Hello again and welcome back. Thank you to everyone who continues to support this story. Your flags and reviews make my insanity worth while.
Hope everyone wore their invisibility cloaks cause we're about to infiltrate the Fellowship.
*No copyright infringement intended.*
Chapter 9
"One fairy godmother reporting for duty," Claudine sang, popping in next to Amelia. She was spectacular, as always, dressed in a pink track suit that fit her perfect measurements to a tee and a pair of spotless, white running shoes. A pink, satin gym bag hung leisurely over her shoulder and her eyes had that special twinkle about them. Amelia and I glanced between us, knowing we were in for some serious magic.
"Well, come on in," I said, ushering them inside and we convened in the living room. "Can I get y'all some coffee?"
"We're having tea," Claudine replied, tapping her bag. "It's part of the spell." She pulled her antique tea pot from the depths of her bag, placed it on the coffee table and began adding bits of this and that. Meanwhile, I hustled into the kitchen and retrieved our cups.
"Hey Sook," Amelia called. "The new sword is really sweet!"
"New sword?" I questioned, rejoining them.
Amelia pointed over the fireplace and sure enough, there it was. My sword. The one Eric had given me. The one I'd used to end his maker. It was crossed over the sword he'd worn at our wedding, having taken the place of his other ancient weapon, and I was dumbfounded. A note sat on the mantle and I walked over, picked it up and looked at Claudine hopefully.
"Go on," she smiled. "This'll take a few minutes."
I moved to the spare room, closed and locked the door behind me, then snuck back down to our bed chamber and began reading.
Min Älskling Fru,
I've mounted your sword with mine to remind you of the formidable warrior you are. Do not forget that today. Though I can't help my concern for your safety, I have no doubt your mission will be successful. My only regret is that I couldn't be there to witness your triumph myself. I have the utmost faith you will take every precaution but do not hesitate to call upon the Britlingens if you find yourself in unexpected danger. I'll join you at the farmhouse as soon as the sun sets.
Your devoted viking,
E
P.S. Take a B vitamin as I'm very much looking forward to feeding tonight. My blood has missed yours.
My heart swelled as I crawled up next to Eric's lifeless body and kissed his pale lips.
My viking had given me the equivalent of a coach's pep talk before the big game while the post script set my libido on fire. Eric hadn't fed last night because he wanted me to be in top form, making it two nights in a row, and I was looking forward to our evening probably more than he was. How strange that I now loved being bitten but what do you expect when you've got a gorgeous viking doing the feasting?
"I love you Honey and I promise to be safe," I whispered, hugging the marbled slab before placing the note in my keepsake box and hurrying back upstairs.
"Perfect timing Cousin," Claudine said, pouring her brew as I sat beside her.
"Everything alright?" Amelia asked.
"Everything's perfect," I replied happily. "Eric just wanted to wish us good luck."
"I'll take all we can get," Amelia said as Claudine handed us our cups.
"This is not meant to be sipped," she instructed, promptly downing the concoction in one gulp and Amelia and I followed.
The liquid could have been many things, but tea wasn't one of them. Battery acid came to mind as it hit the back of my throat and I was thankful to finish it quickly. From the look on Amelia's face, she agreed.
"I hope the donkey piss was worth it," Amelia choked and Claudine laughed.
"I'm sorry about the taste but you'll thank me in a few minutes." She dipped into her bag again and produced a pair of flesh colored body suits. They resembled the ones I'd seen the aliens use in the movie Cocoon, only transparent.
"Are we impersonating Lady Godiva?" I asked warily and Claudine laughed again.
"Of course not. Here," she said, handing us each a bundle of clothing. "Put the suits on over your naked skin then get dressed. You may experience some light itching but it'll pass." My fairy godmother had never steered me wrong before so I offered Amelia the master bedroom while I retreated back to the guest and began getting ready.
Though the contraption looked like it had been made of plastic wrap, it felt as smooth as silk and easily slid on. When it reached my head, I realized the hoodie part was actually in front and slipped it over my face. It instantly tightened and the itching began. It wasn't too terrible but as I reached for the clothes, I heard a scream and rushed to the living room, modesty be damned.
