Sunlight
The terrible thing about sunlight is it shows the dirt.
―Brigid Berlin
Chapter Eight
Yolei had told him yesterday that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It was just the sort of smart-ass thing she would say.
Davis drummed his fingers against his kitchen counter as he listened to the phone ring for the third time.
He had replied to Yolei that according to her definition he was not insane. After three weeks passed he had come to expect the voicemail.
Just as he was about to hang up, something clicked on the other line. He was pretty sure his heart stopped beating.
"Kari?"
"Davis, you really need to stop calling my sister," Tai said.
Disappointment and shame mixed together, causing whatever words Davis had rehearsed in his mind to disappear.
"I know how you feel about her, but this is getting a little stalker-ish."
Davis quickly found his voice. "I'm not stalking her. I'm just calling her."
"Every day?"
"Tai, I don't know what Kari told you, but we… I would never-"
"Don't!" Tai interrupted. He sounded put off, but not angry. "After thinking it through I realized I really really don't want to know what happened between you two."
"I would never do anything she didn't want me to," Davis blurted anyway.
"Too much information!" Tai shouted, though his voice suddenly sounded distant. Davis could almost picture him holding the phone away from his ear as if it were something dirty. "And thanks for the reassurance," he said, sounding closer again, "but Kari told me that much. Plus, I know you. You're a better guy than that."
"But you hit me…"
"Yup. I hope you aren't expecting an apology."
"Fair enough," Davis said, suddenly feeling very awkward. He let a moment pass before speaking up again. "Tai, why won't she talk to me?"
Tai sighed. It was the type of sigh that came before something you really didn't want to say. "She's been talking to TK."
There was a long silence before Davis finally said, "Oh." He felt anguish and anger and relief all at once.
"Just give her some time. She just needs some space."
"But not from TK."
"Davis…" Davis could hear Tai moving and then a click of a door as if he had gone into another room. "I don't know what's going on in Kari's head, but she's not ready to talk to you. You need to respect that."
"She hates me."
"I don't think Kari is capable of hating anyone."
"She won't even answer my texts."
"Time, Davis."
"It's been a month!"
"And you've called her every day, multiple times a day."
"I love her."
Tai sighed heavily. "Listen, I know how you feel. It sucks. It's one of the worst feelings in the world, but it gets better."
Davis sunk onto a barstool and leaned over his countertop. He could still see Kari there, could still feel her presence and the gentle press of her lips. "How?"
"You have to let her go."
Davis closed his eyes and, although Tai would kill him if he knew, he brought back the memory of Kari's flushed face and her soft hands and her thighs wrapped around him. He opened his eyes to an empty kitchen. He had to swallow a lump in his throat.
"Can you tell her something for me?"
"Depends on what you want to say."
"Just tell her... tell her I'm sorry," he swallowed, knowing he had so much more he wanted to say, but couldn't, "...that I messed things up. And I miss her."
"I can do that."
"Thanks, Tai. And I'm sorry if my face bruised your knuckles."
Tai laughed. "Yeah right!" Then his voice became serious again. "You know if you ever need anything (other than talking about what happened between you and my sister) you've got my number."
Davis didn't fail to notice the emphasis. "Yeah. I think Ken and I are gonna catch the World Cup at his place next weekend if you want to boo both teams with us. The digimon are planning to make some kind of crazy cuisine without our help. Agumon's welcome to join the chaos."
Tai laughed again. "Tempting… except I'd rather not get mauled by Yolei if we wake up the baby with our heckling."
"She's taking Aiko to her sister's place."
"How did Ken get out of that one?"
"Promises that neither of us want to know about, my friend."
"They have a weird relationship."
Davis chuckled. "Did you expect anything different?"
"Nope." There was a pause. "Hey, Davis, I gotta go. Someone's on the other line."
"Sure. Later."
There was a click and Davis slowly pulled the phone away from his ear, setting it on the countertop. He wondered if it was TK calling… if he and Kari would get back together. Then when Davis found that idea too painful he began browsing through texts on his phone. He dragged his finger across the screen until he came to Kari's name. He read over his messages, hating how desperate he sounded and hating even more that he couldn't find a blurb from her side even after scrolling for a five minutes.
After cursing to himself, he noticed he still had yet to read a message from Mimi she had sent sometime during the night. He opened their conversation and chuckled a bit at the stupid emoticons they had been sending back and forth before reading her message.
I just went to this awesome ramen shop in Manhattan. The owner is quite the character. Reminded me of you. ;) I told him all about your crazy self. He said if you ever want to swing by he is looking for an apprentice. Could be a great opportunity if you ever thought about relocating!
Davis read the message again, and then re-read it.
"Davith! I'm hungry! We got anything to eat?" Veemon called from his bedroom. The theme song from Super Mario was playing in the background. Veemon loved the classics.
"There's some leftover teriyaki from last night."
Veemon quickly appeared and dug out the container from the back of the fridge. Then he poured the entire remains down his throat in one gulp.
"Thanks for leaving me some," Davis said.
"It's a compliment! Your cooking is too good to be shared!"
