Chapter Nine

I spent an hour or so walking through the streets of Sunnydale before I headed home. I guess a part of me didn't wanna go back there still pissed off. Buffy's sleeping in the bedroom when I get back and she's left a mess from whatever she tried to cook herself for lunch in the kitchen. I don't bother cleaning up after her and grab the last cold beer out of the fridge, cracking it open as I walk over to the desk and pick up the phone and the piece of paper with Giles' number written on it.

He really needs to know what is going on over here, but I don't know just how to tell him what happened. He literally just left and if he knew what Willow and the others had done, he'd be back as soon as he could make it, probably giving them hell for being so fucking stupid to do a spell that brought Buffy back from the dead. He'll probably be pissed at me over the fact I never told him when he called the Magic Box earlier and talked to me.

And a pissed off Giles is not a fun Giles to deal with. I know from recent experience.

I stare down at the cordless phone in my hand for a few minutes before I place it back down on the charger and walk over to the window. I shake my head as I open the window. I know that Giles needs to know what is going on here, but I really don't wanna be the one to tell him. I also don't wanna hear an earful from him when he finds out I knew and didn't tell him. Some fucked up dilemma I've found myself in, huh?

I light up a smoke and start to have a conversation inside my head, trying to figure out how to tell Giles when I do work up the nerve to call him. I don't know why, but it feels like one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, crazy as it is.

I give in once I've finished my cigarette and I grab the phone off the desk and sit down on the couch. I dial the number on the piece of paper and wait for the line to ring. After a few seconds, it's ringing and I'm waiting for Giles to pick up. A part of me wants to get his voice mail-or answering machine, whatever he uses-but another part of me just wants to get this done and over with already.

"Hello?"

"Hey, G, it's me," I say softly, my voice cracking and nearly giving out before I can get out the words.

"Faith? Is everything all right? Did something happen? Are you all right?"

"There's uh something I didn't tell ya earlier," I say to him and I can hear him shuffling on the other ends. "There's something I should've told ya when you called before, but I-I didn't know how to tell you."

"What is going on?"

Giles is far too calm for my nerves right now. If he only knew. If he only fucking knew.

"Faith?"

"Buffy's back," I spit out.

I swear I can hear him laughing, but it sounds like he's trying to keep it to himself. I sigh heavily, switch the phone to my other ear, and take a few healthy swigs of my beer.

"G, did you hear what I said? Buffy's back."

"I certainly heard what you said. Have you been drinking, Faith?"

"No," I sigh heavily. "Buffy is back from the dead, Giles."

"Impossible."

"Tell that to the very powerful witch that brought her back. Goes by the name of Willow. Cute little redhead with a girlfriend named Tara."

"Good lord."

I tell him Buffy is back from the dead and that's all I get? One "Good lord"? Jesus Christ.

It takes him a full five minutes of silence between us for him to start yelling at me. I don't cut in and try to stop him. I just let him get it all out. I barely listen since pretty much everything he is saying should be directed at the Scooby gang, not me. Fuck, I only found Buffy, it's not like I had a hand in this spell that they did or even know what they were up to. Once he's calmed down, I finally explain everything that I know to him, giving as much details as I can from the moment I found Buffy until pretty much up to the point where I called him.

Before the conversation is over, he tells me he'll be looking into getting a flight back to California to return to Sunnydale as soon as he can. I hang up the phone and when I turn around, Buffy is standing by the desk with a perplexed look on her face. I have no idea how much of the conversation she heard, but from the looks of things, she isn't happy with what she did hear.

"What's up, B?" I ask her calmly and smile a little. "Did ya sleep all morning?"

"You told him?"

"Didn't have any other choice," I shrug. "Talked to Willow and the gang this morning. Don't know if ya overheard, but-"

"I heard," she snaps and she doesn't move from where she's standing. "Doesn't make it any better-or easier for that matter to know that my friends are the reason I'm here right now when I shouldn't be."

I don't say anything to her since I know she ain't gonna talk to me about those many hidden meanings underneath her words. I don't expect her to and if she wants to then hey, by all means I'll listen and all that crap. I learned from the prison shrink and from Angel that sometimes just listening to someone else gets you a long way. A long way to what, I ain't so sure on that part yet, but I do know the listening crap works sometimes.

"I want to go home."

