Answer 1: read below!

Answer 2: read below as well!

Answer 3: you can bet your ass!

Disclaimer: Alright, you caught me. I am Hideaki Anno in a German costume! I own Evangelion and everything else in this world. You all belong to me! And I am not insane or megalomaniac! I don't care what my psychiatrists say; I'm not a madman just because I'm running around in a chicken costume and claim to be god... I AM NOT CRAZY!!!

Yann-kun: Easy MyWay, easy... They are all gone!

MyWay: --breathing heavy--

Yann-kun: He's gone nuts!

MyWay: I AM NOT NUTS!!! Because "this" is in speech and 'this' in thought; -:this:- is some doing while having a call; --this-- is some seamless doing in a sentence (or something like that...) See? SEE? That's the proof! I AM NOT A LOONY!!!

Yann-kun: Yes you are! You say that slogan in every chapter. You - are - crazy!

MyWay: AAAARRGGHHH! --runs around and jumps out of the window eventually--

Yann-kun: Hey folks, painful impact with concrete for the author, another chapter for you all!


Chapter nine: Home free

Everyone stared at the door as it opened. Disbelief was written all over their faces.

"That's..."

"...not..."

"...possible!"

"Hey guys, sorry it took so long, but I had to run over a freak to get here."

"Who the fuckin' hell ordered a pizza?", Misato asked furiously.

Not Shinji Ikari stood in the door, but a pizza-boy.

"Well, some guy named 'Urashimo' called an hour ago and said, that this apartment needs pizza baldy, so he paid it in advance and said that we should hurry or his life would be about to be fucked up."

"Yeah, pizza! Good food for men!", Toji said to everyone's surprise. I mean, he actually said something.

"Are you implying, that my food is not worth to be called 'good'?", Hikari asked as her aura became fiery.

"That's not what I- wait, I can explain! HEEELP!!!", shouted the already damaged boy while running for his life the second time this day.

"Geez, these two...", Kensuke sighed.

"Isn't love supposed to be peaceful?", Rei asked from the side.

"Ahm... A bit of argumentation belongs to every relationship. People have to discuss their problems in order to solve them! A relationship without any argumentation is doomed to fail.", Misato said thinking.

"How far can these argumentations go?"

"Sometimes, in the heat of a fight, people say and do things they regret afterwards. Once a damage is done, it can't be repaired that easy.", Misato said in thought. Her expression became regretful.

'Ikari and I do some talking, but have we ever argued? We had something like an argumentation on that escalator. I've slapped him back then. Just like major Katsuragi said. --grumbles-- I have to apologize.'

Kensuke noticed Rei's thinking.

"You should be careful about what to say to Rei in these kinds of matters. She misunderstands things quite easily.", Kensuke whispered behind his hand.

"What do you mean?", Misato asked back.

Rei stood up.

"I have to find Ikari-kun!"

Silence again.

"Ah, now I see...", Misato said while rolling her eyes.

"You will stay here! You will explain your strange behaviour, Wonder girl."

"Don't ask...", Toji and Kensuke said in union.

"I'm in love with Ikari-kun."

Real silence... One could hear the heartbeat of a fly!

"Misato,", Asuka said and turned to her guardian, "the first child is possessed by an angel."

"Probably, she is possessed, but not by an angel.", Misato said and smiled.

No one noticed, but I tell you readers. Asuka blushed. One moment of blush, but Asuka regained her senses quick. (Even if someone had noticed, he wouldn't have believed his eyes, would he? Would you???)

No one really understood what she said, but the result was clear. Asuka and Hikari disappeared in Asuka's room. Toji got slapped. Kensuke lay on the ground. Rei sat at the table and Misato, how wonder some, grabbed another beer. The pizza boy still stood in the doorway.

"The oldest and most common feeling of humanity...", Misato grumbled into her beer.

"Do you mean love?"

"That's number one, yes.", Misato said and sighed satisfied.

"Which is number two?", Kensuke asked from the ground.

But not Misato gave the answer, the blue haired girl did.

"Jealousy..."

"Ahm, excuse me, but what about these pizzas now?", the young man asked.

------ The Streets of Tokyo three, twenty minutes ago ------

"Jesus, it's cold. I'm freezing my ass off...", Shinji said while his teeth chattered.

His arms folded around his chest, he walked against the wind.

'Hey, that side street should bring me home faster!', Shinji thought hopefully as he got sight of a small passage through some houses. Unfortunately he did not remember, that he took the same street this morning the other way.

