But I'm Not a Father
(In light of Father's Day, here is a piece accordingly…)
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18 ABY
Jaina Solo sat back and surveyed her handiwork. She was far from a professional artist at her nine years, but she felt that her hard work had been well worth it. She held the large piece of flimsi up, and out, making sure it looked okay.
She pursed her lips, wondering if her uncle would like the home-made card. She studied the holo of the bantha she'd used as a reference, and then looked back to her card. Satisfied, Jaina set the flimsi back down and wrote a note to go with the picture.
Jaina finally folded the flimsi in a fancy way she had learned in school, and pocketed it. She emerged from her room to see Han happily displaying his Father's Day cards and gifts from his children on a shelf near the door. Her little brother Anakin was playing with toy ships near the hallway entrance where she stopped.
"Daddy?" Jaina asked quietly.
Han turned to her. "Yeah, Sweetie?"
Jaina bit her bottom lip. "Can I go outside?"
Han frowned. "Outside where?"
"Um, well, I wanted to go see someone." Jaina didn't know why she was being secretive, but since she was already committed to this line of thought, she decided to trudge ahead.
"Who do you want to see?" Han narrowed his eyes, no doubt seeing Jaina's nervous state.
When Jaina simply shifted, Han started forward. Only when he got closer did he notice a piece of flimsi sticking out of her coat pocket. But before he reached his daughter, Anakin darted forward from his position on the floor and snatched the flimsi from her pocket.
"What's this?" Anakin asked loudly, starting to open what looked to Han like a card.
"Hey!" Jaina shouted angrily. "Give it back!"
But Anakin was determined to look at the card, and he scurried away from his sister anytime she got too close. He finally got the card open and stopped dead, then began to laugh.
"Ha ha! What is that supposed to be?" Anakin chortled.
Jaina's face flushed red, and she tried to snatch the card again, but once more her brother yanked it out of reach. Jaina finally jumped on him and grabbed the edge of the card, and Anakin released it.
"It's a bantha, Anakin!" Jaina grumbled.
"It doesn't look like a bantha!" Anakin informed her, oblivious to her pained expression.
"Anakin, enough!" Han finally ordered.
His youngest child shrugged, and went back to his toys. Jaina stayed where she was, holding the flimsi-card open. Tears were shining, unshed, in her brown eyes.
Han finally reached her, and gently took the card from her. He looked at her coloring of a bantha, and then quickly read the note. A smile lit his face, and he realized all over again why he loved his little girl so much.
"I think Uncle Luke will love this, Jaina." He said, handing her the card. "He gets real lonely sometimes. I am sure this will make his day!"
She was giving a mighty effort, Han could see, not to cry.
How like her mother she is! Han thought.
"But Anakin's right, Dad. It's a bad drawing!" Jaina was unable to rein in her hurt any longer, and silent tears slipped down her flushed cheeks.
Han shook his head, and pointed a finger at his own chest. "Hey, it's a whole lot better that I could have done. Uncle Luke will love it, I promise."
Jaina gave him a hopeful smile, and Han nodded encouragingly.
"In fact, why don't we go find him right now?" Han added. "Goldenrod can look after Anakin and Jacen."
Jaina's eyes lit up, and soon they were out the door. Han took her first to Luke's Coruscant apartment, but the Jedi was not home. Artoo-Detoo finally answered the door, and informed them that Luke had gone to do maintenance on his X-wing.
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Luke Skywalker bit back a curse as he singed his hand on a piece of bare wire just under the cover-plate on the X-wing's lower starboard engine. It had given him trouble upon reentry for some reason, and after he'd touched down he realized he needed to give it a chance to cool before he attempted repairs.
And so he'd taken Artoo home and grabbed a bite to eat, before returning to tinker with his ship. He had run a systems check, and used a diagnostics droid to determine that his coolant line to that engine had a leak.
Luke sighed as he shook his hand as if that would somehow erase the stinging sensation. Being jolted by a live wire was by no means fun.
Shaking his head, Luke poked his hands back into the X-wing, and finally got the tube off. Grabbing a new length of tubing, Luke secured it into place, and then re-opened the valve to allow the coolant to flow once more.
Luke watched intently for several long moments to see if it would still leak. Satisfied, Luke closed the hatch, and began to screw the bolts back into place.
As he worked, Luke's attention was drawn by another one-man ship arriving. A mother and her two children waited anxiously for the occupant. Luke smiled softly at the bouncing excitement of the children as a man opened his cockpit and scrambled down the ladder.
As soon as he dropped to the ground and opened his arms, both kids raced to him, throwing their arms about him. Laughter bubbled up from the happy reunion, and Luke could hear it from his position on the other side of the hangarbay.
A pang of regret touched Luke's heart as he noticed the children showing their father homemade trinkets and such.
Would he ever find a woman who could put up with his crazy life-style? And if that day ever came for Luke, would they have a family?
