Notes: Well, it was raining outside today. I count this as a plus. I really don't have anything else to say... *feels bad*
Title: Fragility
Pairing: Shizaya
Part: ninth part
Words: 3777 words
Prompt: Shizaya, cuddling... Just any IC fluff. ;_;
Disclaimer: It's not mine. It all belongs to others who I am in no way associated with and I make nothing from writing this, got it?
part nine
The motorcycle gave a whinny before Celty guided it away from the curb and onto the street, Izaya managed to catch the small wave Shizuo gave before the dullahan sped up and took off. He tightened his grip around her waist just a little, nervous.
It had been his first time outside in weeks and it was a little disconcerting to see that in all of that time nothing had changed. The city was the same as always; full of people bustling around and going about their lives, people going to work or school just like the day before. He could almost hate it.
What he hated more, though, was how terrified he was of the people. Any one of them could have been responsible for... for what had happened to him, and he couldn't remember any of it – which was mostly a good thing.
As they sped around the corner, he caught sight of Simon standing outside of Russia Sushi; doing his job just like always. He waved at Celty when he caught sight of her and she gave him a quick nod in return before speeding off.
The rest of the trip to Shinra's was uneventful but Izaya still felt uneasy for much of it. He couldn't help but feel as though everyone's eyes were on him.
Shizuo wasn't there when they arrived at Shinra's, but Celty was kind enough not to take her usual route into the building and simply left her motorcycle parked on the street. Just as she'd done earlier, she easily swept Izaya into her arms and carried him inside. It was just a tiny bit embarrassing, but at least no one was around to see it.
The door to the apartment had been left unlocked, but Shinra came and opened it for them when Izaya knocked since Celty's hands were full.
"How are you feeling this morning Izaya?" Shinra asked after he'd finished greeting the two of them.
Izaya gave a little shrug, but pulled out his phone when the doctor gave him a sharp look. -I feel fine, just a little tired. Like always.-
"Your body is still healing and it's taking up a lot of your energy, so it isn't all that surprising." Shinra sighed, stepping aside so that Celty could carry Izaya inside. He trailed behind them.
Celty carried him into the small hospital room that Shinra kept just for him and Shizuo. She carefully settled him on the bed and made sure that he was tucked in and comfortable. [ Do you want anything? ]
He shook his head.
[ Alright. If you need anything, then just ask. ] She turned to Shinra, showing him a quick message before she left. Izaya heard the front door click closed behind her.
Now Shinra's full attention was on him and it was a little uncomfortable. Izaya shifted a little on the bed and waited for the inevitable questions.
"When I asked you how you felt, I meant how do you feel emotionally Izaya. I know that physically, you're fine but–"
-I don't really know.- Izaya hesitated; even though Shinra was his friend and they were relatively close, he still didn't feel all that comfortable with sharing so much with him. Shinra might have seen him when his injuries were at his worst, but he hadn't been the one who'd been patching him together over the last few weeks.
He felt so much more comfortable around Shizuo, talking with him. The blond never pushed him to talk about things if he wasn't ready to, and he appreciated that.
"You have to have some idea. How was being outside again?"
The first part was mumbled with exasperation, the second part was clear and direct. It caught Izaya a little off guard and his fingers twitched.
-... I don't want to talk about it.-
Shinra frowned, "Izaya, if it's something you find uncomfortable, then you should talk about it and we can figure out a way to deal with it. We're not going to push you into doing things that you don't want to, but you need to talk to us about them or else we won't know."
-You talk too much.- Izaya sighed. -But thanks. I just don't want to talk about it right now.-
Shinra nodded, "Do you want to wait until Shizuo gets here? I guess you'd rather talk to him about this than me."
-Sorry.-
"Don't be. It doesn't surprise me that you're more comfortable talking about this sort of thing with him than with me. But don't be afraid to talk to me or Celty about anything, alright?"
-I know.-
"Well, in the meantime, let me check some of your injuries. I think that we'll be able to take off some of those bandages now."
It took quite a bit of careful manoeuvring to get Izaya out of his clothes and into a hospital gown. For Izaya, it was a little uncomfortable since usually Shizuo was the one who helped him dress, but Shinra managed to be very professional about the entire thing which helped.
Most of the bandages around his torso were changed instead of removed, but Shinra noted that the wounds there had been more severe but that they were healing nicely. There would still be some scarring, but it would gradually fade with time.
