Disclaimer: I am not James Cameron. I do not own anything associated with the film. I am simply a fan who is keeping the fandom alive through writing this story. I hope you enjoy!


Chapter Nine

A Dreaded Loneliness

May, 6, 1912

The stars began to fade when the sun slowly rose above the horizon, bringing natural light to the world while Jack still slept against the hard brick wall. His clothes were half dry from last night's rain and his hair slumped to one side as a soft snore escaped from his throat. The owner of the store was not satisfied when he saw him lying there so he kicked his feet, rudely awakening him from his slumber.

"Get lost," the owner snapped. "This isn't your bedroom."

Jack squinted against the harsh sunlight while he looked up at the chubby man who stood before him. "What?" his voice was barely above a whisper.

"I said this isn't your bedroom," the owner repeated with pure annoyance. "Now get lost before I call the police on you for trespassing!"

Jack let out a sharp groan as he got up and dragged his feet away from the store. "Thanks for your courtesy, sir," Jack spat out sarcastically before walking up the block, his steps heavy and short. His eyelids were still drooping and he could still feel exhaustion creeping into his body but he fought a while longer to stay awake. He felt himself shiver against the morning breeze and he hugged himself while letting out a few sore coughs.

Jack ran his fingers through his slumped hair and glanced up at the morning sky, hoping to determine the time. He guessed it was somewhere around half past seven — it also explained why the grocery store owner found him there. He spent more than ten minutes walking and when he looked up at the street sign, he soon realized that he was only a couple of blocks away from the apartment building he and Rose shared.

Rose. How could he have done this to her? He left her without giving one hint to an explanation. How could he have the heart to hurt her after having promised to never abandon her? What was he thinking? He will never forgive himself if she doesn't take him back. Serves him right for having done what he did to her. If he were Rose, he wouldn't even take himself back. He let out a sigh of frustration while he continuously cursed himself for his stupidity.

He dragged his heavy boots along the sidewalk and forced his way up the block. Minutes later, he caught sight of that one building he managed to call home for the past few weeks. He coughed as he slowly made his way up to the front entrance. He took a moment to take his breath and leaned against the rusted door as he felt like he could collapse onto the ground right then and there and possibly sleep until the next century. He fought his exhaustion a while longer and pushed open the door which felt heavy against his limp arms. He peeked his head in and hoped that the landlord was not out there waiting but luckily, he wasn't. He breathed a sigh of relief and carefully shut the door behind him after he stepped inside. The hinges began to whine in protest and Jack clenched his teeth, hoping that the unpleasant noise hadn't woken anyone. He held his breath for a half a second longer and listened for any sort of noise but much to his relief, silence was all that answered him. He let out another sigh and slowly began to tip-toe toward his apartment door, cringing at every step he took for the floorboards beneath him began to creak in protest. Jack took cautious movements, praying that the soft noises wouldn't disturb anyone in the building — especially the landlord.

He heard nothing but silence on the other side of his apartment door. His heart began to pound with dread as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small brass key. He slipped the tiny piece of metal into the keyhole and gave it a gentle turn until he heard a soft, muffled click. He opened the door and took a peek inside, relieved to see that Rose was sound asleep on the sofa. He dropped the key back into his pocket and stepped inside, wincing against the sharp screech the door made when he turned to shut it. Not wanting to make any further noise, he bent down and removed his heavy boots which were still pretty damp from last night's rain.

Jack slowly made his way over to the sofa and knelt down beside her, admiring the beauty of the woman who stole his heart. How could he have ever thought of leaving her? She gave up everything to be with him and this is how he repays her?

"I'm sorry . . ." he whispered as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I'm so sorry."

He looked down and noticed that she was still holding onto the note. He carefully pulled it out of her grasp and crumpled it up. He made many mistakes in the past but this was one of the worst. He was determined to make it up to her, no matter what it took. He was not going to lose her now; especially not after everything they've been through.

His eyelids were getting heavier as he stumbled to the sofa and sat down on the floor. He rested his head on the small space beside her and drifted off into a troubled sleep.


The sunlight crept into the tiny apartment, luring Rose out of her dreamless slumber. She let out a low moan as she blocked the light from her eyes and turned her head to the side, wanting to go back to sleep. She closed her eyes and stretched her arms when she suddenly felt her hand brush against a thick mass of hair. A hint of confusion swept through her features as she looked down to find Jack sleeping soundly beside her.

"Jack?" her voice was barely above a whisper as she reached over and carefully brushed away the few strands of hair that fell over his eyes.