"You ain't a prisoner here, B. You're free to leave whenever you want. But," I say and I stand up slowly from the couch, "ya gotta remember that you wanted to stick around here instead of going home last night."

"I know."

"Just wanted to be clear on that," I add and I watch her as she walks to the door and stops. "Do ya want me to walk you home?"

"No," she says and she turns back to the door and opens it. "Faith?" She says as she turns her head to look back at me. "Uh, thank you for what you've done since last night. You didn't have to."

"No, but it felt like the right thing to do."

I get a little nod and a smile outta her before she leaves and slowly shuts the door behind her. I sit there for what feels like forever just staring at the door, wondering if she'll come back in 'cause she's changed her mind about wanting to go back home. Not like I expect her to though. Whatever she's been going through since last night, she just needed time to come back down to earth, so to speak, before she got back to her normal life.

I find the necklace with the Buffy glamour and I grab a hammer out of the tool box in the hallway closet. I set the necklace down on the counter and stare at it. I don't want to destroy it. Angel gave it to me. I knew I should've given them something else to use for the glamour spell, something that holds little to no meaning to me. I raise the hammer up and bring it down with enough force to break the chain and bend the cross. I tie the chain together where it broke and I slip it on and head for the bathroom to look in the mirror.

Nothing. Still me. The glamour is gone but all I'm left with is a fucked up looking cross necklace on a broken chain.

Still, I don't know what came over me, but I do know I had the feeling I had to end it now that Buffy is back. What do they need me for anymore anyway? I'll end up going back to being the "other" slayer, the backup, pushed aside and everything I've done in the last four months will quickly be forgotten.

I'm not bitter. It's the truth. Once Buffy gets back into her old routine, patrolling and what not, there'll be no need for me to be the one and only slayer this town has. There's a part of me that wants to pack up what I got and leave before things turn out the way they did the last time I was here. But a bigger part of me wants to stay 'cause for once in my life I'm somewhere where it feels like home.

I head up to the bedroom and lay down, burying my face into the pillow as I try to shut out my raging thoughts and the rest of the world. I inhale deeply and I can smell Buffy's scent lingering on the pillow and the sheets. In a weird way, it helps lull me to sleep. I welcome that pull as my body finally gives in to a little bit of rest. God knows I need it after the night I'd had last night.


I don't bother going on patrol tonight and instead I find myself sitting in Willy's bar, sipping a strong Jack and Coke and eyeing the few vamps that are sitting in the corner. I would've gone to the Bronze, but I didn't wanna run into the Scooby gang there tonight, not after this morning. I don't think I'm quite ready to face them right now without snapping at them for being so fucking stupid.

"Funny running into you here," Olivia says as she sits down on the stool next to me. "I didn't think you came to a place like this."

"Just about to say the same thing about you," I say to her with a crooked smile. "You stood me up."

"And I was just about to apologize for that," she says with a sweet smile and I can't help but smile back at her. "Something came up last minute."

"Boyfriend?"

I get a nod out of her and I sigh as I lift the glass to my lips and chug what's left. I motion to Willy to make me another drink and I pull out my pack of cigarettes. I offer Olivia one before I light one for myself and grab the ashtray that's to the left of me.

"I do owe you a drink," she says as she motions for Willy to bring us over a couple of beers. "Did you hear about what happened last night?"

"What happened?"

"About how the town got so trashed," she elaborates and I just stare at her, waiting to see what she'll say. "I heard there was a gang who came riding into town, thinking they'd try to take over."

"Heard that too."

"Roman said he saw a couple of the guys before he woke me up so we could hide from them in case they tried to break into our apartment. Said they were gnarly looking."

I laugh at that and finish off my drink before I grab the beer in front of me. It always amazes me that people living in Sunnydale haven't clued in to half the things that happen here and what truly roams the streets at night. I doubt anyone would stick around here long if they knew.

"Been in Sunnydale long?" Olivia asks me and I shrug a little. "It's just I haven't seen you before this summer. Roman and I moved here from LA just before Christmas last year and I thought by now I'd know just about everyone in this town."

"Came here about four months back," I reply, deciding not to tell this chick too much about myself. I've never been an open book with anyone and that's not about to change for a chick with great tits and a pretty face.

"What do you do for work?"

"Kind of had myself a bit of a vacation, but gotta start looking for something real soon. Like yesterday," I reply easily and she laughs and puts an arm around my shoulder. "Got any ideas, Liv?"

