head had been a moment before. Startled, the blonde scooted backwards to put more distance between them as his mind tried to catch up. They had fought before several times, but never had Schuldich seemed so grim or so dangerous as now. Even the smirk from before was gone and when Yohji stole a quick look around him, he saw it was the same for all the members of Schwarz. Despite a wounded hand and lack of a weapon, Crawford was holding his own against Aya and Ken and Farfarello were grappling amidst smoke from Weiß's pre-laid bombs. Omi was being crushed into one of the pillars by Nagi, and that image got Yohji scrambling to his feet. However, a blur of white topped with red interposed itself between him and the younger assassins.
"Your fight's with me, remember?"
"Of course, how could I forget?" Yohji tossed aside the now-tangled loop of wire he held and drew a fresh strand. If he wanted to survive this fight, he was going to have to be just as serious as Schuldich. He had hardly taken a calming breath when Schuldich came at him again.
Yohji dodged the first punch miraculously but the uppercut that followed caught him squarely under the chin and knocked him back to the ground. Sliding to a stop on the marble, Yohji braced himself and swung a leg up as Schuldich closed in. The German raised an arm to block the kick but he misjudged what Yohji had been aiming for and failed to stop the blow from hitting his shoulder. Yohji smiled grimly as Schuldich winced; he'd guessed correctly which one Ken had clawed earlier. Schuldich retaliated by grabbing Yohji's leg before he could pull away and twisting it. Hissing in pain, Yohji rolled onto his stomach then shoved away from the floor with both hands, catching Schuldich in the chin with his heel. He scrambled to his feet as his opponent stumbled back and loosed a loop of wire but Schuldich was still faster. His image blurred and he caught the wire around his arm instead of his neck, using it to yank Yohji forward to meet his punch.
Yohji coughed as the fist dug into his stomach but grit his teeth and jerked his arm out to the side, tensing the wire so that it cut cleanly through Schuldich's jacket to skin. This was met with vivid cursing and then Schuldich hooked a foot behind Yohji's leg so that when he shoved , the other man was sent crashing to the ground again. Yohji cut the wire as he landed and kicked out, catching Schuldich by surprise and knocking his feet out from under him as well. The next few seconds were a blur of struggling but somehow, as the two men scrambled to their feet, Yohji had ended up behind Schuldich, his wire noose pulled tight. He matched Schuldich's grimness with his own, keeping his grip tight enough so that the German coughed when his first reflexive breath was cut short.
~Well done.~ There was almost a note of real admiration in that voice.
"Fuck you," Yohji snarled back. All his anger from the previous days surged up again, focusing on Schuldich and blinding him from anything else. Another bomb went off and the ground trembled. "Why, Schuldich? Why?"
~You lost your edge,~ the redhead replied and despite his struggle to get a grip on the noose, his mind voice was surprisingly calm. ~I gave it back. It's that simple.~
"Bullshit! God dammit, that's not an answer! You know what I'm talking about!" A small part of Yohji realized that if he wanted to get an answer he should consider giving the wire a little slack, but the time for rational thoughts was long past.
~Kudou, you always think too much. What does it matter?~ Suddenly Schuldich wasn't just speaking in his mind, but actually in it, throwing their thoughts together. Yohji could feel Schuldich's flickering consciousness–Fucking precog...always...right–and the growing burn from a lack of air mixed with his own shock, and then Schuldich was speaking again, in German. The words were the same from that first night but with Schuldich in his mind now, they somehow made sense. ~We're good together, even like this.~
In that moment, the floor gave a final loud groan and collapsed, plunging both teams down into darkness.
* * *
Manx watched the last few pieces of the museum sink below the surface of the lake in tense silence. The girl who had helped her get Aya-chan out safely–Sakura, was it?–was also staring fixedly at where the wreckage had crumpled. They were both waiting for some sign, for the water to splash as someone broke free, but it was disturbingly still. As they were waiting, Aya's little sister, who had been comatose throughout everything, suddenly opened her eyes and sat up slowly.
"Where...am I?" she asked, but just at that moment Manx's cell phone rang.