"I can see it, I can see...", Shinji stopped short as he got sight of something familiar. A dog.

"Stay away! I'm serious, I already fought a croc today, so you are nothing for me but an appetizer!", Shinji threatened in his animal-despise-voice.

The dog, after all three foot tall and armed with sparkling teeth, was as afraid as a blade of grass in the morning sun. The dog came closer, growling like hell's guardian.

'So much for the intimidation...'

Shinji jerked as the dog barked at him. Fast thinking was unavoidable.

'Damn, nothing here I could use for defence. No place to hide either, and I bet all my clothes that this half horse can run faster than I can. What should I do?'

He had no time to think for an answer. He was forced to try if he could compete with the dog in the matter of speed.

"AAAARRRGGHH!!!", Shinji screamed on his retreat, the dog on his tracks.

'The street!', Shinji thought. ' Perhaps I can climb up a street lamp... What am I thinking? These running teeth will dismantle me in no time...'

As Shinji got up to the street, he realized quickly that he would never get up in time. So he decided to run up the street. As he saw lights coming closer, he tried to stop the car. A fatal mistake...

"A car, HEY! HELP ME! STOP PLEASE! HEEELP!"

Shinji, the euphoria in his veins, did really believe this car would stop for him. Well, there is the catch in it. Believing is like hoping... hoping is for who? The one's without luck...

"HEY, WAIT!!! AAARRRGGHH...", the scream was interrupted by the sound something bashing against a very fast car.

The good news is, that the dog is not chasing Shinji anymore. The bad thing, the car did not only hit the dog...

"Was that a young boy?", the pizza boy asked himself as he looked into the rear mirror. He just shrugged and went on.

In a puddle of water, there he lay. The hero of this story. The boy who defeats angels. The boy whose balls were kicked out this day. The unconscious one...

----- Tropical Island -----

Shinji looked up and sighed.

"Here again? What's coming now? A chess playing dinosaur? A flying whale? Albert Einstein in a chicken costume?", Shinji asked the shore. Only waving came back.

"Well --sigh-- I guess I'll see it soon enough..."

He waited, but nothing happened. The island was as an island should be. Quiet...

"Come on Shinji, wake up. I want to go home...", he said impatiently.

He sighed again but stopped short, as he heard something moving behind him.

'Ah, here it comes...'

"Shinji...", three voices whispered. Very seductively!!!

"What the-", Shinji began, but the rest stuck in his throat as he turned around. There, only very barely clothed, were the three women of his life. Misato, Rei and Asuka. All of them coming closer.

"Yeah..." Shinji's faced morphed into a big grin.

"Do you want me?", Misato asked.

"Or me?", Asuka suggested.

"Or all of us together?", Rei offered.

"Well ladies, I know this sounds cocky, but there is enough Shinji for all of you!", Shinji said macho style.

"Why don't we go over to the shadows... I think it's quite hot here.", Asuka said and played with her bra.

"Yes, that's it! That's the dream I ordered! Let's have some-"

Shinji wanted to go, but his right foot wasn't moving. Like something was holding it back.

"That's a bad joke!", he said. His voice showed pure panic.

Then, very slowly at first, an invisible force pulled on his foot, trying to drag him to the ocean.

"NO, I want to do the dream! --tries to get off the invisible force-- LET GOOOO!!!"

Shinji fell but still tried to resist. The force pulled harder.

"NOOOO, NOT YET!!!", Shinji looked hopefully over to the girls, but they began to do the dream on their own. "AAAARRRGGGHHH, WAIT... I WANT TO PARTICIPATE!!!"

Shinji tried to rob, but wasn't successful. He looked like he was swimming in the sand.

"NOOOOOOOO....."

Eventually Shinji gave in. He was pulled away from the island. He now could see a transparent rope around his foot which was dragging him away. As he looked into the flying course he didn't want to believe his eyes.

"I don't deserve this...", he said in self-pity.

At the other end of the rope, around ten meters above the waterline, flew a whale. On a boat under him was a dinosaur sitting at a table and playing chess with himself and some grey haired freak in a chicken costume grinned at him and waved goodbye.

Shinji began to cry in desperation.

------ The dangerous streets of Tokyo three ------

As Shinji opened his eyes, he felt like shit.

"That's not fair... GOD, when do you plan to pay back for this day? WHEN???"

------ Hawaii, a beach, a person -------

"Hehehe, never!!!", the men said evilly.