Luke wondered not for the first time what it would be like to be Han, and come home after a long day to the delighted squeals of his children, and to the loving embrace of a wonderful wife.
Tears pricked Luke eyes, and he returned his attention to the bolt to find that it was already secure, and that he was continuing to slowly tighten it.
Grimacing, Luke moved on to the other bolts, trying not to think about those things.
He was just getting the last bolt secured when the family finally left, leaving Luke in relative silence. Luke sighed, and sat on the ground, leaning back against the rear starboard landing strut.
He closed his eyes, and worked on steadying his erratic thoughts. Giving up after some time, Luke released another sigh and stood up. He wiped off his hands, put the tools away, and moved to leave the hangar.
He stopped at a sink by the door to wash his hands properly, and was so caught up in his thoughts that he failed to notice the little form sneaking up behind him.
"Hi Uncle Luke!"
Luke spun, startled, and was about to reach for his lightsaber when he realized who it was.
Berating himself for his inattentiveness, Luke forced his mind to focus.
"Jaina, it's good to see you!" he said happily.
Jaina smiled warmly at him, and hustled forward. Luke bent down to scoop her into his embrace, burying his face in her soft brown hair. Jaina was probably as close to a daughter as Luke was ever likely to have. And he loved his niece like she was his own child.
Luke cherished every moment he got to spend with his niece, and he only wished he was able to see both her and her brothers more often.
Jaina pulled back, taking his hand. "Can I walk you home, Uncle Luke?"
Luke looked around, only now realizing that neither Han nor Leia were in sight. "Did you come here alone?"
Jaina shook her head. "No, Daddy dropped me off. He said I could walk with you, if you don't mind."
Luke smiled again, squeezing her hand. "I'd love to walk with you."
Jaina swung their hands happily as they strode out of the bay. Luke spotted Han in the distance and nodded to his brother-in-law. Han offered a lopsided grin and a jaunty wave, and took his speeder back to the Solo suite.
Luke focused on Jaina. "So, what have you been up to lately?"
Jaina looked up at him. "I've been learning how to work on the Falcon. Daddy and Chewie let me help with the repairs."
Luke chuckled. "Well, that will come in handy, I'm sure."
Jaina giggled with him. "I know! Dad's ship is always breaking somewhere!"
They walked some more, and Luke's mind drifted momentarily. Jaina spotted a park and tugged him toward a bench.
"Can we sit for a bit, Uncle Luke?" she inquired.
"Sure."
Luke sat with her, and she snuggled up beside him. Luke kissed her head, hugging her with one arm.
Jaina watched the children who played on the toys, lost in their world of imagination, and caring little for the troubles of the galaxy only miles above their heads. Luke thought back to his own childhood, thinking of how he'd not had the most terrible lot in life.
"Would you like to go play for a bit?" Luke nodded toward the toys. "We are in no hurry."
But Jaina shook her head. "I'm okay."
She shifted and pulled something from a pocket, before handing it to him.
Luke frowned. "What's this?"
Jaina handed it to him almost nervously.
"It's for you." she said softly. "It is Father's Day, after all."
Luke lifted an eyebrow: he had not realized it was that holiday today. That explained all the gifts given to that man in the hangar.
Luke adopted a baffled expression. "But… I'm not a Father."
Jaina's solemn expression belied the twinkle in her eyes. "Uncle Luke, you are as much a father to me as Han Solo is. You are always there for me when I need you."
Her level of maturity at such a young age caused a swell of pride in Luke, and gently he accepted the card which Jaina still held out to him. She sat up, and watched with baited breath for his reaction.
Luke opened the folded flimsi and before he even read the words, a smile spread across his face.
"Where did you learn to draw a bantha so well?" He asked good-naturedly.
At this Jaina's face spilt into a relieved grin. Luke returned his attention to the card, and read her handwritten note.
Uncle Luke,
I know you aren't a daddy, and I hope one day you can find a woman like Dad has. You are my favorite uncle, and I love you. Thank you for being so wonderful. I always love it when I get to see you. I want to be a Jedi and an X-wing pilot just like you someday! I can't wait to come to your academy, Uncle Luke!
I love you so much!
Love Jaina.
Luke tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat, aware that at some point he'd started weeping. He glanced up from the card, holding it to his chest, as if he could somehow transfer the sweet words to his heart.
When he looked at Jaina, she was frowning worriedly. "You're not sad are you?"
Luke swiped at his face halfheartedly, and shook his head, offering a watery smile. "No, Sweetheart. I'm very happy. I've never received a gift for Father's Day… thank you."
Jaina smiled, and Luke drew her into a loving hug, kissing her forehead.
Maybe he did not have a family of his own, and he might never settle down. But there was no doubt in his mind that the family he did have through his sister and brother was all he could've asked for.
And he loved them with all his heart.
