Scattered Memory.
by CupcakeLerman
Chapter 9: Rejection of Fate - Part I
"She's just a girl I know."
"I don't know, Roxas...you've been spending a lot of time with her..."
"...What, I can't hang around girls anymore?"
"No, all I'm saying is...maybe you..."
"Mom. Just...no. I'm not into her like that," I tried reasoning with my mom.
The sky was dimly back dropped with the bold moonlight as I walked home with Tifa by my side. At the end of the fair, we both agreed to walk home together; half because I was scared shitless—fearing every corner like a repeat of the earlier events—and half because I didn't want her exactly around that untrustworthy Cloud. I had encountered Tifa directly after I had a little meet up with Naminé. Tifa was holding hands intently with the weather-named man I despised with all my being, naturally. They gazed into each other's eyes, infatuated with the very sight of each other. I didn't want to feel like I was a peeping little kid or anything by spying on them, but, I figured it was different. To be honest, Tifa was closer to a sisterly-figure than the motherly role she had gladly volunteered for.
I realized after about thirty minutes too long of staring that maybe I should've been doing something else, like monitoring our hallway. After that little scarred-for-life experience I never wanted to relive, I decided that Xion, Sora, and his group should win first place for best exhibit, which they thoroughly deserved. What did I do? Set up a mirror house and attempted to scare people. Even though we did get positive feedback about it, it wasn't as adequately as "life-changing" as Sora's idea. And the objective to target one person in particular? Fascinating; unless that one person happens to be you.
Now honored with the third place trophy, Tifa and I were making our way home, with me ignoring Mr. Conflict's begging pleas to lend us a ride home. I had to admit, riding in the shiny sleek convertible did seem like a convincible idea, but that wasn't the point. I had pushed him aside, explaining rationally that we could walk the few blocks, spun in the other direction, and almost directly collided with an almost-as-startled Naminé.
"Oh, hey, sorry about that," I had apologized to her, brushing her shoulders off slowly. She almost seemed to come out of nowhere, her presence seemingly non-detectable.
"It's okay, Roxas. Congrats on the third place, huh. I'll see you on Monday?" she grinned, her face shining happily as the sun began to set behind her.
"Oh, sure...Great job with the exhibit, and with the whole prank on me," I said, tapping her on the shoulder, referring to her involvement in my almost death.
"You're welcome, Roxas," she says, a somewhat insidious grin sneaking to her lips. I didn't know what to make of it; a foreboding of a future occurrence? No, it probably didn't pertain to that one phrase she had spoken earlier that completely perturbed me. I don't know what it could've been, but it persuaded me enough to not notice where she had walked off to, without even a simple exchange of a goodbye.
Meanwhile, my mother had finished her praising and recognition of Cloud's magnificent two-seater sports vehicle and allowed him to speed off, leaving Tifa and I to relish in the dust cloud it had created. She waved her hand reluctantly in the direction the car sped off to, promising to see him soon.
"Why didn't you go with him?" I asked, somewhat a little contemptible about being the reason he left her with me. I wasn't much of a scapegoat in any situation.
"He's bringing his daughter home," she replied, dusting her black skirt and combing through her hair. From her expression, I could see the admiration in her eyes, the pride that she discovered under the discretion that she was dating this man. We started walking, and she seemed pretty fine with us walking home instead of our neighbors taking us home.
"He has a daughter?" I accusingly point out, knowing undoubtedly that it was true. I hadn't know of that fact until now. "Nice one."
She ignores my arrogant comment and continues walking. I keep pace with her, and slowly but surely, I noticed that our humble abode was coming closer and closer. I pulled my keys out when we reached the front door, not stunned by the fact that Cloud's glowing leisure vehicle was conveniently parked outside that shiny house across the street. With a slight twist from the knob, our door opens and I lead Tifa inside while I settle my coat down and set the table for dinner.