"The Bronze is always looking for more bartenders. Between me and Gary, we're the only one that has been there longer than six months."

"Dunno about that," I reply. "I ain't exactly twenty-one yet. Not for another couple of months at least."

"I'll put in a good word for you."

"Appreciate that."

Our conversation is short-lived, but I'm grateful for that. The other night, Olivia seemed like the type I'd get on well with, but tonight? Something definitely felt a little off about her. A tall man with long black hair tied back in a neat ponytail and arms covered in tattoos strolls in as soon as I polish off my beer. He takes a seat on the other side of Olivia and once they share a brief kiss, I figure this is the boyfriend, Roman.

He leans on the bar and peers around Olivia to look at me and he has a sneer on his face that makes me cringe. If I felt like something was off with Olivia, this guy takes the cake. He leans in to whisper something into Olivia's ear. I can hear him though, but he's talking in Spanish and I can't understand a damn word he's saying to her.

It doesn't take me too long to figure out the buzz I'm feeling isn't from the drinks I've had. It's coming from Roman. I can't figure out if he's a vamp or a demon, but I know he's one of them.

"Oh, Faith, this is my boyfriend, Roman," Olivia says with a sweet smile and Roman reaches out to shake my hand. "This is Faith, the one I was supposed to have drinks with the other night," she says to him and rolls her eyes as I give his hand a firm shake.

"Pleasure is all mine," he drawls, his voice deep and the Spanish accent is thick.

His hand isn't cold, but it's not exactly warm either. I can't rule out whether he's a vamp or a demon just yet, but I do know he's definitely not of the human variety here. I shake it off though since I've had a few drinks and could be mistaken and trying to make this guy into something he's not.

I try to figure out a way to get out of having to sit here with the two of them for much longer, but my gut tells me to stick around and sniff out just whatever this guy Roman is. With Giles not gonna be back for who knows how long now, a day or two possibly, I can't hit the books alone and I sure ain't going to the Scooby gang with this one. Especially not now that Buffy is back and they're all fawning over her like a newborn baby. Or a puppy. Whatever.

I pull out a cigarette from my pack and Roman reaches over and offers me a light from his gold-plated Zippo lighter. I give him a little smile and light my cigarette before I motion to Willy to get us a round of drinks. When he places three beers down on the bar in front of us, I ask him to get us six shots of the finest tequila he's got. If I'm gonna get anything outta this Roman guy, I gotta get him a bit tipsy first, get him to slip up. Whatever façade he's hiding behind, it ain't gonna work on me.

It isn't long before I find out what a smooth talker this guy is and I can plainly see why Olivia is fawning all over him like a school-girl in love with the hottest guy in her class. It's actually quite amusing though and it's making my night far more entertaining than I originally thought it'd be.

Under the haze of the alcohol, I still keep my wits about me as best as I can. Night off or not, anything can happen and a drunk slayer isn't a very efficient slayer.

I spot Spike hobble in after an hour of drinking with Olivia and Roman. He's got one crutch under his arm and his leg is still clearly broken. When we make eye-contact, he takes it as a sign to come over and sit on the stool next to me. I clench my jaw, wanting nothing more than to tell him off, but the wheels that are still slightly sober in my head start turning and I realize I can use him to help me figure out just what Roman is, a vamp or a demon or something else not human.

"Leg still broken, Spike?" I ask him sweetly and he shoots me a glare before grabbing my beer and taking a swig from the bottle.

"What do you think, Slayer? Not gonna magically heal itself in a couple hours, is it now?"

I give his knee a poke and he winces. It makes me laugh and I turn to look over at Olivia and Roman, but they're no longer sitting next to me. They're over by the jukebox dancing, holding each other close in a way only lovers do.

"Who're they?" Spike asks me and he takes another swig of my beer. "Friends of yours?"

"Not exactly."

"Make a habit of having drinks with people you don't know?"

"Isn't that what being in a bar is all about, Spike?"

This is seriously turning into the longest day of my life, even longer than that first day I spent in prison. The last thing I wanted was for Spike to show up tonight, but I guess hanging out at Willy's bar, it's bound to happen at some point or another.

Luckily for me, Spike spots a couple of demons he normally plays poker with and he hobbles his way to the back room with my beer. I sigh and ask Willy for another. Olivia and Roman are still dancing over by the jukebox and I can't help but turn on my stool and watch them for a minute. There's no denying they make one hot couple, that's for sure. There's still something completely off about them though and I wish I could put my finger on it. I know that Olivia is human, but I still can't figure out what Roman is.

