Title:
Heist.
Author:cheekymice.
Rating:
Um…PG13-R later chapters will be a
higher rating.
Beta:
mel39.
Hugs and kisses Melly.
Disclaimer:
I don't own The OC, Ryan or Benjamin McKenzie.
Story:
As requested Hero! In peril Ryan!
Yeay! All in the title really. Set post finale.
Notes:
For anyone who has left a review and anyone else who's been nudging
me. Enjoy.
Heist
Chapter 9
Kirsten rubbed circles on the palm of Ryan's hand, slow methodical movements that she'd taken to using when sitting with her foster son. The nurses said that maintaining physical contact was important and so was talking, as they were never sure as to what coma patients could feel and hear. So Kirsten had taken to holding Ryan's hand as she spoke. She wondered what Ryan would make of the gesture. It was alien to be touching the normally guarded boy in such an intimate way but Kirsten had to admit that it was nice.
Finding things to say was getting increasingly difficult. There was something about hospitals that sucked all conversation from you at the best of times but when the person you were visiting was completely unresponsive it seemed ten times worse. Even Sandy was having difficulties and he usually never had a problem in that department. Four days and nights was a long time to fill with positive chatter. It struck her how little they still knew about Ryan. Trying to find anecdotes about his behavior and vignettes about their life together made them both realize that Ryan was still so insular, even after three years.
Sadness had struck both of them; they were almost triumphant when they remembered something happy that they could talk about. It seemed that most of their Ryan happy memories consisted of unpleasant times for him. The very events that brought him to them were hardly topics to dig up. It wasn't like she could say 'remember when your family imploded, your brother got sent away and your mom moved without telling you …and hey, eventually…you got to stay with us, wasn't that great?'
It had been a blessing for them when Ryan joined their family but it was always at the back of her mind as to what cost that had been for Ryan.
Talking about how proud they were at his graduation was obviously out of the question, even though that day was one of her and Sandy's milestones and one of their happiest memories. What had come after was not. She knew that Ryan still hadn't really embraced Christmas, and so many other events were tainted with some form of tragedy for him that it was a veritable field of landmines that they had to pick their way across. So she sat and rubbed is hand and kept on safe but bland subjects, hoping that he was listening and could hear how much he was loved.
Kirsten let Sandy take over and went for a walk around the grounds to clear her head and to ring Seth. Her neck ached and she could feel a headache start to wrap itself in a tight band around her forehead. She was hoping the fresh air would help the tension she felt in every muscle in her body. She got her phone out and rang home. Seth picked up on the first ring as he'd taken to doing. The conversation was quick. She could hear the worry, frustration and concern in his voice as he told her to 'take care'. They had made a pact with their son that when he wasn't at the hospital himself they would ring him every hour with a progress report …not that there was ever any news to tell him other than to say that although Ryan was no better, he was no worse, which was all they could cling to. Seth was taking this hard. He wanted to spend more time with Ryan but they had discussed it and with only two visitors allowed at a time they felt it fell onto their shoulders as parents to sit with him at night and not his.
He'd sulked at first but Summer had sided with them. Ryan would want him fresh and not grouchy when he woke up, she said. Kirsten was thankful that the girl was helping; she knew what it was doing to Seth having to watch his friend, as he seemed to slip further away from them. Summer was managing to distract Seth by keeping him busy organizing 'projects' for when Ryan did wake up.
And he was going to wake up.
He was.
Even though the doctor said that each day he was unconscious was a worry. That was an understatement, to put it mildly. Each day he lay there, unmoving and looking so small, it was all Kirsten could do to stop from crying.
Kirsten felt at such a loss at times like today she wished that she could pass responsibility over to Seth and his easy chatter but that side of Seth had all but vanished since that morning in the bank. Even Sandy wasn't his usual self-assured self. They had all changed it seemed, but what scared her the most was how Ryan was going to come out of this.
She sat down on a bench and took deep breaths to compose herself. Take each day as it comes she told herself. She didn't care in what state Ryan emerged from this…. she just wanted him back.
