Sorry it took so long this time, guys. Hope you enjoy. I feel like the story is kind of slow and repetitive at this point, but it will pick up. :)
Chapter 8: Her eyes will say "go"
January 1981
It had been almost two months, but Janet still found herself going over and over that moment when Jack had tried to kiss her, wondering what had possessed him to do that, wondering what he was feeling…and wondering why she had stopped it. She had come to the conclusion a long time ago that Jack didn't feel the same way about her that she felt about him, and it took all she could to force her feelings away…and then this. The shock of it all had caused her to push away, and now the chance was lost once more with the entrance of a new roommate into the picture.
Cindy was just as sweet, loveable, and naïve as Chrissy was and Janet found herself taking a liking to her almost immediately. At first she had wondered if Cindy had noticed the slight tension between her and Jack, but she concluded that she hadn't. How could she, when there was no evidence of it? The two were easily able to act as though the incident had never even occurred.
Janet noticed that Jack certainly didn't have any trouble forgetting the incident. Different women seemed to waltz in and out of his life…and then there was Cheryl, whom he seemed a bit more serious about. It frustrated Janet. It wasn't that she had expected any more out of Jack, it wasn't that she had ever really expected him to show particular attention to her; it was that, when he did, if only for a moment, it was so easy for him to ignore it as if it were a dream-a dream that is so wonderful in the moment, but upon waking seems to slip away from memory.
So if he was going to act as though there was nothing there, so was she. Pretending was something that she had found she had a great talent for. Putting on a happy face was second nature.
And so, it was the perfect opportunity to spite Jack by agreeing to go out with his girlfriend's father, Andrew. She felt that he was a sweet enough man that it would be no trouble at all having a good time with him.
Jack, on the other hand, stood there content with the monster he had created in Andrew; he was proud of the hip, modern guy he had turned his girlfriend's father into. And then the next moment, Janet became Andrew's target. As he began to sweet-talk Janet, Jack began to panic. She couldn't go out on a date with a man Jack had trained to be like himself…he'd destroy the poor girl! If she were going to go out with any fool like Jack, it was going to be Jack. And it wasn't going to be him, he knew. It wasn't going to be him because it couldn't be him.
He winced as he heard Andrew suggest to Janet that they go to "The Blue Grotto," the restaurant Jack had told him he always took women whom he wanted to get in the mood. He saw Janet's bright smile and her sparkling eyes as she walked out the door with Andrew, and his date with Cheryl instantly became unimportant. Janet was all he could think about right now. He found any excuse he could to go after her and he did, reluctantly bringing Cheryl along.
But naturally Jack's paranoia only caused more trouble, and him interfering in Janet and Andrew's date not only angered Janet, but it angered Cheryl as well. He sulked as he was left alone in The Blue Grotto to ponder what had just happened. Cheryl had dumped him, Janet was angry at him, and he didn't know whether or not he simply didn't trust Andrew with Janet, or if he was jealous.
But why should he be jealous? Janet was his friend and she had a right to do whatever she wanted to. Why did the incident cause a rush of anxiety, a compelling urge to get Andrew away from Janet?
He got up only half thinking, nearly tripping on the mess of chairs surrounding him, and began to walk back to the apartment to apologize to Janet. Not necessarily for what had just happened, but for what had almost happened weeks ago. He was convinced that when he had tried to kiss Janet, he wasn't in his right senses.
The bustle of the city around him made it hard for Jack to think clearly. Passing a young couple that was clearly in love, he wondered why such things weren't so easy for him. And then he wondered why such a thought was haunting him when he was worrying about Janet. It didn't make sense to him. He still wouldn't let it. That moment that night was merely a heat of the moment situation. It didn't stem from love or passion, he tried to convince himself, but from a sporadic moment of lust. It had to be because it was a much simpler explanation. It would be a quicker resolution. And he wouldn't have to worry about feeling pain nor causing it.
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Jack stood in the living room embarrassed as water trickled down his shirt. Janet, upset once again, never held back an opportunity to splash something at Jack when she was angry at him. And she was livid. So, naturally, Janet knocked the bowl of soapy water Jack had in his hands all over him.
How could he? First, completely putting that one night behind him, and then proceeding to give Andrew horrible ideas on how to treat women?
