I thought about what Esme had said.
She felt that my presence in Edward's life had somehow started to reform him.
I didn't even know if he would let me see him again. Let alone talk to me. But I had to try. It's the least I could do for his family.
I had really screwed things up.
I was standing in the women's restroom at the hospital staring at myself in the mirror.
"Ok" I said to myself. "You're going to fix this."
I walked shakily towards the room that had been assigned to Edward.
They wanted to keep him for a day or two to assess his situation.
During the 'pool hall' fight, he had been punched or kicked in the side under his arm. The x-ray had shown a hairline fracture in one of his ribs. Nothing serious, but they wanted to make sure that he wasn't bleeding internally or something from the injury.
At this point I didn't know if they had removed the restraints from Edward's arms and legs. I was going to find out now.
I walked into Edward's room. The curtain had been drawn to block Edward's side of the room from view.
I slowly stepped around the curtain.
Edward had indeed been released from his restraints. He was laying still with one of his arms over his face, the crook of his elbow over his eyes.
I just stood there watching him breathe slowly in and out.
"I know you're there." He said with no emotion. "Just get the hell out."
I just stood there frozen. He didn't even raise his arm to look at me.
"Did you hear me? GET OUT!"
I turned and ran. I ran all the way outside to my truck and got in before I started crying.
It was official. Edward Cullen hated me.
I was back to school later that day. I didn't feel up to it, but with finals looming just around the corner, I couldn't afford to skip class.
I had heard through Emmett that the hospital had released Edward after two days and that he was home now, and that he was healing up fine. He mostly stayed in his room. Esme would bring up food for him and leave it on his desk.
I don't know where it came from, but I got an idea.
"Emmett" I said when he picked up the phone. "I need you to get your parents to invite us over for dinner again."
"I don't think that that is such a good idea Bella." He warned. "Edward will be here."
"I know, that's what I'm counting on." I replied sounding smug with my new confidence.
Carlisle seemed reluctant to invite us, but Esme seemed thrilled once she had heard it was my idea.
We all piled out of Emmett's Jeep and headed into the house.
"Something smells good Mom!" Emmett shouted as we walked further into the house.
Esme appeared from the kitchen smiling.
I ran up to her and hugged her tightly. "Thanks for inviting us."
"It's good to have you dear." She said with her eyes smiling.
We all sat down to eat, minus Edward of course, and started to talk about our day.
We finished our meal and brought the dirty dishes into the kitchen. Everyone started to retreat into the living room. I looked back to see Esme start to put food on a plate and fill a glass with iced tea.
"Esme? What do you think you're doing?" I asked.
"I'm just fixing up a plate to take to Edward." She said. "I usually bring it up to him sooner. He's probably wondering where I am."
I stopped her hands from moving as she was putting silverware on the tray. "You are not taking this to him. If he's hungry he can come down and get his own dinner. You baby him too much."
She looked stunned at what I had said. I nodded my head to her. She understood immediately and started to dump off the food into the bin.
The Cullens' started inviting us over weekly from that point on. Sometimes twice a week. I knew that this would be the only way I would get the chance to possibly run into Edward since he wasn't coming to class anymore.
After weeks of preparation, finals were over. I don't think I did too bad considering my mental state over the last few weeks. The only class I think I may have done poorly in was math. I didn't have my tutor available to me anymore.
We were sitting around the table during dinner one night just talking about the end of the semester and what everybody was doing over Christmas break.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure walk past the dining room door and into the kitchen.
"I'm going to grab another Coke. Anyone want anything?" I said standing and taking a step toward the kitchen.
"No, we're fine Honey. Let me get it for you." Esme said halfway out of her chair.
"Esme, please enjoy the company. I'll be right back."
I walked slowly into the kitchen. Edward was standing at the fridge with his back to me. He was running his hand through his hair.
I walked over to him and reached into the fridge and grabbed a Coke from the bottom shelf.
He flinched away from me and it made me sorry for what I was about to do.
"Edward." I said coldly.
He glared at me through narrowed eyes, but didn't say anything.
I glared back with just as much intensity. But I could feel my resolve weakening.
You can do this Bella. I said to myself. You can't walk around on eggshells around him like everyone else.
"You have something of mine and I want it back." I told him devoid of emotion.
He did have something of mine. I had left my zip up jacket here in his room. I had left so suddenly that time that I didn't run up and get it before I left.
He just stared at me.
"Hello? Are you there?" I said waving my hand in front of his face using as much sarcasm as I could.
I could swear I heard him growl. This is exactly what I wanted. No not wanted, needed.
"Will you get it for me?" I asked with raised eyebrows. Nothing.
"Fine, I'll get it myself." And I turned on my heal and headed out of the kitchen.
I was walking quickly with Edward hot on my tail. As I passed the dining room doorway I turned my head to see six people looking at me with their mouths open.
I stormed up the stairs and down the hall to his room. I reached for the doorknob and I felt a hand grip my wrist.
I whipped my body around to face him and ripped my arm out of his grasp. "What is your problem? Stop being a jerk and let me get my jacket!"