There I found two old ladies, one stunning and calm, the other plain and completely freaked. It was easy to deduce who was who and the fact that we were all naked was the least of my worries as Amelia pointed to me and screamed again. When I looked down at my own body, I echoed her panic.
My skin was wrinkled, saggy and covered in age spots and my long, golden hair had turned short, snowy white. My once firm belly was now full and round and as the change took full effect, I felt my butt literally widen and drop. It's one thing to age gracefully over time but quite another to fast forward thirty to forty years in a matter of seconds. "What the hell?" I asked in a voice I didn't recognize.
"Ladies, calm down," Claudine said sweetly. "It's only temporary. You asked me to disguise us and that's exactly what I've done."
"Yeah, but I never signed up for my Mamaw's boobs," Amelia replied, glancing at her bosom now resting on her stomach. "If this is what's in store for me, I hope I die young."
"Don't even think that Amelia!" I reprimanded though I agreed with the boobs comment, then returned my attention to Claudine. "How long will it last?"
"Only a few hours," my fairy godmother replied. "And I promise, nothing internal has been tampered with. It is only our outward appearance and voices that have changed."
"Then why do I have the sudden urge to pee?" Amelia asked, still in shock and disbelief.
"Nerves I suspect," Claudine replied. "I didn't mean to frighten you. It was meant to be a surprise."
"Oh I'm way beyond surprised," Amelia muttered as she paced back and forth, wringing her hands. "This is like The Twilight Zone on steroids."
"You did an excellent job Claudine," I interjected. "But if we only have a few hours, we need to put on our granny panties and get a move on."
We all agreed, retreated to our respective corners and got ready. My outfit consisted of a calf length, polyester black skirt with a matching jacket and a red, silk, long sleeved blouse. I also was gifted with knee high hose, beige orthopedic shoes and large pieces of costume jewelry. When I was fully dressed, I stood in front of the mirror and studied my reflection. Now that I'd gotten over the initial shock, I had to admit. I wasn't half bad. Sure my body was soft and doughy, but Gran had been the same way and I'd always considered her beautiful. Despite the wrinkles, my skin was in pretty good shape and my eyes were still big and blue.
As I performed a final once over, Ukweli and Matokeo unexpectedly came through the mirror. Actually, it was their heads and I shrieked in surprise.
"Are you ok in there?" Claudine called.
The B's made a soft shhh noise and I nodded in understanding. "I'm fine," I hollered back. "Just found a grey pubic hair." Amelia's cackles rang through the wall as I caught my breath and motioned for the B's to speak.
"We did not mean to frighten you," Matokeo whispered. "But it was the only way to make contact."
"Ever heard of a phone?" I asked quietly and Ukweli's head shook.
"We prefer our way." Her hand pushed through the glass, holding what looked like a compact. "We will be with you and have access to places you won't. If you need us to inspect something specific, simply open and speak into this." The compact dropped into my palm and I grabbed my purse and placed it inside. When I looked back up, the B's were gone.
"Weird," I murmured, shaking my head as I slung my bag over my shoulder and met up with my partners in crime.
Claudine sat proudly on the couch, the epitome of Elder Chic. Her silver hair was clipped short, framing her porcelain face, and she wore a white blouse underneath a red jacket and black slacks. However, unlike me, she had black wedge heels and her jewelry was most certainly real.
Amelia came in wearing a long, olive green dress with a matching linen jacket but she too was stuck with Dr. Scholl's. Her hair was grey and bobbed and accented with an ornate, green barrette. She put on a happy face but her thoughts revealed she couldn't wait to get her real body back.
"Shall we go then?" Claudine asked, motioning towards the door. "I'm driving."
"But you didn't bring a car," I said, arching my brow suspiciously.
"You should know me better by now Cousin," Claudine chided and we followed her outside where a black Lincoln Towncar now sat in the driveway. The license plate read GRANNY-1, completing our facade. Three harmless, Southern ladies about to infiltrate the Fellowship.
"I should warn you," Claudine began, merging onto the highway but before she could get in another word, Niall popped in next to Amelia, startling both of us. Claudine merely finished her sentence. "Someone else is joining us."