A couple of the bandages came off his arms, revealing long, thin scabs which stretched down his arm, crisscrossing with a number of others. The bruises and scratches around his wrists had faded, but there were some vivid red and purple scars marking them. His legs had come out relatively unscathed – with the exception of his knee which was to be operated on – and the scars around his ankles.
"Hm," Shinra hummed thoughtfully as the scarred flesh was revealed. "Your burns have healed up fairly well; I'd give them another week or two before they're fully healed, but they've scarred over rather nicely..."
For the most part, Izaya tuned out Shinra's rambling about the subject of his injuries. He didn't want to hear about the scars anymore. With each one being counted, he felt his heart sink a little bit more.
Did his inside match his outside now? He knew that, mentally, he still had a long ways to go before he recovered, and some part of him knew that he wouldn't ever be completely recovered. Physically, his wounds would heal, but the scars would remain as a constant reminder of what he couldn't remember.
"... still a chance they could get infected, so for now just keep taking those antibiotics that I gave you – you have been taking those right? And the pain medication?"
Izaya frowned at that. How to explain. -I took the antibiotics, but only because Shizu-chan made me. I didn't touch the other pills unless the pain was really bad.-
Shinra heaved a heavy sigh at that and crossed his arms, giving Izaya one of his stern doctor persona looks. It was nearly enough to make the brunette cringe, just a little.
"After your surgery, you will take the medication that I prescribe you to take. No exceptions. I'll make sure that Shizuo knows." Shinra paused to pinch the bridge of his nose, his voice was a little softer as he continued, "There is a risk for nerve damage, given your injuries, and the pain might be chronic – there's a chance that you'll have to be on heavier pain medications for the rest of your life."
-I don't like drugs.-
"I know that, but what I mean is that when the pain gets really bad, you're not going to have a choice. I'm not saying that this is one-hundred percent going to happen, but it's a very real possibility; I just want you to be prepared."
-I know, it's just...-
Whatever it was that Izaya was going to say, he was interrupted by the sound of loud knocking on Shinra's door.
"That'll be Shizuo. I'll get it." Shinra straightened up. He gave Izaya a dark look, "Don't move."
Izaya just gave him a flat look in response. Where the hell was he going to go? He certainly wasn't walking anywhere any time soon.
Shinra opened the door, greeting Shizuo softly, "How was the walk?"
He shrugged, nudging his way inside and toeing off his shoes on the matt there. "The same as usual. A couple of Raira kids were trailing after me for a while, but other than that nothing."
"Really? Do you know them?" Shinra frowned a little; he himself didn't know anyone, really, who attended Raira – well, apart from Anri, but he barely knew her. Celty had brought her here the same night that Shizuo had been shot, so he'd been a little distracted.
"They were asking about Izaya before. I don't know them but I think that Izaya does; when I told him about them, he seemed really surprised to hear about it." Shizuo tucked his sunglasses away in an inner pocket of his vest and stuffed his hands in his pockets. His casual posture belied the tension in his shoulders.
"Did he give you a name?"
"He mentioned a 'Mikado-kun.' I'm guessing that's the boy, he had a girl with him... I think I've seen her around before." Shizuo frowned, clearly searching his memory for the girl's name and failing.
Shinra shrugged and turned away, "I guess it's not that important. Anyway, I've already gotten Izaya settled in and I removed some of his bandages. Do you want to see him?"
"Yeah."
Following the brunette doctor down the hall and into the small room that he'd left Izaya in. Shizuo gave Izaya a warm smile as he entered and a small wave.
"Hey. How are you feeling?"
Izaya returned the smile and shrugged. -Fine. Shinra was rambling on again.-
"Hey!"
Shizuo chuckled, "Yeah, he does that. You should be used to it by now. Or just tune it out."
In response, Shinra pouted and crossed his arms while Izaya just laughed silently, his shoulders shaking. Shizuo just smiled, quickly crossing the space between them to stand at the side of the bed.
"Are you two done making fun of me yet?" Shinra asked; he sounded just a little annoyed. "I still have to finish removing all those bandages."
-Do you have to?-
"Yes, I want to check on all of your injuries and most of them are healed enough for me to take them off." Shinra picked up a set of scissors from the tray on a nearby table and gestured for Izaya to lean back so that he could finish up what he was doing.
Shizuo watched, arms crossed, his stormy eyes unreadable but swirling with emotions. He very carefully and gently sat on the edge of the bed; Izaya shifted a little under his intense scrutiny.
The last bandages to come off were the ones around his neck and face. Izaya couldn't see them, but he could tell by the slight darkening of anger in Shizuo's eyes that the scars about his neck weren't pretty. He looked down to his lap, twisting his hands together.