Sandy leant forward. He had Ryan's hand – the one without the canular tube- in between both of his and he held tight. It was easier to talk when he was on his own. It shouldn't have been but it was. He suspected that Kirsten felt the same and that's why they both left each other for periods of time. He stared at Ryan for a time trying to blot out the machines by the bed and tubes. It was a cliché but if you blocked out the setting Ryan did look like he was sleeping.
"Do you remember that second night you were with us? You looked so smart in my old suit and so unsure of yourself even though you didn't want me to see. I watched as you worked that room, you played the Newpsies like a pro; you were so unlike the Ryan we came to know and love… putting on such a tough act but I could see that underneath it all you were so scared. Well kid I've got to say that over the years you've given me quite a few scares but I admit to you that right now I've never been more scared in my life. I don't know what I can do. I can't turn back the clock and I can't change any of this. This is no match for an old hack lawyer Ryan, I feel so useless…we need you…" Sandy swallowed. "I'm still not sure of who the real 'you' is and the thought that I'll never know…never find out..."
Sandy let his words hang in the air.
He jumped when he felt one of Ryan's fingers jolt in his hand.
Just when he thought he'd imagined it, it happened again, in, stronger this time. He held on to Ryan's hand with one hand and then rubbed the knuckles of his free hand firmly up and down his sternum the way the nurse told them to.
"Ryan…can you hear me? Wake up kid…"
The hand twitched again inside his and although it must be irritating the hell out of him – Sandy had tried it on himself and it hurt- he rubbed harder. Anything to prolong the reaction. This time Ryan's body arched slightly and Sandy could almost hear Ryan say 'geroff ' in the same sleepy tone he used when you had to wake him for school when he'd overslept.
Sandy rubbed harder still and this time there was no mistaking Ryan's annoyance. He frowned, an honest to goodness Ryan 'leave me alone' frown. Sandy dropped his hand and rushed out to the corridor, the call button by the bed forgotten in his excitement.
"Nurse…nurse." He knew he was shouting but he didn't care.
"Mr. Cohen?" Esther, Ryan's pretty Jewish nurse emerged from behind the nurse's station. The last time he'd visited Seth had tried to use sexual bribery on Ryan, telling him that he needed to wake up and check her out because she was right up his street, big brown eyes and dark wavy hair with a body that had the right amount of 'va va voom'. It had been worth a try but that seemed like a long time ago. Ryan had moved…several times actually, after days of immobility.
"My son…he…" Sandy took a gulp of air almost hyperventilating; Esther chose not to waste time on listening to him but rushed towards Ryan's room to see what was going on for herself.
"Sandy?" Kirsten rounded the corner back from her walk and started to run towards him. "What is it?"
"He moved." Sandy leant forward and put his hands on his knees.
"What?" Kirsten looked confused at the news. It was clear on her face that she had expected the worse.
"Ryan…. he moved his hand several times. I did the sternum rub thing that they showed us and he got pissed off with me. The doctors said that was a good sign didn't they…if he responded to that?"
Kirsten turned and swung open the door to his room. The nurse was checking his stats. She turned as Sandy caught up with her.
"We've got REM…I've paged Dr Clarke, he's on his way down." She started writing on his chart. "This is a good thing…he's becoming more aware of things around him. Look."
Sandy and Kirsten both took a side of the bed and watched Ryan. His face was impassive and they felt disappointment. Kirsten couldn't help herself and rubbed his breastbone. Ryan's eyelids flickered and his hand twitched.
" See… there." Sandy beamed.
"You might want to lay off that a bit." Esther gave them both a smile. "His chest is looking a little sore."
Kirsten gave a sheepish grin and looked down at Ryan. He had several electrode patches attached to his bare chest but between them the skin was looking a little red from the hard rubs they had been giving him. She laid her hand flat and gently stroked the skin.
"Sorry, sweetie…we just want you to come back to us."
She watched incredulously as Ryan's hand actually moved off the bed and impatiently tried to brush hers away. It may have been a completely dismissive act but it was the best thing she'd experienced in a long time.
She burst into tears. Sandy rushed to her side and hugged her. Neither of them took their eyes of Ryan.
