Thanks to everyone for all the fabulous reviews! Yeah, so basically, I suck at these author note thingys and I accidentally sort of spoiled someone for the next to books, so! SPOILERS ALERT! For not only AGATB but possibly for the next two books as well (though any of these will be pretty vague. I think.) So yeah, sorry about that, keeperofthedarkarts. : ( I'll try to remember to put up spoiler warnings….

I know I'm kinda slow at updates (I say it'll be up in a couple days and it's usually three times as long as that), but It will probably be a while before my next update, cause my life is absolutely crazy right now.

Oh, and I didn't write AGATB, etc, etc. So, onto chapters 17 and 18!


CHAPTER 17

NIGHTWING: Blah, blah, blah, let me prattle on about important things that don't relate to the plot.

FELICITY: Let me pretend I have a heart for a moment and fake cry over those girls who died.

NIGHTWING: God, that has to be the worst fake crying I've ever seen.

FELICITY:*SOBS HARDER*

NIGHTWING: Oh, fine. Because my eardrums are begging for mercy, I suppose I'll tell about them to shut you up.

*

BRIGID: Despite what Winglady told you, those to girls were actually total bitches.

GIRLS: O RLY?

BRIGID: Not only were they murders, but even worse, they were LESBIANS!

GEMMA: Not LESBIANS? Oh, the horror! What a plague on humanity!

FELICITY: Wait, that's the bad part? Did you not hear the part where she mentioned they totally killed people?

GEMMA: Oh, pish, posh, Fee. So what if they murdered a few people? Everyone makes mistakes from time to time, everyone does it. You know, not a big deal. Be empathetic, geez.

FELICITY: But because they were lesbians—

GEMMA: HOW DISGUSTING.

FELICITY: And you wonder why it takes until the third book for me to come out?

*

ANN: I wonder if all that magic crap Mary wrote about was true.

FELICITY: Let's go to the gypsy camp and find out.

ANN: What good will that do us?

FELICITY: Nothing what so ever. Libba just needs to progress the plot, and finally get the Gemma/Kartik sexual tension to the next level.

ANN: Ohhhh.

GEMMA: Yeah, not so sure if that's such a good idea.

FELICITY: Oh, Gemma, stop denying what you FEEL beneath your pantaloons.

GEMMA: Really? Because you seem to be doing a great job of that.

*

FELICITY: Also, Ann, in case you hadn't heard in, oh, the past few seconds, you're ugly.

ANN: Okay, was that really necessary? I mean, come on. Every chapter? Could I get a break, like, once? Just once. That's all I'm asking!

FELICITY: And Gemma, honey, you're not so hot yourself. In fact—

GEMMA: FINE. We'll go the freaking camp. Just stop insulting us, mmkay?

FELICITY: YES! Works every time!

CHAPTER 18

(YOU KNOW, THAT ONE WHERE GEMMA AND KARTIK FINALLY SUCK FACE)

BUSH: *ATTACKS GEMMA'S LEG*

FELICITY: Oh, go going, Gemma. Way to get us all killed. Why don't you just stab me in the heart a few times while you're at it?

GEMMA: Um, EXCUSE ME? Did you see that thing? It growled.

*

FELICITY: Hello, STD-ridden-gypsy-ruffians! It is I, Felicity; a meek English girl who could probably be raped by one of you in a second. Let me taunt you!

ITHAL: Oh, Felicity, you sure know how to win a man's heart.

KARTIK: Hey, someone had better not have ordered a bunch of hos and not told me—GEMMA???

*

CREPPY GYSPY BOY: I am only here to serve as a plot device so you two will get it on.

GEMMA: Woe is me, I am frightened! Like most people who are scared, my natural instincts tell me to start making out with the closest pair of lips. Running? Pssh, way below me! That's for people who actually have brains.

GEMMA AND KATIK: SNOG SNOG SNOG SNOG SNOG

*

GEMMA: I kissed an Indian…and I liked it!

*

ANN: Did she—?

FELICITY: Yup.

ANN: Victorian Third Base. Wow, any girl who would do that, even to save her own skin must be, like, a major slut or something.

FELICITY: Um, yeah, about that….

*

KARTIK: Thanks for like, totally embarrassing me.

GEMMA: Embarrassing you? Right, because getting patted on the back for scoring for some ass is just going to be so hard.

KATIK: Do I LOOK like I wanted to stick my tongue in your mouth? Cause I didn't.

GEMMA: That's funny, because only a few minutes ago, YOU DID JUST THAT.

KARTIK: Oh, shut up, now you're just imagining things.

GEMMA: Oh, so I guess I'm imaging your boner pressed against my leg?

KARTIK: Have you not been paying attention for the past 17 chapters? This whole book is based around you imaging things.

GEMMA: Whatever.

KARTIK: And because I'm acting like that much of an asshole right now, I think I'll order you around a bit more too.

GEMMA: I HATE YOU.

*

LIBBA BRAY: Sexual tension. Isn't it great?


Thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW!