It's been a while, I know, but I worked a ton on this one. Idea suggestion by Doomburger, so if this is any good, thanks to Doom, too.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bakugan.
Salt, Pepper, Bam...
"All I wanted was some salt and pepper!" Dan shouted, exasperated.
Pans flew threw the air, smashing against the walls and granite countertops. The oven's flames climbed higher and higher. Knives clattered to the floor. Foodstuffs lay discarded across the tiled floor.
2 hours earlier
"…So…have you guys heard the one about the chicken?" Dan asked tentatively, baring a huge grin to his friends, hoping to break the silence that had settled in Marucho's dining room. He was greeted with a whoosh of air from the open window overlooking the rest of the puny city.
The group shook their heads dejectedly, bored out of their minds and not even bothering to reply to their temperamental friend. "Neither have I," he sighed.
Julie mimicked his sigh, cradling her head in her hand while daydreaming about the day Billy would return from his adventures to sweep her off her feet. Alice, on the other hand, worried about her grandfather, whom she'd left alone in Moscow for this trip, all the while sneaking glances at the boy seated across from her and wondering what he was thinking. Said boy, known to everyone else as Shun, happened to be considering the easiest way to take out his own grandfather without anyone suspecting anything, although he did happen to casually look over at the redhead, pretending he didn't notice when her eyes strayed toward him. Marucho, their host, seemed at a loss as well, for once out of ideas as to what to do next.
The six guardian Bakugan lounged lazily in the decorative fruit bowl centered on the mahogany table, trying to figure out what exactly was so appealing about these "fake fruits." So far, no such luck. In fact, the Bakugan had just given up their quest, concluding that humans were "just plain weird," as Preyas put it.
The only two people actively engaged in something were Dan and Runo, who'd come to a silent agreement that dared the other to say something incredibly stupid to lighten the mood. Dan had taken the first step in making a joke, albeit a bad one. Now it was Runo's turn.
"Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding," she stated matter-of-factly, smirking when the others turned to look at her and cracked smiles.
Dan groaned. "Really, guys? A Chuck Norris joke? I could've come up with something better than that."
"Well, why didn't you, then?" Runo taunted.
"I will." Dan pondered quietly for a moment. "Okay, so a ninja is hiking in the woods for two hours, and then he rests for one hour. Three hours later he finds a pond where he bathes for four hours. Five hours later he finds a blocked mountain pass, and it takes him two hours to get past it…" He continued his story for five more minutes, until he suddenly exclaimed, "What time does he get home?"
His friends stared at each other for a moment, wondering whether to answer the question or go back to ignoring him.
"It's simple, really." Shun offered calmly. "I didn't go home."
Giggles burst from the others, eventually escalating into full-fledged laughter and eliciting a frown from the Pyrus Brawler. Leave it to Shun to burst Dan's bubble.
"But that's not the answer!" Dan protested, effectively silencing his friends. "…but it could be."
The group laughed again, a chorus of melodious giggles, deep chuckles, and hearty bellows. Dan grinned arrogantly, motioning for Runo to go next, although at this point, he figured he had it in the bag.
She grinned back. "What's brown and sticky?"
"I thought this was supposed to be a clean fight!" Dan accused, sending the others into a flurry of giggles.
Runo growled in response, eyeing the expensive-looking glass sculpture behind him and resisting the urge to shove him into it. "No fair, Kuso! It was my turn!"
"My eardrums!" He shouted playfully, clapping his hands over his ears before grinning cheekily and saying, "I know that when you yell at me, it means you love me."
A vicious snarl erupted from her throat, and she slammed her fists on the table, inadvertently knocking over the salt and pepper shakers strategically placed in the center of the large table. The others exchanged tired glances, already bored with their everlasting fights.
"Ha ha! You have bad lu—" the brunette paused mid-shout, his brow creasing with confusion. "Why are those shakers empty?"
"Dan, those shakers are merely decorative," Marucho chimed in.
"What! This is an outrage!" he cried, repeating Runo's action at the head of the table. "You can't have shakers without salt and pepper. I'm gonna find some salt, and you, Runo, will get bad luck."
He shoved away from the table dramatically, pushing his way through a set of swinging doors.
"Oh, no, you don't!" Runo stomped after him, and Alice soon broke the silence that had settled in the dining room.