He still hadn't said a word, but I could tell I was getting to him. He was breathing faster and his face was flushed.
I turned back around and swung the door open.
His once clean room was destroyed. Clothes and towels everywhere, empty soda cans sitting on every flat surface, even his bed was a mess. The blankets and sheets were all twisted up and pulled from the corners.
As I studied the bed I noticed the sleeve of my jacket sticking out from under the pillows. I smirked inwardly. This may not be as difficult as I thought.
"Well? Where is it?" I pretended not to have seen it.
I turned to look at him and he was standing in the doorway with his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. His eyes were closed.
I took a deep breath and grabbed his arm and pulled him in the room. Then I slammed the door.
"Look Edward. I know you're pissed at me for not telling you that I knew your family and a little about you." His eyes were open now, but the coldness was still there. "It's not any of my business so I never said anything. I didn't want to upset you. But isn't that the way everyone acts around you? Afraid to talk to you, afraid to be around you?" I said throwing my arms up. It was breaking my heart to talk to him this way, but it had to be done. I had to show him that I was not going to treat him like a fragile piece of glass.
"You don't know anything about me." He sneered. Finally, a response.
"I know more than you think. And I'm not talking about all of that car stealing, drinking binge, 'fight everything that moves' bullshit either!" I was really getting worked up now. "Whether you like it or not, I saw a glimpse of the real you, and I liked it. But if you are unable to let all of this…" I said waving my hand between us. "…get in the way. Well, I guess I'll see you around." And I walked out the door.
That stupid boy was going to be the death of me.
About three days after the last dinner, I found out that Edward had a court date to attend in the first part of January. No one had wanted to tell me about it because they didn't want me to worry. Apparently he was accused with 'disturbing the peace' and 'destruction of property' due to the things that had been broken during the fight.
Esme and I kept in touch daily. She would let me in on anything and everything that Edward did. Not that she really knew anything, but it made her feel better to tell me something.
I spent Christmas with my father back in Forks. Rose and Alice joined me, but for only part of the break. They wanted to get back to Emmett and Jasper and spend some time with them before school started.
I had registered for classes online. Esme had let me in on what classes Edward was enrolled in and I purposely registered for some of them. It was going to be impossible for Edward to ignore me forever.
I was nervous to start the new semester. I had two classes with Edward, Biology and American History.
I had purposely waited until the last minute to enter our History class. I wanted to make sure he was inside and settled before I made my entrance.
I walked in and immediately spotted Edward. He was in the back row slouched in his chair with his legs stretched out in front of him with his ankles crossed, his arms crossed in front if his chest.
I moved forward and headed to the back row and plopped myself down in the seat next to him. I chanced a glance in his direction and noticed him looking at me out of the corner of his eye. As soon as he saw that I was looking his direction, his eyes slid back to face the front.
In Biology I had tried to be his lab partner, but I think he knew that I would and sat next to some kid called Eric. I sat directly behind him. What I didn't count on was that Mike would be in this class and he came and sat by me at the last minute. I could see Edward stiffen at the sight of Mike and his proximity to him.
So far Mike had been perfectly nice to me, and had not said anything to Edward.
And that is how the first two weeks went. I was a little surprised that Edward hadn't tried to switch or drop either of these classes. He showed up everyday, but never looked at me again.
Edward's court date had arrived. All of the Cullens' went to the courthouse. I went on my own not wanting to 'butt in' on the family. I slipped in the back just before the judge called the room to order.
There were five other men being accused of the same charges. They were all much older than Edward. All six of them got charged with 'destruction of property' and 'disturbing the peace'. Two of them were charged with assault because it was found out that they had been the ones that instigated the fight. The four of them including Edward that had not been charged with assault, had to pay a huge fine to the owner, and were forced to either do community service for two months or spend a month in jail.
Of course Edward's lawyer opted for the community service and the fine. Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett were shaking hands with the lawyer and saying their thank yous. Edward just stood to the side and watched.
I started to leave but I took one last glance over to the family. I looked at Edward and our eyes locked. I stood there and stared at him for what seemed like forever before I smiled a small smile and turned and walked out the door.
To say I was relieved would be an understatement.
The next day at school I was sitting in class next to Edward in history. He looked like he had not slept in days. The boring lecture in class was not doing him any good for motivation to stay awake.
I'm relieved that everything turned out Ok yesterday. I wrote on a piece of paper and slid it onto his desk.
He studied it for a minute and went back to watching the teacher.
Are you busy after class? I really need to talk to you. I wrote and slid it onto his desk again.
He read it and put his elbows on the desk and ran on hand through his hair before he rested his head on his folded arms. His face was turned away from me.
A throat cleared. "Mr.…um…Cullen" the teacher read from a paper in his hands. "My class is not a place to sleep! I suggest you sit up and pay attention."
Edward lifted his head, glanced in my direction, got up and swiftly walked out of the classroom.
After class I stepped outside hoping to find Edward waiting to talk to me. He was nowhere to be found.
Call it what you will. The silent treatment. The cold shoulder. Complete rejection. It's all the same.