—- - - -
I had such a long weekend that I decide to cancel all those plans I had for Sunday and call it a weekend. Before I can even think about putting my feet up and reclining or even lifting a bowl out of the cupboard, I find myself blinking and wincing not so willingly back in school under the heavy drenching fluorescent lighting. Oh, what I'd kill for it to be the weekend once again.
At lunch I find myself sitting at my initial table together with all my original friends. I don't even remember how long it had been since it was that way. Slowly, I realize that none of us are speaking or conversing. After that eventful and stifling weekend fair, I would expect us retelling a repeated story about how Roxas was scared to death by none other than the mischievous Sora. He is sitting across from me, adjusting his white polo collar, hinting at the unusual tension. Kairi is sitting rather stiffly at his left, her hands folded on top of the table. Xion, wearing her trademark black sweater, fiddled with her strands of hair awkwardly, her eyes glimpsing towards me on her left and to basically everything around the room. Riku, who even bothered to come to school today, was sitting five chairs away from us, resting his head of silver on the lunch table.
Thankfully, with the flip of a switch, we find our mouths prepared to start talking all at once. I look to everyone else to see if they felt it too, and, by the look on their faces, they look more than eager to. We realize that it had been slightly too long since we were all together like this. It was a wonder we were still friends. But suddenly, we all had the urge to resume conversation like we used to.
"C'mon, Roxas...come to the Junior Prom with me?" I first hear from behind me. Turning in my seat, I see a trio of similar-looking girls flashing and battin their eyes at me. One of them is staring intently into my eyes, making an attempt to allure me to say thoughtless words in her favor.
"Sorry, girls. I'm not looking to go," I politely respond. There is a look of regret and disappointment on their faces, and I don't feel the least bit bad. I don't even know them; why would I associate with them, a crowd of attention-seeking self-centered girls?
"Nice going, Roxas," a smirking Sora says to me, his face mischievous and sly, mocking my choice.
"Hey, I don't exactly know them, so..." I argued, knowing fully well that I was right to say no. Kairi begins perking up at all the commotion.
"Hey, Roxas. Then who are you gonna go with now?" Sora says, thinking I'm particularly stumped on that, when I already knew the answer.
"I don't know...it's like, next week. Why don't I wait for someone else..." I suggest, patting my blond hair reflexively. Quietly in my head, I am thinking, "Hey, why not go with you-know-who! You know...her!" Would I be thrilled to go with her? Question is...would she be thrilled to go with me?
"Hey, Kairi, want to go with me to the Junior prom?" I hear Sora say, not the slightest confident, just trying to pretend he's not nervous at all. To my right, Xion stifles a giggle, her ocean eyes teary and revealing her happy nature.
"Sure, Sora!" Kairi agrees happily, nearly bouncing off her seat. Her auburn hair flies in several directions as she spins in her chair, hyped from Sora's abrupt request.
"You guys aren't even allowed to go," I say, laughing at their conversation. Xion laughs loudly right next to me.
"Duh," Sora replies. "Sneak in...we practically look like juniors, right?" He puts a nervous arm around Kairi's shoulder, slowly and hesistantly, like the way he always does with only Kairi. I take a reviewing look at the two perfect-smiling kids and grinning like the sophomores they are. "Sure do, Sora," I say sarcastically, judging randomly and laughing at their gullibleness.
"Then it's settled. Kairi, Roxas, and I are going to Junior Prom, when the reality is...only one-third of those people are juniors," Sora acknowledged with a whimsical smile inching on the corner of his lips.
"Good luck with that," I say, fully knowing that security is pretty tough on prom day, ready to eject and receive prom goers. Speaking of prom, I still had to make the decision of actually going. I didn't necessarily have anyone to go with yet, and I didn't think proms were my kind of thing. It was all...frills and streamers and sparkles, that day, nothing more but another memorable day made by the juniors and seniors alike.
However, the question peaked my interest for the entire day. I couldn't stop questioning myself—maybe I should go, maybe I shouldn't! This is the most thought I had ever paid to social gatherings labeled as "dances." I'd shake off any requests from Sora, Kairi, Olette, and others to go as a group just because I could do something better that day. But, now, this junior prom idea didn't sound so bad...