Glaring back at him, she tried to convey her feelings with her eyes and he sighed, somewhat understanding her.
"I'll go get some more soapy water to get that stain out, Mr. Gaynor," Cindy said amidst the awkward silence, and left the room.
Andrew nodded and then stood there, fidgeting uncomfortably as his eyes focused on the other two left in the room. "I'm really, very sorry about everything. This is entirely my fault."
"What? No, Andrew, this is not your fault," Janet said walking over to him and smiling to ease his apparent discomfort with the situation. "It's one hundred perfect Jack's fault," she said, glancing back at Jack with another glare, and then turned back to Andrew.
Jack sighed and nodded with a forlorn expression on his face, acknowledging his own stupidity. "I, um, just gonna go change," he said and began to head to his room. Janet looked at him, almost feeling a bit bad as he walked toward his room like a sad puppy.
"Jack, wait," Andrew said, causing Jack to pause in front of him and Janet. Andrew turned toward Janet once more. "No, Janet, this is my fault. It's my fault because I should have seen it."
Janet looked at Andrew quizzically and replied, "You should have seen what?"
Andrew smiled at her and then looked over her shoulder to Jack. Without saying another word, he walked back into Janet's room to retrieve his wine stained pants, which he then took into the kitchen to clean with Cindy. All the while, Jack and Janet stood there in silence trying to understand what Andrew was trying to imply.
But Janet knew. And a part of Jack knew, too. The part of him that wasn't afraid to deny it. The part of him that wasn't afraid, period. That part knew why he ran after Janet when she was on her date with Andrew. It knew why he blew off his date with Cheryl for Janet. It knew why he tried to kiss her that night.
Janet looked up at Jack with an apologetic expression, although her anger was still there. As nicely as she could she said, "I still think you're an idiot."
Her honesty put a smile on Jack's face. "Well, at least you're being honest."
Still looking up at him and shaking her head, she went on, "I just don't understand you sometimes, Jack."
"I don't understand myself half the time."
"I'm going to go help Andrew and Cindy," she said, unsatisfied with his reply.
"Janet, wait."
She stopped immediately at his words and turned around, hopeful that he would say more. Hopeful that he would say what she wanted to hear.
"I know what's been on your mind because it's been on my mind, too," he said, staring as deeply into her eyes as he could for the distance between them: she near the end of the sofa, and he still near his bedroom door. Janet said nothing and he went on, "I wasn't thinking, Janet. I'm sorry, I never planned that to happen that night and I'm glad you stopped me. It was wrong of me to do. I know we agreed a long time ago to never"-
"It's fine," Janet said nonchalantly, although she was really trying her best to hold back tears. There he was taking it all back. She had expected it and yet she was still taken by surprise. She knew that she was the one that had stopped the kiss from happening, but she didn't think that Jack would completely regret it; he had initiated it after all. But he had. He had regretted it, and she couldn't do this anymore. She subconsciously touched her heart and nodded. "It's fine," she said again, half talking to herself as well, half talking to her heart. It would be okay, she was thinking. It wouldn't hurt so much once she pushed Jack Tripper out of her heart.
"I just didn't want that lingering around us. I saw that it upset you…I just didn't know what to say." He stared into her eyes again, seeing pain but not realizing the extent of it. "Sorry." And he went into his room.
He didn't mean it, but he wasn't lying when he said he wasn't thinking that night. When he had tried to kiss Janet his mind wasn't in control; his heart was. But he didn't mean it when he said he was sorry. He never regretted any moment with her.
Jack had ignored the entire situation because he was still afraid. Love was terrifying enough…but falling for a friend, a best friend, was far beyond that.
"Are young people always this foolish?" Andrew half jokingly asked Cindy in the kitchen.
She smiled, but with a concerned expression on her face as she continued to worry about her two roommates. She hadn't lived there long, but she knew. Chrissy hadn't bothered to tell her about the strange relationship between Jack and Janet because, by the time she had moved out, she had begun to doubt it again. So Cindy was left to figure it out on her own. She played the fool along with them, but she was no fool. "Not always," she replied to Andrew.
"So you see it, too?" He asked.
"Yeah. And I know in their hearts, so do they."