"We should follow them. We wouldn't want them to do anything rash." With a shrug, the remaining Brawlers trailed after the short-tempered couple.
None of them, however, had noticed that the decorative fruit bowl had seemingly disappeared.
Well, not really, it had just been lowered through a secret compartment like something out of an action movie, taking all the Bakugan with it.
"It's the apocalypse! Run!" Preyas screamed, following his own advice and promptly running into Drago.
"Preyas, remain calm. I'll find the way out of here," the Dragonoid responded mightily, quickly taking control of the situation. He examined the darkness in vain. Nothing was distinguishable immediately, but once his eyes accustomed to the darkness, Drago saw a faint glimmer of light at a distance.
"Our best bet is to go in that direction," Drago decided, climbing out of the fruit bowl.
"You're not supposed to go to the light!"
"Oh, hush, Preyas." Tigrerra commanded. "Drago is the Ultimate Bakugan for a reason."
He sputtered indignantly for a second, rearing up for a comeback, but Gorem interrupted him.
"I think we should follow Drago. Once we reach the light we can form a new plan."
"Yes, that is definitely in our best interests," Skyress added, already ahead of the others.
"Hurry up!" Hydranoid called out, following her lead.
Preyas could only sigh dejectedly.
---
The spotless kitchen loomed ahead of the Brawlers, clean and orderly, just as Kato always kept it. Not a pot out of place. The granite countertops gleamed in the natural light raining down from ceiling, and the various stainless steel appliances reflected the glow, appearing ethereal. At first, they could only stare in awe at the amazing sight before them (except for Marucho, of course, since he's used to all that.)
"Okay now, where's the salt and pepper?" Dan pondered aloud, mentally rating each set of cabinets to decide which one was most likely to hold the spices.
His mahogany gaze settled on a glass cabinet directly across from him brimming with spices, food colorings, and other assorted kitchen-y items. A small plastic bottle caught his eye, reading the magic word: Salt. Dan allowed himself a smirk, before realizing that his destination looked to be about a thousand miles away. The wide, lengthy space stretched forward almost indefinitely.
Undeterred, he stepped forward, the others behind him, tentatively taking a step. A grinding sound was heard from the blender to his right. The diced remains of something particularly nasty erupted from the machine, coating the Brawlers.
"What is this?" Julie shrieked over the noise, while Marucho shoved Dan's foot off the trigger, which happened to be a loose tile.
Dan laughed nervously. "That was nothing, guys. Look, I see the salt and pepper over there."
"We should get out of here, you knucklehead!" Runo advised.
"I concur. Kato never lets anyone into his kitchen, most likely because he knows this place better than anyone."
"Please, Dan, listen to Runo for once," Alice pleaded, plucking some remains off her sweater.
Shun abstained from commenting, instead reclining against the oven. The furor escalated whilst he watched apathetically. Then, for once in his cold life, he felt warmth and not necessarily in the most appealing places. His back was on fire, and it wasn't until a loud beep sounded that he noticed the red hot range boiling over and a spark igniting. Acting quickly, he leaped forward, narrowly avoiding the flames that engulfed the oven, and pushing his friends forward.
It, however, was out of the oven and into the fire.
With a loud bam, Dan collided with the countertop, sending the numerous pans and utensils suspended overhead raining down on him. The rest of the Brawlers scattered, crashing into the opposite side of the kitchen where lavish knife sets dangled precariously above them. The impact sent them hurtling forward, and while everyone else jetted back toward Dan, Julie could only watch in awe for they were shiny. She reacted at the last minute, avoiding all but one knife which took a snippet of silver hair.
It wafted down slowly onto the ornate floor. With another shriek, she passed out.
Meanwhile, Runo crashed into Dan, hugging him romantically in the process.
"This is not the time to be cuddling!" Shun scolded, and rightly so because at that exact moment Alice opened a cabinet, trying to stay steady, but unleashing a flamethrower, which for some reason was installed inside of a kitchen.
The flames consumed the immediate area, catching a dazed Julie in the crossfire and singeing another piece of her hair and causing her to faint. Again.
Alice dove out of the flame's path, sending the stainless steal trashcan flying and releasing the half-decomposed remains of yesterday's meals. Dan feinted to the right, dragging Runo with him, but slipping on a banana peel.
