Ok, people. I hope you like this chapter. It was making me laugh today. And since I am in my office; catching up on paperwork, a little laughter is always a good thing! I hope you all had an amazing mother's day. My mom does not read my fan fic, but she's always been supportive in anything I wanted to do. So this chapter is for you, Ma. Even if you never read it. (Review if you can...I'm trapped in the office for the rest of the day and require entertainment!)
"Dudes, we need to have an intervention"
It was the last week of school; most of the finals had already been administered and students and teachers both were eager for the last five days to fly by so that summer could begin.
Well...most teachers. Mr. Shue hadn't let up. Even with only a few days remaining, he'd instructed them to meet at the usual time for Glee, informing them that he had one final assignment for them before they embarked on their summer vacation.
This was why they were currently seated in the choir room, awaiting his arrival. Puck had waved Kurt over upon his arrival to Glee, which was mildly surprising. It wasn't that he wasn't friends with Puck...it's just that they didn't have much in common. He didn't know how to play beer pong, and Puck refused to let Kurt manicure his nails. They were at an impasse.
But; differences aside, he now apparently wanted Kurt and the other boys from Glee; minus Dave, who hadn't arrived yet, to participate in some kind of intervention. Kurt couldn't imagine what he meant by it; and so he lent the discussion only half an ear, his eyes fixed on the door, awaiting Dave' arrival.
"It's Karofsky"
At Puck's mention of Dave; Kurt's head whipped around so fast, he almost fell out of his chair. Quickly resituating himself, he couldn't stop himself from speaking.
"Wha…umm...excuse me, what? You want to have an intervention with Dave?"
Puck; along with Sam, Mike, Finn, and Artie turned questioning eyes toward Kurt. This was the first time they had ever heard him refer to his former bully by his first name.
Chuckling nervously; Kurt attempted to distract the group from his uncharacteristic slip.
"Umm...what's up with Karofsky? Is he drinking? That's what interventions are for, right? People with addictions? Because let's add Finn to that list. He won't put down the cheetos."
Kurt's voice and forced laughter sounded unnaturally loud, even to his own ears. He hoped the warmth he could feel spreading up his chest didn't keep going up to his cheeks. The last thing he needed was to try and explain why he was blushing at the mere mention of Dave.
Luckily for him; Puck was easily placated.
"Very funny, Hummel, and I agree. Hudson, you need to put down the cheetos, man. They're going straight to your gut. But Dave's got a bigger problem, dudes. For him, we need to have a…girl intervention."
The other boys nodded knowingly, sharing conspiratorial smiles. Kurt's face; however, was blank. A girl intervention? Was this something every heterosexual boy knew about? Why was everyone else nodding? What had Kurt missed?
For one desperate moment Kurt wondered if some kind of manual existed that was handed down from father to son, which explained girls and relationships. Maybe he hadn't gotten it because he was gay. Maybe his dad would give it to Finn. He was going to look for it the minute he got home, he was…
Reining in his thoughts; Kurt hid his confusion by pasting on his most superior smile, and tilted his head in inquiry, his voice displaying only casual and bored inquiry.
"A girl intervention, Puckerman? "
Puck instantly looked contrite. Well, as contrite as Puck could look.
"Oh sorry, Hummel. I don't know if you gay dudes do this kind of thing. It's kind of a guy code thing."
Before Kurt could remind Puck that he was; in fact, a guy, the other boy continued.
"Listen, here's what up. Over the last several days; weeks even, and especially this past weekend at our first weekend of football camp, I've noticed that something is off with Karofsky"
"How so?" Kurt couldn't resist asking.
"He's acting like a freaking nut job! I thought it might be drugs or something, but then I heard him singing to himself. Singing! Some girl has got our boy twisted in knots. His head has been in the clouds, he's smiling all the damn time, he's missing tackles, he refused to come to my tent on Friday for our annual first weekend of football camp Playboy reading party, and Saturday night…and this stays just between us guys…I heard him on the phone. Singing again. And not some kick ass song by White Snake or anything...it was, some Broadway song or something. Then he said "I miss you, babe." "
Kurt remembered that call. Dave had sung him "Somewhere" from West Side Story. Kurt had dropped his ipod that day, and all of his Broadway was on it; but not on his phone. Kurt had mentioned that he usually fell asleep to his ipod on it's dock, playing Broadway. He'd been stunned when Dave had tentatively began singing the Tony line from "Somewhere" and he'd quickly jumped in with the Maria line. By the end of the song, tears had been pouring down his cheeks. Dave had told him he'd missed him, and Kurt had to hang up, before he drove the few miles to the school and climbed in Dave's tent with him. '
Reorienting himself to the present, Kurt could see that Puck's revelations appeared to shock the group of assembled boys. Since joining Glee they had all noticed Dave making some changes, becoming more friendly and basically a fairly nice guy, but that didn't mean that he wasn't still a jock. A tough; close mouthed member of their elite ranks. He might shed a tear while singing about his feelings, but heck; they all had at one point or another.
This was something completely different. Dave's apparent lack of interest in football camp; his general state of good cheer, his day dreaming, his singing of Broadway..all were a cause for serious concern to the guys of Glee.
And Puck wasn't done sharing with the group. Leaning in; he beckoned them all forward, until they formed a tight circle with their chairs.
