Hope everyone enjoyed their Xmas day celebrations. Thank you for reading and reviewing :)


AJs P.O.V.

I am like stone, just falling back on my heel, stumbling against Phil. I am so painfully stunned, taunted by the pure evil in the face of the man, stood smirking so damn proudly. And the gun that lies in front of him... it's nothing, whether or not the bastard is loaded. Because his threat, he says it was empty. I let him degrade me, I let him put his hands all over me, and for what?

"You weren't going to do anything were you?" I hiss, my facial muscles all twisted in disgust.

He bows his head, his hand dropping like a claw over the gun. "I can if you'd prefer."

Rigid, I defy him with one maddened look as I stand in front of my husband.

"You were never going to hurt him at all. You just... had Zack done over... made me think it! You made me believe it because you knew... you knew I could never let anything happen to my family! You knew I'd do it. If you scared me enough, you knew I'd do whatever you asked... that I'd break his heart because I love him so much!"

He smirks, making me convulse in repulsion. "Well, you've really proved yourself now haven't you April?"

"He's my life!" I scream. I stumble awkwardly forward, nervously glancing over my shoulder at Phil, stood there, face blank. He's just too painfully stunned. I don't think he was ever going to believe me again. "And until you forced me here today, made me think I had no choice... we meant the world to each other! But you could never understand that, could you Jack? Love. It hasn't got terms and conditions attached. It's not about power, pain! All that matters to me is my husband and my children; you knew that and you used it! What's this all about for God's sake?"

"You should have stayed away from my son, April." he says warningly.

Phil spits out a mocking laugh from behind me, making me flinch in surprise. "And what's it gonna take to make you love your son Jack? I mean, if some sick bastard went and put his hands round your wife, my mothers' throat..."

Jack shakes angrily, his face paling. He can't hold it in. "Shut your mouth!"

"...forced her against a wall..."

Nausea swirls inside me, shame burning, because we all know what he's alluding to. "Phillip-"

"...and made her push up her skirt; what are you gonna do? What can you do to show her you love her?"

And I'm staring at the floor, in guilt, in fear. Because really, Phils' words are coming for me as well as Jack, punishing us both. This isn't how I need my darlin' to prove his love. I need him to step back, but I know I've damaged him too much to even hope that he might consider it.

"I'd kill ya."

Phil nods slowly, really taking in Jack's words. "So you know what's coming then?"

Perplexed, just for a moment, Jack straightens up, head tilted up as he tries to work out my husband like a puzzle. Then, he grins. He grins.

"Oh Phillip! Good to see you again; I did wonder how long it would take you before you reverted to type! That's where your real problem is really. Because really, you're just like me. Trying to kid yourself a family man, but you're still just cold underneath. Only knowing one way to live. And it is about respect, it is about power." Jack gives me a withering look, like he's trying to dimiss my apparant naivety with his words. "And I'm proud to say, I've taken all that from you. So what's left Phillip, eh? I'm curious."

"You know what's left Jack." Phil assures him dangerously.

"Well go on then." Jack says calmly, nodding towards the gun on the desk. "This should be second nature to you by now."

At those words, I feel sick, swinging round into Phils' path. "Please... don't."

His eyes are dark and cold. "Why shouldn't I?"

I struggle to gulp down the sob swelling in my throat, my voice swaying. "Because you're better than this."

"Nah. Because you and him... you made sure I wasn't better than anything. I'm gonna kill him April, I am."

"You can't. You can't make it be that I gave up everything to save you, just to... to... They'll make you pay. If you do this, whether you live or die, they'll still take you away from the baby. from our beautiful kids. And you said you couldn't fail them." And then I choke miserably on all the emotion shaking me. "So we're begging you... leave him. Leave him to rot. He doesn't matter anymore. he's nothing."

The hugest sigh of resignation tears through Phils' entire body, making his chest heave. He bows his head, bits into his pierced lip, and turns out of the room. I watch him go, rooted to the spot, so relieved to see him walk away.

"Not going to follow your precious husband then April dear?"

"Oh I will." I assure Jack viciously, whirling round to face him. "Because you won't win Jack, you'll never win. You think... that you've torn my marriage to shreds, but I promise you, even if it takes me the rest of my life, I'm going to piece it back together - my Phil is too good to let go - it's you that's going to die a lonely man Jack. Phils' children, my children... they're going to love him, because he's a good man. No matter what kind of world he came from, he picked himself up, made an honest life for himself. And you can mock, because I know that doesn't mean anything to animals like you, but that's because it's impossible to love men with no feeling - and I love Phillip with all my heart."

He gives me a tight smile. "Good luck convincing him of that one."

"You made me tear at his soul, because you know that me and those kids, this baby, we're everything to him. You think you've left him with nothing, but you're wrong. Because I'm his wife, I saved him and I'm not going anywhere. Whatever you've done to us, I'll be there... when he hates me, when he doubts me, when he breaks down. And I've got no shame in telling you that's what he'll do, because I'll be holding him together. For better or worse, like I promised."

"Touching." he scoffs as I turn away towards the door, ready to race after Phil and beg him back to our love.

"Yeah!" I hit back defiantly. "It is. Because we all break. So just ask yourself Jack... who's going to be there to pick up the pieces when you fall apart?"

