It was almost 1 am when I snuck down to the kitchen. Ashley and I had passed out after hours of small-talk, I loved going to sleep to the sound of her voice. But now I was insanely thirsty so after carefully extracting myself from Ashley's arms I made my way to the kitchen. A saw that the kitchen light was on, which was odd because I thought my family was alseep. I crept closer and heard my parents in the midst of a conversation about Ashley and I.
"Paula I don't see why you're so uptight about this, they're best friends" my dad said, sounding a little annoyed.
"Arthur, you didn't see them when they got back from snowboarding, they were acting very inappropriately. If they do that in public people might think..." my mother said
"People might think what? That they're gay?"
"Yes! God Arthur, we don't want our daughter associated with or confused with one of them!"
"Oh for god's sake Paula! There's nothing wrong with being gay! If you're with someone you love and you're happy it shouldn't matter who they are"
"Arthur, please don't talk like that!"
"Like what?!"
"You're making it sound like our daughter is gay, she isn't! I was merely saying she might get associated with being gay"
"I wouldn't care if she was! Lighten up Paula, why are you acting like this?"
"Well I'm just worried, Aiden called back after he talked to Spencer and he asked me if I was aware of the relationship Spencer was in. She said it was pretty serious! Why wouldn't she tell us?"
"Well maybe she was just saying that to get Aiden off her back, and even if she has met someone, she'll tell us when she's ready..now good night!"
I rushed as quietly as I could back up the stairs and to my room, closing the door. That jackass actually told my mother what I said! I mean...my mother, who does that? I was so beyond angry with that boy. I could pretty much guarentee that my mother would be squeezing as many details as possible from me about this secret love. The only good thing about all this was that I learned that my dad didn't care if I was gay. I was hoping his opinion wouldn't change when he found out it was true though. I sighed and climbed back into bed with Ashley, I could wait until tomorrow to get a drink.
Breakfast was painful that morning. My mother had been dropping hints about me having a boyfriend the whole time, which annoyed me and understandably upset Ashley. It was then that I decided I was going to tell them about us. My parents were both coming home for lunch before going out to work and I was going to tell them then and there. I was sick of having to pull away from Ashley when one of them was coming into the room. My hand twitched painfully when I couldn't hold it because we were in a crowded, public place where someone I went to school with might be. Ashley wanted to be there when I told them, for moral support, although I really didn't want her there in case my parents said anything hurtful. But on the other hand, it was nice to have someone to lean on.
My parents were now sitting on the couch, my mother looking nervous and my father looking, well almost proud, I had a feeling he knew what I was going to say. I stood accross from them, Ashley beside me, although a few inches further away from my parents than I was.
"Spencer, what's going on, you're scaring me" my mother said, her voice cracking a little.
"It's nothing bad mom, I'm not dying or anything, don't worry" I said, trying to smile.
"Come on hunny, just say it" my dad said encouragingly.
My heart was pounding faster and faster. It wasn't pleasant like the quickened heart rate I got when I was with Ashley...this feeling was much worse. I felt Ashley move forward so she was standing beside me and her hands held my forearm gently.
"Come on Spence, just let it out" she said softly.
"M-mom...dad...I'm...." I stuttered.
"OH MY GOD YOU'RE PREGNANT!" my mother screamed.
My father, Ashley and I all jumped at the outburst. I shook my head furiously as Ashley and I chanted loud 'NO''s to her. That calmed her down a bit and she took a breath before motioning for me to continue.
"Ashley and I..love each other" I said.
My mom chuckled, eliciting strange looks from all three of us.
"Well you're best friends silly, it's not surprising that you guys love each other like sisters" she said with a smile.
"No mom, that's not it" I countered.
My mom raised her eyebrow, trying to figure out what I was saying
"I-" I started.
"We" Ashley corrected with a nudge.
I glanced at her, I wasn't aware she wanted to adress her sexuality with my parents right now. I mean, yes once I told them I was gay they would assume she was too. But here was Ashley, flat out saying she was gay, not leaving it to be a silent assumption. It meant so much to me that we were really doing this together.
