Starting Forever

A/N- This is an AU Sybil/Branson story, it'll start sometime during the first season, but it will not follow the storyline of the show. I hope you like it.

A/N 2: I'm really sorry it's been so long, I've been working on some other writing projects, and my website . and I forgot about this story.

- - - - - - - - - 3

'All I'm saying,' Sybil sighs and presses a hand to her head, 'is that I don't believe things can be viewed as…simply as that.'

'But it is simple, it's worked this way for such a long time, so why bother messing things up?' James Grayson, a young man who'd been forced upon her as a conversation partner at the latest ball, speaks with such confidence and arrogance that it infuriates her.

'Just because something has been done for a long time doesn't make it right, times are changing, people are changing, and I truly believe that anyone unwilling to realize that will be left behind. Things won't stay like this forever.' Sybil replies firmly.

'You are sweet to think that way, but it's terribly naïve.'

'Don't speak to me as if I'm a child.' Sybil snaps, gaining the attention of nearby Mary, who leaves Matthew and hurries over.

'I do hope you're not falling out over something, not when the evening is still so young.' Mary puts on her best smile.

'Your sister is very spirited.' James laughs, 'Her views on woman's rights are seemingly very firm.'

'Oh yes, well that's something we've grown used to.' Mary replies, 'Though Sybil darling I hardly think it's appropriate conversation for a ball.'

'Then where am I permitted to talk about it? Because anywhere that it's deemed appropriate to talk about it, I'm not allowed to go to.'

'That's because Papa is concerned you'll chain yourself to some railings.' Mary replies lightly.

'I wouldn't put it past her.' James laughs.

'Well Mr Grayson, it's been…interesting talking to you, but if you'll excuse me.' Sybil smiles politely and heads towards the doors into the garden, her pace picking up as she steps into the cool night, her breathing heavy as she moves through the garden, along the gravel path until she reaches a secluded rose garden, where she finds a bench and sits down, her long blue gown draping on the floor.

'Darling are you alright?' Mary comes round into the garden and stands a little in front of her.

'I feel breathless.' Sybil says simply, staring up at the starry sky.

'It was rather crowded inside,' Mary nods, 'you know you really ought to start calling him James.'

'Why?'

'Oh darling don't be so naïve, surely you must know that he's expressed an interest in you.'

'I know he has.' Sybil replies, looking at Mary levelly, 'he proposed.'

'Oh darling, how wonderful.' Mary sits next to her sister and takes her hands, 'My baby sister married, and before Edith or I.'

'I said no.'

'You…Sybil?'

'I can't marry him Mary.'

'Why ever not, he's a perfect gentleman, good title, plenty of money.'

'I don't love him.' Sybil interrupts, 'Whatever attributes he has, I don't love him.'

'I wish I could understand you, you've been so down since we arrived here.'

'I just want to go home, I miss it.' Him she thinks silently, I miss him.

'Well we'll be back soon, you'd best be careful though, Granny will be incredibly upset when she learns you turned James down. Are you quite sure you couldn't love him?'

'Yes.' Sybil nods her head, 'Mary I,'

'There you are girls,' Cora smiles at the two of them, 'we've leaving early, your sister has a headache.'

'And that means we all have to stop enjoying ourselves?' Mary rolls her eyes, 'Can't we stay?'

'I'm ready to leave.' Sybil says quickly, 'I have a bit of a headache as well.'

'That's settled then.' Cora smiles warmly, turning to Mary, 'There will be other parties.'

( - )

Sybil pulls back the covers and climbs into bed, her hair falling softly down over her shoulders. She picks up the stack of letters she keeps hidden under her mattress, and then picks up her own fresh piece of paper, and her pen.

Tom,

In answer to the question in your last letter, I have to admit that I'm not having a nice time. It's strange really, all my life I've been in this world, attending the parties and dinners, dancing and smiling, belonging. Now though, I don't know, as I've grown older it feels as if I've had my eyes opened up to a whole new world, what now to me feels like the real world, and all of this, the finery and rules, it all feels wrong.

I should be enjoying my first season, my sisters certainly did, and yet I feel as though I shouldn't be here. I feel suffocated. I'm changed and I can't ever go back.

I miss Downton terribly, and yes that includes you. I wish I could say that things have changed, I hate to hurt you and I know each time I write this it does hurt you, but I can't go against my family. I love my family, and whatever you think I feel whatever I do feel. I can't hurt them.

It's a terrible mess I know, I can only hope that you understand. I scarcely understand it myself. All I know is that James Grayson asked me to marry him, and I said no.

I should go, it's late and I'm tired.

Five days, just five more days and I'll be back.

( - )

The day before they leave to return to Downton, Sybil finds waiting for her another letter, her heart skips a beat as it always does, she picks it up from the tray and is about to excuse herself, but before she can Edith speaks.

'You've been getting a lot of letters.' Edith says eyeing her carefully, 'Anyone special?'

'A friend.' Sybil replies, acutely aware that Mary and her father are now watching her.

'It must be a close friend, that's the third letter this week.' Mary says suspiciously.

'They're not necessarily all from the same person.' Sybil points out, clutching the letter a little tighter, 'Papa may I be excused please?'

'Very well.' Robert nods, still displeased with her for turning down James' proposal.

'Thank you.' Sybil gets to her feet and practically runs to her room, dropping down onto the bed and opening the letter carefully.

My darling Sybil,

I cannot tell you how happy I am to hear you turned that James fellow down, I know you don't want to go against your family, but reading those words gave me hope.