"Yes?"
"I found two of our kittens: Abyssinian and Siberian," came Birman's voice. She sounded suspiciously close to tears but Manx could hardly blame her as she felt moisture prickling her own eyes; the relief was almost overwhelming.
"That's wonderful. And the others?" Her words were followed by a short pause.
"Still no sign." Manx swore softly but knew a more detailed search would have to wait. Sakura was on the verge of telling Aya-chan everything, which would only further complicate matters. Manx briefly covered the mouthpiece of her phone.
"Sakura-chan, why don't you let her be for a moment, okay?" Her voice was sweet on the surface but there was unwavering steel underneath. Aya-chan blinked back and forth between the two then turned to look out over the water; Sakura wisely stayed quiet.
"Manx?" Birman's voice drifted out of the phone as she raised it to her ear again.
"We're fine, just another surprise, that's all. It seems Sleeping Beauty has finally woken up," she explained quietly and heard Birman gasp.
"What timing... I'll do what I can here and call you back. You'll be alright there in the meantime?"
"Yes, don't worry. I'll let you know if there's any sign of our strays."
Manx sighed and silently wished Birman luck as she closed her phone. Informing Aya of his sister's sudden awakening would not be an easy task. Luckily, Ken was there and from what she'd seen of the pair's behavior, he would likely help control the outburst. Unfortunately, there was no telling if Aya's reaction would be one of fear and the need to hide himself–and what he had become–from her forever, or an immediate desire to see her, despite his current condition. Whichever it was, Manx knew she had some damage control of her own to get to, especially since Sakura had started to drift towards Aya-chan again. With a sigh, she slipped her phone back into her jacket pocket and left the car to begin her own explanations, however temporary they might end up being.
* * *
So this is what it felt like to die. Strange...he had always thought he would be more resistant to the reality of the situation when the time came. But it was so easy just to let go. He was numb, but that was partly due to the shock of hitting the water as well as the temperature. Yohji blinked open his eyes but saw only darkness; his teammates were gone. He wondered if they'd already sunk to the bottom, if this is where Wei8 would come to an end.
Out of the corner of his eye, a glimpse of white smeared in red made him turn his head, wondering why a ghost would be here. Then his brain put the pieces together and he realized it was Schuldich floating there. The other man's eyes were closed and the expression on his face was more open than Yohji had ever seen. His brow was still slightly furrowed in frustration, despite the way he hung in the water; for once, it was a real expression and not a mask. Yohji's own eyes fell closed again.
In movies, they claim your life is played back for you in seconds when you die, but instead, Yohji was remembering Asuka on that fateful night years ago. The night the world as he knew it had been ripped to pieces. Half-conscious from the pain and shock beginning to set in, he had looked up to see her smile before she ran off. She had smiled because she knew, even before the bullets tore through her body, that she was going to die. Thinking back, he recognized the sad truth in her expression now, where before it had eluded him. There was a strength in that last smile because she knew there was hope for Yohji, that her distraction would allow him to live.
Suddenly everything hurt. Reality hit him as hard as the water had and between one instant and the next, the truth that he was sinking into the gloom–dying–clicked. His eyes stung from the water, his lungs burned, and his whole body ached. He realized he couldn't throw away what Asuka had paid for with her life, so he fought the apathy and willed strength back into his limbs.
A tug on his arm reminded him of the wire still connecting him to Schuldich. It had become more tangled around his enemy during their fall. If he didn't cut it, the other man would certainly drag him down. His lungs were practically screaming now and in moments, he would start blacking out; there was no time to think. Yohji acted on the first thought that hit him.
A flick of his write cut the wire, even as he hooked his arms under Schuldich's and kicked for the surface, where light glimmered dimly.
He would not survive alone again.
The surface of the lake had finally grown still when something suddenly broke free, splashing wildly for a second or two before calming and began a slow but steady path towards the shore. As the ground sloped up and the water eventually grew shallow, the shape resolved itself into a lanky figure that appeared to be dragging something.