"Apologies for my tardiness Ladies," the fairy prince said with as much gusto as he could muster in the backseat of a Lincoln. Though he still looked like himself, no one I knew, except Amelia, had ever met him so that wouldn't be a problem.
He was particularly dashing today, wearing a black suit with an ascot and an overcoat. His long, silken hair was neatly tied back and he carried a walking stick with a solid gold handle, engraved with a sun. "Nice touch," I thought.
"Great Grandfather, what are you doing here?"
"I didn't want to miss all the fun," he said with the same twinkle in his eyes Claudine had earlier. "My experiences in the supernatural world more than qualify me to handle humans. Your vampire advised what happened the last time you went up against this sect and I assured him, it won't happen again."
If I wasn't his kin, the maniacal smile he gave would have chilled me to the bone. It was like he wanted to have a reason to kill something or someone and even Amelia nervously scooched closer to the window.
"It is my understanding," he continued, "the Fellowship is gender biased. Therefore, I've brought my "mother" and her dear friends as any true Southern gentleman would." His accent was nothing short of refined perfection. "These are your new identities." He handed out three Louisiana state driver's licenses complete with pictures of our new selves.
"You do realize this is a felony sir," Amelia grinned, eyeing her alias. "But I've never seen a counterfeit this good. Hey Sook, who are you?"
"Eva Caroline Boudreaux," I replied, flabbergasted. "And according to this, it's my 70th birthday today. You?"
"Happy Birthday from your friend, Ruby Jean Harding, resident of New Orleans," she giggled. "Claudine?"
"Cecelia Ann Walker," my cousin replied in her refined southern voice.
"And who are you supposed to be?" I asked Niall who was quite pleased with himself.
"Your son, Louis Francois Boudreaux. I'm a shipping magnet and spent the last twenty years in Europe. I only just returned after the loss of my younger brother who was tragically murdered by a vampire. The FOTS has been the only comfort to you in your grief and I plan to make a very large donation, one I will hand only to a Mr. Whit Spradlin. I will speak for our group while you stay silent. Claudine, you and Amelia must deflect any questions thrown at Sookie. The less she speaks, the more she'll hear." He paused and tenderly eyed me. "I know it will be difficult, Great Granddaughter. You will see and hear offensive things but you cannot show emotion other than agreement."
He was right and I had to hand it to him. Niall's plan was nothing short of brilliant. It would be easier to hear what I needed to if I wasn't distracted by idle chatter and I mentally prepared myself to hold my temper.
Claudine pulled into the near capacity lot and found a parking space way in the back. We clambered out of the car and Niall offered his elbow while Claudine and Amelia followed close behind. I couldn't believe this many people had shown up and the thoughts I'd already begun hearing saddened and pissed me off simultaneously.
The building was an enormous structure and resembled a cross between a cathedral and The Pentagon. Stained glass windows depicting vampires burning beneath a fiery sun adorned each of it's five sides and giant suns were carved into the concrete spaces between. The Stepford families filing in were ooing and ahhing but for me, the church, and I use that term loosely, gave off a creepy, ominous vibe.
We entered the building with the rest of the sheeple and the word "cult" immediately came to mind. There wasn't one image of God, Jesus, the angels or apostles anywhere in sight. Instead, various paintings of staked or burning vampires decorated the walls.
Niall began maneuvering us close to the pulpit but was blocked by middle-aged twins dressed in matching grey suits. Their heads were small and balding, their middles full and round, making their legs appear stick like. I had to hold back a smirk as an image of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum invaded my head.
"Gentlemen," Niall smoothed. "I'm looking for Whit Spradlin. We've traveled all the way from New Orleans and hoped to meet him." He placed his arm around me and gave me a protective squeeze. "It's Mother's birthday and would mean the world to her."
"Front row is for senior church members only Sir," Tweedle Dee said while Tweedle Dum nodded.
"That's a shame," Niall sighed dramatically. "I was planning to make a sizeable donation in my brother's name. He fell victim to a vampire. But, if that's your final answer, We'll be on our way." He started to turn and Tweedle Dee stopped him.
"How sizeable?"
"More than what you'd make in five lifetimes, I'd suspect," Niall answered and there was no denying the condescending tone.
Tweedle Dum held up a finger while speaking softly into his wired earpiece. I guess money really does talk because the next thing I knew, we were being escorted down front.