Davis rolled his eyes as Veemon darted back to his Nintendo game. After a few minutes of staring at his empty kitchen, Davis looked down at his phone again.
He answered Mimi's text.
One Year Later
He didn't know what to do. To be honest, he was terrified. Not only of his newfound responsibilities, but of what would happen when someone answered the door. He hadn't called to tell them he was coming.
If only he could stop the piercing wail in his ears. Davis bounced up and down on the balls of his feet in a rocking motion. He began to wonder if no one was home. A gust of winter air blew against him and he instinctively held his arms close to his chest, trying to shield his cargo. He felt like a pansy, but he couldn't help the tears that began to fill the corners of his eyes.
The door finally swung open.
"This is not a good time!"
Yolei was holding a crying toddler by the hand. The little girl's indigo hair was disheveled and there was a tiny pink pururumon by her feet. She looked like she had just woken up. It took a second for Yolei's anger to melt into recognition and then shock.
"Davis, you're home!" She was staring at the noisy bundle in his arms. "And you stole a baby…"
For some reason, her words triggered the tears that were sitting in the corner of his eyes. A few slipped from his lids as he looked down at the tiny little face in his arms covered in its own tears.
"I don't know what to do," he choked out finally.
The toddler had stopped crying and was peering at the wailing infant.
"Aiko, can you go get mommy a paci?"
With a final curious glance at the bundled baby, Aiko took off into the apartment as if she was on the most important mission in the world. The pururumon followed.
Yolei slipped her arms under Davis's and gently stole the baby away from him. "Shhhhh, it's ok, sweetie. Auntie Yolei is gonna straighten your daddy up." She smiled softly at Davis. "He looks just like you. Now get in here before you catch cold. You have some explaining to do."
Davis wiped away his tears with the back of his hand and followed his friend inside. Despite being completely overwhelmed, he felt at home for the first time in a very long time.
...
The baby had fallen asleep in Yolei's arms almost as soon as she put the pacifier in his mouth. She was sitting across from Davis in a glider, rocking slowly back and forth.
Aiko was sitting on Davis's lap, staring up at him with fascination as she fiddled with a caterpillar plushy that looked an awful lot like Wormmon. Her thumb was in her mouth. The pink pururumon was sleeping on the couch beside them. Davis briefly wondered what it was like when Aiko met her partner.
"We've missed you," Yolei said to Davis. Her eyes were still locked on the infant. "I can't believe it's been a year."
"Me either," Davis said. He bounced his knee and Aiko laughed around her thumb. "Aiko is huge!"
Yolei smiled at her daughter. "She'll be two in April. How old is this little guy?"
Davis stared at the baby, trying to remember. He stuck out his fingers, counting to himself. "Almost three months."
"Hm…"
Davis could tell by the look on Yolei's face that she was counting backwards to conception and his cheeks flushed. "I didn't know he existed until last week."
Yolei became sympathetic. "Where's his mother?"
"She's in New York."
"And you're here because…"
Davis ran a hand over Aiko's hair, smoothing her strays. "She didn't want him."
"Oh, Davis…"
"It's ok. I barely knew her."
Yolei gave him a look, but only asked, "What's his name?"
"Tyler."
Yolei's nose scrunched up like she had a bad taste in her mouth.
Davis chuckled. "His mom chose it. I've just been calling him Ty."
"Tai will love that." Yolei went back to staring at the sleeping baby. She stroked his chubby little cheek. "How could a mother ever give up her child?"
"She wasn't ready to be a mom, I guess."
"Are you ready to be a dad?"
Davis looked at the baby. Ty's skin was only a shade lighter and the tiny tuft of hair on his head was a dark burgundy. Davis remembered the baby pictures his parents had hanging on their apartment wall. They were identical. He hadn't even thought about asking for a paternity test. There wasn't a need.
"No," he answered finally.
"But you took him."
"I had to."
"Why?"
"'Cause he's mine." And when Ty's mother abandoned him at Davis's doorstep all he could think of was Rin. There was no way he could let his own child go through what she had.
Aiko dropped her worm plushy and was grabbing Davis's shirt, kneading the fabric in her small fingers. She was sucking her thumb ferociously now and her eyes were heavy. Her tiny head of indigo hair rested against his chest and Davis pulled her closer.
"She doesn't usually warm up to strangers like that."
"I'm not a stranger. I'm her favorite uncle."
"You've been gone a year."
"She remembers me."
Yolei shook her head in disagreement, but she was smiling again. "You're going to be a great father, Davis."
Davis looked back at the baby: his son. The word felt so foreign to him. He hadn't had any time to prepare. He felt tears stinging his eyelids again. "I have no idea how to take care of a baby."
"We'll help you out. And I'm sure your mom and sister are already spoiling the little guy."
"I haven't told them yet."
Yolei looked taken aback.
"We just got off the plane," said Davis. "I was too scared to go home."
"Your mom is gonna flip when she finds out you're hiding her grandbaby from her."
"I can't just show up with a baby. She'll freak."
"And then she'll smother him with kisses. Look at this face!"