Yohji struggled the last few steps out of the water before collapsing wearily on his knees. His pulse was pounding in his skull, his lungs felt like he'd breathed in acid and his muscles, once he was out of the water, turned to liquid. If he closed his eyes for even a moment, he was sure he would pass out, but as much as his body was demanding rest, he couldn't give in to it yet.
He turned slightly and saw Schuldich hadn't moved, even though he was still half in the water, his legs floating limply. Yohji wrestled to get his soaked coat off then crawled to Schuldich's side to press an ear to his chest. No heartbeat and he didn't feel any movement for breath. Fear coiling suddenly in his gut forced Yohji to move when he thought he had no energy left. He staggered a few more steps up the shore to get Schuldich clear of the water, then dropped to his knees, laced his fingers over Schuldich's chest and began CPR.
15 compressions, pinch nose and breathe twice, repeat. Yohji fell into the cycle furiously, growing more and more agitated when his actions failed to get a response.
"No–fucking–way," he growled, words emphasized by compressions. "I'm not finished with you yet." Breathe again then back to compressions. "God dammit you arrogant, infuriating sonofabitch, wake up." He could feel a touch of hysteria bubbling up inside him.
It was too perfect. His whole fucking team dies but he lives on. The only person close to him when the building collapsed was Schuldich, but his rescue attempt was a failure. He was a fucking assassin, tempting fate every time he went on a mission, but he couldn't seem to stop outliving the people around him.
Without warning, Schuldich's whole body convulsed as an cough tore free of his throat. Yohji stared at him in shock but as the coughing increased and began to sound more like heaves, he snapped out of his daze and rolled Schuldich onto his side so his body could expel all the seawater he'd swallowed. When he began to settle, Yohji eased him onto his back, aware that his own hands had started to shake and his chest was painfully tight.
"Schuldich?" He bent down to peer at the other man who had grown quiet again. The white suit paired with pale skin didn't help Schuldich look any better than before he started breathing. "Schuldich!" Yohji would have shaken him but footsteps on the gravel behind him and the unmistakable sound of a clip sliding into a gun made him freeze. There was only one person he could think of who could be behind him with a gun and as impossible as it seemed, it had to be true.
"I saved your teammate's life," he pointed out grimly.
"You ruined everything," came the cool response. "From the very beginning, you've been a nuisance, first interfering with Mr. Takatori's desires, then wrecking all of my careful planning for today. In fact, you especially have been quite the pest." There was a pause here, and Yohji wondered if his enemy had decided to just shoot him and skip the speech.
"For what it's worth, he came after me," he pointed out. "You're not the only one who's life has been fucked with recently." It seemed like a lame excuse but Yohji was too damn tired to consider being tactful. It was another moment or two before the silence was broken by a dry chuckle.
"Of course..."
Wondering if that comment meant he was off the hook, Yohji cautiously turned to face his enemy. Despite missing his suit jacket and being just as thoroughly soaked as Yohji, Crawford had somehow maintained glasses and icy attitude. He had holstered the gun–he must have picked it up after leaving the water, it looked too dry–and was pinching the bridge of his nose. Finally, he lowered his hand and looked down at Yohji with a mixture of irritation and...amusement?
"You saved Schuldich's life and that's not something I would expect, considering he's such an ass," he said at last with a cool smile. The words startled a laugh out of Yohji, although it sounded more like a dry bark. For one insane moment, he realized they were sharing a joke at Schuldich's expense. He and Brad Crawford were sharing a joke. Yohji wondered if he was actually in some strange version of hell; the thought of death reminded him of his missing teammates and he looked out over the water that was disturbingly still.
"They live," Crawford said suddenly, startling him. "Somehow, we all live." He adjusted his glasses, his manner quickly becoming all-business. "When he wakes up, tell him I'll be in touch." Without another word, he walked away, leaving Yohji staring after him in disbelief.
"H-hey!" But Crawford ignored him, instead walking directly up the slope to where two lone cars were parked, then he got into one and drove away. Yohji shook his head. "Unbelievable."
