Chapter 9: Where the loyalties lie
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"This isn't happening. This can't be happening. This is all too much. I need to go", Lucas whispered, and without another word, he nearly bolted out of the room leaving a stunned Peyton behind.
"What happened?" Brooke gasped as she ran in the living room a minute later, right after seeing Lucas bolt out of the front door at top speed.
"I told him and he ran. Are you happy now?" Peyton whispered as she collapsed on the sofa and cried long and hard. But this time, she wasn't crying for herself. This time she was crying for her daughter and what she'll have to face once this comes to light.
I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
I'm hearin what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...
"Mom, where are you?" Lucas screamed as he slammed the front door shut behind him. He didn't know how he had managed to drive after what just happened less than 10 minutes ago, but the important thing was that despite breaking every traffic rule ever invented, he had made it home in one piece.
"In my room, and can you please lower you voice, Lily is sleeping", Karen replied back in a much lower voice.
Huffing slightly, Lucas quickly made his way to the master bedroom.
"Mom will you please put down that damn book? I need too talk to you", Lucas snapped as he entered his mom's room and found her completely engrossed in a '80s novel.
"What's got you so upset?" Karen asked surprised, looking at Lucas' furious face.
"The fact that everyone's been lying to me for the past 3 years", Lucas spat out angrily.
"What are you talking about?" Karen asked feigning innocence.
"Don't pretend like you don't know. I can't believe that you would keep something so big from me for all these years", Lucas said, hurt and anger laced in his voice.
"Did Peyton tell you?" Karen asked softly.
"I overheard her and Brooke talking", Lucas replied tiredly.
"Lucas I—"
"And I asked you. I asked you if Allison was my daughter. You said no. You lied to me. You lied to me about the biggest truth of my life. Why the hell would you do that?" Lucas demanded furiously.
"It wasn't my place to tell you Lucas. I had promised Peyton that I wouldn't tell", Karen explained gently.
But Lucas didn't care about trivial things such as loyalties right now. He was sick and tired of all the lies and deception that had been surrounding him ever since he came here. Right now, he didn't care that the woman sitting in front of him was his mom or not, to him she was the woman who had lied to him about the biggest truth of his life.
"So your word to Peyton was more important than you telling me the fact that I am a father?" Lucas asked incredulously.
"Lucas we were all trying to convince Peyton to tell you the truth", Karen tried.
"Oh yeah, that worked out really nicely", Lucas said sarcastically.
"She was scared Lucas", Karen explained patiently.
"She was scared. But what about the rest of you? All of you knew that Allison was my daughter, why didn't anyone say anything?" Lucas asked sharply.
"Because it wasn't our place to tell", Karen replied, starting to get frustrated. "When Allison was born, Peyton made all of us promise that we won't tell you. Peyton and Allison mean a lot to us, and none of us could imagine betraying her like that".
"And what about betraying me? None of you thought for a minute how I would feel once I found out about this?" Lucas asked.
"You were in NY. You married Lindsay knowing that along the way you were crushing Peyton in the worst way possible. Her feelings weren't exactly hidden from you. And then once she had given up any hope for the two of you, you go and sleep with her only to get married to Lindsay a week later. And to top off her misery, she finds out a month later that she is pregnant with a child whose father doesn't want to have anything to do with her. Can you even imagine what Peyton had gone through? Sure what she did was wrong to a certain degree, but what would you have done if you were in her position Lucas?" Karen asked angrily, having had enough of Lucas' attitude. Lucas was her son, but he was seriously pissing her off right now. She had had enough of him taking things for granted. It was about time he's given a reality check.
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Lucas blinked at his mother's last question. What would he have done if he had been in Peyton's position? He had spent the past three years pitying himself. He had never thought that Peyton might have been going through the same emotions, if not worse. He had crushed her heart time after time and yet she had always been there for him. He was the one who had gone to her studio that night and practically assaulted her. It was his desire for her that had won in the end. Only Peyton could ignite emotions so strong and at the same time rash in him. He closed his eyes and for the first time since he had come back to Tree Hill, he let himself really think back to that night. That night that had changed everything. That night which was the best and worst of his life. That one night that gave him the best gift of his life.
I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
But it's nothin new
I loved you with a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...
--Flashback—
Lucas Scott was sitting in his car staring at Peyton's office window like he had done so many times before in the past couple of weeks. But today was different. Today he wanted to do more than just gaze at that window. Today he wanted her, needed her. He wanted her to give him the comfort only she knew how to give.
Her office lights were still on, and despite it being 10 o' clock at night, it didn't surprise him. He had overheard Brooke telling Haley that Peyton was spending as much time as possible in her office to avoid 'their situation'.