Davis smirked. "It's like looking at a little me. You've managed to resist that face your whole life."
"You were never this cute."
"Apple doesn't fall far from the bush."
"Tree, Davis. Apples grow on trees."
"Whatever."
Yolei ran a gentle hand over the baby's tuft of hair. "I can't believe you're a father," she said.
"Me either."
"How does Veemon feel about being an uncle?"
Davis laughed. "He knows more about babies than I do. You should hear him lisping lullabies. He actually cried when he had to go through the portal without us, but I wasn't about to take Ty to Digiworld. I can just imagine the herd of monochromon his screaming would attract."
"I still can't believe they won't allow digimon on planes."
"Yeah, it sucks, but I can't blame them. Can you imagine if Agumon digivolved mid-flight? That sucker is going down. Speaking of digimon, where's Hawkmon?"
"He's been seeing a lot of some Falcomon. She's a little bossy for my taste."
"Heh. That makes perfect sense."
Yolei rolled her eyes.
"Anyway, I can't go home," Davis said. "I think Mom might kill me."
"For having a kid out of wedlock? Even your mom knows you aren't a saint, Davis."
Davis swallowed heavily. He looked down at Aiko, whose little thumb was dangling out of her mouth. She was dead asleep. He took a second to cover the ear that wasn't pressed to his chest. His face reddened as he quickly mumbled, "Ty's mom's a prostitute."
"What!?"
The baby stirred in Yolei's arms and then began to wail. Aiko was completely unfazed. Davis figured she was used to her mom's outbursts by now.
The apartment door suddenly clicked open and Ken backed in, carrying a bag of groceries. His hair had grown since Davis had last seen him. It was pulled back in a long ponytail. Wormmon was behind him, holding a bag big enough to hide everything but his antennae.
"I'm home, girls! Sounds like someone's having a rough-" Ken stopped mid-sentence as he turned around and saw Davis with a sleeping Aiko and Yolei shushing a tiny bundle in her arms.
"Davis is home," Yolei said, standing up to kiss her shocked husband on the cheek. "This is Ty Motomiya. His mother's a prostitute."
Despite a chilling winter wind, Ty Motomiya was happily cooing from his spot on Davis's chest. Davis smiled down at him and kissed the warm beanie on his tiny head before adjusting his coat over the baby harness. Yolei had let him borrow it. It had to be the most brilliant invention ever made. Ty never cried when he was in it. Never.
They had been in Tokyo a little over a week now. Yolei and Ken had practically pushed him to his parents' house the day after he showed up and forced him to introduce them to his son. The Motomiyas were surprised and a bit hurt that Davis hadn't come home first, but they accepted their grandson with loving arms. Of course, Davis didn't tell them much about Ty's mother. Yolei thought it might better to keep them in the dark about her profession. Davis couldn't agree more.
He and Ty had made their temporary home in the Ichijouji's apartment. It was larger than his parent's place (they had downsized to a single bedroom when he and Jun moved out) and it came with a built in babysitter. Yolei did a little consulting in the evenings (she helped build websites) but was otherwise a "professional mom."
"You think Kari's gonna be surprised to see ya?" Veemon asked. Davis had retrieved him from Digiworld a few days ago. Ty didn't cry as much now that he was back.
Davis pulled a hood over his head to block out the wind and was relieved to finally see the Kamiya sibling's apartment complex. He had sold his car before moving to New York and would have had to take the bus (he didn't have any money) so he walked. He wasn't thrilled about taking Ty along with him in the weather, but he didn't want to tell Yolei where he was going. She and Ken had been skirting the Kari topic as usual. Plus, she had told him that morning she was "so tired" which was Yolei speak for, now that it's the weekend I want to spend time with my family without you and your crying kid. It was amazing how quickly she got sick of him.
"Probably," he answered Veemon.
It took him a good five minutes of standing in front of the Kamiya's door before Davis finally got the courage to knock. Veemon was oddly patient through the ordeal, but he did make a comment about wondering how long it'd be before he got to be Flamedramon again.
They heard Tai's voice yell, "Coming!" then a curse when he apparently tripped on something. The squeaky voice of Agumon belted out an apology and then the door opened.
Tai was still dressed in a pair of red flannel pajama bottoms and a white undershirt. It was only 11 o'clock, so Davis didn't blame him. If he didn't have the baby, he'd probably still be sleeping. Tai had also cut his hair so short that he was almost unrecognizable. Sora had emailed Davis and Mimi a picture of Tai's new 'do a month or so ago. Davis ended up forking over fifty bucks to Mimi that day. It wasn't the first bet he'd lost to her. The hair was a bit more shocking in person.
Tai looked just as shocked to see him. "Davis!"
"Yo." Davis didn't bother commenting on the hair.
Tai looked him up and down for a second. "You got fat."
It was true that Davis had traded a bit of muscle for some flab around his midsection since he had gone to America. He was cooking (and therefore eating) food constantly and hadn't played soccer all year. Davis looked down and realized Tai was talking about the enormous lump under his coat. He unzipped it and unbelted the baby carrier.
