Chapter 9

"Morning mei-mei how are you today?" Simon asked as he found his sister laying on a large rock near the river. When River turned around Simon saw that she was crying.

"Hey River what's the matter?" Simon asked and climbed up to sit next to her on the rock.

"You know you can talk to me about anything right? Maybe if you tell me why you're crying you'll feel better." Simon prodded.

"It's a conflict. She must tell but telling will be painful. She shouldn't have kept the secret for so long, but wants to go on keeping it anyway." River said quietly.

"Well what secret is that? You can tell me."

"You'll be angry and scared. But you're the father, you have to know." River continued.

"Wait is the secret about the baby? Is something wrong with her?" Simon asked immediately concerned.

River didn't answer but leaned her head to the side and got the far off look on her face that she always had when she was reading. A minute later under her breath she muttered, "She knows."

"River please if some things wrong with the baby you have to tell me what it is." Simon said sounding desperate.

"River reads the baby." River simply said as way of an explanation.

Simon groaned in frustration. "I know you read her River that's not a secret, tell me what the secret is."

"River reads the baby and the baby reads her back." River said.

Simon thought about this for a moment before it really sunk in. "Wait are you telling me that the baby is a reader like you? She can do what you do?"

River nodded her head and replied, "It's the genes, Simon and River both have them, Simon passed them to his offspring. It's carried on the X chromosome stronger in females than in males. You think I'm the only one, but he reads and doesn't know it."

Simon tried to let this sink in, but it was too much. He kept picturing his daughter broken like River; being in constant pain because of people's thoughts, screaming from the nightmares of others, and speaking in frustrated riddles desperately trying to be understood but so rarely having it happen.

"Don't worry, you think she'll be broken like River, but she won't be. The hands of blue won't find her, her parents won't let that happen, they love her too much."

Simon heard the sadness in River's voice and knew that she wished her parents had protected her like Simon knew he and Kaylee would do for their child. A fresh wave of anger towards his parents passed over Simon and he saw River stiffen and turn away from him, he took a deep breath and tried to calm the emotions that he knew were hurting his sister. Simon tried to hug River but she pulled away, he then remembered how she had rarely let anyone touch her before the medicine. They sat quietly for a few minutes both lost in thought when suddenly something occurred to Simon and he sat up quickly.

"Wait what did you mean when you said he reads and doesn't know it? You mean me? I'm not a reader; I've never been able to do that. I never know what anyone is thinking or feeling."

"Simon reads, but doesn't want to so he pretends. He goes against instinct to appear normal, probably would be happier if he didn't." River stared up into the blue sky and didn't seem concerned at all with the fact that her brother was psychic.

Simon had no clue what to think of that, he honestly couldn't think of any instance when he had ever read anyone. "River I know you're usually right about this stuff, but I don't think I'm a reader. I mean wouldn't I have shown some sign of that by now?"

River gave Simon a condescending smile and smacked him gently on the arm.

"Simon you are such a boob! You lie to yourself. Dr. Connors knew. You were her student and she pulled you into the hall one day and said, 'Simon you have a gift, you are the most promising intern I've ever had under my direction. Your skills in surgery are years ahead of where they should be. It almost seems precognitive the way you react to a patient's needs.'"

Simon looked over in shock at his sister and said, "That's why I'm a good surgeon? Because I read my patients?"

River stared at her brother in confusion. She couldn't understand why he would be upset about this. He had a natural gift that allowed him to help people in a way that most other doctors could never do. River shook her head and replied, "You're distress is not logical. You are able to see danger for your patients before it happens, you can make decisions that save people who should die but don't. Why is this upsetting?"

Simon thought for a moment, but honestly couldn't come up with an answer that actually made sense. Maybe it was just his pride thinking that his superior skills in surgery were all natural talent, but what was reading if not a natural talent?

"So I'm a reader too huh? How come you never told me before?" Simon asked.