"I mean we....are gay...and in love" I said firmly
I felt Ashley's hands tighten on my arm as we waited for the response.
"Awe Spencer!" my dad said, standing up.
He embraced me tightly, "I'm so proud of you" he whispered.
He looked at Ashley and brought her into the embrace as well, "I'm so proud of both of you" he said.
The three of us separated and looked at my mother, who had not said anything up until this point. All the colour was drained from her face and she looked like the was frozen solid. Suddenly, the paleness turned to pink and then a shade of red, not because she was embarassed...but because she was furious.
"NO NO NO NO NO!" she screamed, standing up.
My dad stepped away from us and braced my mom with his arms, stopping her from moving any closer.
"ARTHUR! DID YOU HEAR WHAT SHE JUST SAID! WE CAN'T ALLOW THIS!" she screamed, even louder than before.
"What are you saying Paula? That we shouldn't allow our daughter to be who she is? To deny her what, or in this case who, makes her happy?" he said, trying to reason with her.
"Not when what makes her happy is a sin!" she said, pleading with my dad.
Ashley's hand moved from my arm and to my hand, squeezing it tightly. Neither of us knew what to say, and we both feared anything we said might set my mother off even more.
Ashley and I sat in silence in my room. We were both sitting on the floor, leaning against the side of my bed holding each other's hand tightly. The sound of my parents' argument was drifting upstairs, no matter no much we tried to block it out. It had been going on for almost an hour now, neither one was willing to budge on their opinion. It was frustrating how badly I wanted my mother to see things from my point of view.
"Hey Spence...I'm sorry" Ashley said so softly that I barely heard her.
I turned my head towards her and frowned, this was in no way her fault. I should be the one apologizing for my mother's behaviour. Ashley seemed to read my thoughts. Her frown shifted slightly, she didn't want to see me upset, but my mother had made it a little too late for that. A tear rolled down my cheek, I hadn't even been aware that I was starting to cry, I was so worried about Ashley being upset that I wasn't paying attention to myself.
"Awe baby don't cry" she cooed.
She took her hand from mine and wrapped it around my waist, pulling me to her. We adjusted ourselves so Ashley was still leaning against the side of the bed and I was sitting between her legs, my back leaning against one of her thighs and my legs overtop of her other one. She then wraped her arms around me and pulled by head to her chest, murming to me softly.
"It'll be okay, shhh" she said as my tears continued to fall.
"Why can't she just understand" I said through sobs.
Ashley was silent, she didn't know the answer to that. Some people just couldn't see things from another person's point of view. It made life so difficult when you encountered a person like that and your opinions didn't match, sometimes it resulted in situations like the one we were in now. Ashley began singing softly. It was one of the few things that calmed me down. When I had broken down into tears because school was overwhelming me, she sang to me. When I was upset and confused about anything, Ashley would sing, and my problems would vanish.
When your tears are spent on your last pretense,
and your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense,
When it's in your spine like you've walked for miles,
and the only thing you want is just to be still for a while,
oh-ay-oh-ay-oh-oo
oh-ay-oh-ay-oh-oo
And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up,
and I will hide you when it gets too much,
I'll be right beside you,
I'll be right beside you,
When you're overwhelmed and you've lost your breath,
and the space between the things you know is blurry nonetheless, When you try to speak but you make no sound,
and the words you want are out of reach but they've never been so loud,
And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up,
and I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you,
I'll be right beside you,
I will stay. Nobody will break you,
Trust me, trust me, don't pull away,
Just trust me, trust me.
Cuz I'm just trying to keep it together,
Cuz I could do worse and you could do better,
When your tears are spent on your last pretense,
and your tired eyes refuse to close and sleep in your defense,
And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up,
and I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you,
Nobody will break you.
And if your heart wears thin I will hold you up,
and I will hide you when it gets too much
I'll be right beside you,
Nobody will break you.