"Roxas!" Naminé yells from across the hallway. I hurry to her side, skirting around hoards of wandering people, eventually making it to her side.
"Oh, Namine, I was just thinking of you," I admit shyly. She looked happy and said, "Why?"
"Oh, you'll know soon," I hint. We continue making our way to the elective hall. We silently strode there, my hand somehow inching towards hers suspiciously, like I wasn't commanding my hand to, but it somehow did unconsciously, like I meant to do it...
Naminé politely interrupts our lingering silence, looking up towards me with still eyes. "Roxas?" she asks, her eyes probing me. "Yeah?" I reply, almost lost in a lot of thought.
"Want to come over my house today?" she says quietly yet confidently, and I'm more than surprised. I feel so willing, like I wanted her to ask that very question. It was a lot similar to that certain prom question I was just thinking about asking her...
"...I mean, so we can like, you know...talk, about...things...we haven't talked about yet...?" she says slowly, somehow deciding if she should really be asking me about this. I look imploringly at her cute face looking at mine for a nervous answer. Was I really begging her to invite me over?
"Y-Yeah why not?," I found myself saying. Inside, I was feeling extremely relieved that she was allowing me to go to her house after school. I felt so trapped in school that I couldn't really speak to her about anything I really wished to talk to her about, such as that freakish stalker on the news that I was particularly worried about, and just to know her better. I barely even knew her hometown, and this seemed like the perfect opportunity to swivel things around.
So with that conversation away, and the tell-tale bell ringing for the start of a new period, I eagerly looked forward to after school. I finally would get to meet Naminé's parents, and know more about her, like a friend should really feel about each other. There were so many questions I began preparing, and formal introductions I had rehearsed in my head over and over for her parents.
"Sir Strife, yeah, up here!" I faintly hear while I'm staring a little spacey outside the window. I don't pay any attention to words not directly aimed towards me until a loud bang echoes from my table. It's the sound of my knees, in fact my whole body, lurching upwards, banging on my table. I nearly fell back out of place until a hand pushed me back. It's Ven's. He looked a little amused, almost like he had nothing better to do then to push me back up, but everyone in the class looked that way during the last periods.
"Mr. Roxas," Mr. Fair says to me from the front of the classroom before placing a black remote back in his drawer. "Please pay attention next time, or I'll bump it up to five shocks." Of course. It was the electric shock chairs we patented last month, officially nicknamed the "death remote." I very much regret building that.
"Y-Yes...sir," I say, a little frazzled from the electric shock. I'm rubbing my static-sparking hair, almost forgetting the effects of static electricity. Ven's amused smile now turns into an entertained look.
When the clock had hit three, I was the first to push back on my chair and grabbing my bag. I wave a goodbye to Mr. Fair and Ventus, their expressions a little confused, and I'm silently hoping they wouldn't come and talk to me about anything. I drift through the sea of teenagers trying to be the first to leave too, and I finally get to my locker, retrieve my jacket, and give the locker door a big slap. It finally shuts for the day. I stride towards the same tree in the front of the school, our usual meeting spot, and I see her bright blond hair waving in the breeze next to the tree. She waves me over, and I just want to be there immediately, not to keep a lady waiting.
But right when I'm about to approach her, a strident shriek yells my name. "ROXAS! ROXAS! ROXAS!" an oddly dyed-haired man yells towards me, his hair pointing in all different directions. His trivial green eyes are shockingly bright, but not as insanely fluorescent and creepy as his irrationally unnatural fire-colored hair. For a moment, I began wondering to myself why some mentally unstable pyromaniac or red-centric kid would come and approach me. Faintly, I remembered that remarkable hair as it bobbed uncontrollably towards me.
"WE ONLY HAVE TIME FOR ONE ROXAS, WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I holler back, frustrated at his lack of natural hair and annoying coincidence at interrupting a moment of peace.