"Hold this," Davis said, placing his son in Tai's unsuspecting arms. He stepped past Tai's frozen body and into the apartment. It was a bit messier than he remembered it. There were dirty dishes in the sink and video game boxes thrown around the living room floor. "I need to talk to Kari."
Veemon followed him sheepishly.
"You have a baby!" Agumon exclaimed when Tai closed the door behind him.
"Tai meet Ty," Veemon said while Davis began down the hallway to Kari's room.
"Kari doesn't live here anymore," Tai said, holding the baby an arm's length away from him, still shell-shocked. "You named him after me?"
Davis deflated and collapsed onto Tai's couch, sprawling backwards so his head hung upside down over the arm. "Oh man…" he breathed as his heart slowed to a normal pace. He looked at Tai and his son, who seemed to be sizing each other up. "Nah, his mom named him Tyler."
"Oh," Tai said. His eyes never left the baby, as if he were afraid to lose the staring contest. "Taichi is a much better name."
The staring contest came to an end when Ty closed his tiny brown eyes and let out the loudest belly laugh Davis had ever heard from an infant. "Oh good, he likes you. Wanna babysit?"
Tai's shocked face broke out into a smile and he finally took a good look at his protégé. "How come you didn't tell me you had a kid?"
"I just found out," Davis admitted. He did a sit up when Tai sat next to him and they both stared at the baby curiously. "It's a long story… but we're home now and he's staying with me and the Ichijoujis."
"When did you get back?"
"Last week."
"Dude, you shoulda called me. Some of the guys from the old team are pulling together a fantasy soccer league this year. You just missed our first meeting."
"So where's Kari living now?"
The grin on Tai's face fell. "Davis, there's something you should know."
Davis pressed his lips together and felt his stomach churn in suspense. "Okay…"
"Kari's married."
It took almost a whole minute for the words to register. "Oh," Davis said finally. He grabbed his son from Tai's arms and cradled him close, letting him grab onto his finger with his tiny little hand, trying to distract himself.
"You want some tea?" Tai asked, standing up.
"Sure."
When Tai returned with a steaming cup, Davis handed the baby to Veemon. The little dragon started going on about how great babies were while Agumon stared in fascination. Ty seemed content to stare up at him and his new friend.
Davis took a long sip of tea, even though it burned his tongue, before he spoke up again. "That's good. I'm happy for them. I mean, glad they worked things out…"
"Davis…"
"Can't say I'm not a little pissed I'm just finding out. Was I the only one of us not invited to the wedding? I mean I know things got weird, but we've all been friends-"
"Davis!" Tai said a little louder, cutting off his rushed ramble. "She didn't marry TK."
Davis's cup of tea fell to the floor. He cursed and went to grab a towel from the kitchen to soak it up. Tai stole the towel from his hands and made him sit down.
"There's more," Tai said quietly as he dried up the spilled tea.
"Oh hell…"
"She had a baby too."
Davis felt his mouth moving as if words were going to come out, but he couldn't seem to form anything coherent. No one had told him anything. He might as well have moved to another planet for a year. Then, in his stupor, his mind starting working backwards and he almost had a heart attack.
"When?" he blurted out, sounding a bit panicked.
"Uh… well Haru's not much older than yours. Five months now, I think."
"You should know your nephew's birthday, Tai," Agumon scolded.
"Do you?"
Agumon grinned sheepishly, showing an entire mouth of sharp teeth. Ty started to cry.
Davis didn't respond to his son. His jaw had dropped. After a couple of deep breaths, he forced it closed and swished his tongue around. His mouth was suddenly dry. Veemon managed to calm Ty down after making a series of goofy faces.
Tai was able to decipher the look on Davis's face. "Oh God, Davis, he was premature!" He waved his hands in the air as if it would dispel his suspicion.
Davis could only stare at him like a deer in headlights.
"I guess the question I never wanted answered got answered anyway." Tai ran a hand over his face in exasperation. "That explains a lot. I figured as much."
Davis tried to swallow, but his sandpaper tongue got in the way.
"You both moved on pretty fast I guess. So did TK, by the way. He and Catherine are expecting this spring. You know, the French digidestined? He went to France not long after you left. They haven't gotten married or anything, though. He'll probably invite you if they do."
"How come no one told me any of this before now? I just saw you guys this summer!" Davis spat angrily.
He had gone to the digiworld for their annual reunion in August. Kari, however, was absent. It was the first one he ever remembered her missing and he had hoped Tai had told him the truth when he said she was ill. He hating thinking she'd miss it just to avoid him.
Davis jumped to his feet at the realization. "You lied to me," he snapped at Tai. "You said she was sick!"
"She was sick," Tai said calmly. "That's why she went into labor early." He sighed and looked at their digimon and the baby, who were all watching them with concern. "Look, Kari didn't want you to know. I wasn't going to go against her wishes."
"So everyone else knew?"
"You were gone. It made it pretty easy to keep you out of the loop. But for everyone here… it was kind of hard to keep it secret."
Davis ran his hands into his hair, knocking Tai's goggles off his head. They fell to the floor and he didn't bother picking them up. "I can't believe this. I thought we were friends."