When Shinra removed the bandage covering his eye, Izaya blinked it blearily several times. Everything was terribly blurry for several moments before it eventually came into focus. It was the first time in weeks that he'd been able to look at Shizuo with both eyes. Tentatively, he reached up, touching the skin there. He could feel the rough edges of scars and scabs and the eye itself was still a bit swollen, but the eye socket itself was intact and fine.
He was startled out of his thoughts when he felt Shizuo's fingers gently fitting into the gaps between his over his eye. There was a pensive look on his face as he then twined his fingers with Izaya's and gave them a comforting squeeze.
Shinra was saying something, but Izaya was completely tuning him out. The only indication that he got that either of them was listening was that Shizuo acknowledged him very briefly, but his full attention was on Izaya.
"Can we have a minute?" Shizuo interrupted Shinra before he could continue on his rambling rant about how Izaya's recovery was coming.
"And he – huh? Oh, yeah sure. I'll go and prep the OR; it'll be ready in a few minutes." Shinra then quietly exited the room, closing the door behind him. His footsteps were soft as they receded down the hall to another room.
Shizuo nudged Izaya, making him move over enough so that Shizuo could slide onto the bed with him, leaning against the headboard beside the brunette. He slipped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a gentle embrace and letting Izaya's head rest against his chest; his other hand carefully separated Izaya's fidgeting ones and entwining their fingers together.
"Stop that, you'll reopen some of your wounds," Shizuo admonished softly. "Is something wrong?"
-There's so many scars...- Izaya let out a heavy sigh. -I knew that there would be scars, but I never thought that they'd be so numerous.-
"Yeah, but you've got some older ones too." Shizuo's lips gently pressed against his shoulder, against one of the old scars there; a myriad of new cuts decorating the skin there. A few of them would probably leave new scars.
-Yes, but...- He flushed; he really didn't want to admit to that. It was so far off and not a subject that they'd touched on really. -I guess I'll have to make sure to wear long sleeves from now on. But I have no idea how I'd...-
He gestured weakly towards the scars around his neck. They were still a vivid red and the edges were ragged; the scar would be ugly and twist around the skin of his neck. It would be hard to hide and even more difficult to explain.
Shizuo tightened his hold on Izaya's hand, his lips moving gently to press against the skin where his neck and shoulder met. The brunette shivered in response, shyly tilting his head to give the blond better access; blushing as Shizuo's lips pressed soft, chaste kisses against the edges of his wounds there.
While he couldn't say that the treatment made what had happened to him worth it, it certainly made him feel better. The blond was warm, his touch gentle but firm; under his head, Izaya could feel the firm and hard muscles there – Shizuo was all muscle beneath his clothing – but he had never been anything but tender and careful with him. He couldn't explain it well, but it filled him with warmth that swelled from deep within his chest.
It was... really nice.
"That's what you're worried about?" Shizuo continued, voice quiet. "That those scars will affect how I feel about you."
Izaya bit down on his lip, too afraid to give any indication that it was true. Instead, he glanced down to their entwined hands and stared rather pointedly at them.
"Don't worry about it; it's not important."
Shizuo's lips pressed along his jaw, up to his temple and across his forehead before he pressed them against his now uncovered eye. Izaya squeezed it shut unconsciously as he did so.
-Are you sure?-
At that, Shizuo actually laughed – a deep chuckle, but still. "Yeah I'm sure. It doesn't matter so you shouldn't worry about it. These scars don't change anything."
He smirked, his hand stroking up and down Izaya's shoulders in what was both a slightly suggestive move and a comforting gesture as well. Izaya leaned against him and let out a content sigh.
Their quiet moment was interrupted by Shinra's soft knock at the door as he eased it open enough to stick his head through. "Hey, it's time. You're might wanna suit up Shizuo if you're gonna be in there too."
The blond grumbled about that, but didn't raise too many complaints about the entire thing. It was, however, easy enough to get him to carry Izaya into the room which would be serving as the operating room and then he followed Shinra out to put on the necessary surgical garb and to get cleaned up.
Izaya, meanwhile, was lying on the operating table, feeling rather uncomfortable. When Shinra and Shizuo returned, the blond grabbed a chair and sat down at the head of the bed, running his fingers through his hair and giving him a smile. It was a little weird to see him wearing a surgical slip over his usual bartender uniform.
On the other hand, Shinra was fully decked out in his surgical garb, his hands freshly scrubbed as he pulled on a pair of latex gloves with a very audible snap. It made Izaya's stomach twist just a little with anxiety.
