"Lizzie?"
Her name a question. Just like the last time she came here, the last time he answered the door to find her standing on the other side.
She might as well be reliving last Friday's confrontation.
Well, she might be within a couple minutes. Alone in her motel room, she had felt compelled to see him. She had known with certainty that she had to convince him, somehow, that her feelings were real. But what if she was just setting herself up for more pain? She didn't have any energy left for pain. Especially not right now.
"Red." She paused, fixing her eyes on his. Maybe what she said next would chip away at his walls a little: "Raymond."
At her utterance of his first name, his eyes widened almost imperceptibly. She wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't been watching him closely for a reaction.
He remained quiet, waiting for her to speak. She had clearly come for a reason, and he felt he very likely knew what that reason was.
Her voice was firm when she began. "I know everything you said last week was said from a place of love. You're trying to protect me. I get it. But that doesn't mean you're right."
She stopped to see if he would respond. He only continued staring at her, his expression unreadable.
So she continued. "There is no one who makes me feel more protected than you. And I'm not desperate. Yes, you opening your stupid drunken mouth in the first place is what made me realize that I love you, but that does not make my feelings invalid. And you never intending to tell me does not make your feelings nonexistent." She paused to let that sink in, his expression remaining as impassive as ever. "I just… after almost losing Samar…" She trailed off, her voice breaking. "Life is so short, Raymond. It's too damn short to waste time not being as happy as possible."
As soon as she said his name for the second time, she could see his mask slipping away, his eyes a chaotic mess of emotion. By the time she finished speaking, he looked like a lost, broken man, not one shred left of his stony façade.
He had been waiting to come to her with his apology – to take back his absurdly misguided insistence that they couldn't be together – until she had had time to process the near-loss of her friend. He hadn't wanted to overwhelm her. But here she was, standing in front of him. Fighting for him, fighting for his love. And she didn't have to fight anymore – she just didn't know that yet.
Before she knew what was happening, his hands were on her, one cupping her cheek gently and one tangled in her hair, and his lips were on hers, firm, insistent.
His kiss was raw, clumsy in its urgency. It was as if he were saying with his kiss what he had been too terrified to say in words.
I'm sorry.
I never meant to hurt you.
You are everything to me.
Lizzie, Lizzie, I love you, Lizzie.
She could feel the sting of tears in her eyes as she flung her arms around his neck, one arm spread across his broad shoulders and the other hand softly grazing the short hairs on the back of his head.
She pulled away just enough to take a breath, rising up on her tiptoes a bit to lean her forehead against his.
"Red," she whispered amongst their mingled quick breaths.
His voice was tight with emotion when he spoke, murmuring against her lips. "I love you so damn much, Lizzie. My heart's worth nothing, but it's yours. It's yours."
Liz spoke up immediately to disprove his claim, shaking her head. "It's worth everything, Red. I promise."
He left a lingering kiss on her forehead before continuing. "What you said about being happy… you're right. That's what your fiery friend told me at the hospital." Liz chuckled at his accurate description of Samar, and at the knowledge that of course that's why Samar had asked to speak with Red – not for her own benefit, but for Liz's. Selfless as always.
"She very straightforwardly put things into perspective for me. She informed me in no uncertain terms that I was being a fool. That danger is inevitable for people like us. That we all need to love while we can. To be happy while we can. And Lizzie, I don't deserve any of that happiness, but you…" He trailed off, shaking his head. "You deserve all the happiness in the world." His voice broke, clearly strained with emotion. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you, sweetheart."
Liz refused to accept his heartbreaking belief that he was some kind of monster, unworthy of love. She wished she could take back all the times she'd reinforced that belief in him. All the awful things she'd said to him, all her harsh words, all the times she'd lashed out. She hadn't known him then, not really. She hadn't seen him.
Liz's words were certain, unyielding, when she replied. "You deserve it too, Red. All you've ever done is protect me. You're the most honorable man, the most incredible man, I've ever known. You do deserve happiness. After all you've been through? After all you've been forced to do? I know that this image of you, this persona that you show the world – that's not who you really are. I know the real you – the man, the human being. I see you, Raymond. And I love the man I see."
She had barely finished speaking when he caught her lips in another searing kiss, his eyes filled with unshed tears.
Within seconds, they were caught up in this new certainty of each other, all thought abandoned, their only focus the sensation of clashing lips and tongues. The devotion between them was tangible, surrounding them in a warm glow.
Locked in this seemingly infinite moment, only one word popped into Liz's head:
Happy.
TBLTBLTBLTBLTBL
Liz woke up next to the man she loved, with the knowledge that her closest friend was safely recovering in the hospital. Two days ago, she had almost lost everything, but now she felt like the luckiest woman alive.
Afternoon sun was shining into the bedroom, the blinds throwing lines of gold across the lumps of their tangled legs under the blankets. In a panic, she remembered that it was Friday, but she quickly relaxed upon the realization that she could call Cooper and take the day off. The task force had had a rough week – they were bound to be scattered. Disjointed. Plus, if Raymond Reddington would rather her be here in his bed than out chasing one of the names on his list, she didn't really need to be at the Post Office.
Red stirred beside her and she burrowed into his chest, placing a gentle kiss just above his heart. He hooked his chin on top of her head, and she could feel his voice rumbling in his throat when he spoke. "Good afternoon, sweetheart."
She chuckled, her soft exhale brushing across the fine golden hairs on his chest. "Friday afternoon, no less. I have to go call Cooper." She left another quick kiss on his chest and rolled away from him to go find her cell phone.
Red grabbed her hand before she could stand up. "There's nothing for you to do there today. I need you here."