I burried my face into her shoulder as she sung the last note. My sobs had stopped and the last of my tears fell from my eyes. Ashley pulled me tighter and rested her chin on my head as we allowed the shouts from downstairs to be drowned out while we embraced this moment.
We had fallen asleep like that, holding each other as tight as we could. I opened my eyes a few hours later, not knowing what time it was, but not wanting to move. From the light being cast into my room I could tell that the sun was just begining to rise, god I was never up this early, not since I stopped going to horse shows. I smile played at my lips. I had always loved riding, it cheered me up. I had a horse too, but when I moved to LA my coach agreed to keep it at her barn for free if I let her use it as a lesson horse. That was nice too because then someone would be able to work her for me, and she wouldn't be out in a field getting a big grass belly. My smile grew, that would be the perfect thing to do with Ashley, showing her a place that I held so close to my heart. I slid from her arms and opened by door just as my dad was reaching to knock on it.
"Hey Spence" my dad said, pulling me into a hug.
"Hi dad" I said, hugging him tightly.
"I'm so sorry hunny" he said as he pulled away, looking me in the eyes.
I shrugged. It wasn't his fault at all, he was the one fighting for Ashley and I.
"Dad, do you think Ashley and I can go out for the day?" I asked.
"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. I didn't make any progess with your mother last night and I was thinking when she gets home it'll be round too" he said tiredly.
"You're the best dad" I said as I gave him another hug.
He smiled and kissed my head softly before heading out for work. I peered into my room, Ashley was still sleeping. I decided to get everything ready without waking her, she needed some rest. I loaded up my car with my saddle, bridles, brushes, blankets, treats and other horse related stuff. Next, I crept around my room and got on some jeans and a few layers to keep warm. Once I was ready I saw accross from Ashley, waiting for her to wake up. At first her arms shifted and she frowned.
"Spencer?" she mumbled, still half asleep.
"Right here baby" I smiled, she wasn't even completely concious and she realized I wasn't with her, that's just plain adorable.
"Why are you already dressed?" she asked, rubbing her eyes and stretching.
"You're going to meet the girl I love almost as much as you" I said happily.
Ashley gave me a weird look, but I didn't say anything. This was going to be a surprise...especially since Ashley was afraid of horses, but I'd cure her. I tossed her a pair of jeans and she too kmy lead in dressing in layers. We grabbed a quick breakfast and were in the car before 9am...quite the accomlishment. I was about to put the car in drive until Ashley stopped me with her hand.
"Wha-" my question was cut off by a passionate kiss.
"Sorry, it's been too long" she said with a smirk.
I smirked back and layed another peck on her lips before putting the car in drive and heading out.
"So since you won't tell me where we're going, can you tell me about this girl?" she asked.
I shook my head, a smirk plastered to my face. I smiled as I turned onto the gravel path. It was lined with trees, a small house was on the property across from a barn and an attatched areana. There was a large fenced in field at the front, which was currently empty and an even larger one and a few smaller ones at the back.
"My competition is a farm girl?" she asked.
"Well she's got the upper hand, as long as she's within arms' reach of a horse you won't touch her" I said with a smirk.
"Hey! It's not my fault! Horses are terrifying!" Ashley said defensively.
I rolled my eyes as I parked the car and got out, I'd leave the stuff in the trunk for now, no need to freak out Ashley prematurely. Ashley stopped infront of the door that led into the stable.
"Chill Ash, the horses are in stalls, they can't eat you alive from there" I said laughing.
Ashley huffed and followed me into the stable. She got a little closer to me as we walked past the occupied stalls, a smirked once again. The stable was fairly small, only stalls for 20 horses, a wash stall, tack room, small feed room and an office, with the upstairs being one big hayloft. I inhaled deeply, I loved the smell of horses, it was so soothing to me, Ashley...wasn't a fan. I suddenly stopped us and turned.
"Ashley, meet Bacardi" I said proudly