The exhaustion was beginning to sink in now as he looked down at Schuldich, who was still unconscious. There were safehouses in the area but without a vehicle it would be almost impossible to make it to one. The lone car parked up the hill drew his attention and he wondered what the odds were that Crawford had planned on having a method of escape once out of the water. What was a car doing out here anyway?
Yohji shook his head and rose unsteadily to his feet then hooked his arms under Schuldich's and started dragging him across the grass. Halfway up the hill, his lungs voiced their protests at being forced into labor after such a brief rest and a small part of him wondered if he should cut back his smoking. By the time they made it to the car, Yohji was wheezing and cursing Schuldich for everything from being unconscious to needing to lose weight. As he reached for the door handle, he swore silent that if all the struggling had been for naught, someone was going to pay. Fortunately, the car was unlocked and violence was forgotten.
With a bit more heaving and shoving, he got Schuldich into the front passenger's seat and buckled in. The German hardly looked comfortable, slumped over as he was, but Yohji wanted him nearby in case he started heaving again. He shut the door, moved around the front of the car, and collapsed gratefully in the driver's seat. Of course, he still had no way to start the car but as Yohji thought about that, curiosity nibbled at his mind and he reached up to flip down the visor. A key attached to a plain metal ring fell into his lap.
No one hid their keys like that, but then again no one parked their car by the side of a lake and then left it without any trace of where they'd gone. Yohji thought of Crawford again as he shifted the car into gear then shook his head. Best not to linger on the motivations of a precog and instead just be grateful he had a ride at all.
Stopping at a light, Yohji rubbed eyes that felt glued shut with lake water and weariness and racked his brain for the nearest safehouse to where he was. He managed to think of one before the light changed and glanced briefly in the rear view mirror before executing a right-hand turn from the leftmost lane. The drivers of the two cars he passed in front of stared blankly at him before looking forward to realize they had the go ahead.
* * *
Omi was dragged back to consciousness by a violent series of coughs that shook his whole body. He retched once and an iron band seemed to contract around his chest, but after that, his body seemed to realize there was no lakewater to expel and relaxed. As he lay there, panting, he became aware of voices and tried to open his eyes, even though they felt weighed down like the rest of his body. He managed to get one eyes open despite the grime sealing it shut and tried to make sense of the words he was hearing.
"–all three of you?!" This was followed by a curse. "He could have killed himself."
Images swam in Omi's vision, out of focus, even after he managed to pry the other eye open. Did he have a concussion? What had happened? He remembered the bitter fight with Nagi and seeing Ken attack Farfarello, and then everything had fallen apart around them and a slab of concrete–!
"–pushed him away–Nagi caught us–swam the rest of the way." Omi had closed his eyes against the bright, blurry surroundings and felt exhaustion pulling at him. However, both voices sounded familiar and hearing Nagi's name forced his eyes open again. He turned his head to the side.
"I'm surprised you didn't leave him to drown," came the cool response and suddenly it clicked in Omi's mind. His eyes widened as he saw Farfarello and Crawford standing a foot or so away. Crawford seemed only mildly disturbed, despite his soaked clothes, and Farfarello looked the same as ever. He was missing his suit coat, vest and shirt and stood in only pants, with bandages wrapped around his middle. At present, he was shrugging in reply to Crawford's comment.
"He wouldn't let go."
It was then that Omi realized the pressure around his chest was not any evidence of injury, but a pair of skinny, white-clad arms belonging to a boy who clung to Omi, even unconscious. Omi's mind swam with questions. He wanted to get up and get away because even the familiarity of having Nagi close couldn't ease his assassin instincts, which screamed of how vulnerable he was. Instead, he found exhaustion yawning like a great abyss beneath him, dragging his conscious down. The last thing he heard before passing out was Crawford's sigh and then,
"Put them both in the car."
* * *
Yohji wound his way through narrow, residential streets, keeping an eye out for anyone tailing him, though not expecting it. Weiss's enemies thought them buried under the lake's surface and the police were too busy with the sudden collapse of the mausoleum to bother with a random car that seemed oblivious to road signs and rules.
