Chapter 9: The Family of River Song
Tick-tock goes the clock
He cradled her and he rocked her
Tick-tock goes the clock
Even for the Doctor
Amy sat in the garden and watched the golden tracks of the fairyflys as they pollinated the night flowers. She wasn't sure what their official names were. The Doctor hadn't thought to leave a field guide with the garden. She didn't mind; naming everything made it feel more special to her.
She knows River will come back. She just has to wait, and she doesn't have to wait long. River materializes in the garden and shouts "Bloody Hell!" before dematerializing. Two seconds later she's rematerializing in another part of the garden. She curses a bit more colorfully this time and tries again. After the fourth try she runs out of the garden and through the house only to come back through the same door thirty seconds later. She finally turns towards Amy frustration in every movement and demands to know what is going on.
"River, you are going to listen to me. If there is only one time in your entire life that you stop and listen it needs to be today. Rory Williams was not your father, and I am not your mother. That's what I was trying to tell you that day in the garden. The Doctor didn't bring you back to us because you never belonged with us. There's been someone shutting my memories away from me and forcing its emotions on me, and that someone is you."
River sputters. "I really have no idea in hell what you are talking about."
"I know. You've locked a lot of your own memories away."
"I'm not listening to this. You are mad. Grief has driven you out of your mind."
"It's not like you're able to go anywhere else at the moment."
"Fine. You have ten minutes."
"Your father was a Time Lord who called himself the Master, better known as Harold Saxon to the inhabitants of earth. He married a human woman named Lucy Cole."
"You said 'was,' he was a Time Lord."
"I'm afraid he is dead, River. He was killed at the end of the year that never was. He had stolen the Doctor's Tardis and used it to take over earth."
"Who killed him?"
Amy doesn't answer. River narrows her eyes and continues talking.
"This can't be true anyway. The Doctor said my time lord DNA is because I was conceived on the Tardis. I have such a strong connection to his ship, and I can't see the Tardis being pleased with the daughter of the man who stole her.
"You were conceived on the Tardis sometime during the two and a half years it was under the Master's control. The Tardis likes you because of who you are. Who your father is doesn't factor into her decision."
"How would you know?"
"I asked." Amy said simply. She paused to give River a chance to respond, but when River doesn't speak she goes back to her explanation.
"After your father died the Silence came for your mother. I don't have reliable information on what they did until the events of Demon's Run. You were never physically on Demon's run the entire time I was there; I don't think we were even in the same time period at that point."
"But you were pregnant, you gave birth, even the Silence couldn't fake that."
"I believe they could have faked a pregnancy, but they took the opportunity to do some experimenting. I was pregnant on Demon's Run. They implanted a Flesh version of you into me, and I gave birth to your replica. Your infant self was controlling the ganger by the time the Doctor arrived. The Silence wanted us to believe you were Rory's and my child and that your Time Lord characteristics were solely because of your conception in the Tardis. A fake sequence of your DNA was left for the Doctor to discover at Demon's Run."
"Why try to pass me off as your child? This doesn't make sense."
"To hurt the Doctor. This has always been about the Doctor. We're the tools they use to get to him. I don't know why they went with that particular plan, but I'm working on it."
"What about Rory? Was he just another tool?" The sneer is back in River's voice.
"Not to me, River, never to me."
"Your ten minutes are up, and I still don't believe you. I do want to hear how you explain Rory's life, my father's life."
" Remember Rory. Keep remembering, Rory is only alive in your memory. You must keep hold of him. Don't let anything distract you. Rory still lives in your mind." – The Doctor
"It started with the crack in my wall. 'The Universe pouring through my dreams,' the Doctor called it. Or it could have started with the Silence. I'm still not sure if the Silence brought the crack or the crack brought the Silence. Either way the Silence have been messing with my head since I was a little girl.
When Rory died at the age of twelve they saw the perfect opportunity to test their modifications. They wanted to see how well I could control another human body. They created a Flesh ganger and modified a few memories, and instead of Rory Williams being dead everyone, including his own parents, believed he'd had a miraculous recovery. In time they also erased the records and memories associated with his illness."
River cut in, "I don't suppose you actually have any evidence to support this . . . theory, do you?
"River, didn't it strike you as odd that Rory died as often as he did? He died and I always brought him back. He kept dying because part of my mind knew he wasn't supposed to be alive. The Silence created a body for him, and used my memories and dreams to make him real. The first time Rory died it was in a shared dream. I ended the dream. The second time was more permanent but completely unnecessary. The Doctor had already used his sonic to disable Silurian weapons, and he was reaching for his sonic to disable Restac's when Rory pushed him out of the way. If only Rory had realized what the Doctor was doing he wouldn't have died, and he wouldn't have been swallowed by the crack in time. I forgot Rory, and I forgot him quickly. I remembered the weeping angels and I remembered the soldiers who were erased on the Byzantium. You'd think that it'd be even easier for me to remember Rory, but I didn't. The Doctor said it was because Rory was a part of my personal history. I think . . . I think I'm getting off subject. He drowned. I revived him. House aged him to death. I cry and he comes back. He dies I bring him back. As long as I need him he can't stay dead."
"Are you telling me that the Rory Williams I know – knew isn't real?"
"Oh, no, River, he was real. He had feelings and he did great things, marvelous things, but he wasn't alive in the usual sense of the world. I loved him. I always will. Some people think love means not being able to live without the object of your affection. They're wrong. That's not love it's obsession. For Rory though, he literally cannot live without me. If I die he dies. If he dies all I have to do is need him and he comes back."
"So why isn't he alive now? Do you not need him anymore? What gave you the right to decide it was his time to die?"
"No, I learned that taking away the difficult choices from people isn't a kindness. I let him decide. I'm rather good at getting in people's heads."
Amy paused and River thought she was going to say something else, but with a small shake of her head Amy continued.
"His was fairly straightforward; it only took me a few seconds. When we first entered the hospital room I took his hand and asked him if he wanted to come back."
River is crying openly now. "Why didn't you tell me that? Why did you let me scream at you?"
"I couldn't tell you. I couldn't risk you knowing that I remembered what the Silence did."
But couldn't you have at least told me this time? You let me call you a slut and run off."
"I'm sorry. I should have, but I wasn't thinking. I was too focused on telling you that Rory wasn't your father to explain properly. You shouldn't blame yourself for your reaction."
When River finally speaks her voice is flat and tired despite the tears that are still streaming down her face. "Is that all?"
"Is what all?"
"You've just told me my parents aren't who I thought they were. My father is dead. The man I thought was my father has been dead but alive and is now definitely dead. I can't leave this stupid, bloody garden, and I don't want to believe you. I don't, but I know you're right. It's just . . ."
River's tears are coming so fast and hard she can no longer speak. Amy walks over and envelops River in a fierce hug. When River's sobs die down into sniffles and hiccups Amy pulls a wad of tissues out of her pocket and hands them to River.
Amy takes a deep breath. "River, I'm sorry, but there is more that I need to tell you."