Lucas hadn't seen or heard from her ever since that day in the gym when she had told him that she was going to let him go. And despite what he had told himself and everyone else around him, he missed her. He knew this was wrong, his feeling for her were wrong. He was marrying another woman for god's sake. He wasn't supposed to lie awake at night wishing that she was the woman next to her instead of her fiancée. His heart wasn't supposed to start racing at the mere mention of her. He wasn't supposed to feel like his life was over when she told him that she was going to sacrifice her love for him just so he could be happy.
He hadn't seen her in so long that he actually starting to crave her presence. Her one look, one smile was enough to keep him smiling for the rest of the day. She had just a strong grip on him, and she didn't even know about it. She was his drug, and he was so addicted to her it was scary at times.
Without thinking, Lucas got out from the car. Slamming the door behind him, he locked the car and made his way towards the building where her office was located.
Running up the stairs taking two steps at a time, Lucas found himself in front of her office door in less than 2 minutes, completely out of breath.
Taking a couple of seconds to compose himself, Lucas raised his hand and quietly knocked the door once.
He could hear the shuffling of papers and the sound of a chair scraping the floor. Lucas felt his heart beat raise as he heard her footsteps moving towards the door. Any second now they'll be face to face.
"Lucas?" Peyton asked surprised as she looked at the man standing on the other side of the door. Of all the people she was expecting, Lucas was the last one on that list.
"Peyton", Lucas whispered, taking his time to look at her. She was wearing a mid length brown skirt that gave him a good look at her gorgeous, long legs, and a white tank top that showed just the right amount of cleavage. Her hair was up in a messy pony tail and she was wearing casual flip flops on her feet. As his eyes went to her face, he realized just how tired she looked. She had dark circles under her eyes and her eyes were a little red as if she had been crying. But despite all that, she had never looked more beautiful to him.
"Why are you here Lucas?" Peyton asked quietly, avoiding his intense gaze.
"I miss you Peyt", Lucas answered honestly.
"Don't do this Lucas. I am not strong enough for this", Peyton whispered quietly, her voice breaking a little.
"Please Peyton", Lucas pleaded, for what he wasn't entirely sure.
"You should go Lucas. Lindsay won't like you being here", Peyton said stubbornly as she made to close the door. But Lucas wasn't having nay of it. He had just gotten a chance to corner her after weeks, and he wasn't going to let it go that easily. He didn't know why he cared so much, but what he did know was that he needed to talk to her.
"I don't give a damn what Lindsay thinks", Lucas said as he pushed open the door and walked inside her dim office despite her protest.
"You can't keep doing this to me Lucas. You made your decision, and I moved out of the way so that you could get your happy ending. All I need from you is that you stick to your choice and please leave me alone", Peyton begged, her eyes shining with unshed tears.
"Just because I am getting married doesn't mean that we can't be friends Peyton. We used to be friends before we were lovers", Lucas said pleadingly. Why couldn't she see how much he needed her in his life?
"We were never just friends Luke. And I can't be your friend. I can't watch you be with some other woman knowing that I could have had all that with you. I can't do it", Peyton said, her vivid green eyes shining with sadness.
"I had a horrible day today", Lucas said suddenly.
"Excuse me?" Peyton asked confused. Where had that come from?
"I spent the whole day finalizing wedding preparations with Lindsay, and it was horrible", Lucas confessed, not knowing where exactly he was going with this conversation. All he knew was that this was a foolproof way to keep Peyton's attention.
"Well you are getting married. The preparation just comes with it", Peyton said softly, her heart constricting in pain as she once again realized that she had lost Lucas for good.
"Doesn't mean I have to like it", Lucas grumbled playfully.
"What are you doing Lucas?" Peyton asked tiredly seeing through his charade.
"Trying to make conversation", Lucas replied seriously.
"I don't think this is a good idea", Peyton muttered.
"Why not? Do you hate me so much that you can't even stand to be in the same room as me?" Lucas asked aggravated.
"I don't hate you Lucas. I can't hate you. I should hate you for the way you have fucked up my life, but I don't. But I can't be around you either. Not yet. It hurts too much", Peyton said softly, warm tears rolling down her face.
"Let me stop the hurt then", Lucas said quietly as he took a couple of steps in her direction.
"I don't think that's possible", Peyton whispered thickly, her eyes still on the floor. Had she looked up, she would have seen Lucas progressing towards her. Had she looked up, she would have stopped him, and then things wouldn't have spiraled out of control. But she didn't look up till it was too late, because by the time she looked up, things were out of her control.
