Enjoy! ^_^

By the way, this chapter will have some flashbacks in italics, so I'm going to put actual thoughts into quote marks; I hope it doesn't confuse anyone.

Finally, Neah doesn't have the power to actual control minds, but he can go into people minds and drop little thoughts and suggestions in there (like a little devil on your shoulder)


Chapter 9

The silence was deafening in Komui's office, his quiet cough breaking the silence.

"Is everyone clear? You're mission is to go and gather more information about Marian Cross' disappearance. There have been numerous rumours and apparent sighting spreading worldwide, all of which are sky-rocketing in number with each passing day. We'd assumed it impossible before, as the amount of blood left behind in the temporary base – and the abandoned innocence – indicated his death. But now there are several possible reasons as to why these rumours started, but Central have decided that the chance of him being alive (even after all this time) is big enough to be investigated further. You'll be leaving in a two week's time, so use that time to prepare well. Allen, Kanda, I'm sorry that you're being sent on a mission so soon. But Allen, you're the closest thing we have to Cross right now, and Kanda, you're abilities are more suited to fight against the Noah Clan. Next to my darling Lenalee's of course."

"It's fine..." Allen mumbled an almost inaudible reply, gritting his teeth as a familiar laugh began to ring in his mind.

BAHAHAHAHAHA! Well well well, who knew that all I would've had to do to finally break you was to take on Kanda's face and hit on you? Who knew that rejection was all that the mighty Allen Walker needed to break him? And now you're going on a mission, but can't even use your innocence! HOW PATHETIC!

Allen clenched his hands behind his back, wanting to run from the mocking laughter and hide, but knowing doing so would be impossible. His chest throbbed, every chuckle forcing another crack into his heart. It was only a matter of time before the whole thing shattered, and replaying the awful memory in his mind wasn't helping either; but he just couldn't help it...

*O*O*O*

"I'm sorry,"

Kanda's voice echoed through the training room, the quite words holding so much meaning for the few people hearing it.

Only the smirking Noah, watching from his perch above, truly knew what was going on.

Kanda moved away form Allen, turning to pick up his sword.

"Don't worry... I understand" Allen had pushed himself from the floor, and had straightened his clothes. He began to silently head for the door.

He felt disgusted with himself

'I threw myself at him like a fucking slut, and now he's apologizing to me?' Allen bit his lip hard as his eyes pricked with tears, but he dare not slow his face or look at the samurai behind him.

"I'm sorry I'm... not her"

He didn't mean for the words to slip out, but they did none the less, his pain and bitterness more than obvious in the shaky words. He could feel eyes piercing his back as he uttered them, but before he could hear the response he used trembling hands to force open the training room door.

He ran as fast as his weakened legs would let him, bursting into his old room and locking the door behind him. He turned to find everything still in place, as he stumbled towards his bed before collapsing onto the soft mattress, clutching onto his pillow and crying at the bittersweet scene he'd left behind him.

'Why does everything around me always go wrong?'

*O*O*O*

"You're dismissed,"

Allen was the first one out of the door, leaving the two other team members behind. These team members, much to his chagrin, were none other than Kanda Yuu and Lenalee Lee, the two people he least wanted contact with right now. Kanda for obvious reasons, but also Lenalee because she'd be the first one to force herself into his room to find out what was wrong; and that wasn't something he wanted right now.

'And as if all this shit wasn't even enough, I still have to get through the rest of the day with these people.'

'And somehow manage to overcome my... fear... of innocence.'

'In two weeks'

'Fourteen days'

'Fan-fucking-tastic'

Little did he know that he wasn't the only one with his emotions on the verge of overflowing, nor was he the only one replaying the events of the early morning.

*O*O*O*

"I'm sorry,"

Kanda's voice echoed through the training room, the quite words holding so much meaning for all those in hearing distance.

Only the smirking Noah, watching from his perch above, truly knew what was going on.

'I'm sorry Allen, I never meant to force you into something like this,' Kanda hoped his silent apology got through as he moved away form Allen, turning to pick up his sword.

If only it had.

"Don't worry... I understand" Allen had pushed himself from the floor, and had straightened his clothes. He began to silently head for the door.

"I'm sorry I'm... not her" Kanda eyes widened and he spun around, just in time to see Allen shove open the door and disappear around the corner.

"Shit, that isn't what I meant!"

But it was too late, even though he ran to the door in hopes of catching him; the silver-haired exorcist had disappeared from sight.

Now Allen would probably hate him.

He'd fucked up.

Again

*O*O*O*

"You two, hold on a second,"

Kanda and Lenalee stopped, turning back to the suddenly serious Supervisor,

"Yes, nii-chan?"

"I would like for you guys to personally keep an eye on Allen while on this mission. He's been locked up and living in such poor conditions for so long, I don't know if he'll be able to handle such a long and tiring mission. Please do your best, when Lavi and Krory return from their mission, I'll be sending them to join you guys."

Kanda gave a silent nod, before leaving the room, his mind replaying the morning's events for what seemed to be the billionth time.

'I need to... talk to Allen... somehow... but... he hates me now doesn't he... right?'

His own stupidity was pissing him off to no end.

He didn't even want to like Allen a few hours ago, and now he was trying to make sure he didn't hate him. Even if Allen would talk to him – something almost impossible, as now he wont so much as breathe in his direction – what would he say? Would he say that he wasn't thinking of his old lover as they kissed? Would he say that he that he didn't see it as mistake, and that Allen shouldn't beat himself up over it? What the hell did he even see it as? This is what he wanted, to be away from Allen and clear his head, to prove that it was his lover, who'd passed on, that he still loved – regardless of Allen's presence.

Allen hating him was the best thing that could happen to him right now...

'Right?'

Kanda was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even register the intense gaze focused onto his back; one that followed him as he walked away from Komui's office and disappeared around the corner.


I expected this chapter to be better that it turned out to be, so sorry if it's a let down-_-