As he was rubbing his hands for the next best idea to torture Shinji when another man appeared.

WHACK -- a bulge formed on the first man's head --

"Jesus, what was that for?"

"You will do him some good, understood?"

"Who am I? God?"

"You are God!"

Silence...

"You got a point there... alright, may luck be with him.", God, who looks similar to the author, said and folded his hands together in front of him.

"Alright Pop, I leave it up to you...", Jesus said. (Strange, I could swear Yann-kun looks like Jesus... No kidding!!!)

Jesus went off to the beach bar, chatting with some hot babes.

"Hehehe --hand rub-- but not yet!"

------ Streets -----

Shinji straightened up growling.

"THAT'S INHUMAN!!!"

He breathed like an old train. The dog on the other side of the street barked once and snarled.

"COME OVER IF YOU DARE TO!!!", Shinji shouted. Not his words were intimidating, but his eyes. He looked like devil himself. The dog made a 'tail-between-the-legs' retreat.

"NOW I GO HOME AND NOTHING AND NOBODY WILL STOP ME!!!"

------ The Katsuragi apartment ------

"I think we should look for him. It's getting late..."

"Really? And where should we look for him? I'm not sure if you remember, but we already looked for him. And the fact that he is not here right now is no sign of success in my eyes...", Toji said and rubbed his cheek, which still showed a slight imprint of a hand.

"We let Ayanami lead! I mean, she's so alien lately, I wouldn't be surprised if she would find him."

"I wouldn't be neither... but nevertheless, he could be everywhere. Perhaps some slave trader sold him to a crazy old man in middle Siberia and there he must shrub old SS-20 missiles..."

"Since when do you know about old Russian rockets? Are you mutating into a military freak as well???", Kensuke asked hopefully.

"How often have you told me about the Cuba crisis and about every little detail? Do you think I couldn't keep something in my mind --observing Kensuke's reaction-- I am not transforming into a guy, who has pictures of weapons and battleships instead of hot babes!"

"HEY!!! --acts hurt-- I have pictures of hot girls! Even videos! I've borrowed you some! Remember that!!!"

"Right, the one with the blonde cutie doing-"

"Excuse me, but we don't want to hear that!", Misato said irritated.

"Oh, right... The chance to find him might be low, but at least it's a chance! If you don't try, you'll not succeed for sure."

"You're right, Kensuke... --turns to Misato-- perhaps we should split up. We don't all fit in your car anyway..."

"ASUKA!", Misato shouted, "We're searching Shinji. You come?"

For about seven seconds, there was no reply.

"She probably-", Toji began. He was interrupted by music.

Loud music coming from Asuka's room. Kind of Rock.

"I think that's an answer as well... So we all fit in the car. Let's go."

Misato grabbed her car keys, Rei arranged her thoughts, Toji picked up Kensuke and Pen-Pen installed a shower cabin in the bathroom.

Deeply in thought, they got into the elevator.

'I could swear Ikari-kun is nearby...', Rei thought as they arrived at the car.

----- 42 seconds earlier -----

"Elevator? Why are you going up without me? You know what, I'll take sporty route. Thanks...", Shinji said ironically and ran up the stairs. Well, running would be the wrong description, but at least he tried to.

As he arrived upstairs, the elevator just closed and it went down.

"Hey, if you don't like me, then tell me!" Shinji shook his head.

As he approached the door, he noticed that it was not really closed. So, Shinji stepped in.

'Hey, I'm lucky... The sky will come down on all of us...'

"Tadaima..."



Will Shinji find happiness? Will the rescue troop find Shinji? How the hell can a penguin install a shower cabin?

The answers will be yours! JUST - GIVE - ME - SOME - TIME ! ! ! !

Really, you folks need more patience. I was camping!!! Many alcoholic drinks were obscuring my mind... I don't know if this chapter is good or not, but now he's home. Don't think his day is over now! --rubs his hands— -- get's beaten by Jesus / Yann-kun again –

Yann-kun: "I saw that!"

I thought about it. I'm not sure if I should end his day in the evening or next morning. Let's make a vote. Write your opinion in your review. That means, you have to review!

10 reviews saying 'I want the next morning. Do it stupid.' And I'll make a chapter you WILL love!!! Trust me...

By the way, you can also say: "Dear Master Manu (my real name), please share your endless great writing skills with us. In your infinite kindness, be so generous to bright our days and update the next morning..." Sounds good to me! You don't have to crawl on the ground, so stand up.