The man looks a bit taken aback at me yelling at him, but how couldn't he have seen that I'm in a hurry? He's wearing the senior sweater theyare usually given to optionally wear, and I assume he's in the senior class ahead of me. He looks pretty familiar, so I don't know how to approach him after yelling at him. He clears his through and regains composure before talking to me.
"Your exhibit at the House of Horrors was AWESOME. Like, I looked in every single mirror, and I'm just like 'Wow, what a rip-off,' and then I see this freaky-looking woman pop out of the mirror and I am scarred for LIFE. Dude, I'm your biggest fan! My name's Axel, by the way, you know, super badass-looking part-time news reporter for the local news? Yeah, that's me...get it memorized..."
"Thanks and all, Axel..." I took a moment to take a fleeting glance at Naminé's posture to see if she appeared ready leave. I had noticed she wasn't paying attention to my truancy, so I slowed my words a little. Turning back to Axel to cue him to hurry along, I say, "But I need to catch up with someone—"
He followed my speedy peek, and now it seemed like he understood everything. "OH, I see, Roxas...fight, fight, fight..." I had no idea what that was supposed to mean.
He tossed me a business card with his serious-ass picture on it, him smiling maniacally as if to announce, 'I'm on the news almost every day and I look so much better than you.' It wasn't exactly pleasing.
"Gimme a call, Roxas!" and he took off in the opposite direction, spazzing every few feet, yelling into the air, "ROXAS, ROXAS, ROXAS!" At first I don't even think to trust him or anything, but I guess I may have to look out for him later. I flip the calling card momentarily to look over whatever credentials he had presented, and saw he also had several other professions lined up, like a resume.
"Who was that?" Naminé's voice tells me. I look up from the card. Her voice sounds whispy, like I didn't actually hear it with my own ears, but more like it was a relapsed message through headphones.
I turn around to try to face her. "Oh, it was just—" My eyes move side to side, above and below, wondering where she was if I could hear her very closely. I am appalled to find that she is still standing by the distinct tree in the distance, unmoving and stationary. Her hand rests on the bark while she is standing firmly towards me, smiling towards me, almost edging me in her direction just with that. My mind is racing into different directions, trying to decipher what to make of this. An illusion? A made-up reality? And despite all the signs that have been given off recently that suggest me in a different direction, I abstractly out-of-my-being begin to walk myself towards that looming tree with the spectator underneath it. Her hand is unwavering, as if to reassure me that I should walk over and nothing can abruptly stop me. And nothing does.
—- - - -
"You know the way to my house?" Naminé says while lying on her aqua-plush bed, precariously dipping pretzel sticks into a hazelnut-spread jar.
"Yeah, why?" I reply from her multi-colored computer chair. I seem cool and collected spinning around on the swivel chair, but inside I'm over excitedly spinning around in my Ferris wheel imagination. Of course, I'd never say that Naminé.
She bites into the pretzel stick, licking the chocolate-hazelnut off her fingertips. "I love the cherry blossoms they have there on sale at the market."
"Oh really?" I say, stopping my revolving world to try to have a straight face on. "My mom was given one yesterday." By Cloud Strife, I'd unhappily add in my mind.
"Hm. My dad bought one yesterday, and I haven't seen it yet. I'm very eager to. Maybe I could sketch it someday," Naminé thoughtfully says. A smudge of hazelnut spread stays on the corner of her lips as she reaches for another pretzel out of the jar. I am unhesitant when I push the wheels of the chair across her wood flooring to her bed. Before she takes another bite out of the pretzel, I touch the tip of my finger on my lips and touch that little corner of her pink lips stained by the chocolate she left behind. It happens so fast, I don't even react to my actions. In fact, I didn't even reflect on those events ever again. It was another second nature, like trusting her when normally it would be so hard to place trust in someone so mysterious. She notices my change in behavior herself, her eyes lifting lightly to meet mine, but she pays no action to apprehending anything.