An enormous mural of Steve Newlin, looking reverently towards the sun, hung behind the pulpit. He was holding a cross, that was actually a sharpened stake, close to his heart and two large movie screens flanked the blasphemous portrait. It was sickening. There was no time to dwell on it though because Arlene came rushing out from behind the offensive wall.
She was conservatively dressed in a simple, black skirt with a green, silk, long sleeved bloused tucked in at the waist and her feet were slipped into black flats. Probably every piece of jewelry she owned decorated her and the sizeable diamond on her left ring finger was the ensemble's showpiece.
"Welcome to The Fellowship," she said with a smile as fake as her dyed hair. "Who are these people? Whit told them this row was reserved. Jethro. Cletus. Who are your friends?" she asked sweetly, though there was a distinct bitchy undertone.
"My dear lady," Niall said with great panache. "I am Louis Francois Boudreaux and this is my mother, Eva and her friends Ruby Jean and Cecelia. We are looking for Whit Spradlin. Do you know him?"
Arlene's mouth had yet to close since my "son" began laying on the charm but snapped out of it to answer. "I should hope so. He's my husband."
"I should have known He'd have a fine Southern lady such as yourself as his wife."
"Well aren't you a charmer," Arlene flirted. "I don't believe my husband mentioned you. How do you know him?"
"We don't. Alas, my brother was murdered by one of those beastly vampires and we've come seeking vengeance. The grief nearly killed Mother and offering financial help to your organization would mean the world to her." Niall paused and I took that as my cue to glance forlornly at Arlene.
"You poor, sweet dear," Arlene said, patting my arm. "I know all about those horrible vamps. I lost a good friend to one when she up and married him. Can you believe it?"
"Shameful!" Claudine said, feigning shock.
"Disgraceful!" Amelia echoed dramatically while thinking. "You know I love ya Sook. This bitch is goin' down!" Her thoughts comforted me and I was able to stay calm though it was becoming much more difficult.
"I should have expected it though," Arlene continued, oozing false sincerity. "She was always odd and never even had a boyfriend until those deaders started coming around." Arlene stopped gossiping long enough to step closer to us. "Between you and me," she whispered. "The best thing her grandmother ever did was die before she found out what a slut her granddaughter is. And I hear the little tramp set up a foundation in Adele's name to hide that thieving, murderous vamp's blood money."
It took every ounce of strength I had not to eviscerate the catty bitch right where she stood. My light began welling up from within and my skin felt sunburned only on the inside. Thankfully, Niall came to the rescue.
"You must be tired Mother. You're looking a little flushed." He held me tightly while addressing Arlene. "Mrs. Spradlin, I am to assume these seats are for us?"
"Normally, I wouldn't do this but today is a special occasion," she began, trying to figure out the best way to politely brush us off. However, Niall was much to slick.
"You want us to feel like part of your family," he finished. "How delightful. We'd love to sit with you." Niall abruptly placed me into a chair behind us while Claudine and Amelia sat beside me. Arlene was beyond irritated. Apparently, we'd ruined her perfect VIP seating. Well tough titty Bitch!
The lights began to flicker and Arlene managed a final weak smile. "Enjoy the service," she said through gritted teeth then hurried back behind the wall but not before shooting The Tweedles the stink eye.
Niall chuckled, sitting next to Claudine as she placed her arm around me. "Calm yourself Cousin," she soothed sweetly. "Your power is to great. You nearly burned through the magic." I relaxed into her, silently chanting Eric's name as the rest of the congregation took their seats. I had to stay focused for him.
The lights went out and the overhead sound system began playing Onward Christian Soldiers as the movie screens illuminated and Steve Newlin appeared. When the hymn was over, he outstretched his arms towards the camera and said. "My brothers and sisters of the sun, I am proud to welcome you into the flock. This is a joyous day indeed for as our numbers increase, so does our ability to eradicate the dark creatures that openly murder God's children."
"Praise Jesus!" someone in the crowd shouted and Newlin nodded his approval.