When the roof of the building he was looking for became visible over the tops of the other houses, Yohji swore in relief and squeezed the foreign luxury car into a parking spot that was better suited for a domestic model. After switching off the engine, he was sorely tempted to close his eyes and pass out right there, but the promise of a bed, however dusty it may be, was much more tempting than the car seat he currently occupied. Plus, the soft wheezing in and out coming from the passenger seat reminded him his work was not yet done. Squeezing out of the car on his side--he'd left more room on the other side to help wrestle Schuldich out--he went first to the door underneath a set of stairs leading to the second floor. The knob was locked when he tried it, but that didn't deter him. He systematically upended all the potted plants by the door until he found the key buried in the dirt. The nice thing about the wooden stairs above him was the cover they provided, so any neighbors looking out at this hour would see him going in, but hopefully nothing that would raise suspicion.
Yohji unlocked the door and peered inside, looking for any signs of an attack and seeing none. Going back out to the car, he began the arduous task of getting Schuldich into the house. This wasn't made any easier by the fact that the German was still unconscious, but Yohji did his best. With his arms hooked under Schuldich's, he heaved and twisted and cursed until Schuldich was free of the car, then dragged him into the dusty gloom of the house. He had only been here once so after shutting the door and enclosing himself in darkness, he had to fumble along the wall for a light switch.
The place was sparsely furnished, with a sitting area and kitchen immediately before him. He knew there were several bedrooms upstairs, but the thought of hauling Schuldich all that way just seemed impossible. Luckily, there were a couple rooms down the hall and somehow, he managed to get Schuldich to one and up onto the sterile bed that was snugged up against the wall. Too late he realized the white sheets would probably get stained from Schuldich's blood, but then he shrugged it off. Everything in this house was disposable.
Yohji sat down on the end of the mattress, moving Schuldich's legs enough so he could sit with his back against the wall. Now that he'd finally gotten Schuldich somewhere safe, exhaustion settled unforgivingly on him. Though he was hardly comfortable, his eyes were closing of their own will and he was asleep before he knew it.
Sometime later, when something moved against Yohji's leg, his brain registered the sensation immediately but it took several moments before he could convince his body to respond. His limbs felt made of lead and everything had stiffened during his nap, protesting now when he tried to move. He rubbed at his eyes and then turned to look at the man stretched out beside him. Schuldich had apparently just awoken as well, judging by the way he looked around carefully, noting his surroundings. One of his legs had fallen off the side of the bed, but the other was pressed against Yohji's; that was what had woken Yohji up. Schuldich raised a hand to touch his chest, where the wire had cut lines into his coat, before that guarded gaze finally met Yohji's.
Yohji wasn't sure how he had expected the other assassin to react when he first woke up or what they were supposed to do now. After nearly drowning, his brain had only been able to process the simplest requests and so "get to the safehouse" had been the only thing in his mind after Crawford left them. Now other thoughts were beginning to surface and he wished for a cigarette, if only to give him a distraction. Schuldich's expression was neutral, giving no sign as to what his thoughts were, and Yohji fidgeted uncomfortably under his stare until he couldn't stand it.
"I'll be right back." He eased off the bed and left the room, hobbling at first until his sore muscles loosened up. He didn't relax until the door was closed behind him and those blue eyes were no longer boring into his back. He moved across the hall to the bathroom while his confused thoughts tumbled around in his head. There was a question hanging in the air that was on both their minds: Why had he saved Schuldich?
At first, Yohji's instinct had reacted to prevent him from surviving alone, a sin he had grown sick of. But things were getting more complicated now that he had gone so far as to bring his enemy to a Weiß safehouse with plans to patch him up... His original excuse wasn't going to explain away those actions.
The problem was, Yohji was slowly realizing he didn't want Schuldich dead. He thought he had, especially as enraged as he was in the mausoleum, but when he had the chance to just turn away in the water, he couldn't. More than Schuldich's death, he wanted answers: Why had the telepath erased his memories and what exactly had he taken?
Yohji found two heavy duty first-aid kits under the sink--no cheap band-aids here–and dampened a wash cloth before heading back to the bedroom. Schuldich had shifted to the center of the bed but was lying so still that Yohji had to double-take before he saw the faint rise and fall of his chest. Trying to ignore the tightness in his chest that took another moment or two to ease, the tall blonde moved to the bed with his items.