I push it out of my mind and join them over by the jukebox. I lean up against the pool table as soon as the few demons that were playing saw me coming over and left quickly. I laugh a little and lean back a little, still watching them, feeling absolutely mesmerized by the way they're moving together.

"Join us, Faith," Olivia says in a husky drawl that makes my whole body shudder.

Olivia holds out a hand and I put my beer bottle down on top of the pool table. I grab her hand and allow myself to be pulled in between them. The heat from her body is intense against my front and I can feel Roman behind me, his hands slinking over my hips as he pulls me into his body. I feel like I'm in a haze as I move with them. Olivia drapes her arms over my shoulders and leans in close. I can smell her perfume and the alcohol on her breath and it makes me dizzy.

I feel lips on the back of my neck once my hair is swept to the side and it jolts me back down to reality. I push away from the two of them and watch as they find each other again. I run a hand through my hair and grab my beer off the pool table.

Whatever their intentions are, I don't wanna stick around and find out. A few years ago, I would've been the one leading them back to my motel room for a night of hot, sweaty, naked fun. But that's not who I am anymore and I gotta keep reminding myself that even when the pull towards that part of my past becomes almost too strong to fight.

They don't even notice I'm gone as I slip away to the bar and down the rest of my beer. I hand Willy some cash, hopefully enough to pay off my tab and he waves my hand away, telling me the tab has already been paid for by Roman. With a sigh, I shove the bills back into my back pocket and I head for the door. I take a quick glance back at the lovers and they're so enthralled by one another I don't doubt they won't notice I'm gone for quite some time.

The night is a bit cool, but it's almost refreshing as I step outside and breathe in the fresh air. It takes a bit for me to walk home, but I make it in one piece. I shut the door and lock it behind me. I stumble in the darkness as I slip off my jacket and miss the back of the chair. I groan loudly when I hear it thump to the ground. I don't know how I manage to make it up the stairs to bed, but as soon as I hit the pillow, I can feel the strong tug of sleep pulling me in.


Bang. Bang. Bang.

Either someone is at the door or I've just woken up with a killer hangover. I roll over on to my back and stare up at the ceiling. The sunlight shining in through the windows nearly blind me at first, but my eyes adjust and the pounding in my head is a sore reminder of just how much I drank last night at Willy's.

I pull the pillow over my face and breathe in deeply. Buffy's scent is still faintly lingering there and I make a mental note to throw the bed linen in the wash at some point today. It's driving me crazy.

I hear the door unlock downstairs and I sit up too quickly, making the room spin around me and my insides churn as I struggle to keep down whatever is left in my stomach. I know I drank a bit, even for me, but I didn't drink enough to feel like this. I get out of bed and make my way down the stairs. Willow and Tara have let themselves in and they've brought coffee from the Espresso Pump with them.

"Morning, Faith," Willow says with a smile as she hands me one of the three coffee's they're carrying. She's far too chipper for me to handle this morning. "Rough night? How are you feeling?"

"Like someone took a two by four and hit me repeatedly with it," I reply with a shrug. "Nasty hangover. Nothing a coffee and a couple more hours of sleep won't cure."

Willow and Tara just exchange a look between them as I pick up my jacket from the floor and pull out the now crushed and nearly empty pack of cigarettes. I sit on the edge of the desk and light one, closing my eyes as I inhale deeply and wait for whatever bad news they have come here to tell me.

"Um," Willow coughs as she and Tara move to sit on the stools by the counter. "We received a call last night," she says nervously and I wave my hand for her to continue faster. "From Angel."

"He's back?"

"He said he was trying to get in touch with you, but you obviously weren't even home. He's back in LA and we-we told him Buffy's alive. We told him everything."

"And?"

"Buffy is going later to see him," Willow replies. Totally knew that one was coming. "But," she sighs as she looks at Tara for a second then looks back at me, "Angel told me that he wants you to come with Buffy when she goes down to see him."

Now that I didn't see coming. I would've thought that he'd want to see her alone. Maybe he doesn't trust himself to face her alone 'cause those feelings of his are still very real and still very deeply woven through his soul. Not that I blame him or anything. I know what kind of an impact that Buffy can make on the people in her life. I've seen it with my own eyes and hell, I'll even admit I've felt it too.