"Yes friends, praise Jesus for it is in his name that we do God's work. Your family here in Dallas stand with you as do the rest of our flock in Atlanta, Charleston and Nashville." As he spoke, the screen to the left projected a map of the states and little suns appeared on each city. "We also have friends in Detroit, Washington and Philadelphia whose centers should be up and running within the year. But there are still many who cry out for our help. People in places like Chicago, New York and New Orleans whose politicians and media have been bought and paid for by blood money. But we will not back down, my brothers and sisters. No. We will stand and fight for what God has given us. Amen?"
"Amen!" the congregation shouted in unison.
"Now I ask you to give a round of applause to Brother Whit Spradlin, his wife Arlene and their children Coby and Lisa."
The room clapped and cheered as the family took the stage. Arlene was lapping up the adulation as was Whit who waved like a pageant queen. Coby and Lisa, however, were visibly uncomfortable and I hoped, for their sake, they wouldn't be on display much longer.
"Brother Spradlin has pioneered the new youth program, Children of the Sun and yours will be the first to implement it. Your children will be generals in God's army. Take it away Whit."
"Thank you Reverend Newlin," Whit smarmed, drunk on his prestige. He was an average man of average build and average height and his pale, thinning hair was done in a comb over. His eyes though were ice blue and just as cold when he glanced in our direction.
"Just like the song says, I believe that children are our future and the future, I fear, won't be pretty. We can't coddle them and pretend the vampire threat doesn't exist. We must teach them now so they can finish what we have started. My kids, Coby and Lisa, have already started their training. Here's a short film to show you what they've learned." Coby and Lisa cringed when Whit called them his kids and I joined them when I watched what came next.
The film was the biggest piece of propaganda I'd ever seen. It reminded me of the Hitler Youth films we'd been shown in history class and I was repulsed. Coby and Lisa were shown wielding crossbows and their targets were dummies dressed as vampires. Whit's voiceover was the worst, coaxing parents to enroll their children into God's army for the glory of his holy light. What shocked me the most was the congregation actually ate up his pile of manure and asked for seconds. Amelia held my hand tightly. She was just as appalled as I was. The only thing missing from the disgusting piece was a suicide bomber and I breathed a sigh of relief when it was over.
The lights brightened momentarily and Whit was back at the podium looking like the cat who ate the canary as he spoke. "Brothers and sisters, our service is ending early today so you have ample opportunity to register your children. Enrollment forms are located at the tables just outside the exit and my lovely wife Arlene will be there to provide any help needed." Whispers of approval vibrated through the audience as Whit once again addressed the screen.
"Reverend Newlin, the Lord has provided an unexpected gift to you as well as our congregation. I felt it only fitting to end this glorious day by presenting it." The look of surprise on Newlin's face was not lost to me as Whit pointed to the screen opposite him and a horrifying image appeared.
It was Clancy and he was chained to the wall in some sort of holding cell that looked to be the size of a janitor's closet. The acoustics were so clear, you could hear the sound of his skin burning underneath the mountain of silver that secured him. It reminded me of bacon sizzling on the stove. His mouth was bloodstained and when it wrenched open, gasping in pain, his fangs were noticeably missing.
"Reverend, this demon has laughed in the face of the Almighty, disrupted the natural order and pronounced himself a god," Whit stated like a prosecutor during closing arguments. "But today, his judgment will be rendered when we cast him into the fiery pits of Hell."
A bone chilling scraping sound rang out as the ceiling above Clancy slowly opened and sunlight filtered in. He struggled to break free, panic in his eyes, but it was no use. His hair caught fire first, followed by his face and the screams became agonizing wails. No matter what his issues with me had been, he didn't deserve this. No one did. Correction. No one except Whit Spradlin and his cronies. I closed my eyes and prayed it would be over soon, gripping Claudine and Amelia's hands so hard, I thought they might break. I didn't look in my great grandfather's direction because deep down, I knew part of the fairy prince was enjoying this and I just couldn't deal with that right now.
Five minutes later, the last of the flames silenced Clancy for good and the screen went black. You could have heard a pin drop in the auditorium and for a brief moment, I hoped the stunt had backfired and everyone would leave in solidarity and march strait to the Shreveport Police Department. Instead, the whole congregation erupted in a standing ovation, even children as young as five or six, and that scared me more than anything.