"And that's not all. This girl; she has got to be yanking his chain. Or rather NOT yanking his chain, if you know what I mean. She's a teaser. I recognize the symptoms well. I mean, have you seen him lately? He sits in Glee; on the edge of his seat, looking like he's about to pounce on someone. Every time he gets a text message, his whole face turns bright red, dude. The other day I saw him coming out of the choir room and his shirt was all buttoned up wrong and he looked like he'd been hit by a truck."
Kurt; his face burning, in a state of complete shock, couldn't stop himself from interjecting here.
"That doesn't sound like someone being teased. Maybe...she's...giving him something"
Puck shook his head decisively.
"No, man. If there is one thing I pride myself on, it's knowing who will and will not put out, and who is and is not getting any. I'm kind of a sex psychic. And let me tell you; I haven't seen this kind of sexual frustration since Finn was dating Rachel."
The whole group; Kurt included, groaned sympathetically. Sam then asked,
"So, what's our move here?"
Puck smiled, nodding his head at the group.
"Glad you asked, Sammy. We grab Karofsky before he can leave Glee today, and we tell him that he has got to get rid of this teasing bitch. If she hasn't given it to him by now, he isn't ever going to get it. I don't need him all messed up and emotional, where he can't focus and block for Finn. We aren't going out like that our senior year…oh yeah, and we care about him and all that crap"
Kurt didn't know what emotion was stronger in him at that moment. Admiration, outrage, or pride.
Admiration that Puck wasn't as dim witted as he let other people think. And that he was; in fact, some kind of deranged puppet master.
Outrage at the way they were conspiring to run interference in Dave's personal life, with little to no understanding of what was really going on.
Pride that he affected Dave so strongly he couldn't hide it.
"What's going on, guys?"
Dave's curious voice, sounding from just above their heads, startled them all. Kurt almost fell out of his seat again and their tight circle of chairs disbanded.
Flushing; he kept his head down as he heard Puck feed Dave some lie about talking about football camp and their last Glee assignment.
Dave was clearly skeptical; his tone of voice revealing his suspicion. But after a minute, he resumed his normal seat, the row behind Kurt, one seat over from Puckerman. Looking at the clock, Kurt realized Mr. Shue would be there at any moment. Maybe he had time for one quick text.
Just then; his phone buzzed. Tapping on his message button, he looked at the text. It was from Dave.
What was going on with Puck? Are you ok; you look a little out of it?
Kurt quickly tapped his reply on the touch screen.
Just wait. Puck is worried about you.
Dave's reply came within seconds.
?
Kurt heaved a sigh; not sure if it would be wise to warn Dave or not. Figuring it was probably better for him to be prepared, he sent out a reply.
Puck wants to have an intervention with you after Glee. Something about a 'girl' in your life, who you have been singing to, and who is apparently 'teasing' you.
Clicking send, he waited for Dave's reply, his breath lodged in his throat.
His phone buzzed.
They're giving me the 'teaser not a pleaser' intervention? I invented that intervention! Puck is so unoriginal.
Kurt was stunned. Maybe there was a manual. He was going to confront his dad tonight. He always knew that there was something he was holding back from Kurt, but tonight he was going to get his hands on that thing, he was...
His phone buzzed again.
To tell you the truth, I probably do need the intervention. The boy in my life, he is kind of a tease.
Kurt couldn't conceal his gasp of outrage. Brittany looked over at him as if he'd gone mad. Maybe this relationship was making him crazy, he mused.
He could hear the muffled sound of Dave's laughter from the row above him.
He quickly sent a reply.
Oh yeah? That's weird, because I'm dating a tease too. I asked him to come over last night after football camp, but he said he couldn't.
Smugly smiling, he waited for the reply. And waited. And waited.
Finally, after two minutes (where the hell was Mr. Shue?) his phone buzzed.
I wanted to come over to your house so bad, Kurt. You know I can't be alone with you. It's too much. You don't know how hard it is to even be in the same room. You are so close to me right now and not being able to touch you, it's making my hands shake. I can barely text.
Kurt drew in a sharp breath, his cheeks flaming, heart pounding.
His phone buzzed again. A text from Noah Puckerman. From the receiver line it looked like he'd sent it to multiple phones.
Dudes, this is what I am talking about. Look at him now!
Kurt nervously angled his head; seeing all the boys of Glee trying to casually look at the same time.
Dave was sitting on the edge of his seat, his foot tapping convulsively. His cheeks were flushed; mouth clenched tightly and eyes glittering.
Heat shot through Kurt, making his toes curl and his breath quicken. He'd never seen the other boy look so sexy.
Mr. Shue; with the world's worst timing, chose that moment to walk into the room.
"Hey everyone! Sorry for the delay, Coach Sylvester stopped me in the hall and tried to sell me a timeshare to her basement. "
Shaking his head, he faced the glee club. Apparently even he could feel that something was up.
"Is everything ok, guys? "
The club reassured him that everything was fine and; shrugging his shoulders, he continued. By the end of the hour, they all had a list of summer goals, a schedule for the beginning of the new year, an invitation to a mid summer Glee barbecue at Mr. Shue's, and their last assignment.
Since their schedules were open on the final Friday of class, he'd asked them all to spend the day in Glee with him and to have each of them pick a song that was representative of their year. He promised them pizza and a Glee concert, with each of them as a performer.
Everyone was enthusiastic about the plan, and song ideas already were being tossed around and discussed.
Kurt had no idea what to sing. This year had brought so much change and struggle and joy. He could have sung almost any song, and had it mean something.
He wondered what Dave would sing.
Just then, the bell rang. Puck began walking over towards Dave.
Oh God. It was time for intervention.