It felt like a huge anti-climax when ten hours later they found themselves still sat by Ryan's bed just watching him again as he lay still. Doctor Clarke assured them that this was a step forward but now that Ryan was not responding again it just left them deflated.
They were so sure after he moved his hand that it was only a matter of time before he woke up.
Ryan felt like he was swimming through syrup. His limbs felt heavy and he felt tied down.
He was stuck between two worlds, one made up of reality and one, a mixed up dream world full of strangeness and confusion. Things made no sense in the dream world, one minute he'd be playing quarter back for the Denver Broncos and the next he was a wolf running in the desert. It was weird but it didn't make him anxious. He heard Sandy and Kirsten there…Seth and Summer too. They told him to wake up and they said nice things…soothing things to him that made him feel warm.
He preferred the dreams…it was the reality that was scaring him. He saw the accident again and again, the car rolling down the bank, the look in Marissa's eyes when she'd died, Trey getting shot, his mom being hit by his father, the faceless men that had hurt him, kneeling on the floor waiting for the sound of a bullet. But the worst memory by far was being in the black oppressive and asphyxiating heat of the safe deposit room. What if Seth and Sandy hadn't gotten out? Maybe they were dead.
He didn't want to wake up in case the voices he heard were lying to him. Maybe he wasn't safe. What if he was in that room still, choking and trying to catch his breath, feeling the panic as his lungs burned?
'Wake up.'
Ryan ignored the voice as it spoke softly in his ear.
'Ryan.'
He just wanted to sleep and dream. Think some more in case he was still in that bank vault, anything to put off waking up there in that airless heat.
"Ryan…please…" The voice was asking…imploring him; he could hear the tears in her voice. He hated it when women pleaded with him and cried.
Something was prodding at his chest again. He wished they'd stop.
"Mom, you're going to piss him off if you keep doing that."
Seth? Seth wasn't in the dark with him. Seth wouldn't lie to him. It better not be him who was poking him in the chest, he knew better than that.
"Mom…stop it. He's not going to wake up until he's ready. You told me that."
Ryan blinked up into the bright light. He could hear Kirsten and Seth argue by the side of him.
He opened and shut his eyes several times. He was in a light, bright room that smelt of flowers. He was not in that fucking tomb anymore. He didn't think he was dreaming this time, this felt different.
He felt relief wash over him but the damn hand still rested on him even though it had stopped moving.
He grabbed at the hand and pushed it away from him.
He stared upwards and two faces came into slow focus.
"Oh God…He's awake!"
Kirsten was crying and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand and he wondered why.
Seth looked like he'd done when he'd lost his virginity.
Why were they watching him sleep?
He shut his eyes as the glare from the overhead light penetrated through his confusion and made his head ache.
"Oh no…don't you dare, Ryan!" Kirsten sobbed. "Wake up."
He opened his eyes at her command and wondered why he was in trouble.
"Call the nurse, Seth…and your father," Kirsten instructed, and picked up his hand and held it up to her face, new tears starting to flow. He'd never pegged Kirsten as a crier before.
"Hey," Ryan said. His voice sounded gravely and hoarse. Maybe he'd had a cold.
"Hey, you," she replied.
Ryan swallowed and shut his eyes briefly and squeezed her hand.
He looked around him but couldn't figure out where he was. He felt thirsty but he had a greater need right now.
"I need a cigarette." And he did. The feeling was really strong. He could almost taste it. Kirsten seemed to think that was funny for some reason.
"As much as I disapprove… I'd happily buy you a packet right now. I think I'd even join you for one," she said as she laughed.
"That's a date," he muttered. He hadn't known that Kirsten had ever smoked. He felt his eyelids drop. "Sleepy."
"You've slept enough, young man. Try and stay awake…please."
"Huh?" he questioned before he felt heavy again.
"Just make sure you wake up again," she whispered.
His last thought was why wouldn't he wake up?
Ryan's eyes were closed again by the time Sandy and Seth came back with the nurse but it was different this time.
He snored.
It was a glorious sound.
TBC