Newlin enthusiastically clapped too but his eyes told me he hadn't planned such an overt display. He was either pissed that he couldn't be here personally or pissed that this had been done without his prior approval. As the thunderous applause continued, I discretely reached for my compact and pretended to check my makeup.
"When this is over," I whispered, hoping the B's would hear me, "follow Whit. Newlin is gonna want to talk to him and we need to know the content of that conversation." The compact was back in my purse almost as quickly as it had left it and I joined in the applause though it made my skin crawl to do so. Finally, the noise died down and as the congregation dispersed, Niall took me by the arm.
"Now is your time to shine," he said proudly, while steering me through the sea of bodies towards Whit. When he saw us, his face hardened though his smile was a mile wide and he promptly dumped the portly woman who was singing his praises.
"Mr. Boudreaux," he greeted, shaking Niall's hand. "Pleasure to meet you. I trust you enjoyed the service?"
"Quite enlightening," Niall replied jovially. "I see now why Mother and her friends were so insistent to come. Tell me, do you execute vampires every Sunday or only on special occasions such as this?"
Whit nervously tugged at his collar. "We've never had a holy bonfire before. Our boys just happened to get lucky and caught that one off guard." His mind immediately betrayed him and flashed an image of a man, shrouded in shadow, handing over some sort of list. "I intend to hunt and exterminate as many as possible. You don't agree with it?" he asked in a slightly accusatory tone.
"Oh, I heartily agree," Niall said and I knew there was truth in his statement. "It's just that leaving a vampire to burn in the sun seems so amateur. I prefer a one on one fight myself." He winked as he unscrewed the top of his cane, revealing a silver sword inside. "There's nothing like a good old fashioned beheading, I say. But that's my humble opinion."
Whit's mind was racing so fast, I could barely keep up but I did conclude if Niall was a woman, Whit would've kissed him…with tongue. From the far corner of the room, the Tweedles made a motion and as Whit acknowledged them with a nod, I noticed the man from his thoughts was with them though I still couldn't see his face. He was dressed in black and had an LSU baseball cap pulled low over his brow. "I hate to abruptly end this," Whit said apologetically. "But duty calls. My wife mentioned you were interested in making a financial contribution."
"I am," Niall said, handing over a certified check. Whit's eyes bugged out and he shook Niall's hand again though much more vigorously.
"Thank you!" he gushed like a groupie. "I'll be sure and tell the Reverend of your generosity. As a token of our appreciation, we'll keep your seats reserved for you at all times." He turned and faced me, Amelia and Claudine, tipping an imaginary hat. "Ladies, it's been a pleasure," he said before joining the Tweedles and their mystery companion and they all retreated to an unseen room together.
Quickly, I whipped out my trusty compact again. "Find out who the man in the baseball cap is and where he lives. Eric and I will summon you later."
"Did you get everything you were looking for?" Amelia asked, wrapping her arm around me as we headed to the car.
"I think so," I replied then turned to Niall. "I hope you weren't including Eric back there."
"Of course not," he replied with a smile. "I guess I'm not such a bad actor after all."
"You were wonderful!" Claudine said as we climbed back into the Lincoln.
"By the way," I interrupted. "Just how much money did you donate?"
Niall's smile widened. "One million," he said proudly and Amelia's jaw dropped in unison with mine. "I have little use for money in my world. You did well Great Granddaughter. Your husband will be proud." And with that, he vanished.
The ride back to my house was made in silence and I went over every horrible thing I'd witnessed at least ten times. One thing was for sure, whoever the shadow man was, his days were most likely numbered.
Originally, this was going to be a girl's only party but Niall kept bugging me to include him. Before anyone throws the traitor card at him, let me assure you. He is most definately NOT the enemy! He did what he had to do to get Sookie the access she needed. However, since he is a fairy prince and has warred with vampires, it's logical to conclude he wouldn't be devastated by Clancy's death.
Curious to see who'd play the older ladies? Head on over to The Casting Couch. You can see the girls' aliases, Whit Spradlin and Julie. Hope you like and I promise. Next chapter takes place mostly after sundown so there'll be plenty of Eric.
Peace!
Hippychik
P.S. Don't forget. Reviews are always appreciated!