But Shizuo's hands were warm and comforting on his face – he focused on those instead. Shinra was already masked up and stringing up what looked like a curtain around the middle of Izaya's abdomen.
"It's so that you don't see what I'm doing – I'd rather not have you go into shock from the sight of it," Shinra explained quickly, his voice muffled by the mask. "I'm giving you a local anaesthetic so you're going to be awake for the procedure. Since I'm not an anaesthesiologist and I don't want to drag in some of... my contacts, this is the best I can do."
Twisting a little awkwardly, Izaya reached up; Shizuo met him before he could put too much strain on his body and make his injuries worse. Almost immediately he twined their fingers together and let it rest on the bed beside Izaya's head, moving into a more comfortable position at his side.
Izaya frowned at that; did Shizuo really want to sit there? Wouldn't that give him a view of his operation?
"Don't give me that look," Shizuo growled with a small smile. "I'll be fine. I've seen a lot worse."
Shinra shuddered then grumbled, "That's because it's pretty much impossible to knock you out with any thing... I've tried horse tranquillizers and not even those work."
That made Izaya smile and he gave Shizuo's hand a small squeeze. He felt the prick and the burn of the needle as Shinra applied the anaesthetic, then washed the flesh to make sure that it was sterile before he set to work.
It was quite disconcerting because he did have a sort of feeling for what Shinra was doing to his knee, but there was no pain and the feeling of it was extremely dulled. Instead, he concentrated on the feel of Shizuo's hand in his and the way his hand was stroking through his hair. Occasionally, the blond's hand would stray, his fingers brushing against his cheeks and forehead.
If he'd been able to, he would've curled closer to the blond, but since he couldn't feel his leg from just above the knee he couldn't. Plus, the hold that Shinra had on him told him he was going nowhere any time soon.
Shizuo leaned forward and brushed his lips along his forehead, murmuring softly too him. Dimly, Izaya wondered whether or not the blond would ever consider singing to him, but quickly dismissed the thought – it didn't matter, so long as he was there then that was enough.
At some point, he must have drifted off. It might have had to do with the anaesthetic or just the fact that he was plain tired, but whatever the case was, Izaya dozed off for the majority of his operation. What woke him up was Shizuo gently nudging his shoulder and kissing him. It was a very pleasant way to wake up.
He could feel Shinra sewing up his knee and knew that the operation was finished. Bandages were applied to his knee, along with what felt like a very stiff brace.
"You're going to be bedridden for about a week, just to let everything set. After that you've got about another three or four weeks in which you have to stay off your feet," Shinra explained. "Then we'll start you in on some physiotherapy, just to get you adjusted to being back on your feet under your own power. Shizuo can help you with that."
"I can?" The blond blinked, confused.
"Yes. I'll explain it later. For now let's just move him back into the other room. He can stay there for the first week, then you can take him home."
Since there was no point to arguing – not that he could – Izaya simply let Shizuo scoop him up into his arms and carry him out of the room. With the anaesthesia wearing off, he could feel the pain start to come back. It wasn't too bad at that point, but it definitely was going to get worse before it would get better.
Maybe he would end up taking that pain medication of Shinra's after all.
Shizuo settled him into the bed, pulling the blankets up around him and making sure that he was comfortable. A glass of water was pressed into his hands along with two smallish pills.
"Take those; doctor's orders." Shizuo settled down on the chair by his bedside.
Izaya gave him a dark look but took the pills anyway, downing them with the water. He still felt sleepy and settled back against the pillows, giving Shizuo a look that he hoped conveyed his questions. Craning his neck a little to the side, he could see his phone tucked away on the small wheeled table at his bedside; he was just too tired to bother reaching for it.
"I'll stay the night and I'll try and come back to see you tomorrow – either at lunch or in the evening."
He nodded, settling back into the bed and reaching towards Shizuo; his movements were a little sluggish and uncoordinated. He felt like a fish out of water. It only made the blond chuckle as he took his hand and gave it a squeeze.
"You gonna get some more sleep?" Shizuo propped his chin up on the bed with his other hand, watching the brunette with a small smile on his face.
A lazy nod was Izaya's only response before he let his eyes drift closed. It didn't take him too long until he was fast asleep.
.:-o-:. .:-o-:. .:-o-:.
I probably shouldn't say this, but technically I've started on the sequel to this... I haven't written much – only about 500 or so words, but the scene just wouldn't leave my head and so I wrote it down. But here's your update of Fragility, I hope that you enjoy it.
Reviews are always very greatly appreciated!
Twilight.