She looked over her shoulder at him, smirking. "Don't worry, I wasn't planning on going to work. I'll be right back." She squeezed his hand and this time he let her leave the warmth of the bed. He relaxed back into the pillows, basking in the sunlight.
When Liz returned after making her phone call, she hopped onto the bed next to him and grabbed his hand in both of hers, grinning. "Can we go visit Samar? I need to thank her for smacking some sense into you."
Red chuckled. "Of course, sweetheart." He paused, a devilish smile spreading across his face, one eyebrow raised. "I'd like to thank her as well."
Liz rolled her eyes at the implication, though she couldn't help but laugh. "Okay, Red. Whatever you say."
He pulled her down for a tender kiss. "I'm kidding, of course. I do actually owe her a real thank you. For pointing out my idiocy, yes, but also for being there for you during my weeks of idiocy," he rumbled against her lips.
Liz tossed her arm across his chest, resting her head on his shoulder. "She's an incredible friend," she sighed against him. They remained still, neither of them ready to end this part of the day yet. After a few seconds, Liz tightened her embrace. "I can't believe I almost lost her, Red," she whispered.
He pressed his lips to her temple. "I know, sweetheart, I know. But she's all right. She'll be fine," he soothingly reassured her.
She nodded against him, knowing he was right. It was just hard to shake the memory of Samar's blood everywhere. It was hard to shake the nightmares, like the one she'd had the previous night and was sure to have more of in the weeks and months to come.
"Let's go see her now," Liz suggested, smiling up at Red.
Red's heart swelled. There was nothing more beautiful than his Lizzie's smile. "Yes, let's," he replied, kissing her once more before they finally got out of bed.
TBLTBLTBLTBLTBL
Liz knocked on the door to the hospital room, peeking her head in to see Samar awake, her bed angled into a sitting position. "You want some company?" Liz asked cheerfully.
Samar looked up at the sound of Liz's voice, her face brightening when she saw her friend in the doorway. "Always."
Liz opened the door wider and walked over to Samar's bedside, immediately reaching for her hand. "How are you feeling today?"
"A little better. The doctors tell me I'll be out of here in a week at the most," Samar replied.
"Shit, a week? Sorry." Liz frowned sympathetically. She hated hospitals, and she assumed Samar did too.
"It's alright. They've got the good pain meds here." Samar smirked.
Liz chuckled, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes.
Samar hadn't seen many genuine smiles from Liz lately, much less smiles that reached her eyes. "You certainly seem to be in a better mood today," she observed playfully, her face holding a questioning gaze.
Liz bit her lip, unable to stop the smile from spreading across her face.
"Ahh, the stubborn ass listened to me, did he?" Samar asked with a furtive grin.
Liz threw her head back, laughing. The sound was like music to Samar's ears.
Once she had her laughter under control, she looked back at Samar, nodding. "He listened." She was beaming uncontrollably. "Thank you. You're incredible." She shook her head, in awe. "I mean, you almost died and your first thought upon waking up was 'I have to help my friend.'"
Samar shrugged. "I couldn't sit idly by and watch the two of you so angry and hurt. We all deserve to be happy."
Liz's reply was immediate, insistent. "Including you, Samar. When the timing's right, don't forget that."
Samar responded with a grateful smile, squeezing Liz's hand. "I won't."
"Really, though. Thank you. You're the most selfless person I've ever known." With her free hand, Liz ran her fingers through Samar's curls, bringing them to rest on her shoulder.
"I would say the same about you, so it looks like we're even." Samar grinned contentedly. She wasn't a huge fan of hospitals – visitors brought a calm respite from the uneasiness.
At the sound of the door creaking open, their attention shifted.
Red.
Liz beamed at the sight of him. "Hey, you. What took so long? I thought you were just parking the car."
"I made a quick stop at the gift shop," Red replied, producing a plush cat from behind his back. He walked toward the bed, offering it to an amused, slightly surprised Samar. "Not quite as comforting as the real thing, but I think the doctors may have frowned upon me bringing my cat for a visit," he explained.
Samar laughed, taking the gift from his outstretched hand. "Well, thank you, Reddington. This is quite sweet…and, um, unexpected of you."
Liz stepped closer to him, wrapping one arm around his waist and leaning her head against him, her free hand against his chest. He instinctively brought his arm around her in return, holding her close.
"See, I tried to tell you, Samar. He's a sweet softie at heart. Concierge of Crime, my ass."
Red chuckled. "As true as that may be, don't go spreading it around. I've got a reputation to uphold."
Liz rolled her eyes, meeting Samar's entertained gaze.
Red disentangled himself from Liz and stepped forward to take Samar's hand in both of his own. "I owe you a debt of gratitude, my dear."
Samar shook her head, but he continued before she could interrupt him. "I do. Thank you. For being so bluntly honest with me, for making me see how foolishly I handled things, for pointing out that happiness is worth the risk. And thank you for being there for my Lizzie while I was busy being an idiot. Thank you for taking care of her. You're a remarkable woman."
The corners of her mouth turned up slightly, her eyes flickering with emotion at his words. "It's been my pleasure, Reddington. I want you two to be happy. It pained me to see you both hurting unnecessarily." She paused, a silent understanding passing between them – she could tell that he knew how grateful she was for him bringing her here to this new life, to her new friends. "Liz has been taking care of me, too, you know. You'd better be willing to share her," Samar added, her face glowing as she glanced over at Liz.
Red gave Samar a more genuine smile than she would ever have thought him capable of. "It's the least I can do."
She could see the sincerity – and his respect for her – in his eyes.