And it's his silence that sees me out of this poisonous little room. Somewhere amongst all my guilt and fear, I feel the smallest swirl of triumph.

But it dies away quickly as I find myself in the dark and lonely night with no idea where my husband has gone. I race around, every part of me aching, my eyes sore with so many unshed tears, my skin tight with those that stain my face.

He's not in the tube station, he's not on the platform and I don't believe he could have already gone. It's been a few minutes, that's all. He's not in the bar, but I guess I knew that. The last thing he would want is to be surrounded by all those that... well, drowned their sorrows.

Whether he's there or not, despite my hammering and tearful pleading, he doesn't answer the door at the house. I don't believe he'd want to come back here either though; not really. He'd need to be somewhere neutral, somewhere he could try and drive everything from his head. But I've gone all around with no sign of him. And I'm scared, sickened too as I come full circle back to the club. I turn away in disgust, staggering round to the little community centre, leaning heavily against the railings surrounding a playground as I cry.

And through the blur of hot, remorseful tears, oh I sag. Because there he is. Rocking despondently back and forth on a tyre swing, his eyes fixed straight ahead.

"Phil?" I whisper cautiously, wiping the streams from my eyes.

He flinches, head snapping round. His expression is unchanged. I sigh sadly but duck under the railing, the bark crunching beneath my feet. I straighten up, just gazing at him. His lips rise a little in recognition and I'm foolish enough to hope, to smile back. But he looks away in disgust, bowing his head and fiddling anxiously with his hands in his lap. I go over, leaning against the frame, my feverish palm curled around the cool metal.

But he doesn't move or speak. I can't bear it, pushing away from the frame and taking a step forward. He leans even further forward, tucking in his chin. I sink down, crouching in front of him, realising he's crying. Desperate for me not to see.

"Please... look at me..."

He sniffles and raises his head definitely. "Is this what you wanted to see?"

"No." I whisper, feeling my heart break. "Oh darlin', no!"

"I hope it was worth it April, I really do. Because I just can't do this anymore."

"Don't say that. We'll work it out."

"How? I can't even bear to look at you... my wife... and all I can see is him - and the bastard didn't even wanna kill me! And what about Zack eh, what if he's killed him?"

"He hasn't!" I protest desperately. "Zack was... my warning. I really believed Jack was gonna hurt you... I'd never have- not for anything! Please, say you believe me..."

"No. I can't trust in anything you say to me anymore."

And he twists furiously at his wedding ring on his finger, desperate to loosen it, and it's like he's taken a blade to my heart. Except the bonds of our marriage are stubborn. The ring won't budge and he leaps up in a fury. I pull myself up too, not steady on my own feet as I lurch for his hand. I just can't let him leave me. Not yet. Not like this.

But this one touch is too intrusive, too intimate for him to bear. He lashes out, throwing me off with all his might, bucking against me to tear his hand from my grasp and escape my touch, my presence. Except, I can't support myself. It's like the world falls around me as I crash to the floor, landing hard against the metal frame. And immediately, I'm screaming at the agony tearing right across my abdomen.

Phil is motionless; again like he didn't realise what was happening. He looks down on me, the moonlight illuminating the guilt, the panic in his eyes.

Never knowing if it'll come, I'm there, crumpled in a heap, pleading for his help. I'm so scared.

"The baby, Phillip! The baby!"


Punks P.O.V.

I'm shaking. Just to look at her, I feel ill. Why can't I move? Oh fuck, oh fuck, what have I done? Whatever I think of April, whatever I don't dare think about her, I never... never, ever, ever meant to endanger the baby. Because, that kind of innocence, it means something. But I... I just lashed out. I couldn't help it. She had a hold on my hand and I couldn't bear it. I didn't want her touching me, not after everything. The last time she held my hand, she was still... clean. She was mine, I loved her. And now I don't know what to believe in. Except my baby. Bloody hell, the kid hasn't done anything wrong!

I stumble, pressing my hand a little higher around the frame that April fell against. She's curled up, writhing on the bark, crying at the pain, her arms trying to protect her stomach. I crouch down, wincing as the bark cracks beneath my feet. I can't bear to truly think through the enormity of what I might have caused. I can't. I just need to make it right. I can't stand to lose anything else. I thought it was all gone, but that bastard can't have my baby too. It's mine.

"Alright... Alright! C'mon..." I reach over, helping her sit against the frame. Fuck, the tears really are pouring from her eyes. I feel that fright too. I sniffle back a wave of remorseful tears and pull myself halfway to my feet, poised. "Give me your hand-"

And still it shakes even as it rests in mine. Silently, I count to three and help her to her feet, wincing in my own agony as she screams, unable to take the exertion.

"Where... are we... going?"

"The hospital. Then they can... check the baby over. Look... can you walk?"

She lumbers on for a few steps, but then sags, shuddering with sobs. "I can't do it! Phillip, please!"

I bite into my lip, praying my voice won't sway as to give me away as the tears build unseen in my eyes. "What am I meant to do, April?" I demand, whirling desperately around as she holds her weight against the railings. "Tell me!" But she just looks at me and I realise, she needs me to have the answer. I can only think of one. I turn and I run, without so much as thinking.

"Phillip!"