"I'm sorry, Davis. I know this whole situation is pretty messed up. I think she's scared of hurting you."
"Well it's too fuckin' late for that."
"Language," Veemon mumbled quietly. His free hand had covered the baby's eyes as if that somehow kept him from hearing.
"So, did she change her cell phone too? I've been trying to call her." Davis could hear his own voice take on a hysterical lilt. "Was she too afraid I'd stalk her and her new family?"
"She changed it," Tai answered. He stood up and Davis felt like a kid again. Tai was still a good three inches taller than him and he had pressed his hands on Davis's shoulders, stopping him from pacing. Davis hadn't realized he was moving until he no longer could. "It wasn't because of you. She hid away from everyone for awhile."
Davis slumped under Tai's restraint and then pressed his hands to his face. He shook his head, trying to keep himself calm. After a minute, he mumbled, "This is all my fault… I shouldn't've had-"
"Stop right there. This is my little sister we're talking about. I'm just gonna live in denial and pretend she's a saint, ok?" Tai released him and then bent over, grabbing his old goggles from the floor. He pressed them into Davis's limp hand.
"What happened between all of you," Tai said softly. "It's not all your fault. Part of this is just how Kari deals with things. She keeps things hidden inside until they blow out of proportion. Pulling away from everyone was the only way she knew how to cope."
Davis grasped the goggles so tightly that his knuckles turned white. "Let's go home, Veemon."
"She probably wants to see you," Tai said while Davis packed away his son in the baby harness. "I know she misses you."
"Okay," Davis muttered, zipping his coat around Ty and readjusting his tiny beanie.
"Just let her call you, ok?"
"Whatever."
"Davis."
He finally met Tai's eyes again. They had aged considerably over the last year and Davis wondered how much that had to do with shouldering Kari's secrets.
"I'm glad you're back."
"Yeah," Davis said. He sighed and forced a half smile at his mentor. "I missed you, Tai."
Tai slapped his shoulder. "Me too, dude."
The walk back to the Ichijouji's was silent. Veemon asked a few times if he was okay, but Davis didn't respond. He went as fast as he could without endangering his son and by the time they reached the apartment, he was sweating under his coat.
He swung open the door and found the Ichijouji family and their partners huddled on the floor, building a ridiculously large tower out of Legos. He stormed up to them and Ken quickly stood, reading the hot anger on his face.
"You bastard!" spat Davis, grabbing his DNA partner's shirt collar. Ken's foot was knocked back into the Lego tower and it snapped in half, falling to the floor. "Why the fuck didn't you tell me?"
The baby and little Aiko simultaneously broke out crying and Wormmon moved into a defensive position by Ken's feet. Ken waved his partner down, but he didn't answer.
"Davis!" Yolei cried. She pried his hand from her husband's collar. "You're scaring the children."
Davis yanked his hand from her grip. Then, softening, unzipped his coat and pulled Ty from his carrier. He held him close for a minute and (because for some reason he had become a complete pansy since his child was thrown into his life) he started to cry. Davis buried his face in his son's tiny stomach until Yolei gently pulled the wailing baby from his arms.
"I'm sorry." He fell onto their couch and hid his face in his sleeve. "Just… fuck!"
"Davis, your language!" Yolei scolded.
"Does everyone hate me now?" Davis blubbered into his arm. "Why didn't anyone say anything? Did Mimi know too?"
"Yes," Yolei answered honestly. She handed the baby over to Hawkmon when he came to her side with a bottle. "We didn't want to hide it from you, Davis. None of us were even invited to her wedding." Yolei sounded like she was fighting back her own tears.
Ken had sat down next to him and pulled a sniffling Aiko into his arms. "It wasn't our choice to make."
Davis wiped his tears on his sleeve and shot Ken a glare. "You didn't think, 'uh… hey, maybe it's a bitch move to keep Davis in the dark about this'? What about the kid?"
"He's not yours, Davis," Yolei said, sitting down on his other side. "And don't call Kari a bitch."
"I didn't. I just said it was a bitch move."
Ken had pressed his palms over Aiko's ears and she had her little hands over his, trying to move them away. Her digimon was bouncing beside her nervously, trying to whittle its way into her arms.
"If Uncle Davis is done with his potty mouth," Yolei said and Davis pressed his lips firmly together, "Daddy can let you go play with the digimon in your room."
Ken allowed Aiko to remove his hands from her ears. She grabbed her tiny partner and followed the reluctant digimon away. Hawkmon started singing some kind of lullaby to Davis's son.
"Right here if you need me, buddy," Veemon said sadly before they closed themselves up in the nursery.
"Aw, fuck me," Davis moaned again when they were out of sight. "Some leader I am. I fucked everything up and then I left. No wonder everyone hates me."
"No one hates you, Davis," Ken said sternly.
"How do you know the kid isn't mine?" Davis asked Yolei.
She and Ken met glances. "We don't, I guess. It could explain why she married so quickly, although I'm not sure why Taka would've gone for that," Yolei said.
Davis cringed. "Taka?"