A part of her was relieved that he came back, but there was still that small part of her that was angry at him for having left in the first place. She thought back on his letter and remembered feeling hurt and betrayed as she read it; she could still feel the pain even now, and it really, really hurt.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted with Jack's rasping coughs, which startled him awake. He was shivering against the slight breeze that came from the window. A look of concern crossed her face as she knelt down beside him and placed a trembling hand over his forehead.

"You're burning up," she told him.

He struggled to keep his eyes open as he looked up at her, feeling as if he hadn't slept in days. "Rose?" he breathed out through his drowsiness.

"What were you thinking?" she asked through her tears.

"Oh, Rose . . ." his voice cracked because of the soreness in his throat. "I'm so . . ." he paused as another fit of coughs overtook him. "I'm so sorry."

"What made you leave, Jack?" she ignored his apology; she wanted answers. "After having nearly lost you . . . why would you do that to me?"

Jack pulled himself onto the sofa and fought against the urge to cough. "I never meant to hurt you," he looked into her eyes before continuing. "I just thought it would've been best for me to leave."

She glanced back at him, confused and hurt. "Why?"

He avoided her gaze and stared off into space. "I thought you'd be much safer without me."

"What are you talking about?"

He sighed as he gathered up the courage to explain. "I read the newspaper while you were at work yesterday," he stopped and coughed a few times before he managed to continue. "Then I started thinking about how I pushed Fabri and Tommy to their deaths."

She scooted closer to him and placed a hand over his. "Jack, you shouldn't blame yourself for their deaths. It's not your fault."

"I know that . . ." he paused for a moment and blinked away his tears. "I just can't help thinking that if I didn't force them to go to the other side of the ship, they'd still be alive."

"Jack, listen to me," she turned his head toward her and forced him to look into her eyes. "It was that bloody ship that killed them, not you. It was all a terrible tragedy that will continue to haunt us for the rest of our lives. Titanic is a part of us, now. If it weren't for that ship, we never would've met, and God knows how happy I am to have you in my life. Please don't torture yourself over something you had absolutely no control over. Many lives were lost that night, and we could cry all the tears we want and contemplate on the 'what-ifs', but in the end, the ship that was once known to be unsinkable lies on the bottom of the ocean. We just have to get through each and every day and make the most of it. After all, we only have one life to live, and I wouldn't want you spending the rest of your life feeling guilty over something you haven't done."

A tiny hint of a smile curved at the corner of his lips as he looked into her eyes, knowing that the fire in her soul was still burning strong. "You're right," his voice was hoarse from the sob that he was so desperately trying to hold back. He ran his fingers through her soft ruby curls and pulled her into his arms, cherishing the feel of her body against his. "God, I'm so sorry."

Rose let out a sigh of relief as she held him close, glad to have him back in her arms. "It's okay," she breathed into his ear. "Just . . . don't do it again."

"I won't . . ." he pulls away and coughs a few times. "I promise."

Rose noticed that his coughs were getting worse, and as if to prove her concern, Jack's body began to shake as his coughs continuously overtook him. It wasn't until about a half of an agonizing minute later when he finally stopped.

"Jack, you need to change out of those clothes," she said. "You're getting worse."

Jack could only nod as he struggled to stop coughing. Rose helped him up, but he could barely stand on his own two feet.

"I got you," she reassured him while they both staggered to the bedroom.

Once inside, she led him toward the bed where he laid down and started taking off his clothes. Rose went to the wardrobe and pulled out a fresh pair of pants and a shirt for Jack. After helping him change, she headed to the closet and took out a thick blanket, which she draped over his shivering body.

"I better call a doctor," she said.

"No," Jack said with a slight shake of his head. "I'm fine."

She gave him a skeptical look as he fought through yet another set of coughs. "Hmm, you really think so?"

He finally stopped coughing and laid back, defeated. "Okay, maybe not."

Rose smiled and bent over to kiss his forehead. "I'll be right back."

Jack could only moan in response as he pulled the blanket up to his chin and closed his eyes. Rose left the room and shut the door behind her. She didn't know how she would go about finding a doctor in this part of the city – and in such a short time, too, considering that she would have to head to work within the next hour and a half. She figured she'd ask the landlord, and if he didn't know any, she'd go ahead and ask a few of her neighbors; someone is bound to know whether there is a doctor near here, or not.