"By the way, where are your parents?" I ask her, still cleaning the smudge like a parent to a child. When I finish, I put my hands on the chair, hoping that she wouldn't scold me for such an untimely action. Naminé didn't look a bit flustered. She appeared as if she also thought of it as second nature. Appeased with a happy grin on her face, she happily chewed on another pretzel while saying, "My mother's out with my brothers, and my father visits his old friends on these days."
"Wow, you must be a busy family," I say, almost reluctant to thinking if I should continue in this conversation.
"Yes, they are," Naminé says, slowly chewing on the stick quietly, thinking to herself.
For a moment there is a still silence filled with muffled chewing and my chair's hinges squeaking from me spinning around and around. I am still diffident on asking Naminé to the prom, but I can't help but wonder—what'll she say? Could she say no? Of course she could, but, would she...?
While I'm lost in thought, Naminé stands from her bed and places her food on the nightstand. She then bends over and retrieves a sketchpad and colored pencils from her bag. Fixing herself back on the bed, she rolls her red sweater sleeves up and opens the pad. Colors swirl in multidimensional spaces; Monochrome drawings took up nearly a dozen pages of the book; and details were carved into the creative design of Naminé's interior mind on paper. This is what lifts me from the thoughts incomparable to hers.
"Naminé, I know you're a good artist and all, but...this is fantastic. Enough to fantasize having your skill for," I comment, still surprised for her sudden act of artistic talent.
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Thank you, Roxas. I only started last year, when I wasn't attempting to skateboard like a professional." She lifts a dark blue colored pencil with a dull tip and suddenly asks, "Can I draw you, Roxas?"
It may have been an abrupt question that I should have given some thought to, but instead, I hastily say, "Oh, sure," as if this offer would decline itself.
Without another word, she sets to drawing. I pay attention to her minute details, since the idea I was taking in my head was to draw her a picture to prom. I highly guaranteed that would not work out, with my highly disappointing art skills. Every few seconds though, she'd stall her blooming art to sharpen a dull pencil. Some of the pencils were smaller than the length of my fingers, too. She ignored the extra amount of work she had to put into this drawing or sharpening her already skewed pencils, and was still sketching nevertheless.
By the time I left her house, I still hadn't met her parents, or eaten dinner, or finish a scrap of homework, but I did have an accurate sketch of myself. It seemed a little like Déjà vu, seeing another artwork of me from Naminé...
Walking in the empty hallways overlooking the courtyard, I looked on the walls, which were decorated with prodigy work; Naminé's included. I smiled when my tracing finger overlapped her abstract painting adorned on the wall. A hooded figure in black in front of a crystal fissure. The figure appeared to look like he was running, and it seemed that...that he was—tall...slender...and...blonde—me.
I paused in front of it while my head began to ache. I let it pass, since I was still admiring this hidden portrayal as me...Naminé. She had done this. I wasn't the least bit embarrassed, but more of...happy?
Which blatantly reminded me that I had forgotten to ask her where she really was from! Ugh, how could I even think to go to the prom with someone when I didn't even know her hometown, or her surname? Leaving her house, I don't even pay attention to my surroundings. There wasn't anything noticeable; just some other affluent looking houses and their high-class vehicles parked in front. In front of Naminé's house, there are two pricey cars parked in the driveway. I sucked in all the temptation to climb into the sleek gold one just for pretend and turn a right to pass the market before I made my way home.
I opened the door with a grocery bag in hand to find my mother sprawled on the floor with a blanket over her. I was about to walk over to her to see what had happened, until I saw a looming Cloud over her, his eyebrows knit with concern.
"Hey! Cloud! What do you think you're—"
"Shh," he said, placing a finger over his mouth in a hushed manner. "You'll wake Tifa."
As I stepped closer I noticed she was breathing softly, whistling in her sleep, as the blanket seemed to cradle her position on the floor. She was sound asleep, hoping not to be bothered by anyone. Which begged the question...why was she on the floor?
