Title: An unexpected visitor
Summary: A demonstration of the consequences of writing the kind of omake I do. Tangential ByaRen.
Word count: 377
Disclaimer: Don't own Bleach, not even bleach.
A/N For those of you who have been so kindly reading my omake Renji – Reflection Interludes, and for those of you who have been disturbed by some of my bunnies. You may decide if this serves me right!
I will get back to the main story soon!!
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"hu3long2, I am very disappointed with you. No, shaking with rage would better describe my current state."
An eldritch voice speaks with mind-chilling suddenness into my ear. I start, nearly spilling the glass of wine over my keyboard. I look up wildly, my heart pumping in preparation to flee. To my left, I see a flowing shape, swaying gently to an unknown breeze.
"Who are you?" I gasp, too unnerved to hide the tremor in my voice.
It ignores my question. "It shames me irrevocably to associate with a vicious apostate like you."
The scene, already surreal, begins to acquire a twisted, hysterical quality. "I beg your pardon?" I ask in disbelief.
"Do not pretend measly ignorance, you sadistic heretic!"
Incredulity has overtaken fear as my principle emotion. "Are you sure you've the right person?" I ask. "I can't imagine how those terms could apply to me!"
"You are hu3long2, aren't you?" demands the figure. "That same scaly hu3long2 who so smugly and wrongfully denuded Renji of his beautiful crimson tresses?"
Ah, the light dawns. "Yes, I did that, but do you not consider those angelic chorister curls an appropriate recompense?"
The hollow voice snorts. "You have debased my ears with that statement! There is nothing in the world more heinous than your utterly cruel and callous action. And at the hands of an amateur! Those precious locks deserve only worshipful service from the truly devout!
"But hair does grow back?" I offer in appeasement.
"Such deplorable flippancy is only to be expected of someone with your hardened sensibilities. You are fortunate that hair retains the ability to renew itself. Otherwise, the consequences upon you would have been most dire. But take this as a final warning, you heartless iconoclast. Do not you trifle again with Renji's hair and dare desecrate it. A second incident, and your pathetic, sniveling excuse will not longer serve to keep you from my wrath."
The shape begins to lose distinctiveness. "Tell me who you are!" I shout.
"Surely you must have recognized me by now, you miserable worm of a scribbler," replies the dark figure as it slowly disintegrates into tendrils of mist which curl around my wrists like fetters and disappear into my skin, "I am your Renji hair fetish."