Schuldich cracked an eye open when Yohji sat next to him then wordlessly struggled into a half-sitting position so Yohji could strip the top half of his suit off. Surprisingly, there wasn't a lot of fresh blood, probably from being in the water so long, but the places the wire had cut through cloth and into skin were an angry red. Yohji caught Schuldich wincing as he dabbed at the cuts with the damp towel, but aside from the occasional hiss of pain, the room remained silent.
Yohji could feel a corner of his mind gnawing away at the rest as he worked, demanding to be eased by nicotine. With as much as he smoked, he was probably lucky he wasn't throwing the furniture around like some enraged beast; if he kept trying to ignore it, though, it probably would reach that level of irritation.
"It already has," Schuldich rasped, startling Yohji. It was the first time he'd spoken since they fell into the water; clearly the experience had taken its toll on his voice. The redhead's expression was sour and Yohji frowned right back.
"Well if you happen to have a pack on you, feel free to share," he replied.
"If you don't do something, I will."
"So it's just that easy to change a person's mind? Why even bother warning me? Why not just do it like last time?" Yohji snapped, surprising himself. The words just rolled out but as tired as he was, they carried only a touch of the heat from last night. Surprisingly, Schuldich didn't retaliate right away, but instead glared with lines of exhaustion beginning to show on his face. Yohji let out a breath, trying to calm down. They'd been through this before and he suspected arguing was getting him nowhere.
"I need to know what you took, Schuldich." He said nothing at first, so Yohji swallowed his pride. "Please." Surprise flickered across the German's expression and then he shut his eyes, the frown returning.
~I didn't 'take' anything. I just blocked it,~ a voice in Yohji's head grumbled. There was a long pause before he grudgingly continued, ~Close your eyes.~
As the scene unfolded in his mind, Yohji felt like an observer to some horrific parallel world. Everything was terribly familiar, the events leading up to the eventual fight with Neu and the tortured wreck he became afterwards. But unlike the last time Schuldich had shared these memories, Yohji felt nothing but sadness this time. The overwhelming despair and madness were kept at bay, although an ache still throbbed in his chest. That must have been Schuldich's doing, although neither man spoke during the exchange. The images finally faded and Yohji opened his eyes to look down at the telepath, who appeared asleep again. .
"Schuldich." The other man didn't even twitch but Yohji wasn't falling for the act now. "Schuldich."
"What now?" the redhead growled, cracking an eye open. "You nearly succeeded in strangling me, sliced up my best suit and me, all while apparently 'saving me' and now you won't give me a moment's rest. How much more abuse am I expected to take?" Yohji was so surprised by the sudden outburst, he couldn't think of a response. In the pause that followed, they both heard footsteps in the hallway. Schuldich tensed--apparently he hadn't sensed the approaching mind--and Yohji jumped to his feet as his mind finally registered what was familiar about the sound: it was a lady's high-heels.
"Yohji!" Manx exclaimed as she burst in, relief flooding her voice. "I thought I heard your..." She trailed off as she saw past him to the person on the bed. Abruptly, her entire manner changed as instincts and training kicked in. She stepped back, now glaring with suspicion as she brought her gun up to bear. Yohji wasn't surprised to find it aimed straight at his chest. "What's going on?"
Everything Yohji could think of sounded ridiculously cliche, but he knew had to say something.
"I gave my life to Kritiker, Manx, I think I deserve a chance to explain." She raised an eyebrow but said nothing, so he took that as a good sign and continued. "Okay. Schuldich and I have...a past, you could say. From the first time he showed up, he was clear this had nothing to do with our teams and while I didn't believe him at first, I've grown to trust him...somewhat. He certainly had plenty of chances to take advantage of his position for Schwarz reasons but never did. Then, when Asu--when Neu showed up... After that, Schuldich did something to make me forget. I brought him here so I could find out why." Even though the memories didn't overwhelm him with sorrow and self-hate anymore, he could still recall how far he had fallen then.