She stepped out into the hallway and headed toward the small lobby. The landlord wasn't at the front desk, so she went to the door marked 'landlord' and gave it a few quick knocks. She took a step back when the door was abruptly opened.

"What d'ya want?" the landlord demanded.

Rose gulped, but remained composed. "I'm sorry to bother you so early in the morning, sir, but I was wondering if you knew of any doctors in town," she waited for a few moments, but didn't receive any kind of response. "My fi- um, my husband has fallen ill, and I would feel a whole lot better if a doctor saw him. I just want to be sure that he's okay."

The man sighed as he leaned his head back, probably wishing that he was somewhere far away from here.

"There's one about two blocks up from here," he finally replied. "His place is the first one to the right. You can't miss him. His name's Dr. Nielson."

A sigh of relief escaped her lips. "Thank you so much, I really appreciate it."

"Yeah," he said before shutting the door.

She didn't really like the landlord. He was rude and insensitive, and could probably use a bath or two, but right now, none of that mattered. She had to get the doctor before she'd be late for work. She followed the directions the landlord gave her and came across a reddish-brown apartment building. She stepped through the front door and found a stocky middle-aged man walking down the steps.

"Excuse me, sir, does a Dr. Nielson reside here?"

"He most certainly does, ma'am," he offered her a smile.

"Do you happen to know which apartment he lives in? My husband has fallen ill —"

"No need to look any further, my dear. I'm Dr. Nielson. I was just about to head out for my morning walk."

"Oh," she paused for a moment. "I hope you wouldn't mind if . . ."

"Of course not. I'll go get my things."

Once Dr. Nielson got his medical bag in hand, Rose led him back to the apartment and into the bedroom, where Jack was coughing profusely. The doctor quickly checked him over and asked him a few questions before he set his things back in his back and looked to Rose.

"It appears that your husband has caught the flu."

Her breath caught in her throat. "Will he be all right?"

"As long as he rests and drinks lots of fluids, he should be fine," Dr. Nielson replied. "If he doesn't get better in the next few days, you come and get me, okay?"

Rose could only manage to nod as she looked over at Jack with a hint of concern flashing through her eyes. Her heart was pounding. She nearly lost him once; she couldn't bear the thought of nearly losing him again. She took in a deep breath and turned to the doctor.

"Well, I should get going," Dr. Nielson said after he packed his medical tools back into his bag. "It's been a pleasure meeting you, Mrs. Dawson." He turned to Jack and offered a smile. "You should get as much rest as you can, Mr. Dawson. It's vital for your health."

A few coughs erupted through Jack before he could manage a hoarse response. "Yes, sir. Thank you."

"Good day," Dr. Nielson tipped his hat and walked off into the parlor room with Rose close behind.

"Thank you, Dr. Nielson," Rose said as she walked him to the door. "I really appreciate you coming in such a short notice."

"No need to thank me, luv," he said with a smile. "I'm just doing my job."

Rose returned the smile and opened the door for him. He tipped his hat to her one last time and walked down the hallway and out the front door. Rose breathed a sigh of relief and shut the door behind her. She placed a hand on her forehead and closed her eyes, trying to calm her rapid beating heart. She stood there for a few moments, taking deep and easy breaths, before she walked back into the bedroom to check on Jack. She saw that he was already fast asleep with his head turned away from her. His chest rose and fell in slow and steady rhythms as slept, and behind each breath he took, she could hear a soft, rumbling snore. She walked over to him and pulled the covers up to his chin as she leaned down and kissed his forehead.

"Sleep well, Jack," she whispered softly. "I love you."

She admired his sleeping form for a few brief moments before she strode over to the bureau and pulled out a sheet of paper where she scribbled a quick note and left it on the pillow beside him. She then disappeared into the parlor room and grabbed hold of her work uniform which was placed neatly on the sofa. She grabbed the rest of her necessities and stepped out into the hallway and headed toward the bathroom. She knocked on the door and heard no response so she went in and locked the door behind her. She spent the next half hour taking a quick bath and getting ready for work. Once she was done getting dressed, she glanced at her reflection in the mirror and started to work on her hair. She did the best she could to pin her curls up as neatly as possible, and once she was done with that, she gathered up her clothes and opened the door, nearly bumping into one of the tenants.

"Oh, pardon me, sir," Rose said, startled. "I didn't see you."

"It's quite all right, miss," the man said with a strong Scottish accent.

Rose gave him a half smile and excused herself as she brushed past him and headed toward her apartment door.