"I know, I know, bad situation to be in," Mr. Strife said hesitantly when he saw me close the door.
"You're telling me! You better explain this to me, dad—"
"Shh, Roxas. Your mother can tell you the story." He places a hand on my shoulder, trying to reassure my peaked nerves, but just raising my blood pressure a little higher with intimidated anger.
"Listen," he continued. "When she wakes up, tell her I'll see her this weekend, and that I love her. Got that, buddy?" He grins like I was assigned to keep a secret.
"Sure." I finally say, debating if he really knew who I was.
"Thanks, Roxas. Be a good boy, now. You're a legacy!" He grabs his coat and car keys off the coffee table and heads out the door while I stand by the door and watch. He sees me still standing guard and waves to me before he climbs into the driver side of his fancy vehicle. The engine roars to life, loud enough to wake Tifa, but he drives down the road anyways.
I turned my attention to my mother lying on the floor. She was still breathing softly and looked rather peaceful there. In her pleasant silence, I hoped she was having wonderful dreams—any dream she possibly wanted, even if it was against my wishes. Because in that intricate moment, I knew that it wasn't all about me. She should enjoy her life, whether I was in it or not.
"Hi, Roxas," a ragged voice says, lifting from the floor. Tifa rises to see my eyes, her hair messy and clothes a little ruffled. "Cloud left?"
"Just did," I said, thumbing towards the door. He wanted to remind you that he loves you...and that he'll see you this weekend for something...what, now?"
"Oh, Roxas," she says, standing from her makeshift bed. "I want us to have dinner together. As a family," she said excitedly.
"Ugh," I groaned, obviously not enjoying the idea. I trudge over to the sink for two glasses for water. "Do I have to?"
"Roxas! Come on, please? For me? You'll meet his own family!" Tifa begged me. I handed her the glass and she drank every drop like a dehydrated puppy.
"Fine, mom. I'll see you tomorrow," I say before setting a glass in the sink.
"Thank you, Roxas! Bye, honey," she replies, blowing me a kiss while I walk down the hallway. "Tell Cloud I love him too!" she shouted from behind my closed door.
Hm. My mom really does love Cloud. "You're a legacy," Cloud's voice resonates soundly, his voice superior and proud. For the first time in a long time, I am finally relieved he has paid decent attention to me. Maybe him being with Tifa was a good idea. Maybe.
I take a look outside the window that has a perfect view of across the street at Mr. Strife's house. His phantom black sports car slips next to his other gold-dipped and red-stained cars, too fancy for my taste. He climbs out of the car, walking up to the door, pushing a button on the side. A tiny blonde Cloud look-alike in framed glasses opens the door and hugs Mr. Strife. I assume it's his daughter, and surprisingly, I'm happy for her. She has the best dad in the world.
A/N: on this chapter: yes, it's another multi-part story arc. The name is a keyblade from 358/2 Days; oh, and it was so father-centric, wasn't it :D So it's been like two months...I'm so sorry readers D: A lot has happened, and I was caught up in other things, but this kept bugging me, so I wrote it. It isn't too rushed, is it? I did put 5,000+ words, and that's good, right? Good.
i wonder if anyone knows what's going to happen, since I dropped so many hints in this chapter.
During my break from writing, I sent my name to Mars, mourned the loss of Kingdom Hearts II in the Smithsonian thing, started playing Kingdom Hearts I, re:Coded, and Crisis Core, the last being a second-playthrough, and completing the first chapter of my other new Sora/Kairi story, On Crystal Sand! It still has to go through minor changes, and it should be up very soon. I have Finals soon though D:
Oh, and if you're going to add this story on favorites or just read it, I please ask that you leave a comment! I'm not looking to have a thousand reviews, but all I'm asking is for feedback; even if you just say CONTINUEPLZ it honestly doesn't matter. I'd love to hear feedback on all spectrums.
- CupcakeL e r m a n.