"I wanted to die, Manx. A couple more missions like that and I would've gotten my wish, or gotten someone else killed. Everyone knew it but no one did anything." Yohji shrugged. "I don't blame you, but whatever his reasons were, Schuldich was the one who stopped me. Considering how things have turned out for both our teams, I don't see him as a threat right now. I just need a little time to sort this out. I need you to trust me."
Manx gazed at him, weighing what he had said until at last her frown relaxed, but only slightly. She at least lowered her firearm.
"Okay, I'll trust you. You're right, of course, after all you've given Kritiker, you deserve at least that." She sighed. "The others may not be as understanding. I'll keep my silence but they deserve to hear the truth too." He nodded agreement but on the inside, he was dreading when that time came. "I'll meet up with Birman and we'll bring the others back here. Once we're all together, we can figure out what we do next." She shot Schuldich a distrustful look then left. Once the door was closed behind her, the stillness in the room returned.
~Nice speech.~
/Fuck you./
~Maybe later.~
Grinding his teeth in irritation, Yohji stalked back to the bed and threw the ruined white coat at Schuldich.
"If you don't want to put up with this 'abuse', as you put it, then get out." He was pleased at the genuine surprise that flashed across the other man's expression. "I'm not getting killed by my own team for helping your ungrateful ass." Schuldich quickly got over his first reaction and settled into a more common sneer.
~Still agonizing over why I did it? Maybe I just wanted one last good fuck.~
"Maybe...but I think that's bullshit. Why go through that trouble of actually making an effort on my part, unless you had some deeper motive?"
~What, like brainwashing you into becoming a sleeper assassin so I could one day flip the switch and kill your team? Paranoia doesn't suit you, Kudou.~ Derision was heavy in Schuldich's voice but he wasn't done yet. ~I told you before, we're good together. After weeks of breaking you down, making you mine, that Schrient bitch came along and ruined everything. In one day, she had you wrapped around her finger.~ As he spoke, he struggled to sit up, only managing to brace himself on his elbows and glare at Yohji. Suddenly, it all fell together in Yohji's mind.
"You were jealous." Of all the possible reasons behind Schuldich's motives, this one actually made sense. He had finally worked Yohji's defenses down and gotten him to admit he enjoyed Schuldich's advances, then not only had Neu stolen Yohji's attention, but Schrient as a team had ruined Schwarz's plans by stealing Aya's sister.
~Don't analyze it to death, Kudou, it's a common motive,~ the telepath returned with a grimace as he finally sat up completely.
Yohji looked down at Schuldich, still as pale as the sheets beneath him with stark red lines striping his chest and arm. He tried to decide if that answer was enough, if it satisfied the anger and frustration that had churned inside him for days leading up to this. He realized he was just too damn tired to think about the big picture and everything that weighed on the events of the past few weeks. He put a hand on Schuldich's chest, pushing him back down.
"Don't think I'm not still pissed," he warned, "but you don't have to leave....yet." He sat down on the bed and ran a hand over his face, wishing he could wipe away the weariness that easily. The urge for a cigarette was suspiciously silent.
/Your doing?/
~I did warn you.~ Then, after a pause, ~It's a bad habit anyway.~
/So are you./ As Schuldich chuckled, Yohji realized the mental speech was soothing, so much easier than talking out loud. The silence of the room also made it hard to ignore the exhaustion that hadn't been eased by his short nap. He flopped backwards to lay next to Schuldich, who muttered something unintelligible but shifted to make more room. They ended up with Yohji just on the edge, his leg over the side and his foot on the floor, while Schuldich was lying on his side, turned towards the blonde with one shoulder touching the wall. They were close enough for Yohji to feel the heat of Schuldich's body and he realized this was the first time they had shared a bed without having sex right beforehand. It was a weird thought. He wondered what would happen now, not just to Weiß but between him and Schuldich.
The other occupant of the bed chose that moment to point out quite grumpily that he was thinking too loudly so Yohji closed his eyes and wondered if he could catch a little sleep before his team arrived.
to be continued...