"Holy crap, banana peel!" he shouted, sliding forward and pushing little Marucho into the wine rack settled on the countertop. It teetered dangerously before settling, that is until Shun leaned on the counter and brushed against the corks.
A flood of red wine spouted from the bottles, drenching Shun and Marucho and sending the lids ricocheting off the walls and appliances, all somehow only hitting Shun. Alice, trying to find a first aid kit, opened another drawer, releasing a flurry of silverware. They launched out of the drawer, some striking the ninja, and others reaching Dan. He tugged on a cabinet to stand and pulled it open, making canned goods cascade out and obstruct his path. Carefully guiding Runo through the maze of cans, he used his most potent voice, "Retreat, men!"
He ran into a corner, which was untouched by the mayhem, and the other soon joined him. He saw Julie lying unconscious, and Dan asked, "Should we go back?"
"No!" they shouted, abandoning the Subterra Brawler.
From the corner, they watched as the kitchen detonated with food and dangerous appliances. Everything flew through the air, and the once impeccable kitchen was now a shadow of its former self. Shun, noticing that one more item in the fray wouldn't make a difference, tossed in a shuriken for the heck of it. It sailed silently, and just as Julie awoke again, it embedded itself into the wall beside her, pinning her hair.
Eager to escape, she tugged, ripping out a sizeable chunk of silver locks, but at this point she didn't care, and she dare not faint again.
---
"A-are we there y-yet?" Preyas asked loudly, shivering from the sudden drop in temperature.
"Almost," Drago answered in his rumbling voice. "It shouldn't be too far."
"Easy for you to say," the Aquos Bakugan mumbled. "You're a Pyrus Bakugan."
Skyress and Tigrerra, being the only two females of the group, immersed themselves in the human equivalent of gossip, chatting about the latest products for keeping their spherical bodies in tip-top shape. Hydranoid and Gorem shared bored looks before rushing forward to restrain Drago from lashing out at Preyas in annoyance.
"Look, everyone! It's the exit!" Preyas shouted, elated. His coldness forgotten, he dashed into the light. "Hey, this isn't the exit!"
As soon as the others joined him, they realized how right he was. Food was stacked in storage units, ranging from liquids to solids to a mixture of both.
"Dan has one of these," Drago explained. "He calls it a re-frig-er-a-tor."
"Alice also owns such a device," Hyranoid said. "She uses it to store the dead remains of her victims." If they could have, the Bakugan would have quirked their eyebrows to accompany the silence that had settled. "Fine, she uses it to store 'food.'"
"Well, how do we escape from here?" Gorem asked.
"Someone has to open the door." Tigrerra responded.
"What is this?" Preyas asked himself, completely off topic. He prodded a white, fleshy item which was floating in a reddish liquid.
"I believe that is a chicken," Tigrerra answered, knowing from experience her at Runo's restaurant.
"Julie told me once that chickens are birds, like you, Skyress. And possibly Drago." Gorem piped in.
Skyress and Drago nodded in agreement, but slowly stopped as Gorem continued. "She also said that cats eat birds."
Realization dawned, and they slowly turned to stare at Tigrerra.
"What is it?" she asked. With a scream both Bakugan took off, weaving their way through the maze of food. Skyress took shelter behind a jar of jelly, and Drago ran in the opposite direction, running into a labyrinth of Swiss cheese.
Bam! Something crashed against the outside of the door, but it did not open, and from his view on top of the cheese, Drago could picture himself ruling over the Kingdom of the Refrigerator, that is, if they didn't get rescued.
---
Huddled in the corner of the kitchen, Dan could see no way out of this one. They were all going to die, and it was all his fault. Man, he was a jerk!
Suddenly, slow footsteps echoed in the hallway, and with bated breath, the Brawlers watched as Kato himself entered the kitchen, whistling a happy tune. He flicked a switch and the anarchy stopped abruptly. He stepped past the mess, not noticing it or the kids in the corner. Digging around in a cabinet for a specific tray, Kato located it and proceeded to leave the room. Just as Dan got ready to call out to him, Kato hit the switch again.
Then the blender started.
How was that? I think it turned out well, maybe, possibly…
Leave a review, please (even though I suck at updating frequently)! Oh, and in case you're wondering, a stick is brown and sticky XD