"Oi! Hold on a minute, lass," the man called as Rose stopped and turned around. "I didn't get to introduce myself." He kindly held his hand out in greeting and smiled. "I'm Camden Wallace, but you may call me Cam."

Rose smiled and offered her left hand, making sure he saw her engagement ring, before she properly introduced herself.

"Rose, what a pretty name," Cam said as he placed a soft kiss upon her delicate hand.

Rose pulled her hand back and took a step back. "Um, thank you," she flashed him an awkward smile. "I have to run along now. I've got things to do."

"Well, I'll see you around then."

Rose could only nod as she stepped inside her apartment and carefully shut the door behind her. She quickly checked the time and found that it was a quarter to eight; she was running a bit late for work. She tossed her clothes on the sofa and slipped into her work shoes before she started heading for Joe's Café.


Jack let out a soft groan as a stream of sunlight illuminated the room. He tried going back to sleep, but it was no use. He slowly sat himself up against the wall and yawned which only caused for him to erupt into a fit of coughs. Once he regained himself, he took in a deep breath and discovered the slip of paper placed on the pillow beside him. He felt a smile curve upon his lips at the familiar handwriting.

Jack,

I just wanted to let you know that I will be at work until four this afternoon. I should be home no later than half past four. Do get well and be sure to eat! You are far too thin for your own good. I love you, sweetheart. I will see you soon.

Yours,

Rose

Jack folded the note and slipped it into the drawer of the night table beside him. As he got up from the bed, he started to feel a headache coming on. He pressed his fingers against his temple and sat back down, hoping that the nauseating feeling would dissipate. Soon after, he felt a cool breeze flowing through the cracked window behind him. He grabbed the blanket from the bottom of the bed and wrapped it around himself as he started to shiver. Despite the fact that he was freakishly cold, beads of sweat were rolling down his face. He suffered through a few more sets of coughs before he finally laid back and stared up at the ceiling, wondering how long this illness will last. He was burning with a fever, he had a terrible headache, his throat was sore from all the coughing he's done, and every breath he took made his chest hurt. His eyes suddenly began to droop and it wasn't long before he finally fell into a dreamless slumber.

Though his whole body ached, which made it difficult for him to sleep, thoughts of Rose gave him the comfort he needed in order to catch a few more hours of rest. He could only hope that this will help speed up his recovery.


Rose was cleaning up the tables while Sylvia took care of the customers. They usually alternated their duties after they had their lunch break to give themselves some variety and to make the day go by faster. It was already half past two in the afternoon; Rose would finish her shift in a few hours and she could hardly wait. She wanted to go home to Jack. Ever since she left for work, she felt on edge. She was worried that Jack's condition would get worse and with her not being home, she was afraid that he wouldn't be able to call for help if things did. She quickly pushed the troubling thoughts away and focused on her task at hand. Worrying wouldn't do her any good, especially not now.

It took her another ten minutes to clean out the vacant tables before she went back to the counter to help Sylvia with the oncoming customers. As she was preparing her customer's order, she noticed Camden, her neighboring tenant from her building, walk in. He caught her gaze and winked as he waited patiently behind the customer she was already helping. Rose handed her customer her order as well as her change after she paid. Once the lady walked off, Camden stepped up and leaned against the counter.

"Hello again," he greeted with a smile. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Well, I do happen to work here," she said wryly. Even though Camden is incredibly attractive with his dark hair and warm brown eyes, she didn't like the fact that he was openly flirting with her.

"I can see that now," he said as he looked into her eyes and smiled. "Well, luv, I'd like to have a nice hot cup of tea and a buttered biscuit."

"Coming right up," Rose announced after she scribbled down his order and went on her way to prepare it. Once she was through with that, she gave him his tea and biscuit and told him the price to which he paid her a few dollars extra.

"Keep the change," he said when he saw her handing him the extra bills.

"Oh, thank you," she offered him a smile of gratitude as she slipped her tip into her pocket and stuffed the rest in the till.

"You're very welcome," he smiled and raised his cup to her. "Enjoy the rest of your day, luv."

"Thanks, you too," she said while he went to take a seat by the storefront window.

Sylvia had been watching the entire time and came to notice the ring she wore on her left finger. "So, he's the lucky one, isn't he?"

"Pardon?" Rose turned to her new friend with a furrowed brow.

"The lucky man that you're going to marry," Sylvia stated as she pointed to Rose's engagement ring.

Rose looked down at her ring and had to laugh. "Oh, no, he's just my neighbor," she said. "I've only met him today. The man that I am going to marry . . ."