"You don't know that", Lucas breathed into her hair as Peyton gasped. He was standing right in front of her. There was barely a foot's distance between them and it was doing wonders to Peyton's heart. As her head snapped up at their closeness, she found herself staring in Lucas's intense blue eyes. He was gazing at her face hungrily and she could just feel the lust radiating from him.
"What are you doing Lucas?" she breathed out, her heart beating a mile a minute just by the way he was looking at her.
"I don't know", Lucas answered honestly, just as affected by their closeness. He was so close to her that he just had to lean his head a couple of inches and he would be kissing her. All rational thoughts had left his head, and he was now thinking from his heart rather than his brain. And at this moment, the only thing his heart wanted was the woman standing in front of him. All he wanted right now was Peyton.
"Are you drunk Lucas?" Peyton asked hesitantly as she took a step backward only to run into the cold brick wall. Damn.
"Do I sound drunk? Do I smell drunk?" Lucas asked, smirking at her obvious uncomfortableness.
"Lucas move", Peyton said, trying to sound strong, but failing miserably as Lucas started to run his finger up and down her naked arms.
She was completely trapped. Behind her was the hardness of the wall and in front of her was the hardness of Lucas. There was no way out.
"What were you saying Peyton?" Lucas asked as his finger roamed across her neck.
Peyton felt as if her skin was on fire as Lucas' finger skimmed through the slightly exposed skin of her back. God, the hold this man had on her was ridiculous.
"Lucas, we shouldn't—" Peyton started, but was interrupted as Lucas soft lips claimed her own. Peyton felt all coherent thoughts run out of her head as Lucas lips fiercely moved on top of hers. Peyton felt his tongue begging for entrance and happily obliged.
Lucas heard Peyton moan and couldn't help but feel elated knowing that only he could incite such feelings from her. When air became an issue, Lucas surfaced from their mind blowing kiss and immediately attacked her neck, leaving open-mouthed kisses all across her naked skin. Stopping at the hollow of her neck, Lucas softly bit down on the soft skin as Peyton moaned loudly from underneath him.
Peyton felt herself losing in Lucas's hot kisses. She felt desire bubble in the pit of her stomach and knew that if she didn't stop him now, she won't be able to do so later.
Even though this was what she had wanted for so long, Peyton knew that this was wrong. He was engaged for god's sake. They weren't supposed to be doing this.
Gaining a little control of herself, Peyton pushed Lucas off herself who staggered backwards at the sudden movement.
"What the hell Peyton?" Lucas asked angrily, his eyes clouded with lust.
"No, what the hell are you doing Lucas?" Peyton asked angrily, trying to regain control of her breathing, "You are engaged! We aren't supposed to be doing this".
"For once, let's just think with our heart instead of our brains", Lucas whispered as he attacked her neck once again.
"This is wrong Lucas", Peyton whispered, moaning softly as Lucas' mouth found her sensitive spot behind her ear.
"Since when has that stopped us before?" Lucas breathed, and he pushed the left strap on Peyton's tank top down her shoulder, showering her arms with feather light kisses.
And that was all Peyton needed before her resolve broke. There was only enough torture a woman can take. Pulling him up by his hair, she quickly covered his mouth with her own, groaning as he quickly shoved his tongue in her mouth, taking his time to explore every crevice of her mouth.
Her hand moved from his waist and went under the fitted grey shirt he was wearing. Taking the hint, Lucas untangled himself from the kiss and quickly took his shirt off throwing it behind his shoulder. He felt Peyton run her slim fingers down his strong, muscled chest and couldn't help groaning in delight at the feelings her fingers were stirring in him. This was it. The point of no return. They both knew that if they didn't stop now, things would end in a disaster. But in that moment, they were so lost in each other that neither of them could bring themselves to care.
Clothes were discarded quickly, and Lucas all but carried Peyton to her desk. With a swipe of his hand, all the papers and books fell from the desk and onto the floor, leaving a clear space for Lucas to set Peyton down.
"Do you think this desk is strong enough for the both of us?" Lucas asked huskily.
"I think so", Peyton breathed out as Lucas' hand roamed all around her body, making it really hard for her to think rationally.
"I love you Peyton", Lucas whispered a minute later, as he surfaced from another breathtaking kiss.
"I love you too, Luke. I always have and always will. Nothing will change that", Peyton whispered back looking Lucas right in the eyes, and Lucas could easily see all the love reflecting in her green orbs.
Nodding slightly at her words, Lucas took her mouth into another searing kiss as he carefully positioned himself on top of her…
½ an hour later, Peyton and Lucas lay panting on the tiny desk. The sex was amazing. Neither had felt so alive as they did in that instance. Peyton felt as if the world had suddenly righted itself, as if her life was finally fulfilled again. She was basking in the after effects of the past 30 minutes when she left Lucas' body moving from on top of her.