"Takahiro, her husband," explained Yolei. "Anyway, Haru doesn't look anything like you. Not like Ty, he's your little clone."
Davis wiped at his eyes again, ashamed at himself for breaking down so easily.
"I wish you had told me you were going to try to see her," Yolei said. "I would've given you her cell."
"She'd be ok with that?" Davis asked bitterly. "Wouldn't put out a restraining order?"
Yolei sighed. "She knows you're home. I told her the day after you got here. She wants to talk to you."
"Huh." Davis suddenly realized he was still wearing his boots and kicked them off in the middle of the living room carpet unapologetically. "She know 'bout Ty?"
"Of course not," Yolei said. "That's your business. I don't think she expected her brother to tell you all of hers, though. She was hoping to meet you for coffee or something."
"It's probably better he found out this way," Ken said to his wife. He looked to Davis. "Now you have time to process things before you see her."
Davis grunted and then rolled his sweater over his head. "It's hot in here," he said, pulling his undershirt back down. It was wet with sweat, so he decided it was coming off too. When he was down to his jeans, he flung his socks on top of the pile and then ran his hands through his hair, removing his goggles. He leaned back onto the couch, trying to catch his breath.
Ken and Yolei were both watching him with raised eyebrows. "Feel better?" Ken asked.
"Not really," Davis said. "I'm still pissed at you."
"You want some ice cream?" Yolei asked.
"Yes."
She left for the kitchen and Ken leaned forward, folding his hands between his knees. "I'm sorry, Davis."
Davis let out a puff of air and then sprawled out onto the remainder of the couch, kicking his bare feet onto Ken's arms and wiggling his toes in his face. "Shut up, Ken. And stop looking depressed. I'm not in the mood to cheer you up."
Ken gave him a short chuckle.
Yolei returned with the ice cream and shoved it in Davis's face. "Get your nasty feet off my husband."
Davis set the bowl on his bare chest, but his feet remained put. "Why? Jealous?"
"Uh no, I don't want your toe fungus, thank you."
"I was actually alluring to the fact that your husband would be so attracted by my feet that he'd run away with me to become my gay lover."
"Alluding," Ken corrected. "Although you are insinuating that your feet are alluring…"
Yolei rolled her eyes and sat by Davis's head, pushing him over with her rear end.
"Ugh, I yield!" Davis shot up and the ice cream bowl bounced sideways and upside down onto his crotch. He stared at it for a moment before giving them each his sexiest smirk. "Ok… who's cleaning this up?"
Yolei didn't miss a beat. "You'll have to do that yourself."
She had tried so hard to forget.
So much had happened this past year that she thought she had. She had kept busy; she had hid the memory far beneath her new life and her new responsibilities. But it seemed that it was only the absence of him that let that night escape her thoughts.
Kari paused to watch him. His knees were bouncing incessantly beneath the table and his hands clung to a coffee cup like it was some sort of lifeline. Davis had never been a big coffee drinker – he was peppy enough as it was. Caffeine turned him into the equivalent of a two-year-old on a sugar high and, unfortunately, it looked like he was on his second cup. An empty drink was lying on its side beside his elbow, where it must have rolled until it hit the window pane he was staring out of.
"Did you change your mind?" Gatomon asked from behind her. Her tail was swinging side to side; its golden ring caught a flash of the setting sun through the glass door behind them.
"He's hyped up on caffeine," Kari said as if it were an answer.
They both watched as Davis leaned over the table he was sitting at, trying to see past a truck that had pulled into his view of the parking lot, and squeezed his paper cup too hard. The lid burst off and coffee exploded onto his shirt. He started cursing and fumbling with a container of napkins, wiping at the liquid stain with jittery hands.
Gatomon snorted. "You can say that again." She looked up at Kari. "Are you torturing him on purpose?"
Kari felt like she had been slapped in the face and Gatomon looked ashamed when tears welled up in her eyes.
"It's just that we're already late," the digimon explained. Her ears went flat. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's ok," Kari whispered. "You're right." She took in a deep shaky breath and began the long walk to his table.
Davis was still floundering over the spilt coffee when she reached him. The damp wad of napkins on the table looked like a tiny Mt. Fuji and he was so distracted that he didn't seem to notice her presence. His hand scraped onto his forehead and loosened the goggles that he still wore. He looked tired despite the caffeine.
"Hi Davis," Kari said softly.
He jumped up so violently that his chair tipped over, earning the attention of the other patrons. His warm brown eyes locked on her and his mouth moved like he was going to return her greeting, but his lips only opened and closed silently. Kari suddenly couldn't help but remember the way they felt against her.
"You look… bigger," Gatomon said to him, bringing them both back to the land of the living.
Davis's attention fell to the digimon and the side of his mouth curled up, the skin stretching as if forced, and he patted his stomach. "I've been eatin' a lotta noodles."
Kari noticed that he had put on some weight, but he carried it well. He really just looked bigger all over. His stained shirt was a little tight around the chest. Davis looked back up at her and his attempt at normality flew out the window. He swallowed heavily, like there was something in his throat.
