A/n: Someone said they wanted a how did they meet story. So here it is! Honestly, I write these and forget what they say like, 2 seconds later, so that's wonderful. I'm so good at this! Anyways, uh... continuity may not be a thing. I skimmed the other stories, hopefully this plays out well. It's 2am and I'm tired leave me alone.

Thank you for reading my mess! :D


His heart was pounding in his ears as he watched him walk by. Him. Every time he'd say his name he could taste it on his tongue. It was wonderful, it was bliss –

He didn't know that he exists!

Naruto scooted slightly more behind the cover of the column he was currently hiding behind. He knew he had it bad, an awful crush, on the most gorgeous, smart, calm, collected boy he had ever seen.

Sasuke Uchiha.

His heart sped up at the name. Sasuke. He used it sparsely, as if it were a curse he hailed like a prayer.

Sasuke was the new student of his high school. And, knowing high school, the student that shows up mid semester always gets the attention, add that Sasuke was probably the most amazing human to have ever walked the earth, Naruto had some competition when it came to getting the brunet beauty to notice him.

…which he never seemed able to do.

For the next two weeks after the mysterious boy's sudden arrival, Naruto had tried everything. Roses? No. Sweets? Doesn't like sweets. Notes? Always intercepted. Naruto had yet to look the boy in the eyes, much less struggle to speak to him.

He wanted to ask him to the dance that was coming up. Naruto knew, just knew, that if he got his shit together, he could draw the other boy in.

…2 weeks after he had arrived, he left. Just like that.

Naruto was crestfallen. He'd never have his chance with Sasuke, nor find anyone like him ever again.


"Why did he leave?" Naruto asked.

"Ah, who knows," Kiba shrugged, "rumors. Don't pity yourself too hard, man."

"I'll pity myself as I please." Naruto sighed.

"Rumor say he threatened a teacher with a plastic spork from the cafeteria."

"He'd leave because of that?" Naruto asked incredulously. "Who hasn't done that?"

"Who's sent someone to the hospital for it before?" Kiba asked.

Naruto nearly choked.

"Ex-squeeze-me?"

"Yeah, apparently he's batshit crazy. You're lucky to have gotten away."

Naruto frowned.

"I'm glad I never met him."

"Yeah, you're gone for the month he's here. Great, just great." Naruto shook his head.

"Why do you care if I've met him?"

"So you could see!" Naruto said, "So you could see what I'm talking about! I'd take him even if he were crazy! I know he's not, rumors are bullshit, but I would if I were given the chance!"

"Be careful what you wish for, mate."


Naruto adjusted his tie as he glanced up at the school's name. Finally, his own classroom, his own class, his own rules. He'd always wanted to be the coolest calculus teacher to have ever existed, and by goly, if he wasn't going to try.

He calmed himself as he entered the building. Calm, cool, and collected. That's how he was going to come off – (fun!) calm, cool, and collect –

Holy. Shit.

He froze in shock. He could already feel himself turn to almost jelly.

He worked here? Really? The one that got away? What were the odds?

"You alright, sunshine?"

Naruto jumped at the voice next to him.

"Hi, Sakura Haruno. You must be Naruto." She smiled.

"Y-yeah – Sasuke?"

Sakura blinked a couple times.

"I'm Sakura."

"I mean, Sasuke, he works here?"

"Uh… yeah. Why."

"Just uh…" Naruto cast a glance to Sasuke, "…nothing, no reason."

"Don't."

Naruto turned back to Sakura.

"Huh?"

"Not a road you want to go down on, friend." Sakura pat his shoulder. "He's pretty to look at. Not to hold, or to have, or to even listen to, honestly."

Naruto watched Sakura walk off. What? Sasuke? He wasn't actually –

"Hey."

Naruto sighed. He wasn't up for the whole greeting thing when he was internally monologuing –

"Oh, hey, Sasuke."

Sasuke raised a brow.

"My reputation precedes me, I see."

"Huh?"

"My reputation." Sasuke's eyes bore into him. "People like to talk about me."

"Yeah, I uh – high school."

Sasuke glanced around the front lobby.

"Yup, this would be a high school."

"I mean, high school. You went to my high school."

Sasuke frowned. He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought back.

"…which one?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke warily.

"Which… one?" Naruto repeated.

"Yeah, which one. You're going to have to be a bit more specific."

"You move around a lot?"

"You could say that."

"Uh… Konoha high?"

"Ooooooooh," Sasuke chuckled, "that one."

"Yeah."

"You remember me? I was there, like, what, a week?"

"More or less."

"Yeah. I uh, huh, I um… I swear I'm not as bad as I was." Sasuke smiled.

"Bad as…?"

"The spork? I thought everyone knew that."

Naruto stared at Sasuke. So, okay, he was a little on the crazy side. If Naruto wasn't certain Sasuke would be the mother of his physically impossible children… he had no idea where he was going with that train of thought, but that face alone was worth whatever trouble he'd bring.

"You talking to yourself?" Sasuke asked.

"Am I speaking out loud?" Naruto panicked.

"Oh, no," Sasuke waved his hand dismissively, "I do that too. Just got that look on your face is all."

"Uh huh…"

"Welp, class soon. Have fun, huh?" Sasuke turned to walk to his class.

Naruto watched him – his back, or his hair, maybe his shoes, absolutely not his ass – as he left.


Sasuke proved to be kind of crazy, that was for sure. The longer Naruto spent with Sasuke (and even not with him, if he were honest) Sasuke seemed to grow more and more attached. Something about Naruto seemed to attract Sasuke, like a magnet.

"Magnets! North and South. Opposites. Naruto and Sasuke. Opposites. Also, not so opposite but maybe possibly not all the way opposites? But still like a magnet."

Naruto shook his head and smiled. Sasuke was definitely quirky. He had become very fond of the English teacher, as had the English teacher of him (but to be honest it was a slightly – only slightly – unhealthy attachment on Sasuke's part).

He had grown accustomed to Sasuke's wild rants he'd go on (not knowing how much worse they'd grow later on) and he'd even learned to appreciate and enjoy them.


Sasuke rushed into his classroom one day. Naruto turned to him as he entered.

"Oh my god, Uzumaki, you're not going to believe this, but the students, god students, am I right?" Sasuke rolled his eyes, "The way they uh… study… and uh –" Sasuke shook his head, "anyways, there's this totally bizarre rumor going around? Have you heard it? No? Yeah, I didn't think so. Well, as all rumors go, it's completely untrue and if you hear it, well, probably best to disregard it, huh? Don't want to listen to no rumors now, do we?"

Naruto attempted to count the amounts of breaths Sasuke took, but he seemed to take none.

"He called you daddy during class." A student said as they walked in.

Sasuke started this… squeal? Squeak? Naruto wasn't sure what it was, but apparently he did it out of embarrassment, if the reddening of his face meant anything.

"D-daddy?" Naruto tried to stifle a laugh, "I wasn't aware I had a son."

Sasuke gives off a choked sob.

"Shut up!" He whined.

"Don't you think you should save it for the bedroom, baby girl?"

"NARUTO!"

"That's daddy to you."

Sasuke stormed out of his classroom. Naruto laughed wholeheartedly.

Sasuke was definitely going to be Naruto's bitch, he'd make sure of it.