Willow brings me up to speed on when Buffy is planning to head down to LA to see Angel, but the only downside is she has yet to find a way down there. Xander already refused to lend her his car, and from the stories I've heard, that's probably a good thing.

I seriously need more sleep before I have to deal with any of this today, yet I'm getting the feeling that's not gonna be happening. My head is still pounding something fierce and my stomach is churning even as I sip the now lukewarm coffee they'd brought for me. Willow explains to me that I need to be the one to convince Buffy not to go down to LA alone. I want to laugh in her face and tell her Buffy would never listen to me, but she's got this look in her eyes that's telling me something, whatever it is, I'm not too sure, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess it has to do with the way Buffy is acting.

Willow and Tara go sit out in the courtyard to wait for me while I shower and get changed into clean clothes. I avoid looking at myself in the steamy bathroom mirror since I know I look just as bad as I feel right now. I grab my sunglasses and slip them on before I join them outside in the courtyard. Nobody says a word as I lead the way to where I parked Giles' car and we pile in. I take a moment to take a few deep breaths before I pull out of the parking lot.

The ride to the Summers' house is quick and silent and I let Willow and Tara go up to the house first. I can faintly hear them talking inside and I get out of the car, readjusting my sunglasses as I walk up to the front door and let myself in. Dawn is in the living room watching TV, likely being picked up and driven to school by Xander in a couple of minutes. Willow and Tara are in the kitchen talking quietly now and I stop before I pass the stairs when I see Buffy appear at the top.

"What are you doing here?" Buffy asks in a cold voice that makes me flinch.

"I'm your ride to LA, B," I reply casually.

"You? You expect me to trust you that you won't try to kill me?"

"Past all that, B, remember?"

She rolls her eyes as she walks past me and heads for the kitchen. "What the hell is she doing here?" I hear her ask Willow and Tara. "I told you I don't want her coming around here anymore."

"She'll drive you down to LA to see Angel, Buff," Willow replies calmly and I walk to the kitchen doorway and lean up against the wall with my arms crossed over my chest. "Angel wants her to come with you."

"Whatever," Buffy huffs and she spins around to look at me. There's a glare in her stare and it chills me to the bone. In one day she went from being terrified to going right back to her old self, the one that absolutely hated my guts. "Can we leave now then?"

"Whenever you're ready," I reply with a shrug. "Gotta stop and get some breakfast before we get on the open road. My treat," I say with a smile but she just ignores me and walks towards the front door. "This'll be one helluva fun day," I mutter and it earns me a sympathy smile from Willow and Tara.

Buffy is waiting for me by the car. She has a bag with her and I don't need to look inside it to know she's packed some weapons and possibly a change of clothes and other little essentials she'd need for a day trip to LA and back. I hop in the front seat and I turn to look at her, peering over the top of my sunglasses as I watch her look right back at me with a glare.

"You coming?" I ask her as I slip the key into the ignition and start the engine.

"You know how to drive?"

"I do."

"Do you even have a license?"

"I do," I reply with a chuckle. She sighs dramatically and tosses her stuff in the back seat before she gets in the passenger side and shuts the door behind her. "You can pick the tunes for the ride there," I say to her as I drive away from the Summers' house. "Just one condition, I get to pick the tunes on the ride back."

"Fine," she shrugs and she slips her sunglasses on and reaches for the buttons to change the radio station.

Before we reach the open road, I pull over at a gas station and fill up the tank. Buffy runs inside the snack shop and comes out a few minutes later with a bag full of junk food and cans of pop. I smile a little as I climb back in the car but she doesn't even look at me. She does offer me a bag of Doritos and I take them willingly. Not my idea of breakfast, but it'll do until we get to LA and stop for some real food.

It's a long drive to LA and I know there will be no words between us. I have a lot I want to say to her, but I get the feeling she's not going to willingly listen to me. I don't blame her. Things might've been different the other day, but that was before the shock of being brought back to life wore off. I don't know how I'm gonna handle things once we're back in Sunnydale. Giles will want me to stick around, but I'm starting to wonder if the others will start changing their mind when it comes to me staying there.

Sure, the summer changed a lot of things and I became a part of their lives. But, Buffy is back now and they can go back to living their lives the way it'd been before she died saving the world yet again.

And I'll just go back to being second-string. The backup slayer. Second best.