"You didn't need to know before, but now she will read too and it will help if her father can share this with her." River said and began to rub her head like she had a headache.

"Umm…" Simon started to speak, but thought that with River's current mind state maybe his request wasn't the most appropriate.

River smiled widely though and clapped her hands.

"So now her brother wants her help to be like her. The irony is not lost on her." River said and laughed.

"Damn!" Simon thought, sometimes he really hated his sister knowing his thoughts.

"She knows you hate it, but can't be helped in the current situation." River said immensely enjoying his annoyance.

"Well we could go around like this all day, but since you got it out of my head I'll go ahead and just ask. Can you help me learn how to be a reader? Tell me what you do, maybe?" Simon asked feeling unbelievably uncomfortable. He had spent the past two years trying to fix her mind and now he wanted to make his more like hers. The irony wasn't lost on him either.

River sat up and looked straight into her brother's eyes and then leaned forward until their foreheads were pressed together. She stayed this way for a few seconds; sighed, pulled away, and lay back down.

"You have to let the thoughts in. Your mind is guarded and crowded with worry. Your own thoughts will always be louder than those of others, must learn to turn yours down." River explained.

"How am I supposed to do that?" Simon asked.

River gave him another exasperated expression and said, "Simon you must start saying what you think, especially when talking to someone who knows what you think. It is so frustrating when you think one thing but say another!"

"What do you mean? I wasn't thinking anything else." Simon denied.

"You think if you let your guard down and allow the thoughts of others in that it will be painful, make you crazy like your poor mei-mei." River said softly. Simon felt ashamed, but didn't try to deny what River said.

"Don't worry the blue hands didn't tear down your walls." River assured him acting like he should completely understand her meaning.

"What walls? I don't get it." Simon said.

"Reading is like climbing up a wall and looking into someone else's yard. You still have the wall to separate your yard from theirs. The blue hands tore down my wall, no more privacy, no way to stop the neighbors from coming over." River explained and this was one of the times when Simon actually understood her metaphor. He leaned over to hug his sister and this time she actually let him.

"Just try to calm the thoughts in your head, breath and try not to think." River instructed. Simon took a deep breath and tried to empty his mind of conscious thought. He and River were now sitting face to face on the rock with their legs crossed and Simon thought that the situation was like meditating.

"Don't think its like meditating, just meditate." River told him without opening her eyes. Simon took another deep breath and tried harder to empty his mind.

"Don't try either, just relax and let your mind open. Its not an action its a release." River replied

Simon sat for a few more minutes and finally began to relax when suddenly the image of the garden from his childhood home on Osiris popped into his mind with startling clarity. As soon as the image entered his mind a blinding red-hot pain pierced through his skull making him cry out and clutch his hands to his head.

"Hùnzhàng! Oww what the hell?" Simon yelled.

"It is painful when another's thoughts enter the mind." River said simply.

"I get that now, you could have warned me." Simon muttered.

"If you had known there was pain you would have concentrated on that. Wouldn't have worked."

"Does it always hurt like that when you read?" Simon asked suddenly much more concerned for his sister than he had been in a long time.

"One becomes acoustmed to it after practice, although it is never comfortable, foreign thoughts in the mind." River explained. "I was directing to you, it may have made it more unpleasant, but you just weren't getting it on your own."

"You really are a brat, you know that right?" Simon said in an exhasperated tone.

She nodded her head and smiled. "Maybe a brat, but she helps."

"So now what do I do? With reading I mean." Simon asked.

"Just try and keep your mind clear, don't think about it, it is instinct. Once your mind is open it will happen. Once you can get them you can choose what to hear." River explained.

"This is just weird me being a…" Simon started to say but stopped when River stood up quickly and looked around frantically.

She jumped down from the rock and landed gracefully. "We have to go!" She shouted and began running towards the ship.

Simon stood confused for a second until River looked over her shoulder and shouted one word back to him, "Kaylee!"

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Translations

Hunzhang: Son of a bitch

Mei-mei: little sister