"Well, I don't know what her problem is," said older Harry, biting into his bread.
Harry, Ginny, Ron, and Hermione were having pleasant conversations with their older selves, but they seemed to be the only ones interested in the subjects.
"Well, it's just that I'm glad now," said younger Ginny to her older self, shooting older Harry a look.
"Harry looks fine like he is at seventeen," said older Ginny.
"Well, yeah, but older Harry is fine," said younger Ginny.
"Yeah, well, enjoy geeky clueless Harry," the older said wisely. "You know how many girls I have to beat off him every day of my life?"
"Well, if you don't mind me saying," said younger Ginny, "I'm not exactly plain."
"Thank you," said older Ginny, beaming.
"Well, you know, I've done as much as I can so far," said older Hermione. "But do you know how hard it is, being part of the ministry and an ex-Auror, a published author and the mother of three kids?"
"I know I'll never give up on SPEW," said younger Hermione.
"Well, give up, no," said the elder.
"Granger's don't give up," said the younger.
"Weasley's do," the older Ron called, deep in conversation with his younger self.
"You know he—I'm right," younger Ron said.
"Anyway," said older Harry. "That wasn't the point."
"What was your point?" asked younger Harry.
"My point is that she's too young to know what's good for her," said older Harry. "She's only fifteen."
"Wasn't Julia born when I was seventeen?" asked young Harry. "Around Christmas, wasn't she?"
"Well, yeah," older Harry sputtered.
"So it'd be about the same age if she got—"
"DON'T EVEN SAY IT," said older Harry, and young Harry stopped mid-sentence. "She's not going anywhere near that reincarnated piece of crap called Stephen or Zacharias or something."
"Zacharias?"
"Or whatever," the older Harry continued. "All I'm saying is, she's not allowed to go on a date unless one of her brothers is there to beat the crap out of him if he tries anything."
"How many sons do you—I have?" asked young Harry.
"Several," said older Ginny. "Well, two."
"Sounds better," said young Ginny, looking panicked.
"Sounds better?" said younger Hermione. "You know how many kids I have. Besides, you Weasleys multiply like rabbits."
"Only cause the girls can't keep their hands off us," said older Ron, leaning back seductively in his chair. This point seemed to be proved, as two young girls walked by and stared at him.
"I've never made a point in being attractive," said older Hermione. "There are worse things a girl could be than ugly."
"That's not what you said last night, dear," said older Ron.
"Like vile, pathetic, immature—"
"Once again, that's not what you said last night, dear," said older Ron again.
"You're so useless," said older Hermione, but she was fighting back a grin.
Younger and older Ginny, and younger and older Harry stared at them, disgusted. Ron and Hermione apparently hadn't changed a bit.
"Well, I'm going to bed," said older Ginny. "Harry."
Older Harry also said his goodnights and went up to their room in the Leaky Cauldron. Soon after, older Ron and Hermione followed, still arguing.
"Don't worry about it," Hermione said to her normal, seventeen year old friends. "They won't be arguing for long. Well, we won't. I guess."
"This is all so weird," said Ron.
"I'll say," said Harry.
"Well," said Ron, getting up from his chair and yawning. "I think I'm going to go up to bed now. Hermione? Join me?"
Hermione glared at him for no particular reason.
"Fine," she said.
Harry and Ginny were going up to their room when Harry suddenly heard a funny noise coming from the alley way out the window.
"Ginny?" he said. "Do you hear that?"
"Hear what?" she asked.
"That noise coming from outside?" he said. "It sounds like a dying cat or something—"
He pushed open the window and leaned outside, listening in the dark.
There was a definite screeching sound, but he did not know what it was. It sounded like a car, but...not, at the same time.
"What is that?" Ginny asked.
"I don't know," said Harry.
"Come on," she said. "Outside."
Harry and Ginny went out the door and around the corner, both too insanely curious for their own good. The squeaking sound continued, however, as they went into the alley way.
"Oh dear," said Ginny. "Harry, don't you recognize it? It's the Anglia."
"The flying Ford Anglia?" asked Harry. "It's...it's...shaking."
Ginny started to giggle.
"Where on Earth did they find it?" Ginny wondered, staring at it. The windows were foggy. "It's ancient..."
"HEY!" said a muffled, female voice. "WHO'S OUT THERE?"
Harry and Ginny shot each other a look. Someone rolled the window down.
"SEBASTIAN!" Ginny shrieked.
"JULIA!" Harry shouted.
"Oh, whoops," said Julia. "Hi...dad?"
"Get out of there this instant!" Harry yelled.
"Screw this," said Sebastian. "TEMPORE DESENDERE!"
Harry and Ginny barely had a moment to react before they both felt themselves being lifted off the ground and back into a whirlwind of time and space, falling and crashing until they finally landed, once more, in the empty alley way outside of the Leaky Cauldron.
"Heavens," said Ginny, picking herself back up. "What happened?"
"I don't know," said Harry. "But it can't be anything good."
"Where do you suppose he sent us?" she asked.
"No idea," he answered, looking around. "Come on."
Harry and Ginny both came around the corner once more and went to the door of the Leaky Cauldron. It was still dark out, of course.
"Oh, hello, Harry," said a familiar voice.
"Sirius?" Harry said, letting the door close behind him.
"ZE GRINDYLOWS!" a voice shouted, coming out of the kitchen. A girl with white blonde hair appeared.
"Gabrielle?" asked Ginny, looking confused.
"Why, hello 'Arry," she said. "Long time no see."
"Uh, yeah," he said.
"Sirius," said Ginny, watching as Gabrielle sat right back down next to Sirius, stroking his icy white hair. "Are you and Gabrielle...involved."
"No," said Sirius. "Not...technically. I'm tutoring her in Arithmancy."
"Sirius, you never took Arithmancy," said Harry.
"Yeah well, her professor doesn't know that does he?" asked Sirius, looking up from his paper briefly, only to look up again and stare at Ginny.
"Sirius?" she asked. "What's wrong?"
"Bun in the oven, sweetheart?" he asked.
"Yeah," she said dangerously.
"Harry, my man!" said Sirius, looking marginally more cheerful. "You and I are like peas in a pod, my friend."
"I happen to actually like Ginny," said Harry. "No offense, Gabrielle."
"None taken," she said.
"Me and Ginny are getting married," said Harry.
"Well, that's boring," said Sirius, looking glum. "But I guess you have to, now. Noble, or whatever."
"There's nothing wrong with marrying the girl you impregnated," said Ginny, glaring at him.
"Why do you think I'm single?" asked Sirius. "Anyway, so what's the name?"
Harry looked at Ginny.
"Julia, apparently," he said.
"Girl?"
"Obviously," Gabrielle hissed.
"Shush, Gabrielle," said Sirius. "You're not here for your additions to the conversation."
"I should dump you," said Gabrielle. "But I guess I'll spend some more of your money before I do that."
"Whatever makes your panties twist, dear," he said.
"Do you get the feeling that they're perfect for each other in spite of the fact that they're both assholes?" Ginny asked, leaning toward Harry.
"I guess you could say that," he said.
"Well, we're off to bed," said Sirius.
"Sirius, wait!" said Harry. "What year is it?"
"No idea," said Sirius. "Not sure. How long have I been dead?"
"No clue," said Harry glumly.
"Well, night," said Sirius, and he and Gabrielle went up to bed.