"You look amazing," he said. His eyes trailed to her abdomen and Kari pulled on the sash of her coat, tightening it around her waist.
Davis straightened his goggles and picked up his chair. After looking around for a moment, he found a spare chair and managed to jam it into the tiny table so Gatomon could have a seat. "S-sorry," he said to the digimon, though his eyes were still locked on Kari. "I thought it'd just be us."
Gatomon leapt onto the chair with ease and gave the stink eye to some humans that were staring. "No problem."
Kari sat down and her hands wrung together in her lap.
"Y-you want some coffee?" Davis asked.
"I'm ok," said Kari. Her lips curled into a gentle smile. It came natural, like a mother smiling at her crying child. "How are you?"
His cheeks went taught and his tongue slid over his teeth. "I dunno," he answered after a moment. It looked like he was having trouble getting his thoughts together. His eyes settled on hers and she suddenly felt completely exposed. "I missed you…" he whispered.
"How's the kid?" Gatomon asked, sending a glance at Kari. It was the reason she had brought her along… to try to keep things as neutral as possible. "Ty?"
Davis turned red. "H-he's good. Uh... and loud." He fidgeted restlessly in his chair. "Geez, babies cry a lot." He tipped forward until the back legs of the chair lifted from the ground, and then rocked backward again with a loud click. "Tai told you, huh?"
Kari nodded and her sad smile became forced. "He said he looks just like you."
Something changed on Davis's face. His brows furrowed and his forehead wrinkled. It was a strange cross of worry and… frustration maybe. "And yours doesn't?"
Kari felt a strange heat grow in her chest. "Excuse me?"
"Your kid…" Davis started to tear apart one of the napkins that were piled on the table. "…he doesn't look anything like me, right?"
Tears welled in her eyes. "Davis…"
"No," Gatomon answered blatantly. "Haru looks like Kari."
"And his father," Kari added quietly.
Davis's eyes flashed to the ring that she now wore on her finger. It was a simple gold wedding band. There was never any engagement ring. "I can't believe it… you didn't waste any time, did you?"
It was something Kari knew he'd say. Something she'd heard before, but it still felt like a cold knife in her heart, even if it was the truth.
"Neither did you," she said softly. She was surprised at the lack of venom in her voice. Everything only choked with sadness.
"I made a mistake," Davis said through clenched teeth. The napkin in his hands continued to get torn into tiny shreds. "You started a family… with some stranger. Who is this guy?"
"Takahiro's a good man," Kari whispered.
Davis's eyes shot to Gatomon, as if looking for confirmation.
Gatomon shrugged noncommittally, but said, "He's nice."
Grinding his teeth, Davis balled the bits of napkins in his fists. For a second he looked like he was going to explode in anger, but then his hands loosened and the torn paper fell, clumped as one. His whole body sunk into his palms. "I thought that maybe... maybe after all this time, after we..." he trailed off, turning red, "I dunno. I thought maybe we could... be together. But you hate me, don't you? I fucked things up with you and TK… is that why?"
Kari felt her breath shake as she inhaled. "I don't hate you."
Davis let out a choking sound that Kari thought might have been a laugh. "Don't lie to me, ok? Just… don't. I took advantage of you, right? I… I just…I…" He grasped the goggles in his hair and his knees bounced as if he were shaking off some type of physical pain. His squirming vibrated the table and the metal flap on the sugar container rattled incessantly.
"I loved you. Kari, I still love you. I'm sorry I didn't wait for you- for us. I'm sorry I left, but when you wouldn't talk to me I couldn't stand it. I couldn't be this close and just not talk to you. I'm sorry that I, you know, had Ty. I know it looks like I gave up on you, but I didn't. That whole thing was stupid. I'm an idiot. I just… I'm sorry I didn't wait."
Davis dropped his hands and looked at Kari with such intensity that made it hard for her to breathe. "But I'm not sorry about what happened that night… I keep thinking about it, about you, the way we-"
"Davis, stop." Kari's chair scratched against the floor as she stood. Her heart hammered wildly in her chest. She tried to shake away the images his words brought to her mind. "I'm married."
Before she could move, Davis jumped to his feet. He reached over Gatomon and took hold of Kari's hand. He didn't pull her to him and, for a second, he didn't say anything. Their hands dangled, clasped over Gatomon's twitching ears. The digimon cleared her throat threateningly, but Davis ignored it. The rough tip of his finger ran over Kari's wedding ring.
"I woulda married you," he said. "I would've married you before that night." The caffeine made his hand tremble. "I still would."
Something about the way he spoke sent an uncomfortable heat through Kari's body. It traveled into her hand and her fingers slowly entwined with his. They stood there for a minute, interlocked.
"Say something," Davis said, palm sweating and shaky around hers.
Kari slowly slid her fingers from his grasp. "I have a family now." She turned to Gatomon for support and so she wouldn't have to see Davis's reaction. Her partner's ears had gone flat again.
"I- I have to go." Kari forced herself to look back up at him and found that his face was blurred. She tried not to blink. "I missed you too, Davis."