"Lucas?" Peyton asked groggily.
"This wasn't supposed to happen. Just forget about it. It was a mistake", Lucas whispered as he quickly put back his clothes, unable to look Peyton in the eye. He knew that this would crush her, but he knew that there was no other way out of this situation either. Chancing a brief look at Peyton's face, his heart broke into a million pieces as he saw the lost and heartbroken look on her face.
Mumbling an incoherent apology, he walked to the door and without a second glance backwards, he was gone.
--End Flashback—
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
Lucas was snapped out of her reverie as he felt a fist collide with his face and he felt himself fall backwards at the force of the unseen attack.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Lucas asked confused, as he looked up to see the furious face of his brother glaring down on him.
"No,what the hell do you think you're doing?" Nathan shot back furiously, his usually calm cobalt eyes glaring daggers at the fallen form of his brother.
"What are you talking about?" Lucas questioned irritated, slowly getting up and rubbing his already bruising face.
"Don't play dumb with me Lucas Scott. Brooke just called me", Nathan spat as Lucas winced at the harsh tone of his brother's voice.
"What's going on Nathan?" Karen asked surprised as he looked between the two brothers.
"Peyton told him the truth and he ran away", Nathan said disgustedly, pointing accusingly at Lucas.
"What?" Karen whispered, staring at her son as if he had grown another head. When Lucas had come barging in her room, she had thought that he had merely overheard Brooke and Peyton's conversation and had left without confronting either of them. She wouldn't have thought in her wildest dream that her son had actually run out after Peyton herself had actually confessed the truth to him.
"What the hell was I supposed to do?" Lucas asked angrily.
"You were supposed to be a man enough to say and listen to her", Nathan answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"It's easy for you to say that. You have no idea how I felt—"
"And what about how Peyton felt? Have you even considered how your actions would have impacted Peyton or your daughter? Do you ever think of anyone other than yourself?" Nathan accused, disgusted at the way her brother had acted.
"I—" Lucas trailed off, not knowing how to answer his brother's accusations.
"I thought so", Nathan replied grimly, "How long are you going to keep hurting her Lucas?"
"I didn't mean to hurt her", Lucas said lamely.
"Oh really? I am pretty sure you thought that running away would save her tons of heartbreak", Nathan said sarcastically. "And the sad thing is that this time it's not only Peyton's heart that's at stake here. It's your daughter's heart too. It's ironic really".
"What's ironic?" Lucas asked distractedly.
"The fact that you have always worked so hard not be like Dan, and with this decision, you have turned every bit like him. You not being here for Allison for the past three years is acceptable because you didn't know about her. But what you're doing right now is unforgivable, because now you know that you're her father. You're nothing but a coward Lucas Scott, a coward that is turning into a man he had always promised not to become. If you run away now, people will be talking about you like they had talked about Dan in the last 20 years. And most importantly, if you run away right now, you're not the person I had expected you to be", Nathan said, and with that he turned on his heels and stalked out of the room leaving a stunned Lucas behind.
It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
It's too late to apologize, yeah
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holdin on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground...
Song: Apologize- One Republic ft. Timbaland
A/N: Wow this chapter came out to be completely different than what I had expected you to be. The flashback was so not part of the original plot, but I thought it would add to the chapter. I absolutely SUCK at writing sex scenes so I don't know how effective the flashback is, but I certainly hope I portrayed the emotions well enough which was my ultimate goal anyways.
I really wasn't intending to update a chapter today, but I got a decent amount of reviews last chapter, so I decided to post this chapter! So I certainly hope you enjoyed the quick update!
Also, thank you so much for your reviews for last chapter! I love each and everyone who took out the time to tell me what they thought about the chapter, even though it was considerably small by my standards.
So just as a further notice, tomorrow is the last day of my thanksgiving break, so if I get enough persuasion (cough cough) you might just find another update tomorrow ;). So keep those wonderful reviews coming and tell me what you thought of this chapter, especially the flashback because I am not sure if it was any good or not!
Highlights for next chapter: Lucas comes to his senses, and tries to make things right with Peyton. This obviously results in much more screaming, tears and loads of drama (I am so excited about the whole argument). Peyton makes a deal with Lucas before he is allowed to see Allison (any thoughts?). And finally, Lindsay comes back at the end of last chapter with a major cliff hanger! So excited yet?!?! I sure am. I am gonna have a great time writing this chapter…so keep those reviews coming!
So now that I am done with my long rambling, I hope you liked the chapter and please, please, REVIEW.
P.S: I hope you liked the scene where Nathan punched Lucas, because I sure loved it. That punch was sooo long over due =]