Things here are about the same, quieter but ticking along. It's starting to get busier again, which fills me with excitement, because I know it means you'll be home soon. I should warn you, Gwen has been interviewing, so there's a high chance she'll be leaving soon, I'm certain she wouldn't mind you knowing that, since you've been so kind helping her.

You have a kind heart Sybil, one so full of love. I can only hope that one day you may honour me with some of that love.

I'll see you before you have a chance to write a response; I'm to pick you up at the station.

I've missed you so much my darling.

Yours,

Tom

Sybil runs her hands over his writing, and then holds the letter close to her chest, closing her eyes, she lies on her back and rests the letter on her stomach, keeping her eyes closed. She doesn't move until she feels the paper moving, her eyes fly open and she sees Mary looking at the page, which is now in her hand.

'Mary that's mine!'

'Tom?' Mary holds the letter away from her sister, 'Who's Tom?' Mary reads the rest of the letter.

'It's private.'

'I'm worried about you, everyone is, and I have a feeling this is the source of your low mood, I only want to…' She trails off, her eyes meeting Sybil's.

'Mary please,'

'Tom Branson?' Mary chokes out, 'He's the one who's been writing to you?'

'Mary please,' Sybil repeats.

'My darling Sybil? That's how he addresses his letters, oh Sybil.'

'Nothing's happened.'

'I should hope not!' Mary shakes her head, dropping the letter onto the bed.

'All of the letters you've received while we've been here, they've all been from him?'

'Yes.'

'He's certainly persistent; surely when you didn't write back he got the message.' Mary sighs, Sybil looks at her, she thinks the letters are only on his side, that the attachment is only on his side, Sybil thinks quickly knowing it's better to keep it that way.

'It's harmless, please don't tell anyone.' Sybil begs, 'I wouldn't want him to lose his position over a few letters.'

'He should lose his position, Sybil this can't keep happening.'

'Please don't tell anyone.'

'Very well, but as soon as we're home I'm going to speak with him, make sure he knows this…this attachment has to be broken.'

'No!' Sybil shouts, 'No I mean…I should do it, I'll talk to him.'

'Sybil you don't have to.'

'I can handle it Mary.' Sybil says firmly.

'Well if you insist.' Mary replies turning to leave, stopping at the last moment, 'You promise nothing has happened?'

'I promise.'

'Alright then, so long as nothing does happen I'll stay quiet.' Mary replies, stepping out of the room.

( - )

Sybil's been worried the entire journey home, it wouldn't have been half as bad if Mary had gone in the other car, but Mary had made a point of getting in the car driven by Branson, and had tried to get Sybil to go in another car, a plan which had failed because Edith and Mary had fallen into another spat, and so Cora had insisted they ride in separate cars, leaving no room for Sybil in the second car. So now Sybil, Mary and Branson were all sharing a silent ride back to the house.

When they finally pull up to the house, Mary gets out of the car glaring at Branson, and then as she turns and sees Branson holding Sybil's hand to help her down, she comes back over to her sister.

'Talk to him, make sure he knows he has to stop.' Mary whispers, Sybil just nods and remains outside with Branson, as Mary heads inside.

'Is everything alright milady?' Branson asks, knowing better than to call her Sybil when her family are still around.

'Everything's fine…only I…I wonder if I could talk to you?' Sybil says quietly.

'Of course.' Branson nods his head, getting back into the car, 'Meet me in the garage?'

'Alright.' She nods and starts walking slowly towards the garage. He beats her there since he was in the car, and she had to take a long route to make it appear as though she were going for a walk around the grounds.

As she steps inside the garage, spotting Branson waiting for her, leaning against the car with his jacket off, and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up, her heart starts pounding, and she runs to him, letting him hold her in his arms.

'I've missed you.' Sybil cries, her tears soaking into his shirt.

'Hey what's this? Don't cry on my behalf.' Branson holds her a little tighter, 'You're home now.'

'Mary read your letter.'

'What?' He stiffens and pulls away from her.

'I tried to stop her, but the last letter you sent, she read it.'

'Oh, well that's me finished then.' Branson says bitterly, 'I'd gladly throw all of this away for you, but I don't suppose that's the case.'

'Tom…she won't tell anyone, she…she doesn't know that I've been writing back, she thinks that you've developed an attachment to me,'

'She'd be right.'

'And…and she said I need to tell you to stop talking to me in that way, in writing or out loud.'

'I see, and you?'

'What about me?'

'Do you want me to stop telling you how I feel about you?'

'I…' She looks up at him, reaching out one hand and playing with the collar of his shirt, 'I don't know what I want.'

'Sybil I know it will be hard, but I love you and I know you love me too, I can't give you the life you're used to, but I promise I'll do everything in my power to make you happy. If your family cast you off, it won't be forever, they'll come around, and until they do you'll have me. Start a life with me?'

'Tom,' she pulls her hand away from his collar, 'I'm terribly flattered.'

'Don't,' he snaps, 'I think we're past terms like terribly flattered.'

'You're asking a lot, you're asking me to give up my family, my friends, my life!'

'Your life?' He looks at her with a wounded expression, 'Being with me would be throwing your life away?'

'I didn't mean it like that, Tom truly I didn't.' Sybil reaches out for him again, this time her hand brushes his cheek. 'I don't know if I can give up my family so easily. I…I need some time, will you wait?'

'I'd wait forever for you.' He says honestly.

'I'm not asking for forever, just a little more time.' She smiles up at him.

'What will you tell Mary?'

'I'll tell her what she wants to hear, that you've apologised and agreed to stop.' Sybil looks down at the ground, 'Now, tell me what you've been doing with yourself while I've been away.'

A/N- I hope you enjoyed it, please comment and tell me what you think.