Kari heard Davis collapse into his chair when she and Gatomon reached the exit of the coffee shop. She let her eyes close only once the door had shut behind them and her vision finally cleared when she felt tears on her face.
"Are you sure you're okay?"
The whisper broke through the soft lullaby playing over the sound machine in Haru's room, piercing her thoughts like a sharp needle, another regret.
Kari kept rocking, listening to the creak of wood on wood as the glider floated back and forth beneath her. She looked down at the tiny child in her arms, limp with sleep, and felt her body relax.
"Yes," she whispered back.
The beam of light from the hall shined around the outline of her husband, making it hard to see his face, but his hesitance told her everything. That he didn't buy it, that he was wondering exactly what to say.
"I love you," he told her after awhile.
"Takahiro..." Kari swallowed back the tension that threatened its way back into her chest. She smiled gently and wondered if he could see it. "Thank you."
His shadow shifted and then the door closed, leaving her in darkness.
She stayed there for some time, concentrating on her son's tiny breaths and the squeak of her chair. The lullabies eventually faded away and the steady sounds, the swishing, the breathing, the squeaking became like a painful mantra, matching the chant of her guilty conscience.
"I love you, Haru..." she choked out, pulling the baby closer to her chest. "I love you, I love you." Tears began to roll down her cheeks as she stared at the outline of her son's tiny button nose. "I love you, I love you, I love you."
A buzz in her pocket interrupted her before her quiet words had turned completely to sobs. She took a long deep breath and gingerly shifted her weight beneath her child in order to pull her phone from her pocket. There was a message from Yolei.
davis wanted me to text u to tell u he sent a message on your dterminal so u need to read it
Kari couldn't even process this information before her phone buzzed again.
u don't have to though
Then again.
JUST READ IT!
And again.
davis stole my phone ignore him
The next buzz sent Kari a picture of what appeared to be three hands and possibly an earlobe. She could only recognize it because it was mashed inside a mop of burgundy brown hair. Kari muted the phone completely and slid it back into her pocket. Then, with all the cautiousness of a new mother, she slowly stood and tiptoed around the squeaky parts of the floor, trying to hold herself steady even though her body still hadn't fully recovered from her tears. Haru stirred when she set him in his crib, but settled after a few gentle pats. She stood above him, watching him breathe, and then finally tore herself from his side.
Gatomon was waiting for her in the hallway, curled up on a chaise next to a book Kari had been reading. She stretched out like a house-cat (she was always most cat-like when it was just the two of them) and then narrowed one eye skeptically. "Haru was awfully quiet tonight," she said.
"Takahiro said he was practicing crawling," Kari said. "I think he's worn out."
"Human babies are useless," Gatomon yawned, showing a mouth of pointed teeth.
Kari shook her head. "Just wait until he gets the hang of it. You'll have to watch that tail ring."
Gatomon hissed. "I only love him because he came out of you."
"Is that why you've been sleeping by his crib at night?"
"I thought you were in there."
Kari smiled and stroked Gatomon's ears. "I'm going to take a bath."
"I'll tell Taka so he stops pacing." Her ears instantly drooped under Kari's tense fingers. "We're both worried about you."
"I'm ok," Kari said softly. "Really," she added when Gatomon narrowed her eyes. "I just have a lot of things to process right now."
"You can't make everyone happy, you know," Gatomon said.
Kari nodded, because she knew and chewed on her lip because it still hurt. She slipped away into her bedroom and began digging in her dresser drawer until she uncovered her D-Terminal, buried from lack of use. The riots from a year ago had died down and things had been relatively calm between their worlds. It was still far from the dreams Kari imagined, but for now there was peace and she could at least be grateful for that.
She sat on her bed and flipped the D-terminal open, turning it on. It seemed almost foreign, like it belonged to another girl in another life. It blinked happily at her as if it were content to be bringing her a message again. She clicked on it and crossed her legs underneath her, bracing herself.
Kari,
You're happy, I'm happy.
Below the simple line there was a break in the text and Kari peered closer at the screen, trying to make out the picture he had sent. It was an oddly shaped pastry, something like a croissant, with blue frosting.
That's supposed to be the crest of friendship, but I actually really suck at baking. I'll stick to noodles from now on.
A strange laugh, curdled and wet, forced its way from her lips.
Ok, so this is lame, but I'm offering you my friendship, no strings.
You said you missed me, right? Not the same way I missed you, but I can live with that. I thought about it for awhile after you left and realized I'm really good at living with that. I'm used to it. But I'm not used to living like this. Without you in my life.
So... friends?
- Davis
Kari felt a dull ache spread in her chest and, after reading over his words again, she finally typed a reply.
Of course.
Her fingers hovered over the keys, filled with all the words she wished she could say, but even she wasn't sure what they were. Instead she pressed send.
Kari closed her D-terminal and set it on her nightstand. She slowly made her way into the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. The water ran hot and the room filled with steam and when she slipped naked into the tub the images she tried so hard to forget rushed back: the warmth and the haze and the passion that terrified her. And even when the water filled her ears as she sunk beneath it, her mind rang clear with one thought.
Davis wasn't happy.
And neither was she.
